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(German People)   Leave it to the Germans to find 32 ways to open a beer   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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20729 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2004 at 1:45 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

64 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-08-16 10:25:33 PM  
Sweet! And it's a Koelsch too! Mmmm.

/Lived in Bonn, near Cologne, eons ago.
2004-08-17 01:47:53 AM  
damn. i only know 31 and that's counting my prehensile penis.
2004-08-17 01:48:28 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

2004-08-17 01:48:31 AM  
Baby carriage. Sweet.
2004-08-17 01:53:23 AM  
There's only one, and it's with a lighter. Wusses.
2004-08-17 01:56:37 AM  
I just swallow the bottle whole and let my stomach do the rest
2004-08-17 01:58:23 AM  
Will stick to the bottle opener. Dont want to be spilling my precious BEER.
2004-08-17 01:59:03 AM  
....which while not proving, certainly does nothing to disprove my theory that GERMANS LOVE DAVID HASSELHOFF!

[image from too old to be available]
2004-08-17 02:01:45 AM  
Did that old lady actually rip that off with her teeth? Or was that rigged?
2004-08-17 02:02:51 AM  
I can do that sword one. Course, someone has to help me find my finger later.

And damnit, someone make the SbB link date right!! It's not April 17th.
2004-08-17 02:03:37 AM  
Figgured the Irish would have had this event on lockdown.
2004-08-17 02:04:39 AM  
It was rigged, dood.
Zel [TotalFark]
2004-08-17 02:04:43 AM  
probably doesnt hurt if shes old enough to have false teeth, eh?

and i have to try that pance-zipper one at a party.
2004-08-17 02:04:48 AM  
The Protong:

I visited Bonn two years ago- quite a quaint little college town. Hard to believe it was once the capital.
2004-08-17 02:05:47 AM  
18 is friggin awesome.
2004-08-17 02:10:55 AM  
With the teeth, nice... someday I'm going to marry that girl
2004-08-17 02:13:09 AM  
So how many methods involve gassing the can or putting it in the oven/microwave?
2004-08-17 02:16:59 AM  
Carry a lighter (normal size Bic). You will be prepared in the event you need to light a fire and you will have a beer opener wherever you go. Beer caps don't take that much leverage.
2004-08-17 02:19:11 AM  
Figgured the Irish would have had this event on lockdown.

Yeah, well we know about the Irish. We know ALL about them here.
2004-08-17 02:24:42 AM  
Yeah, but look at all the beer they wasted. The only way to open a beer is a way in which you don't waste any.

/Kstritzer is my god.
2004-08-17 02:25:43 AM  
Stupid non-German character excepting Fark. That's supposed to say:

/K(o-ulmaut)stritzer is my God.
2004-08-17 02:31:57 AM  
What is up with that uhhh... person? in the personals. I knew a guy that looked like her, but he was in a car accident.
2004-08-17 02:38:33 AM  
I prefer the double bottle method. Just make sure the caps still on the other one first.
2004-08-17 02:46:34 AM  
Hoo-doggies! Will the Germans ever quit cracking me up?

As long as one of the methods involves someone being dispatched to fix someone else's cable while her friend is over to use the shower, we're in good shape.

2004-08-17 02:48:05 AM  
this RULES. Koelsch beer is oh-so-good. pick yourself up a few litres the next time you are in Koln.
2004-08-17 02:49:04 AM  
GIS for open beer

[image from too old to be available]

That's one handy baby.
2004-08-17 02:50:20 AM  
I met a guy that would open bottles with his teeth, he was handy when I lost my keys that had the opener on it. Which is a rarity... but it looked like there was maybe 18 or so different ways, many of those were just a variation of finding an edge and hitting the top of the bottle...

//not drunk
2004-08-17 03:34:30 AM  
Fru:h Ko:lsch! Fru:h Ko:lsch! Fru:h Ko:lsch!

/drunken umlaut
2004-08-17 03:40:05 AM  
32 ways to open a beer, and none of them involve scat pr0n.

I'm impressed.
2004-08-17 03:54:46 AM  
They'll have plenty of time to sit around drinking beer in those big vacant American Army bases in a year or so. Speaking of Gott und der Welt and hoping France doesn't try for payback.
2004-08-17 03:58:53 AM  
On a porta-potty door handle? That's just plain nasty.
2004-08-17 04:21:30 AM  
I can't believe that old lady managed to pull it off with her teeth, perhaps she has dentures?
2004-08-17 04:24:27 AM  
oo, 32 ways to open a beer and 32 posts, spooky!
2004-08-17 04:31:52 AM  
woo, my second green-lighted link!

and my favorite was the guy with the sword...
2004-08-17 04:48:09 AM  
I use my lighter.
2004-08-17 05:42:40 AM  
how do you do it with a lighter? is it a zippo thing?

you have to wonder about someone who knows how to open a beer with his seatbelt... especially on the autobahn
2004-08-17 05:54:09 AM  
how do you do it with a lighter? is it a zippo thing?

No, just prise the lid off using any disposable plastic lighter as a lever.
2004-08-17 06:16:49 AM  
Guess she never got her free Guinness bottle opener then.
2004-08-17 06:30:06 AM  
Guess she never got her free Guinness bottle opener then.

She did, but I intercepted her mail...

[image from too old to be available]
2004-08-17 07:48:04 AM  
Farking hilarious. Yeah, too many were prybar hacks, and I don't know if I'd have drank that beer after jamming it under some of those surfaces.

Oh... who am I kidding.
2004-08-17 08:36:55 AM  
They forgot the one where you put one bottle-cap edge under the other, then kick the bottom one up so the cap flies off the other.

Wow, that was a bad explanation...
2004-08-17 08:48:06 AM  
First off, koelsch beer is piss- ask anyone outside of Rheinland and they'll confirm it. Try Bavarian beer like Augustiner, it's much better.
Also, they forgot one of my favorite ways to open a beer- with another beer. It's easy and you don't spill anything if you're careful. Also neat- roll up a magazine tightly, bend it and use the corner to open the beer. Works like a charm.
2004-08-17 08:51:09 AM  
i usually place the cap edge on a case of beer, smoothly grab around it, close my hand gently without hurting myself or the bottle and zingo...! here we go.

Reissdorf is better Ko:lsch, though.

/it hurts to see the nice umlauts hurt so much...
2004-08-17 09:06:14 AM  
In other news - looks like we're bringing home the troops from Germany. Germans will have to spend time defending themselves. dang, beteiligtes sein rber !
2004-08-17 09:30:56 AM  
So, 29 ways to make it to my baby's door, and 32 ways to open a beer. Priorities seem in order to me!
2004-08-17 09:42:27 AM  
2004-04-28 03:35:20 PM Bung_Howdy

Headline: Leave it to Germans to.....

OK, I'll bite. What's the reference mean? Is it because:
*They view a lot of pr0n?
*They are smarter?
*They are Nazi's?
*It's Bush's fault?
*Clinton got a blow job?
*Submitter's "got nuthin"?
Thanks in advance for your definitive response-
*confused farker

I miss the Bungster.
2004-08-17 09:46:27 AM  
My German-born great uncle has a necklace with a bottle opener on it. He goes nowhere without it.

I have one on my key-chain.
2004-08-17 09:58:09 AM  
Good to know that if I ever have a sword handy I can open up a beer or a can of whoop ass anytime necessary.
2004-08-17 09:59:06 AM  
I remember my dad opening steel beer cans with a can opener...
Then biatching that Falstaff was bitter.
Maybe it was that steely aftertaste Dad.

/did I say Falstaff?
//showin' my age...
2004-08-17 10:20:17 AM  
While amusing, 30 of them were basically "find an edge on something", 1 was "use a drill" (or what I'm assuming was a drill), and 1 was "use a sword" (I couldn't tell from that if he was just using it as another edge or if he actually chopped something off of the bottle).
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