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(WHDH Boston)   Fark Ready Headline: Drunken Attleboro man broke into zoo because he wanted to 'look at the monkeys'   (whdh.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Attleboro, Massachusetts, Primate, All rights reserved, Copyright, Capron Park Zoo, Sunbeam Television, Joseph Villa, break-in  
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989 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jun 2020 at 8:35 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-06-06 8:08:21 PM  
9 votes:
Holy shiat!  I used to work with that asshole.  He was fired.... for being drunk on the job. See he hasn't changed...
 
2020-06-06 9:17:56 PM  
4 votes:

Salmon: Csb:

I used to play pool for beers with this character that told me he took a chick home one night, and she had two pet monkeys.

Apparently when they started to make out on the couch the monkeys got jealous and the started flipping around in front of him while spraying with urine and feces until he was totally covered in it, he said the smell and taste of it (lots hit his face) was atrocious.

He said he still got laid though, I never asked if he bathed first.

/csb


That is definitely taking "the s**t I put up with to get laid" to a new level...
 
2020-06-06 9:01:21 PM  
3 votes:
Sprockets: Would you like to touch my monkey?
Youtube DLlbWiTo_wQ
 
2020-06-06 8:51:11 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 8:56:03 PM  
2 votes:
That's as valid a reason as any.
 
2020-06-06 8:38:04 PM  
2 votes:
The correct answer is that the monkeys want to see me.
 
2020-06-06 5:40:08 PM  
2 votes:
I was born in that town. There was a gibbon who loved to whiz on unsuspecting people walking by his enclosure. Vicious little Farker too.
 
2020-06-07 2:48:51 PM  
1 vote:

MarkLWilliams: I was born in that town. There was a gibbon who loved to whiz on unsuspecting people walking by his enclosure. Vicious little Farker too.


(Easton, this is still pretty local for fark)
 
2020-06-07 10:32:23 AM  
1 vote:

art_shamsky: I live very near this zoo, and to be fair, the lemur island exhibit is pretty cool. Probably the most exciting thing to have happened in Attleboro in years.

/post-quarantine Providence Fark party?
//lemurs optional
///but bring three


I'm down. How about Craft BandB?
 
2020-06-06 9:37:07 PM  
1 vote:
Overheard at the monkey cage: "So, you see, son, this evolution thing doesn't always work out for the better."
 
2020-06-06 9:09:36 PM  
1 vote:

Salmon: Csb:

I used to play pool for beers with this character that told me he took a chick home one night, and she had two pet monkeys.

Apparently when they started to make out on the couch the monkeys got jealous and the started flipping around in front of him while spraying with urine and feces until he was totally covered in it, he said the smell and taste of it (lots hit his face) was atrocious.

He said he still got laid though, I never asked if he bathed first.

/csb


Didn't matter.  Had sex
 
2020-06-06 8:40:07 PM  
1 vote:

bearded clamorer: [Fark user image image 348x436]
[Fark user image image 348x257]


Looks like the secret child of John Belushi and Kelsey Grammer.
 
2020-06-06 8:36:44 PM  
1 vote:
Drunken Attleboro is my favorite British documentary narrator.
 
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