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(Twitter)   Ted Cruz can finally flush the constitution he has been using for the last 3 months   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, shot  
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5203 clicks; posted to Politics » on 06 Jun 2020 at 6:35 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-06-06 2:24:15 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2020-06-06 2:33:25 PM  
This may come as a shock, but Ted Cruz is apparently full of sh*t.
 
2020-06-06 2:36:18 PM  
What has he been wiping his butt with since March?
7.0.3
 
2020-06-06 2:38:10 PM  
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, asshole anchor baby from Møøsestønia Hates Capitolizms!
Also;
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 2:38:38 PM  
Oddly, today was the first day since February where I saw the TP aisle fully stocked at my grocery store.

Our long, national nightmare is now over.
 
2020-06-06 2:42:27 PM  
He shouldn't have ordered cheap Chinese toilet paper. That was his choice. It's on him.
 
2020-06-06 2:48:00 PM  
My thoughts and prayers go out to Ted in his difficult times. We know that others have triumphed through lesser adversity.
 
2020-06-06 3:05:23 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Lulz
 
2020-06-06 3:44:55 PM  

Badmoodman: This may come as a shock, but Ted Cruz is apparently full of sh*t.


Well, not just before wiping with the TP.
 
2020-06-06 3:54:06 PM  
Was at Costco Iowa City Thursday.  They had a veritable mountain, MOUNTAIN of Kirkland TP, and not one other roll of any other kind.
 
2020-06-06 3:55:16 PM  

Wookie_Jesus: What has he been wiping his butt with since March?
7.0.3


The man eats boogers. You really don't want to know.
 
2020-06-06 5:30:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 5:32:07 PM  

Wookie_Jesus: What has he been wiping his butt with since March?
7.0.3


Common sense and decency.
 
2020-06-06 5:52:30 PM  
So, in the middle of a lockdown, you ordered toilet paper from the nation of origin of the disease in question?

Teddy Bear, you are so very bad at trying to appear human.
 
2020-06-06 6:28:34 PM  
He's been wiping his ass with his camera lens. Does it take that much effort to take your shirt sleeve and wipe your lens before taking a photo? Unless you're going for that 70s softcore porn look... which is kind of creepy in this context.
 
2020-06-06 6:36:58 PM  
"So, in March, at the start of coronavirus lockdown, I went on Amazon to try to buy toilet paper. I bought the only kind that was available. It finally arrived yesterday, shipped from China. Pitiful!"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 6:37:24 PM  
As if that ass orders or shops for his own household supplies.
 
2020-06-06 6:38:31 PM  

SoupGuru: He's been wiping his ass with his camera lens. Does it take that much effort to take your shirt sleeve and wipe your lens before taking a photo? Unless you're going for that 70s softcore porn look... which is kind of creepy in this context.


Yeah, but somehow appropriate
 
2020-06-06 6:39:13 PM  
I honestly did not know his species pooped.
 
2020-06-06 6:41:10 PM  
Now imagine you're a nurse and that's PPE.
 
2020-06-06 6:41:16 PM  

cretinbob: He shouldn't have ordered cheap Chinese toilet paper. That was his choice. It's on him.


Probably wasn't that cheap either.
 
2020-06-06 6:41:29 PM  
I haven't had much trouble finding TP for the past couple of months.  True, it might be the store brand, but unless it's the super cheap-ass stuff, that's fine.

So, yeah, once again Raphael is utterly full of shiat.
 
2020-06-06 6:41:45 PM  

SumoJeb: I honestly did not know his species pooped.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 6:42:18 PM  
That photo is disgusting
 
2020-06-06 6:44:48 PM  

AnEasyTarget: SumoJeb: I honestly did not know his species pooped.

[Fark user image 425x425]


well, ok I figured he pooped. But I assumed he ate it like a beaver while mumbling something about excessive government waste.
 
2020-06-06 6:45:04 PM  
Regarding TP shortages, I wonder what the effect is in regards to region. My local store has been stocked with a full variety for weeks now. Still not much flour, tho.
 
2020-06-06 6:45:10 PM  

cretinbob: He shouldn't have ordered cheap Chinese toilet paper. That was his choice. It's on him.


To be fair, (and I hate being fair to Ted Cruz,) I looked through Amazon for TP around that time period.  I only found 1 seller that had it in stock at a remotely acceptable price.  Three weeks later (it was 3-4 weeks free shipping) I look back at the seller and there are around 30-40 1 star reviews, all saying the product sucked.  I can't verify the quality as my order never arrived and Amazon gave me a refund, but I wouldn't be surprised if we had bought from the same seller.
 
2020-06-06 6:46:55 PM  

kazrak: Oddly, today was the first day since February where I saw the TP aisle fully stocked at my grocery store.

Our long, national nightmare is now over.


Ours was full but today is completely empty. But I think all the soccer moms shop this store on Saturday.
 
2020-06-06 6:48:18 PM  

kazrak: Oddly, today was the first day since February where I saw the TP aisle fully stocked at my grocery store.

Our long, national nightmare is now over.


Honestly I noticed that while shopping yesterday too. I still have almost 10 rolls left (yes, I am keeping count) so I didn't buy any, even though it has been in the back of my mind that the protests/riots might start people panic-buying again.

Next stop, Lysol spray?
 
2020-06-06 6:48:52 PM  

SumoJeb: AnEasyTarget: SumoJeb: I honestly did not know his species pooped.

[Fark user image 425x425]

well, ok I figured he pooped. But I assumed he ate it like a beaver while mumbling something about excessive government waste.


Its more of a secretion, but yeah he poops.
 
2020-06-06 6:51:58 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 6:51:59 PM  

SumoJeb: I honestly did not know his species pooped.


i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 6:52:07 PM  
So he is mad at how shiatty of a job he does running the country?
 
2020-06-06 6:52:53 PM  
Ted Cruz, why no buy America? Why?
 
2020-06-06 6:54:50 PM  
Am I the only one that this make no sense to?

So he is mad that there was supply change problems across the US?

I think he is trying to blame Amazon but if you step back from it he is actually more at fault then Amazon is.
 
2020-06-06 6:56:27 PM  

cretinbob: He shouldn't have ordered cheap Chinese toilet paper. That was his choice. It's on him.


Hope it gives him lead poisoning.
 
2020-06-06 6:57:11 PM  
Stupid stuff like this makes it really difficult to believe he argued in front of SCOTUS on numerous occasions.
 
2020-06-06 6:57:40 PM  
The mythical single roll all other rolls are compared to. I am in awe.
 
2020-06-06 6:58:56 PM  

geoduck42: Regarding TP shortages, I wonder what the effect is in regards to region. My local store has been stocked with a full variety for weeks now. Still not much flour, tho.


He's been in both DC and Texas.  I know there's plenty of shiat in both places so if he'd thought about it, he could've procured TP with ease from a reputable outlet or one of many back alley dealers.

I'm thinking he got home from DC and his ugly ugly butt ugly wife shrieked at him and now he needs to manufacture this wild excuse as to why he went and bought some from the most far-fetched place one buys TP imaginable.
 
2020-06-06 6:59:38 PM  
Hey Cruz, If there was a god those rolls would be full of wood chunks and slivers and you would have no other option during the upcoming 2nd covid wave.
You're lucky Ted, There is no god.
 
2020-06-06 7:02:05 PM  
He's not kissing up to Herr Drumpf properly if he's:

1. Buying from China
2. Ordering from Amazon
 
2020-06-06 7:03:30 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:

tedcruz: So, in March, at the start of coronavirus lockdown, I went on Amazon to try to buy toilet paper. I bought the only kind that was available. It finally arrived yesterday, shipped from China. Pitiful! 🤨🤨 https://t.co/GeQqdzhTHw


Since Lindsey Graham is known as "Lady G" amongst all of the male sex-workers he has been dominated by....what nickname does does Ted have?
 
2020-06-06 7:04:56 PM  
The excellence of subby's headline should not be overlooked.
 
2020-06-06 7:06:30 PM  
Can someone put some googly eyes on those rolls?  They look terrified.
 
2020-06-06 7:07:56 PM  
Wow, he sure does buy substandard TP.  Single ply, extra thin.  I'd wager his fingernails are full of the same sort of stuff that fills his mind.
 
2020-06-06 7:11:20 PM  
Money-grubbing conservatives have been buying up our political system for the last thirty years so they can outsource everything with impunity...and get rid of that pesky American workforce...and keep all the profits...and live among us..and pay no taxes...and wrap themselves in a flag at every turn...and declare themselves "patriotic". Pitiful!
 
2020-06-06 7:11:31 PM  
Weird, I ordered a few things from Amazon that came from China and nothing took more than a month. Beside why would one order something their is allegedly a shortage of from China, it's likely that stores get it from China as well and a big order for a business surely take priority over a small order for an individual.
 
2020-06-06 7:13:16 PM  

CaptainFatass: kazrak: Oddly, today was the first day since February where I saw the TP aisle fully stocked at my grocery store.

Our long, national nightmare is now over.

Honestly I noticed that while shopping yesterday too. I still have almost 10 rolls left (yes, I am keeping count) so I didn't buy any, even though it has been in the back of my mind that the protests/riots might start people panic-buying again.

Next stop, Lysol spray?



Formula 409 is unobtainable where I am.
 
2020-06-06 7:14:01 PM  
He's probably been stealing from the Senate since March
 
2020-06-06 7:14:45 PM  
Hasn't wiped his ass in three months?
 
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