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(Scientific American)   Butt wiping throughout the ages; at last, the story can be told. Still no word on how to use the three sea shells   (scientificamerican.com) divider line
    More: Vintage, Toilet, use of pessoi, Hygiene, Toilet paper, study's authors, search of an ancient Greek artifact, creative employment of ostraca, Defecation  
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373 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Jun 2020 at 2:52 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



21 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-03 3:00:33 AM  
im partial to bidets
 
2020-06-03 3:00:53 AM  
Well, the article does discuss the use of the three stones. That's like a primitive version of the three sea shells.
 
2020-06-03 3:05:05 AM  
My guess: one to dig a hole, one to wipe, one to scoop it all up and bury it.
 
2020-06-03 3:08:00 AM  
What did dogs do before carpets?
 
2020-06-03 3:17:44 AM  

flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets


Cool, you are a buffoon who falls for marketing tricks to waste your money


You still brush your teeth with a toothbrush thats covered in your own microshiat particles
 
2020-06-03 3:23:56 AM  

lifeslammer: flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets

Cool, you are a buffoon who falls for marketing tricks to waste your money

You still brush your teeth with a toothbrush thats covered in your own microshiat particles


I'm interested in your theories and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

What do you recommend for the cleaning of teeth?

(Guessing: Whiskey!)
 
2020-06-03 3:34:30 AM  

lifeslammer: flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets

Cool, you are a buffoon who falls for marketing tricks to waste your money


You still brush your teeth with a toothbrush thats covered in your own microshiat particles


If only there were a way to minimize this, like a toilet lid that closes or some sort of storage unit with a door, that a toothbrush could be placed inside.
 
2020-06-03 3:49:40 AM  
"An analysis of old customs makes us privy to a slice of ancient life"

Heh heh heh heh...he said privy.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 4:06:20 AM  

flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets


Well, in the past two and a half months, I've trained my bowels to move right before I take a shower.

That's kind of like a bidet...

... if you set the showerhead to 'massage,' aim it for the back wall, turn around, bend over, and spread 'em.

/so clean I squeak when I walk
 
2020-06-03 4:20:57 AM  

bughunter: Well, in the past two and a half months, I've trained my bowels to move right before I take a shower.


So, you don't have a closet full of toilet paper? Amazing. :-)
 
2020-06-03 4:23:45 AM  

Destructor: bughunter: Well, in the past two and a half months, I've trained my bowels to move right before I take a shower.

So, you don't have a closet full of toilet paper? Amazing. :-)


Dude, it's bughunter, not boghunter.
 
2020-06-03 4:43:38 AM  

bughunter: flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets

Well, in the past two and a half months, I've trained my bowels to move right before I take a shower.

That's kind of like a bidet...

... if you set the showerhead to 'massage,' aim it for the back wall, turn around, bend over, and spread 'em.

/so clean I squeak when I walk


Pretty much this

I got hooked one summer in Italy and it's been a wash ever since
Protip: unless you have hot water to your toilet those retrofit hose jobs take some getting used to/you're never gonna use it ever because cold water is cold
 
2020-06-03 5:47:02 AM  
Based on the headline, this is a story I didn't want to read.
 
2020-06-03 6:18:14 AM  
Butt wiping of the future would be amazing if I could just get some investors.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 7:45:13 AM  
As was said by another Farker in another TP thread: slow kitten.
 
2020-06-03 8:02:43 AM  
andy's wiping problem
Youtube vGCIGEUB32M
 
2020-06-03 8:03:43 AM  

lifeslammer: flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets

Cool, you are a buffoon who falls for marketing tricks to waste your money


You still brush your teeth with a toothbrush thats covered in your own microshiat particles


Strange level of hostility in this response.  Do you think there's more fecal matter than flushing a toilet?

A bidet will change your life.  I'm considering a Japanese Cadillac.
 
2020-06-03 8:20:36 AM  

flappy_penguin: bughunter: flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets

Well, in the past two and a half months, I've trained my bowels to move right before I take a shower.

That's kind of like a bidet...

... if you set the showerhead to 'massage,' aim it for the back wall, turn around, bend over, and spread 'em.

/so clean I squeak when I walk

Pretty much this

I got hooked one summer in Italy and it's been a wash ever since
Protip: unless you have hot water to your toilet those retrofit hose jobs take some getting used to/you're never gonna use it ever because cold water is cold


How do you dry yourself off afterwards? I mean, of course I'd figure a towel is used...but then what do you do with the towel? Re-use it? Seems like it would still be a bit stinky despite the wash.
 
2020-06-03 8:48:00 AM  

bughunter: flappy_penguin: im partial to bidets

Well, in the past two and a half months, I've trained my bowels to move right before I take a shower.


Have a coffee first thing. Caffeine gets things moving.

That's kind of like a bidet...

... if you set the showerhead to 'massage,' aim it for the back wall, turn around, bend over, and spread 'em.

/so clean I squeak when I walk


Big fan of just doing a handstand in the shower.
 
2020-06-03 8:48:37 AM  

tmyk: Butt wiping of the future would be amazing if I could just get some investors.

[Fark user image 425x519]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 10:56:04 AM  
How do blind people know when to stop wiping? Lick the paper?
 
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