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(Mirror.co.uk)   Grown adult hasn't yet grasped the concept of candles   (mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Candle, Charlotte Heckermann, sister Ami Heckermann, Beeswax, 18-year-old Ami, Paraffin, nursery teacher, Candles  
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8637 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2020 at 9:34 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



115 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-05-30 7:18:48 AM  
Grown adult hasn't yet grasped the concept of tabloids.
 
2020-05-30 7:56:26 AM  
The only reason to click the link is to see an airhead blonde.
 
2020-05-30 8:00:34 AM  
I honestly had a moment where I thought this was another story about Trump.
 
2020-05-30 8:06:12 AM  

SurfaceTension: I honestly had a moment where I thought this was another story about Trump.


This.
 
2020-05-30 9:01:34 AM  
It seems to me, she lives her life like some sort of object in a flow of air....
 
2020-05-30 9:33:18 AM  
The real story here for me is that she is pissed about having to shell out two bits for another candle.

/Oh, right--this is across the pond.  Twenty pence, guv'nor.
 
2020-05-30 9:37:05 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-30 9:37:20 AM  

Sachlpch: The only reason to click the link is to see an airhead blonde.


She's perfect for a position in the Trump administration.  He loves dumb blondes.
 
2020-05-30 9:38:47 AM  
Given the headline, I was expecting the last paragraph of the article being an admonishment from a surgeon to never use anything without a flared base.
 
2020-05-30 9:42:00 AM  
Considering most of the readers of the Mirror welcome the solution to a mystery that has plagued them also for decades.
 
2020-05-30 9:42:57 AM  
Lol at half of the p0sters with chapped ass TDS.
 
2020-05-30 9:43:50 AM  
Once again, FARK has introduced me to a level of stupid that I was previously unaware existed.
 
2020-05-30 9:45:53 AM  

penetrating_virga: Lol at half of the p0sters with chapped ass TDS.


You'll get over it, snowflake.
 
2020-05-30 9:46:41 AM  
Light candle, wax disappears, can't explain that
 
2020-05-30 9:48:07 AM  
Wait until she hears what happened to all that food she ate.
 
2020-05-30 9:50:25 AM  
Oh, she burned it. That's not where I expected the candle to disappear to.
 
2020-05-30 9:51:39 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-30 9:52:34 AM  

lycanth: Once again, FARK has introduced me to a level of stupid that I was previously unaware existed.


And then there's the idiot in the article too!
 
2020-05-30 9:53:45 AM  
And she didn't have blonde roots.  WTF!
 
2020-05-30 9:54:47 AM  

Sachlpch: The only reason to click the link is to see an airhead blonde.


Who is cute and stupid.

That is a nice combo, if you're not looking for a wife.
 
2020-05-30 9:57:21 AM  
Well she should never be allowed to use fire again.
 
2020-05-30 9:57:49 AM  
My brother was telling me about a time he and his wife went shopping and she bought one of those lamps that turn on when you touch it. As soon as they got back to their car, she started to open the box. When my brother asked her what she was doing, she said she wanted to try it out. He pointed out that it would need to be plugged in and she said "No, it's a touch lamp." He just told her to stop and think about it for a second.
 
2020-05-30 9:58:27 AM  
She's English, so I'm going to assume she was drunk.
 
2020-05-30 9:59:59 AM  

NuclearPenguins: penetrating_virga: Lol at half of the p0sters with chapped ass TDS.

You'll get over it, snowflake.


Is that your go to insult? It's really getting old.

lol... snowflake. Welcome to 2002.
 
2020-05-30 10:00:18 AM  
I thought she used it for pain and pleasure.

Alas, turns out she got her education where Nigel Farage did.
 
2020-05-30 10:01:13 AM  
That's sweet.  Does playing "Got Your Nose!" still amaze her?  I hope that there are adults monitoring the nursery school kids to discourage their aggressively cruel sport of messing with her mind.
 
2020-05-30 10:04:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


F**king candles, how do they work?
 
2020-05-30 10:04:42 AM  
My wife used to make candles disappear.
Magically, they would reappear, butt scented.
 
2020-05-30 10:05:38 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


What's going on here?
 
2020-05-30 10:06:28 AM  
I came in here fully expecting that the "candle" would turn out to be a dildo bought at a weird craft fair.

The actual reason is somehow more baffling.
 
2020-05-30 10:08:08 AM  

LaChanz: My brother was telling me about a time he and his wife went shopping and she bought one of those lamps that turn on when you touch it. As soon as they got back to their car, she started to open the box. When my brother asked her what she was doing, she said she wanted to try it out. He pointed out that it would need to be plugged in and she said "No, it's a touch lamp." He just told her to stop and think about it for a second.


My ex-wife burned jiffypop she turns on the fire and just waits. So it just burned. LOL. OMG. I'm so glad that relationship didn't work .
 
2020-05-30 10:08:14 AM  
Really hope it's a garden plant nursery she's teaching at.
 
2020-05-30 10:09:29 AM  

abhorrent1: [Fark user image image 286x220]

What's going on here?


she DID use it as a dildo!
 
2020-05-30 10:15:15 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-30 10:16:17 AM  

lycanth: Once again, FARK has introduced me to a level of stupid that I was previously unaware existed.


Guess we should start a vaccine or mask thread for you then. Don't forget to bring popcorn.
 
2020-05-30 10:17:39 AM  

LaChanz: NuclearPenguins: penetrating_virga: Lol at half of the p0sters with chapped ass TDS.

You'll get over it, snowflake.

Is that your go to insult? It's really getting old.

lol... snowflake. Welcome to 2002.


Your timeline is way, way off gramps

Here's a nickel, go buy a loaf of bread
 
2020-05-30 10:20:08 AM  
Maybe she grew up with those damned fake tea candles with button batteries?
 
2020-05-30 10:20:24 AM  

kdawg7736: [i.pinimg.com image 552x414]


I saw a cookie flavor a few months back, and it was something like "moonlight".

WTF does moonlight taste like?
 
2020-05-30 10:22:14 AM  
Sounds like the two of them have a combustible relationship.
 
2020-05-30 10:23:10 AM  
How does something this stupid rise to the attention of a 'reporter' at an awful tabloid? Did someone call the paper? Trolling social media?
 
2020-05-30 10:26:41 AM  
She spent hours trying to figure it out until a light bulb went off in her head and she got pissed about that too.
 
2020-05-30 10:27:32 AM  

kdawg7736: [i.pinimg.com image 552x414]


You'll have to buy the beads to find out!
 
2020-05-30 10:28:45 AM  

WilderKWight: kdawg7736: [i.pinimg.com image 552x414]

I saw a cookie flavor a few months back, and it was something like "moonlight".

WTF does moonlight taste like?


A bland sunbeam.
 
2020-05-30 10:31:17 AM  

kdawg7736: [i.pinimg.com image 552x414]


Burnt steak, from what I hear.
 
2020-05-30 10:34:15 AM  
OK. So how is this even seen as anything anyone else would give a flying fark about, let alone be "news"?

I mean, was there a press release about a candle being used? Does this woman have her own press agent?

What was the conversation like in the Mirror's editorial room?

"Sir, we've got reports of mass rioting going on in Minnesota."

Editor: "Wait! There's this story that just came in about a woman who used up a candle. STOP EVERYTHING! Rewrite Page One!!!!"
 
2020-05-30 10:35:35 AM  
The Brits invented tabloids. For this they should be punished.
 
2020-05-30 10:36:12 AM  

kdawg7736: [i.pinimg.com image 552x414]


I'm guessing sweaty rectum and black licorice
 
2020-05-30 10:36:33 AM  
Mr Show - Josh Fenderman
Youtube O6fez3AHUzQ
 
2020-05-30 10:36:38 AM  

kdawg7736: [i.pinimg.com image 552x414]


Apparently when you bring stuff back inside after a space walk it smells burnt meat and welding.
 
2020-05-30 10:38:15 AM  
This one could get pregnant saving someone from hypothermia in July.
 
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