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(MLive.com)   "It is unclear how or why the woman was naked"   (mlive.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Jackson, Michigan, Jackson County, Michigan, naked woman, Constable, Jackson County Department of Transportation truck, Police, 31-year-old woman, Pickup truck  
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4877 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2020 at 3:35 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-05-28 11:15:28 PM  
That's pretty close. Tiny little place.
 
2020-05-29 1:30:32 AM  
I want to meet her.
 
2020-05-29 1:59:47 AM  
And they gives a mug shot of a police car?
 
2020-05-29 2:00:19 AM  
"The woman insisted she was not drunk but couldn't explain her nudity"

/Baby, if you ever wondered, wondered what became of me
 
2020-05-29 2:00:41 AM  
"Give us", damnit.
 
2020-05-29 2:03:34 AM  
I don't understand. Are they asking how she got naked, or how naked she was? To my knowledge, if you're naked, you can't really be more naked.
 
2020-05-29 2:26:28 AM  
Born that way?
 
2020-05-29 3:36:34 AM  
Madlibs?
 
2020-05-29 3:43:02 AM  
The "how" she was naked is easy: her clothes were removed from her body.
The "why" is likely easy to answer: maybe she wanted to be naked?
 
2020-05-29 3:43:09 AM  
The deer knows why.
 
2020-05-29 3:44:05 AM  
How seems pretty obvious.
 
2020-05-29 3:52:37 AM  
It is unclear how or why the woman was naked

How is it unclear how someone is naked?  I'm typing this butt-naked because I took my clothes off but in my defense I'm about to go to bed in a minute.
/Good luck everybody!
 
2020-05-29 3:57:00 AM  
Officers investigating the crash discovered security video at the JCDOT lot on Clark Lake Road that shows the naked woman approach the security gate, punch in random numbers and wait while the gate opened, Pittman said.
She then walked onto the lot, found a county-owned 2017 GMC Sierra that was unlocked with keys still inside and drove it away,


A security gate that opens when you just push random numbers, an unlocked vehicle with the keys in it. WTF?
 
2020-05-29 4:00:08 AM  
sounds like she was looking for a quick buck
 
2020-05-29 4:01:03 AM  
Picture of the woman.  She's hot but turns into a bat.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-29 4:16:25 AM  
We're pretty sure how and why are the same answer here.

dnrtfa
 
2020-05-29 4:18:58 AM  

Boojum2k: Officers investigating the crash discovered security video at the JCDOT lot on Clark Lake Road that shows the naked woman approach the security gate, punch in random numbers and wait while the gate opened, Pittman said.
She then walked onto the lot, found a county-owned 2017 GMC Sierra that was unlocked with keys still inside and drove it away,

A security gate that opens when you just push random numbers, an unlocked vehicle with the keys in it. WTF?


Totally believable.

/Also smart to wear the construction vest, now she can't be charged with being nude!
 
2020-05-29 4:33:43 AM  
hells bells, she wasn't nekkid at all.   she was wearing a safety vest and helmet.

I want to meet her even more now.
 
2020-05-29 4:49:07 AM  
Why is she naked anyway?
I know why she's naked: because she has no clothes on.
 
2020-05-29 4:50:06 AM  
So she knows how to party

The world needs more people who know how to party
 
2020-05-29 4:51:28 AM  
Is this the lootin' n' shootin' thread?
 
2020-05-29 4:52:19 AM  
But was she hot?
 
2020-05-29 4:53:47 AM  

Boojum2k: Officers investigating the crash discovered security video at the JCDOT lot on Clark Lake Road that shows the naked woman approach the security gate, punch in random numbers and wait while the gate opened, Pittman said.
She then walked onto the lot, found a county-owned 2017 GMC Sierra that was unlocked with keys still inside and drove it away,

A security gate that opens when you just push random numbers, an unlocked vehicle with the keys in it. WTF?


Well I know where I'm going this weekend!
 
2020-05-29 5:10:00 AM  
Pretty sure that's subby's mom. Last night she was only wearing chaps and a cowboy hat.
 
2020-05-29 5:29:33 AM  

cyberspacedout: I don't understand. Are they asking how she got naked, or how naked she was? To my knowledge, if you're naked, you can't really be more naked.


That's quitter talk. Here's a potato peeler!
 
2020-05-29 5:38:33 AM  
TFA-she said she'd been kicked out of a car.

It sounds like a Hooker whose date went bad.
 
2020-05-29 5:47:49 AM  
Who gets the deer?
 
2020-05-29 6:00:37 AM  
Sounds like she kinda knew what she was doing
 
2020-05-29 6:09:45 AM  
I've posted the story before. In a conversation about a then recent "naked woman" news story, a police Lieutenant said "I learned a long time ago, nothing good ever comes from a 'naked person' call."
 
2020-05-29 6:41:54 AM  
Needs helpful picture of what a woman wearing only an orange safety vest and hat might look like.
 
2020-05-29 6:54:06 AM  
She must have really hated that deer.
 
2020-05-29 7:02:47 AM  

cyberspacedout: I don't understand. Are they asking how she got naked, or how naked she was? To my knowledge, if you're naked, you can't really be more naked.


If you use your arms and hands to cover the naughty bits, are you less naked?

In other news, if you want to get into the JCDOT lot on Clarke Lake Road after hours, punching in random numbers will probably work.
 
2020-05-29 7:15:14 AM  

Erebus1954: Needs helpful picture of what a woman wearing only an orange safety vest and hat might look like.


Or a Smoking Gun type mugshot (which probably can be found).
 
2020-05-29 7:19:05 AM  

Resident Muslim: Boojum2k: Officers investigating the crash discovered security video at the JCDOT lot on Clark Lake Road that shows the naked woman approach the security gate, punch in random numbers and wait while the gate opened, Pittman said.
She then walked onto the lot, found a county-owned 2017 GMC Sierra that was unlocked with keys still inside and drove it away,

A security gate that opens when you just push random numbers, an unlocked vehicle with the keys in it. WTF?

Totally believable.

/Also smart to wear the construction vest, now she can't be charged with being nude!


The combo was '1234', just like my briefcase.
 
2020-05-29 7:20:57 AM  

Erebus1954: Needs helpful picture of what a woman wearing only an orange safety vest and hat might look like.


Probably safe for work
 
2020-05-29 7:27:53 AM  

dgf2099: Why is she naked anyway?
I know why she's naked: because she has no clothes on.


That's how, not why.
 
2020-05-29 7:42:07 AM  

PapermonkeyExpress: Resident Muslim: Boojum2k: Officers investigating the crash discovered security video at the JCDOT lot on Clark Lake Road that shows the naked woman approach the security gate, punch in random numbers and wait while the gate opened, Pittman said.
She then walked onto the lot, found a county-owned 2017 GMC Sierra that was unlocked with keys still inside and drove it away,

A security gate that opens when you just push random numbers, an unlocked vehicle with the keys in it. WTF?

Totally believable.

/Also smart to wear the construction vest, now she can't be charged with being nude!

The combo was '1234', just like my briefcase.


picclickimg.comView Full Size
i.ebayimg.comView Full Size
ae01.alicdn.comView Full Size
ak1.ostkcdn.comView Full Size

For the 395th time, combination locks on luggage and briefcases have 3 digits. 4 and 5 digit combinations aren't possible.

Luggage repairman for 30 years.
 
2020-05-29 7:53:07 AM  

Erebus1954: Needs helpful picture of what a woman wearing only an orange safety vest and hat might look like.


Fark user imageView Full Size

Kinda close
 
2020-05-29 7:54:08 AM  
That's pretty methhed up.
 
2020-05-29 7:58:16 AM  

This About That: "Give us", damnit.


I liked your original post better anyway, I read it in JarJar's voice.
 
2020-05-29 8:51:19 AM  
"It's unclear how or why the woman was naked, Pittman said, adding he believes drugs and suspected prostitution were involved. "

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-29 8:57:43 AM  
Someday in the future scientists will solve the age old mystery of how people get naked

Current theories from the Napoleon Township Police:
Magic
Witches
Putting more clothes on
Thanos
Sunspots
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-29 11:54:54 AM  
Do we need a Michigan tag now?
 
2020-05-29 11:55:16 AM  
ftfa: 'found a county-owned 2017 GMC Sierra that was unlocked with keys still inside and drove it away,'

Hopefully they keep track of the last employee to use each vehicle...

/  how did she know that code, & that a vehicle w/ keys would be left there?
 
2020-05-29 11:59:21 AM  
Don't care. Naked woman.
 
2020-05-29 12:10:29 PM  

ZMugg: PapermonkeyExpress: Resident Muslim: Boojum2k: Officers investigating the crash discovered security video at the JCDOT lot on Clark Lake Road that shows the naked woman approach the security gate, punch in random numbers and wait while the gate opened, Pittman said.
She then walked onto the lot, found a county-owned 2017 GMC Sierra that was unlocked with keys still inside and drove it away,

A security gate that opens when you just push random numbers, an unlocked vehicle with the keys in it. WTF?

Totally believable.

/Also smart to wear the construction vest, now she can't be charged with being nude!

The combo was '1234', just like my briefcase.

[picclickimg.com image 400x300][i.ebayimg.com image 300x225][ae01.alicdn.com image 800x800][ak1.ostkcdn.com image 850x509]
For the 395th time, combination locks on luggage and briefcases have 3 digits. 4 and 5 digit combinations aren't possible.

Luggage repairman for 30 years.


Well, technically briefcases have 6 digits, right?
:)
 
2020-05-29 12:38:35 PM  

Resident Muslim: Well, technically briefcases have 6 digits, right?


Double flip up hasp systems (picture #2) do. Single center lock systems have 3 digits. There are no 5 digit combinations.

Also: New zipper tab padlocks have 4 digit combinations. They are recent (the luggage repair business I worked for went belly up in 2010).
 
2020-05-29 1:19:26 PM  
Why does the how or why even matter? Free naked chick.
 
2020-05-29 3:06:39 PM  
If it hadn't been for that meddling deer, she'd have made a clean getaway.
 
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