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(Boing Boing)   "All you need to know about cat restraint is 'squish that cat'"   (boingboing.net) divider line
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2341 clicks; posted to D'awww » and Geek » on 02 Jun 2020 at 3:51 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



45 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Xai [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2020-06-02 1:31:57 PM  
I love Mr Pirate, he's the best.
 
2020-06-02 3:19:19 PM  
Heck, that's all you need to know about cats at all, ever. Except maybe "microwave".
 
2020-06-02 3:20:26 PM  
Love this video
 
2020-06-02 3:58:23 PM  
Don't forget to dress appropriately:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-02 4:04:03 PM  
Based on my experience, I can only assume Claudia in on valium.
 
2020-06-02 4:07:53 PM  
I have one cat who INSISTS on being carried around. He will run to a farking spot in the living room, throw himself down, and refuse to get up until I pick him up. He will "Meh" at me the whole time, too. Got another who's fine, once  you get her up and flipped over onto her back. A third who will go limpet when picked up, so you need to support her, or she'll melt out of your arms... A fourth who likes it as long as she can stand on my feet, and I hold her butt. A fifth who wants to go over the shoulder, superman-style, and will chitter and make sounds, because she's happy (even the whines are through purring)

Gattos have to be conditioned to proper handling. Squishing helps, for things like meds, but those mofos REMEMBER if you give them something they dislike. Dresden will run if I'm ever wearing a pair of black sandals... because that's what I wore when I took him for his dental surgery. But tennis shoes? whatever.
 
2020-06-02 4:14:13 PM  
The clothespin trick used by vets is amazing.

/DNRTFA, but I'm clearly off target
 
2020-06-02 4:14:32 PM  
Awww.... now I want a shoulder cat.
 
2020-06-02 4:28:50 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-02 4:33:30 PM  
If there was ever a definition of "boingboing content," this is it.
 
2020-06-02 4:44:51 PM  

Snapper Carr: [Fark user image image 500x376]


Reminds me of a cat I fostered for most of last year. She loved to sit in my lap but would turn into a viscous beast if you tried to touch her belly or pick her up. It made trips to the vet quite interesting.  I'm just happy she has a home now.
 
2020-06-02 4:45:34 PM  

bobug: Squishing helps, for things like meds, but those mofos REMEMBER if you give them something they dislike.


They absolutely do. It's the beginning of the month so it's flea treatment time again.
The boys are fairly easy to do. You just distract them while they're busy eating.

Frankie is a clever girl - ever since I took the tubes out of the package and put them on the table so I'd remember, she has been incredibly wary. She's no fool either. I even put hers back into the cupboard so it isn't lying around anymore. And she still knows. You can put down all the treats you want - if she suspects something's up, she won't go near them. She knows the crinkle of the wrapping they come in, the shape of the tubes, I swear she can even hear the barely audible pop from opening the cap of the tube.
As even if she's distracted and I manage to sneak up on her, the second I start parting the fur on the back of her neck - she knows what's coming, and she's off under the most inaccessible bed spot she can find.
I'll get her eventually. I always do. Her spider-sense will only prevail so long.
 
2020-06-02 5:25:15 PM  

Satampra Zeiros: bobug: Squishing helps, for things like meds, but those mofos REMEMBER if you give them something they dislike.

They absolutely do. It's the beginning of the month so it's flea treatment time again.
The boys are fairly easy to do. You just distract them while they're busy eating.

Frankie is a clever girl - ever since I took the tubes out of the package and put them on the table so I'd remember, she has been incredibly wary. She's no fool either. I even put hers back into the cupboard so it isn't lying around anymore. And she still knows. You can put down all the treats you want - if she suspects something's up, she won't go near them. She knows the crinkle of the wrapping they come in, the shape of the tubes, I swear she can even hear the barely audible pop from opening the cap of the tube.
As even if she's distracted and I manage to sneak up on her, the second I start parting the fur on the back of her neck - she knows what's coming, and she's off under the most inaccessible bed spot she can find.
I'll get her eventually. I always do. Her spider-sense will only prevail so long.


Oh, yes. I keep them in the bathroom. When I get them out, I do it while I am showering, to cover the sound, and don't open it until I am ready. Dresden and Ushi would bolt, so I get them at random times. They don't have a predictable pattern. But, if I let on? Gattos be diggin' to China.
 
2020-06-02 5:35:52 PM  

WhackingDay: Awww.... now I want a shoulder cat.


You think that, until you have a cat that loves it so much that they'll jump up onto you the moment you bend forward, before you're able to actually get a hold of them.
Why yes Wasim, I'm looking at you...
/still loves the guy
 
2020-06-02 5:36:38 PM  

bobug: Got another who's fine, once  you get her up and flipped over onto her back.


That's strange, I never met a cat that liked being carried upside down. I used to try to carry my cat like that when I was younger until I realized she didn't like it, then I switched to carrying her by making a platform with my hand for her paws and she would be much more cooperative. She'd still usually want down after a couple minutes, pretty much none of my family's cats liked being carried all that much, but she wouldn't raise as much of a fuss.
 
2020-06-02 5:43:22 PM  

envirovore: WhackingDay: Awww.... now I want a shoulder cat.

You think that, until you have a cat that loves it so much that they'll jump up onto you the moment you bend forward, before you're able to actually get a hold of them.
Why yes Wasim, I'm looking at you...
/still loves the guy


CatBuk4 is a shoulder cat. Unless you bend too far, then he's a stand on your back with his ass against your head for 30mins cat.
 
2020-06-02 5:45:28 PM  

LurkerSupreme: bobug: Got another who's fine, once  you get her up and flipped over onto her back.

That's strange, I never met a cat that liked being carried upside down. I used to try to carry my cat like that when I was younger until I realized she didn't like it, then I switched to carrying her by making a platform with my hand for her paws and she would be much more cooperative. She'd still usually want down after a couple minutes, pretty much none of my family's cats liked being carried all that much, but she wouldn't raise as much of a fuss.


I have two fatties (20-25lb), once they are up that size they tended to prefer to be carried like a baby.  As another poster said, they tend to melt out of your arms otherwise.

/they are brothers, just turned 6 yo yesterday.
//Momma cat was a 6 lb trailer park slit cat.
///Pretty sure she was banging a Maine Coone (king of trailer park) stray or something.
 
2020-06-02 5:49:27 PM  

Lance Robdon: Reminds me of a cat I fostered for most of last year. She loved to sit in my lap but would turn into a viscous beast if you tried to touch her belly or pick her up


i.imgur.comView Full Size


I'm very fluent in dog body language but I know just enough about cat body language to avoid them unless they do that head rub thing.
 
2020-06-02 5:51:20 PM  

LurkerSupreme: bobug: Got another who's fine, once  you get her up and flipped over onto her back.

That's strange, I never met a cat that liked being carried upside down. I used to try to carry my cat like that when I was younger until I realized she didn't like it, then I switched to carrying her by making a platform with my hand for her paws and she would be much more cooperative. She'd still usually want down after a couple minutes, pretty much none of my family's cats liked being carried all that much, but she wouldn't raise as much of a fuss.


Dresden INSISTS I carry him like a baby, on his back, and rub his belly. When I had stomach surgery, he got really angry and was hitting Mr. Bobug. So, Mr. Bobug picked Dres up, held him against me, and let me rub his belly. And he stopped hitting Mr. Bobug :) If I pick Dres up with his feet on my hand, he throws himself backwards until he is on his back..  because he knows I will catch him.

He isn't fond of Mr. Bobug doing it, if I am not there. Major Mess? She loves us rubbing her belly and carrying her around, but is annoying until she is in position :)
 
2020-06-02 6:01:52 PM  
All of mine love belly rubs and physical contact in general. They are very friendly cuddly cats. And not just with me. Not sure how much is nature, nurture or both.
Frankie doesn't really like being picked up but she's gotten much better over the few years I've had her. I don't think it's so much the actual physical component of being picked up that annoys her - it's more the fact that typically if I'm picking her up then I am removing her from some place I would prefer she was not exploring. Like back into the confines of the patio.
Same thing with Spencer. If I start carrying him.home when I'm bringing him in for the night he'll act all sweet and gooey because he thinks if he acts cute I'll let him go exploring instead of going to bed. As soon as he realized his wiles are failing to work, he starts to get squirmy.
 
2020-06-02 6:12:54 PM  

Bukharin: envirovore: WhackingDay: Awww.... now I want a shoulder cat.

You think that, until you have a cat that loves it so much that they'll jump up onto you the moment you bend forward, before you're able to actually get a hold of them.
Why yes Wasim, I'm looking at you...
/still loves the guy

CatBuk4 is a shoulder cat. Unless you bend too far, then he's a stand on your back with his ass against your head for 30mins cat.


That's Wasim as well. He just straight up climbs up and will stand on your shoulders, bent over or not.
Our Finnegan does this as well.
 
2020-06-02 6:49:17 PM  

Lance Robdon: She loved to sit in my lap but would turn into a viscous beast if you tried to touch her belly or pick her up


I think you mean vicious, but with a cat you never can tell.
 
2020-06-02 7:16:45 PM  
Too soon to talk about pussy control?
 
2020-06-02 7:27:33 PM  

Fano: Too soon to talk about pussy control?


Is this you?
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-02 7:46:47 PM  
That "football carry" is a good way to get a perforated kidney...
 
2020-06-02 8:23:45 PM  

LoneVVolf: That "football carry" is a good way to get a perforated kidney...


We call them Speed Holes. They get a bit of air into the kidney and make it operate more efficiently.
 
2020-06-02 8:34:34 PM  
i.gifer.comView Full Size


Tell her you love animals, especially ones needing lots of care, that you care for the environment, and talk about whatever is the left-wing political hot topic of the day....
 
2020-06-02 8:42:52 PM  
The second cat was all, I DGAF what you want, I WANT TO BE ON YOUR SHOULDER!!!
 
2020-06-02 8:57:20 PM  
Hey, Adora.
 
2020-06-02 9:10:52 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size

/dnrtfa
 
2020-06-02 9:13:04 PM  
Well.  It'll be a day or two before she talks to me again. She's busy sulking in a cat tree now. Okay now if those thunder storms would roll in around now so my little wanderer cat will maybe come home on his own....
 
2020-06-02 10:42:28 PM  
Very old but applicable

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 3:54:08 AM  
I've owned a number of ornery cats.  The last one, Boojum (it was gonna be Snark, but some snarks are boojums) had TWO red stickers on his vet chart.  At the vet who uses one red sticker for "bad cats."  25 lbs of razor and fur at his fighting weight.  Neighborhood alpha for a decade after he was neutered.

Boojum was a sweet kitty.  When he wanted to be.  Otherwise, don't fark with him or he will tear your shiat up.

Couple of tips.

1) Leave the cat carrier out, with the door open.  And a blankie inside.  And maybe a toy or two, or one of your stinky tee-shirts... whatever makes him feel at home.  Let him make it his.

2) Take your cat for a ride in the car frequently.  Don't make the car mean he's headed to the vet.  Perch the car carrier up high so the cat can see the horizon out the window and they actually may enjoy the ride.  Avoid too much wind.  Same goes for picking him up... don't make every encounter mean bath or pill.  Pick him up and put him in the comfy chair just for the hell of it.

3) When you gotta grab him, you gotta be quick, and you gotta be cool.  Don't telegraph it by acting unusually.  Just walk up like you're going about your business.  Then, without fanfare, simultaneously grab the scruff with one hand, and both hind feet with the other.  If you miss the legs, then you may get a second chance - make sure to be quick.  Don't miss the scruff - if you miss the scruff you've blown it... all you're going to have access to after that is 20 claws and two rows of teeth.

DO NOT LIFT BY THE SCRUFF.  After grabbing the hind feet, tuck them into his ass and lift from there.  Do not let go of either end, keep his front end held up, spine erect, and front claws out away from you.  In this posture you can carry him to wherever you need to go - carrier, tub, door, whatever.  If you have to stuff him into a tiny carrier, do it head first even though feet first is easier.  Think about what's gonna happen when you let go...

4) If he sinks claws or teeth into you, suck it up and hold still.  Suppress the reflex to pull away -- that's how you get the worst shreds.  Talk calmly to the cat in a quiet high pitched voice until it relaxes enough to detach from your flesh.

Best tip of all: learn cat language.  Eye contact, body language, tail position, ear position, teeth exposure... they all mean something.  Learn it, read it, use it.
 
2020-06-03 4:10:48 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 5:21:59 AM  
Cat held upside down? Guilty as charged, but for a very good reason.

Long ago I had a female cat called Hussy, she turned out to be a very playful and vocal cat. My favourite qualities in a cat, because you can have fun meowing at them in a kind of conversation.

Sometimes though she would bite or claw a bit too hard for my liking. So every time she did this, I would suddenly grab her, flip her onto her back very quickly, and lightly tap her repeatedly on the nose while looking into her eyes and say "No, no, no!" for a couple of seconds, then let her go.

Nothing that would hurt her, but only to give her a shock.

It worked- after a while, she never bit or scratched me too hard ever again.

I remember the kind of play she loved the most- me throwing a ping pong ball into various parts of the room, and she would chase and bat it to her heart's content.

I miss that cat.
 
2020-06-03 5:24:15 AM  
Okay subby, did that...  What now?

baileigh.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 6:28:38 AM  

Snapper Carr: [Fark user image 500x376]


The answer to that question is. I learned that you, cat, deserve a one way trip to the local animal shelter. If you are going to fark with the devil it's your own fault.
 
2020-06-03 8:37:09 AM  

bobug: Satampra Zeiros: bobug: Squishing helps, for things like meds, but those mofos REMEMBER if you give them something they dislike.

They absolutely do. It's the beginning of the month so it's flea treatment time again.
The boys are fairly easy to do. You just distract them while they're busy eating.

Frankie is a clever girl - ever since I took the tubes out of the package and put them on the table so I'd remember, she has been incredibly wary. She's no fool either. I even put hers back into the cupboard so it isn't lying around anymore. And she still knows. You can put down all the treats you want - if she suspects something's up, she won't go near them. She knows the crinkle of the wrapping they come in, the shape of the tubes, I swear she can even hear the barely audible pop from opening the cap of the tube.
As even if she's distracted and I manage to sneak up on her, the second I start parting the fur on the back of her neck - she knows what's coming, and she's off under the most inaccessible bed spot she can find.
I'll get her eventually. I always do. Her spider-sense will only prevail so long.

Oh, yes. I keep them in the bathroom. When I get them out, I do it while I am showering, to cover the sound, and don't open it until I am ready. Dresden and Ushi would bolt, so I get them at random times. They don't have a predictable pattern. But, if I let on? Gattos be diggin' to China.


I used to have a cat with epilepsy.  She'd need pills twice a day.  She knew, that before she got wet food, she'd need a pill (small, like a birth control pill, cut in half - what a PITA cutting those!).  She'd jump onto the kitchen counter (liked water from the faucet), and sit there, waiting patiently.  Once I got the pill out of the bottle, she just tip her head back, open her mouth, and I'd drop the pill in - then hand her the bowl with wet food.  Was a dream, but took months of training.  Very patient, never a harsh word or sound of frustration on my side.  Went through quite a few half-pills spit out until she got the hang of it.

Any of my other cats who randomly needed meds, I'd wait until they were asleep, then approach casually, pet/rub their heads, get my fingers between their jaw locks by their ears, prop their mouths open, and drop in pill.  They didn't like it, but they were usually too comatose to complain much.
 
2020-06-03 8:48:06 AM  

Ixnay on the ottenray: I used to have a cat with epilepsy.  She'd need pills twice a day.  She knew, that before she got wet food, she'd need a pill (small, like a birth control pill, cut in half - what a PITA cutting those!).  She'd jump onto the kitchen counter (liked water from the faucet), and sit there, waiting patiently.  Once I got the pill out of the bottle, she just tip her head back, open her mouth, and I'd drop the pill in - then hand her the bowl with wet food.  Was a dream, but took months of training.  Very patient, never a harsh word or sound of frustration on my side.  Went through quite a few half-pills spit out until she got the hang of it.

Any of my other cats who randomly needed meds, I'd wait until they were asleep, then approach casually, pet/rub their heads, get my fingers between their jaw locks by their ears, prop their mouths open, and drop in pill.  They didn't like it, but they were usually too comatose to complain much.


*nod* If you need to chop small pills up again... there's a pill cutter at the local pharmacy - You put your pill in and wedge it into the "V", and then close the top, which has a blade in it. They're pretty awesome.

Dresden gets his fear honestly... Poor fella had horrible teeth - at age 4, we had to have most of them removed :( (Vet and I were doing what we could to save them - cleaning, scaling, etc.) And he had a rough recovery. Five minutes after I flea med them, they're right back, slutting all over me. :)
 
2020-06-03 9:13:18 AM  

bobug: Ixnay on the ottenray: I used to have a cat with epilepsy.  She'd need pills twice a day.  She knew, that before she got wet food, she'd need a pill (small, like a birth control pill, cut in half - what a PITA cutting those!).  She'd jump onto the kitchen counter (liked water from the faucet), and sit there, waiting patiently.  Once I got the pill out of the bottle, she just tip her head back, open her mouth, and I'd drop the pill in - then hand her the bowl with wet food.  Was a dream, but took months of training.  Very patient, never a harsh word or sound of frustration on my side.  Went through quite a few half-pills spit out until she got the hang of it.

Any of my other cats who randomly needed meds, I'd wait until they were asleep, then approach casually, pet/rub their heads, get my fingers between their jaw locks by their ears, prop their mouths open, and drop in pill.  They didn't like it, but they were usually too comatose to complain much.

*nod* If you need to chop small pills up again... there's a pill cutter at the local pharmacy - You put your pill in and wedge it into the "V", and then close the top, which has a blade in it. They're pretty awesome.

Dresden gets his fear honestly... Poor fella had horrible teeth - at age 4, we had to have most of them removed :( (Vet and I were doing what we could to save them - cleaning, scaling, etc.) And he had a rough recovery. Five minutes after I flea med them, they're right back, slutting all over me. :)


Thanks for the advice.  I did have one of those, but this was the early 80's, and no A/C in the house.  I'd have to freeze the pills to be able to chop them without disintegrating them.  No problems rest of year.

Lost my last two cats a couple years ago - still not ready for new ones (I don't want the new ones to feel like replacements - they deserve their own pure love).  Had them for 23 and 21 years.  Got to the point at about age 15, that I worked out meds with the vet to be liquids.  Again while sleeping, get them half-awake for a super quick squirt in the side of the mouth, with meds mixed with tuna can juice - they thought it was a treat.

My two buggers - Silk (orange) was 23, Ce'Nedra (tortie) was 21.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-03 9:34:23 AM  

Ixnay on the ottenray: bobug: Ixnay on the ottenray: I used to have a cat with epilepsy.  She'd need pills twice a day.  She knew, that before she got wet food, she'd need a pill (small, like a birth control pill, cut in half - what a PITA cutting those!).  She'd jump onto the kitchen counter (liked water from the faucet), and sit there, waiting patiently.  Once I got the pill out of the bottle, she just tip her head back, open her mouth, and I'd drop the pill in - then hand her the bowl with wet food.  Was a dream, but took months of training.  Very patient, never a harsh word or sound of frustration on my side.  Went through quite a few half-pills spit out until she got the hang of it.

Any of my other cats who randomly needed meds, I'd wait until they were asleep, then approach casually, pet/rub their heads, get my fingers between their jaw locks by their ears, prop their mouths open, and drop in pill.  They didn't like it, but they were usually too comatose to complain much.

*nod* If you need to chop small pills up again... there's a pill cutter at the local pharmacy - You put your pill in and wedge it into the "V", and then close the top, which has a blade in it. They're pretty awesome.

Dresden gets his fear honestly... Poor fella had horrible teeth - at age 4, we had to have most of them removed :( (Vet and I were doing what we could to save them - cleaning, scaling, etc.) And he had a rough recovery. Five minutes after I flea med them, they're right back, slutting all over me. :)

Thanks for the advice.  I did have one of those, but this was the early 80's, and no A/C in the house.  I'd have to freeze the pills to be able to chop them without disintegrating them.  No problems rest of year.

Lost my last two cats a couple years ago - still not ready for new ones (I don't want the new ones to feel like replacements - they deserve their own pure love).  Had them for 23 and 21 years.  Got to the point at about age 15, that I worked out meds with the vet to be liquids.  Again while sl ...


:( I am so sorry for your losses. I still miss my Ninja. Had him 18 1/2 years. Then Aria - 15, Ratbat (I got her when she was 13, and had her 5 years), Little shiat (kidneys... only lived 3 1/2), Max (also kidneys - 9 years. We have the Cat5, and I wasn't looking for any of them... I thought I'd never be able to have another black cat after Ninja... We have 2 - Dresden, who found me while I was at a street fair (a no kill shelter had a bunch of animals in crates... I picked Dres up, because he looked so much like my Ninja... He flopped onto his back and put his head on my shoulder, and went to sleep. I knew he was my baby. Ushi... I went to Petsmart for some cat therapy, while I was in OH for 2 months, as my grandfather slowly died. Every day in the hospital, keeping positive, on top of treatments, and talking to him, while working full time... I was struggling, without my babies. And I found this antisocial little cow cow, who reminded me of Aria, but more fearful, and she became a baby :) And they're all their own kitties. Different likes and dislikes, different sounds (oh, the sounds. I miss Ninja's "Meep. Meep Eep" whenever I walked in the door.)

Sorry, sent me down memory lane, you did :)
 
2020-06-03 9:48:57 AM  

bobug: I

Sorry, sent me down memory lane, you did :)

I love your memory lane - such happy thoughts.  Silk was in a garbage container - I tossed in a bag, he jumped out into my arms - about six weeks old, covered in trash and fleas.  Golden eyes and a purr like a train.  Ce'Nedra was a rescue - the rescue place was a pit, she was alone and scared in her cage.  Took her out, and she crawled into my sweater - wouldn't come out, had to go home with her!  ;-)

All of my other ones picked me too.  I swear, those ones are the bestest ones!!
 
2020-06-03 1:05:59 PM  
Pinky the Cat in HD
Youtube PY3_1pV4bgc
 
2020-06-03 3:13:02 PM  
This guy is the spittin' image of Alfred E Neuman from MAD magazine.
 
2020-06-03 10:22:25 PM  
*sighs* I feel like the worst cat dad ever.
Just had to cut a big mat out of one of my kitties sides. I've been trying to get at it with all the brushes I have the last two weeks but he just won't stand for any kind of grooming. Tried rewarding with treats and everything. I'd hoped I could avoid having to cut it but it was beyond brush ability to remove. Why can't he be like my other two floofies who beg for brushes as soon as they see me bring them out.
Fark.
 
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