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(Twitter)   The nation of Israel has decided to argue with God. On Twitter   (twitter.com) divider line
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3413 clicks; posted to Politics » on 03 Jun 2020 at 3:21 PM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-06-03 1:56:59 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2020-06-03 2:24:31 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 2:29:05 PM  
It's getting spicier and danker:

media1.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 2:30:52 PM  
Technically the province was known as Judea at the time, but God's point still stands.
 
2020-06-03 2:34:28 PM  
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2020-06-03 2:54:22 PM  
So, Biblically speaking, has it ever turned out well for any of the Line of Abraham to try arguing with God? The only example I can think of even in the neighborhood is when Abraham himself pleaded mercy for Sodom... which still turned out pretty bad for most of that city's inhabitants.
 
2020-06-03 3:07:37 PM  

abb3w: So, Biblically speaking, has it ever turned out well for any of the Line of Abraham to try arguing with God? The only example I can think of even in the neighborhood is when Abraham himself pleaded mercy for Sodom... which still turned out pretty bad for most of that city's inhabitants.


Pass the salt.
 
2020-06-03 3:20:11 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:

Israel: @TheTweetOfGod God: Jesus was a Palestinian. Jesus: Hey Dad, remember when you gave that speech about Jewish values at my Bar Mitzvah?


Was he Ashkenazi or Sephardic?
 
2020-06-03 3:23:55 PM  
BREAKING: the State of Israel converts to Christianity, accepts that Jesus was the Son of God.
 
2020-06-03 3:25:12 PM  

vudukungfu: abb3w: So, Biblically speaking, has it ever turned out well for any of the Line of Abraham to try arguing with God? The only example I can think of even in the neighborhood is when Abraham himself pleaded mercy for Sodom... which still turned out pretty bad for most of that city's inhabitants.

Pass the salt.


There's a Lot.
 
2020-06-03 3:25:42 PM  

andrewagill: Technically the province was known as Judea at the time, but God's point still stands.


Spliter !

Technically correct though.
 
2020-06-03 3:26:09 PM  
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That got awkward pretty quickly.
 
2020-06-03 3:26:09 PM  
The dude/dudette that runs this account has some major stones/ovaries.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 3:26:31 PM  

abb3w: So, Biblically speaking, has it ever turned out well for any of the Line of Abraham to try arguing with God? The only example I can think of even in the neighborhood is when Abraham himself pleaded mercy for Sodom... which still turned out pretty bad for most of that city's inhabitants.


Moses did dicker God down to just 10 Commandments.  Jews can drink and dance thanks to him!
 
2020-06-03 3:26:48 PM  
The nation of Israel is also accepting that God had a Son.
 
2020-06-03 3:26:50 PM  

A'isha P.: BREAKING: the State of Israel converts to Christianity, accepts that Jesus was the Son of God.


Yeah, I came here to say that.  They kinda burned themselves there.
 
2020-06-03 3:27:08 PM  

ArkPanda: Original: Original Tweet:

Israel: @TheTweetOfGod God: Jesus was a Palestinian. Jesus: Hey Dad, remember when you gave that speech about Jewish values at my Bar Mitzvah?


Was he Ashkenazi or Sephardic?


Ethiopians don't count. So I've been told
 
2020-06-03 3:27:11 PM  
George jones*****(would they love him down in shreveport today)
Youtube 3QySkVXwE_s
 
2020-06-03 3:27:39 PM  
Oh that thread has some "gems" of stupid in them.
 
2020-06-03 3:27:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 3:28:00 PM  

Darth_Saltine: vudukungfu: abb3w: So, Biblically speaking, has it ever turned out well for any of the Line of Abraham to try arguing with God? The only example I can think of even in the neighborhood is when Abraham himself pleaded mercy for Sodom... which still turned out pretty bad for most of that city's inhabitants.

Pass the salt.

There's a Lot.


Are you sure? Maybe check with the wife?
 
2020-06-03 3:28:38 PM  

PanicAttack: The dude/dudette that runs this account has some major stones/ovaries.
[Fark user image 591x312]


Entirely irrelevant to thread topic, but relevant to the humor skillz of that account + his/her genital fortitude:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 3:28:38 PM  
Mother of GOD!!

/oh wait
 
2020-06-03 3:28:39 PM  
I had a roomie once who refused to turn off the lights at two in the morning because I told him Jesus was a Jew and he wanted to argue about it

// H was a ND boy...he had never seen a real-life black person till moving to MN...
 
2020-06-03 3:28:40 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: [Fark user image image 594x161]

That got awkward pretty quickly.


Some Jews accepted that Jesus is the son of God (and some later accepted that he is also God).

Those people are called Christians...

/awkward
 
2020-06-03 3:29:06 PM  
God should revoke their self-appointed chosen people perk
 
2020-06-03 3:30:10 PM  

SFSailor: PanicAttack: The dude/dudette that runs this account has some major stones/ovaries.
[Fark user image 591x312]

Entirely irrelevant to thread topic, but relevant to the humor skillz of that account + his/her genital fortitude:

[Fark user image 619x215]


I was just about to post that one. Internet high five!
 
2020-06-03 3:31:03 PM  

lectos: A'isha P.: BREAKING: the State of Israel converts to Christianity, accepts that Jesus was the Son of God.

Yeah, I came here to say that.  They kinda burned themselves there.


I mean I know they really want the evangelical support and money but this seems a little much.
 
2020-06-03 3:31:13 PM  

ArkPanda: Original: Original Tweet:

Israel: @TheTweetOfGod God: Jesus was a Palestinian. Jesus: Hey Dad, remember when you gave that speech about Jewish values at my Bar Mitzvah?


Was he Ashkenazi or Sephardic?


Mizrahi I'd wager.
 
2020-06-03 3:34:34 PM  

PanicAttack: [Fark user image 587x140]


Awesome.

I hope who ever runs that account has an extraordinarily well  paid job doing something they love creating humor content, or any kind, really.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 3:35:09 PM  
"Once again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord."
 
2020-06-03 3:35:52 PM  

PanicAttack: SFSailor: PanicAttack: The dude/dudette that runs this account has some major stones/ovaries.
[Fark user image 591x312]

Entirely irrelevant to thread topic, but relevant to the humor skillz of that account + his/her genital fortitude:

[Fark user image 619x215]

I was just about to post that one. Internet high five!


That account is one of the very, very few that has me questioning never having, and refusing to get, a Twitter account.
 
2020-06-03 3:36:33 PM  
Can anyone help me interpret what Israel's point here is? I don't really follow.

Love that God's twitter account capitalizes Me.
 
2020-06-03 3:36:48 PM  

ColonelCathcart: HotWingConspiracy: [Fark user image image 594x161]

That got awkward pretty quickly.

Some Jews accepted that Jesus is the son of God (and some later accepted that he is also God).

Those people are called Christians...

/awkward


They're called Jews for Jesus. Egaad everyone knows that, or was I duped? Is that a thing?
 
2020-06-03 3:38:19 PM  

A'isha P.: BREAKING: the State of Israel converts to Christianity, accepts that Jesus was the Son of God.


Jews For Jesus 2: Electric Boogaloo?
 
2020-06-03 3:40:30 PM  

abb3w: So, Biblically speaking, has it ever turned out well for any of the Line of Abraham to try arguing with God? The only example I can think of even in the neighborhood is when Abraham himself pleaded mercy for Sodom... which still turned out pretty bad for most of that city's inhabitants.


That whole negotiation is, for my money, the funniest thing in the bible.

God: Sodom is full of awful people Imma destroy it.
Abe: Let's deal. If you can find 50 good men how about maybe don't destroy it.
God: Ok, well yeah that is a bit hasty I suppose....
Abe: Well hold on now, since you're willing to negotiate how about 45?
God: Um, sure why not but if I don't find
Abe: Would you do 40?
God: Ummm, ... I guess?
Abe: How about 35, do it for 35?
God: Abe?
Abe: 30, will you do it for 30?
God: --
Abe: 20?
God: --
Abe: 10? That's my final offer will you do ten?
God: Ok.<leaves>
Then the clincher, God decides to destroy the city, but spares Lot, because he's a good guy, as demonstrated by his effort to stop the Sodomites from raping the angels who are guests at his house by offering up his daughters to be raped instead.

Some solid morality tales there.
 
2020-06-03 3:40:57 PM  

BlousyBrown: ColonelCathcart: HotWingConspiracy: [Fark user image image 594x161]

That got awkward pretty quickly.

Some Jews accepted that Jesus is the son of God (and some later accepted that he is also God).

Those people are called Christians...

/awkward

They're called Jews for Jesus. Egaad everyone knows that, or was I duped? Is that a thing?


The Jews for Jesus...It's a grifter thing, but I more meant the fact that Jesus was a Jew. He said he was the messiah. Most Jews told him that he was meshuggeneh while others wanted to kill him.

Some Jews (like Simon) were like...hey maybe he's onto something. Ya totally. Then they changed their name.

Then the council of Nicaea happened and most Christians accepted that Jesus was also the same entity as God (so God).
 
2020-06-03 3:41:06 PM  
Said one genocidal maniac to the other.
 
2020-06-03 3:41:15 PM  

fragMasterFlash: Darth_Saltine: vudukungfu: abb3w: So, Biblically speaking, has it ever turned out well for any of the Line of Abraham to try arguing with God? The only example I can think of even in the neighborhood is when Abraham himself pleaded mercy for Sodom... which still turned out pretty bad for most of that city's inhabitants.

Pass the salt.

There's a Lot.

Are you sure? Maybe check with the wife?


I heard she was a pillar in that particular community.
 
2020-06-03 3:41:17 PM  

SFSailor: PanicAttack: SFSailor: PanicAttack: The dude/dudette that runs this account has some major stones/ovaries.
[Fark user image 591x312]

Entirely irrelevant to thread topic, but relevant to the humor skillz of that account + his/her genital fortitude:

[Fark user image 619x215]

I was just about to post that one. Internet high five!

That account is one of the very, very few that has me questioning never having, and refusing to get, a Twitter account.


I've had an account since about 2010 and am very selective about following people that I respect and/or are funny. If your following list is small and if you don't tweet (or tweet very rarely), you won't get any followers, and you don't get alot of the bullshiat.

I find it especially helpful in times like these where I can review protest videos and news as it's happening rather than waiting and hoping a decent media source picks it up. I have to scrutinize what I view/read more, but for me at least, it's worth it in the end if you luckily have a small online presence.
 
2020-06-03 3:42:13 PM  
Jesus Was A Black Dude - Not Some White Guy With A Tan
Youtube 39uMG6RUM9Q
 
2020-06-03 3:42:39 PM  

DrJesusPhD: Can anyone help me interpret what Israel's point here is? I don't really follow.


"We really, really hate Palestinians.  So much so that we can't even stand to see a joke Twitter account call Jesus (who is theologically nothing in Judaism) a Palestinian."
 
2020-06-03 3:42:49 PM  

Epic Fap Session: "Once again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord."


Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir
So that every mouth can be fed
Poor me Israelites, ah....
 
2020-06-03 3:43:10 PM  

ColonelCathcart: HotWingConspiracy: [Fark user image image 594x161]

That got awkward pretty quickly.

Some Jews accepted that Jesus is the son of God (and some later accepted that he is also God).

Those people are called Christians...

/awkward


Hey now, there's also Jews for Jesus.

/ OK, those guys might also be Christians that like Saturday better than Sunday
 
2020-06-03 3:43:40 PM  

A'isha P.: BREAKING: the State of Israel converts to Christianity, accepts that Jesus was the Son of God.


As the Book of Revelation predicts. Next step: Smite, smite, smite! Also be on the lookout for seven headed dragons and/or antimatter Jesus.
 
2020-06-03 3:43:43 PM  

DrJesusPhD: Can anyone help me interpret what Israel's point here is? I don't really follow.

Love that God's twitter account capitalizes Me.


The idea that Jesus might be recognized as Palestinian is rather unacceptable to them. You'd think they wouldn't care, but virulent racism often beats out religious concerns.
 
2020-06-03 3:44:32 PM  
It's like LotR or Star Wars fandoms arguing.
 
2020-06-03 3:45:32 PM  

DrJesusPhD: Can anyone help me interpret what Israel's point here is? I don't really follow.

Love that God's twitter account capitalizes Me.


Palestine is not a real country LOL.

Or something to that effect. Anyway, don't bother us while we're annexing more land while denying the people on it their civil rights, you farking anti-semite.
 
2020-06-03 3:46:31 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: DrJesusPhD: Can anyone help me interpret what Israel's point here is? I don't really follow.

Love that God's twitter account capitalizes Me.

The idea that Jesus might be recognized as Palestinian is rather unacceptable to them. You'd think they wouldn't care, but virulent racism often beats out religious concerns.


It's not racism. They're all Semitic people as are their languages. It's 100% religionism.

Fark user imageView Full Size


/also, these neighbors have been trying to kill them for 1,500 years in this incarnation of their religion
//before religion United Arabs and people of the Levant and Mesopotamia, they were killing each other lots for thousands of years before that
/3
 
2020-06-03 3:47:25 PM  
God damn it. People keep beating me to the point in this thread. Antisemitism reigns on the internet.
 
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