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(Twitter)   Trump says we can't have mail-in voting because children "all over" raid people's mailboxes and steal the ballots in order to commit voter fraud. Makes perfect sense, President Hamberdler   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, shot  
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1786 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 May 2020 at 10:42 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-05-28 5:04:46 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2020-05-28 5:16:31 PM  
That takes me back. I remember the thrill of youth. Getting together with friends at 3pm on a weekday and following the mail truck. Committing election fraud cause we just didn't give a fark.  Trying to stay just out of sight for fear of getting caught. But sometimes you'd just jump right out in plain view of the letter carrier, snatch a ballot from a mailbox, daring her to do something about it. Fearless. Because we were men and we needed that civil servant to know it. We'd harvest one, two, sometimes three dozen ballots before we headed home to watch Batman: The Animated Series, play some NBA Jam and listen to The Chronic. Man I miss those times. Sometimes I sit up at night and wonder whatever happened to that crew. I mean, Snapple Joe Armstrong got sent to the pen for securities fraud last year. But what about the rest? Benny Hadoken? Sunny D Williams? Johnny Hydrox Pendergast? I'll never forget you guys. Wherever you are.
 
2020-05-28 5:17:01 PM  
The President is fact checked on his mail in voting tweets in real time and responds with a long rant which includes a strange claim that ballots aren't being sent to conservative communities

Oh FFS, it's a lie!  He's lying!  He's a farking liar who lies!  Call it what it is!!!
 
2020-05-28 5:24:54 PM  
"We had 7 elections for congress and they were all tied and we lost all 7 because they came and dropped a load of ballots..."

WTF is he talking about?
 
2020-05-28 5:32:53 PM  

OldRod: "We had 7 elections for congress and they were all tied and we lost all 7 because they came and dropped a load of ballots..."

WTF is he talking about?


Republicans losing elections.
 
2020-05-28 5:35:57 PM  
What teenager would even think to steal a ballot and try to submit it fraudulently?  If a teenager is raiding your mail, they're looking for drugs or money most likely.  Not election ballots!
 
2020-05-28 5:44:10 PM  
Dead Kennedys - Stealing People's Mail (Lyrics in Description Box)
Youtube CFwUifhsMbE
 
2020-05-28 5:44:52 PM  
Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-28 5:52:20 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

[Fark user image 850x400]


Those teenagers raiding your mailboxes are expert forgers too!
 
2020-05-28 6:59:57 PM  

OldRod: Bathia_Mapes: Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

[Fark user image 850x400]

Those teenagers raiding your mailboxes are expert forgers too!


This is true. Back when I was running with "The Pack" (we called ourselves "The Pack" btw, because we were like a bunch of lone wolves, all masculine and menacing), Benny Hadoken trained for 7 weeks as a master forger with this old guy who lived in the mid-century Modern house in the cul de sac. He was never the same after that, but he passed his skills on to us. Got to the point where we could forge an old lay's signature in 5 seconds flat with a blindfold on. We had hustle back then. Lucky-Jeans Lemaster told us we should use our forgery skills to do something else, like bank fraud or identity theft or some other white collar shiat, but we wanted to stay pure. We were ballot harvesters plain and simple.
 
2020-05-28 8:50:49 PM  
In over 15 years of mail-only voting here in Washington, never had a ballot stolen.
 
2020-05-28 8:54:32 PM  

OldRod: "We had 7 elections for congress and they were all tied and we lost all 7 because they came and dropped a load of ballots..."

WTF is he talking about?


media0.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-28 9:01:39 PM  
Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.
 
2020-05-28 9:17:37 PM  
Pfft, amateurs. I handed out ballots on Halloween instead of candy.

Got a ton of eggs thrown at my house, but it was totally worth it in the name of committing fraud!
 
2020-05-28 10:15:23 PM  

fusillade762: Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.


They mail them TO you
 
2020-05-28 10:23:42 PM  
Me and my buddies did a lot of stupid shiat as kids. Messing with the mail wasn't one of them. Of course back then, the houses had mail slots so the mail went in the door and you couldn't get at it.

And now, they have those little kiosk thingys wth multiple boxes and the mail is locked up in those too, so you can't get at them.

Of course a lot people take no chances and drop their mail in central collection boxes, which are strong and locked up tight so you can't get at them.

It's the rural folks that have to watch out. They all have those little mailboxes on poles that just anybody can get into but fortunately, being God-fearing conservative rural folk who cherish their heritage, nobody messes with those mailboxes.

Somehow though, today's kids will steal the mail. Somewhere. Somehow.
 
2020-05-28 10:23:43 PM  
Armed robbery of a USPS facility, which includes mailboxes, carries a 25 year sentence.
 
2020-05-28 10:34:09 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

[Fark user image 850x400]


"Failure to sing below will invalidate your ballot"?  Man, these gerrymandering tactics just get worse and worse.
 
2020-05-28 10:39:33 PM  

mr_a: fusillade762: Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.

They mail them TO you


Ah, okay.  So they're claiming kids will steal an unopened, not yet filled out ballot.
 
2020-05-28 10:44:43 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:

Acyn: The President is fact checked on his mail in voting tweets in real time and responds with a long rant which includes a strange claim that ballots aren't being sent to conservative communities https://t.co/vjpFXPiYY4


Then why is your biatchass campaigns telling people to vote "by mail?"
 
2020-05-28 10:47:05 PM  
Yeah generally most kids do try to stay away from actual felonies.

And the ones kids do commit are usually more 'fun' and actually rewarding as compared to election fraud.

In fact we have a huge problem with even convincing 18-29 year olds to vote. Period. And yet when these same people were teenagers they were risking prison time to commit risky election fraud for the same non-rewarding result?
 
2020-05-28 10:47:12 PM  

edmo: Me and my buddies did a lot of stupid shiat as kids. Messing with the mail wasn't one of them. Of course back then, the houses had mail slots so the mail went in the door and you couldn't get at it.

And now, they have those little kiosk thingys wth multiple boxes and the mail is locked up in those too, so you can't get at them.

Of course a lot people take no chances and drop their mail in central collection boxes, which are strong and locked up tight so you can't get at them.

It's the rural folks that have to watch out. They all have those little mailboxes on poles that just anybody can get into but fortunately, being God-fearing conservative rural folk who cherish their heritage, nobody messes with those mailboxes.

Somehow though, today's kids will steal the mail. Somewhere. Somehow.


Well, less "steal the mail" and more "put a firecracker in the mailbox and watch it blow."
 
2020-05-28 10:47:21 PM  
I get what he is saying. It's the same reason why the government won't mail your driver's license, social security card or stimulus check. Also why banks don't mail debit and credit cards.

/President Scooby Doo ladies and gentlemen
 
2020-05-28 10:47:27 PM  
HES ON TO US!!

<children scatter in all directions>
 
2020-05-28 10:48:54 PM  

baorao: I get what he is saying. It's the same reason why the government won't mail your driver's license, social security card or stimulus check. Also why banks don't mail debit and credit cards.

/President Scooby Doo ladies and gentlemen


Don't even get us started on medicines, those kids could be taking grandpa's "happy pills" and you'd never be the wiser. Or let's not forget expensive electronics don't get hand delivered by USPS workers either.
 
2020-05-28 10:50:18 PM  
mk0mailboss7qpwm15li.kinstacdn.comView Full Size


I usually go out during election season and play mailbox baseball to keep conservatives from voting.
 
2020-05-28 10:51:31 PM  
Of course.  It happens so often that no one bothers recording or otherwise documenting it.
 
2020-05-28 10:51:51 PM  
After his bizarro answer why wasn't the next question something like name the seven Congressional races that were all tied but the Republicans lot because of mail-in voting or name the conservative districts that did not get ballots.  Trump probably has no idea what ballot harvesting is but since so much of the harvesting in the US is done by immigrants, many undocumented,he figures that building the wall will stop ballot harvesting.
 
2020-05-28 10:51:52 PM  

baorao: I get what he is saying. It's the same reason why the government won't mail your driver's license, social security card or stimulus check. Also why banks don't mail debit and credit cards.

/President Scooby Doo ladies and gentlemen


Trump has no idea how normal people get mail.
 
2020-05-28 10:51:56 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

[Fark user image 850x400]


I've voted absentee in both WA and CA and they do the same thing.

/It ain't rocket science, people
 
2020-05-28 10:52:03 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

[Fark user image 850x400]


This.  One year I signed the wrong envelope, there are three voters in the house, they informed us a few days after turning it in.  Subsequently was able to fix it before election day.
 
2020-05-28 10:52:40 PM  
Only a special kind stupid is going to risk the felonies relating to forgery, mail fraud, and election fraud to add a couple votes to your side. They catch some every year. They are poor examples of humanity.
 
2020-05-28 10:53:39 PM  
I like the way he makes a claim, then says that there isn't anyway to confirm it
 
2020-05-28 10:54:23 PM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: Bathia_Mapes: Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

[Fark user image 850x400]

"Failure to sing below will invalidate your ballot"?  Man, these gerrymandering tactics just get worse and worse.


Also "envolope".  My scammer-fu senses are tingling if that's the ballot I get.  Or, it's just Oregon, I guess.
 
2020-05-28 10:54:44 PM  

fusillade762: mr_a: fusillade762: Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.

They mail them TO you

Ah, okay.  So they're claiming kids will steal an unopened, not yet filled out ballot.


Misdeliveries and lost mail happen, which is why ballots are mailed weeks early.  It doesn't matter how many replacement ballots get sent out; it's the matching signature on the return envelope that counts.
 
2020-05-28 10:56:16 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: fusillade762: mr_a: fusillade762: Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.

They mail them TO you

Ah, okay.  So they're claiming kids will steal an unopened, not yet filled out ballot.

Misdeliveries and lost mail happen, which is why ballots are mailed weeks early.  It doesn't matter how many replacement ballots get sent out; it's the matching signature on the return envelope that counts.


What are they matching the signature to?
 
2020-05-28 10:56:33 PM  
Back in the good old days we would pull the "Put a lit M80 in the mailbox" trick and watch the mailboxes turn into a smoking confetti machine.


🔥 🔥 🔥
 
2020-05-28 10:57:13 PM  
Hes right and if you havent beaten your kid today

/you havent beaten them wnough
 
2020-05-28 10:57:14 PM  
I noticed he used his "feel sorry for me (with tears in your eyes)" voice. That condescending asshole voice.
 
2020-05-28 10:57:41 PM  
How many times did Fred Trump Sr paddle Donnie's arse for stealing his nudie magazines out of the mail?
 
2020-05-28 10:57:55 PM  

baorao: I get what he is saying. It's the same reason why the government won't mail your driver's license, social security card or stimulus check. Also why banks don't mail debit and credit cards.

/President Scooby Doo ladies and gentlemen


Speaking of Scooby Doo, didn't the antagonist always turn out to be an old white guy?
 
2020-05-28 10:58:05 PM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: Bathia_Mapes: Even if someone did do this in Oregon it wouldn't work. Voters are required to sign the external ballot envelope and signatures are matched.

[Fark user image 850x400]

"Failure to sing below will invalidate your ballot"?  Man, these gerrymandering tactics just get worse and worse.


It's not over until the fat lady votes.
 
2020-05-28 10:58:33 PM  
"...strange claim that ballots aren't being sent to conservative communities."

There is no f*cking end to his full-of-shiattiness.

/ i know shiattiness is not a word
// it is now
 
2020-05-28 10:59:01 PM  
stupid hamburder greese

keys slippry

/anger subsiding
 
2020-05-28 10:59:10 PM  
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size


Does anything he says make sense anymore?
 
2020-05-28 10:59:46 PM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: common sense is an oxymoron: fusillade762: mr_a: fusillade762: Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.

They mail them TO you

Ah, okay.  So they're claiming kids will steal an unopened, not yet filled out ballot.

Misdeliveries and lost mail happen, which is why ballots are mailed weeks early.  It doesn't matter how many replacement ballots get sent out; it's the matching signature on the return envelope that counts.

What are they matching the signature to?


The signature on file with the elections office, same as with in-person voting.
 
2020-05-28 11:00:27 PM  

mr_a: fusillade762: Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.

They mail them TO you


Lots of folks put outgoing mail in the box and turn the flag so the carrier knows to make a stop in case there is nothing incoming. It was a rural, farm thing back in the day when gasoline was strictly rationed or the roads were not what there are now. They could see, from a distance, if they had to make it to that house for a reason, instead of just continiuing on the route.
Of course, the flags are smaller, but still bright red.
I do this with my mail if I dont have to go by the main PO.
 
2020-05-28 11:00:55 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-28 11:01:14 PM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: common sense is an oxymoron: fusillade762: mr_a: fusillade762: Why would I put a ballot in MY mail box?  That doesn't make any farking sense.

They mail them TO you

Ah, okay.  So they're claiming kids will steal an unopened, not yet filled out ballot.

Misdeliveries and lost mail happen, which is why ballots are mailed weeks early.  It doesn't matter how many replacement ballots get sent out; it's the matching signature on the return envelope that counts.

What are they matching the signature to?


I am also unclear now, if each ballot as sent with an envelope to sign, this is somehow better.
 
2020-05-28 11:03:09 PM  
When does he claim the Space Forcs is to stop the weasel Martians from busting thd mailbixes and stealing ballots.
 
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