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(Reuters)   Oh great, now there are COVID monkeys   (reuters.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Attack, Uttar Pradesh, troop of monkeys, Attack!, Urdu, blood samples of patients, Indian Rebellion of 1857, Lucknow  
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2407 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2020 at 8:50 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-05-29 8:31:57 AM  
Don't judge me.
 
2020-05-29 8:51:21 AM  
Don't worry, they'll freeze to death in winter.
But it's India.
Oh sh*t, we're f*cked.
 
2020-05-29 8:52:55 AM  
I am going to go taunt them.
 
2020-05-29 8:53:33 AM  
Monkey... virus... running rampant.

Wait a second.

I think I've seen this movie.
 
2020-05-29 8:54:07 AM  
NO ONE TAUNT THEM!
 
2020-05-29 8:54:39 AM  
s1.ibtimes.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-29 8:55:09 AM  

Walker: Don't worry, they'll freeze to death in winter.
But it's India.
Oh sh*t, we're f*cked.


Wave after wave of Indian locusts.
 
2020-05-29 8:56:11 AM  
Covid monkey, you're the one
You make plague time lots of fun
Covid monkey, I'm awfully fond of you.
 
2020-05-29 8:58:15 AM  
Old news. Trumpanzees were released into the wild weeks ago.

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2020-05-29 9:02:10 AM  
It's spread in feces, so watch out for the poo flinging.
 
2020-05-29 9:02:28 AM  
This will end well.
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2020-05-29 9:02:37 AM  
Scouts have sure changed.  Our troop had no monkeys, probably because there were no blood samples nearby.  That, and the uniforms were hard to come by.
 
2020-05-29 9:02:46 AM  
Here we come,
Coughing down the street,
We get the funniest looks from
Every Karen we meet.

Hey hey COVID Monkees,
People say we're infectious clowns
But we're too busy flinging
Our poo all around the town.
 
2020-05-29 9:07:45 AM  
Fun fact:  There was actually a Canadian version of the Monkees, but they didn't really catch on.

Peter Toque, Gravey Jones, Michael Timbits, and Milkbag Dolenz never really got their fair shake.
 
2020-05-29 9:15:33 AM  

dittybopper: Fun fact:  There was actually a Canadian version of the Monkees, but they didn't really catch on.

Peter Toque, Gravey Jones, Michael Timbits, and Milkbag Dolenz never really got their fair shake.


The Monk-ehs?
 
2020-05-29 9:16:18 AM  

dittybopper: Fun fact:  There was actually a Canadian version of the Monkees, but they didn't really catch on.

Peter Toque, Gravey Jones, Michael Timbits, and Milkbag Dolenz never really got their fair shake.


In my mind I can see the classic SCTV gang doing this spoof. Sort of like the Rutles...
 
2020-05-29 9:23:49 AM  
Why do the monkeys have all this Rage?
 
2020-05-29 9:25:01 AM  

SanityIsAFullTimeJob: dittybopper: Fun fact:  There was actually a Canadian version of the Monkees, but they didn't really catch on.

Peter Toque, Gravey Jones, Michael Timbits, and Milkbag Dolenz never really got their fair shake.

The Monk-ehs?


Damn I wish I had thought of that!
 
2020-05-29 9:28:15 AM  
Another reason religions are stupid.
 
rpm
2020-05-29 9:32:30 AM  
Do not taunt dynamiteplague monkey
 
2020-05-29 9:41:07 AM  
Is there anything monkeys cant do?

Brainstorm: Monkey NASCAR

Secondary Brainstorm: Bird Internet
 
2020-05-29 9:42:23 AM  
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And those apes want to speak to the manager.
 
rpm
2020-05-29 9:46:46 AM  

dothemath: Secondary Brainstorm: Bird Internet



Already been done.
 
2020-05-29 9:54:41 AM  
I would be feverishly writing a screenplay if the prospect of feral primates with a deadly virus running around the most populous country on earth wasn't too terrifying.
 
2020-05-29 10:12:51 AM  
"No evidence has been found that monkeys can contract the infection," Garg told Reuters.

That seems misinformed. Rhesus macaques are being infected for vaccine research in other countries. [src]
 
2020-05-29 11:20:22 AM  
Reuters, you really have lowered the bar on yourself here.

FTA "The virus is believed to have jumped from animals into people in a wildlife market in the Chinese city of Wuhan late last year."

While it is possible that the it was at the wet market, and then shifted north to infect there for a month and then came back. No, no that is not possible.

/ Maybe I should be relieved that Reuters went with "Believed to have," instead of speaking w/ authority on the topic.
// Can't find the epidemiologist report atm, that placed where the start of the epidemic happened at (iirc Hubei).
 
2020-05-29 11:47:48 AM  

Xzano: Reuters, you really have lowered the bar on yourself here.

FTA "The virus is believed to have jumped from animals into people in a wildlife market in the Chinese city of Wuhan late last year."

While it is possible that the it was at the wet market, and then shifted north to infect there for a month and then came back. No, no that is not possible.

/ Maybe I should be relieved that Reuters went with "Believed to have," instead of speaking w/ authority on the topic.
// Can't find the epidemiologist report atm, that placed where the start of the epidemic happened at (iirc in the rural area of Hubei).

FTFM, off to search for a better source of caffeine.

/ Preview button wins another round against me.
 
2020-05-29 11:52:19 AM  

T Baggins: "No evidence has been found that monkeys can contract the infection," Garg told Reuters.

That seems misinformed. Rhesus macaques are being infected for vaccine research in other countries. [src]


Approves:

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2020-05-29 12:36:20 PM  
This is definitely up there on my personal list of weird super-villainy.
 
2020-05-29 12:38:25 PM  
Thou shalt not covid thy neighbor's blood.
 
2020-05-29 1:30:35 PM  
I wanted to be first to say "Do not taunt the Covid Monkeys". But I suppose now I have to save it for Trumpers.

WARNING: The monkeys may have dynamite as well as Covid samples.
 
2020-05-29 1:31:21 PM  
Covid Monkeys. Can that be a new meme for Sovereign Stupids?
 
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