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(Slate)   "My granddaughter is getting married, and she apparently has no intention of inviting my best friend for over three decades who sends her money every birthday and Christmas. I'm outraged; can I boycott the wedding for this affront to civility?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Debut albums, WANT, Family, 2007 singles, Dear Prudence, Do You, All That You Can't Leave Behind, best friend  
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444 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 28 May 2020 at 10:35 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-05-28 10:00:30 AM  
If your friend is as selfish as you--maybe she shouldn't invite you either.
 
2020-05-28 10:47:46 AM  
grandma's friend is probably pretty far down the list of people to invite

unless it's grandma's 'special' friend, then maybe grandma needs to have a talk with the family if she wants her to have any familial status
 
2020-05-28 10:53:23 AM  
Can't she be Grandma's "plus 1"?
 
2020-05-28 10:55:04 AM  
Why do people ask permission?
 
2020-05-28 10:59:21 AM  
No grandmother is actually going to skip the granddaughter's wedding. The bride needs to call her bluff.
 
2020-05-28 11:03:51 AM  
Better choice: convince the bride that a wedding is an atrocious waste of money and time and remind her how much better of a choice it is to take the 30-75k she will spend on a single day and put it in a retirement account instead
 
2020-05-28 11:04:57 AM  
you're old and so is your friend so there is a better than decent chance that at least one of you will be dead by the time the wedding actually happens so i wouldn't sweat it.
 
2020-05-28 11:09:44 AM  
1) If Your Name Is On The Guest List, No One Can Take You Higher: All this indignation on a rumor?  Do STFU and wait until final word.  It's late next year you say.

2) Hush Now, Baby, Baby, Don't You Cry: Tell mom to STFU and MYOB occasionally.

3) He Was Dangerous And Drunk And Defeated: Gonna say STFU and MYOB.  I only see this ending in further pain.

4) Now That I Found Out I Know I Can Cry: So BF has internalized his guilt and assuming you believe all the things in his mind that made him keep it a secret in the first place.  That's a lot to work through and you both will need professional help to navigate this.

5) You've Got Too Much Drama I'm Not Qualified To Fix: Jada needs to be told to STFU, probably repeatedly.

6) And Sometimes I's Anchored To Some Snot That Hangs From Your Nose And You're Afraid It's Gonna Drop: So as a seasonal allergy sufferer, mucous is a reality in my life.  The big issue is to get Kate to use a tissue.  Come equipped.  Or just stop hanging out.  Whatever.

7) The Simple Things You See Are All Complicated (Classic): I don't pull this one out often, but in this case KHITBASH.
 
2020-05-28 11:17:49 AM  
Pretty good opportunity for the friend to stop sending money on her birthday and Christmas.
 
2020-05-28 11:41:02 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: grandma's friend is probably pretty far down the list of people to invite

unless it's grandma's 'special' friend, then maybe grandma needs to have a talk with the family if she wants her to have any familial status


Grandma's friend who sends me money every single year?  Yeah, that's automatically worth an invite.
 
2020-05-28 11:54:17 AM  

LL316: Dead for Tax Reasons: grandma's friend is probably pretty far down the list of people to invite

unless it's grandma's 'special' friend, then maybe grandma needs to have a talk with the family if she wants her to have any familial status

Grandma's friend who sends me money every single year?  Yeah, that's automatically worth an invite.


Elderly friend of Grandma sends money every birthday? I'm imagining something like this:

frinkiac.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-28 11:56:39 AM  
I am with the Granddaughter/Son on this one, as the Grandmother is lacking a lot of important info to judge things.  That said I can see why in her eyes why this"Greta" should get an invite but other factors have to be taken into account and grandma's generous friend is likely high on the list of potential guests to be cut.  That said i do agree on allowing Grandma to bring her as a plus +1
 
2020-05-28 11:57:36 AM  

LL316: Dead for Tax Reasons: grandma's friend is probably pretty far down the list of people to invite

unless it's grandma's 'special' friend, then maybe grandma needs to have a talk with the family if she wants her to have any familial status

Grandma's friend who sends me money every single year?  Yeah, that's automatically worth an invite.


it's down the list.  depends on what your budget is and how many people you can afford to invite.  put her above people you work with or that are in your bowling league, but if there are a lot of direct family and close friends, she may not may not make the cut.  it's daddy's money, but it's not unlimited.

a lot of unknowns other than the limited biased granny info to give a real determination.  my grandma thought $5 for my birthday was a lot.  does greta think that and a semiannual trip to golden corral puts her at the front of the line?  if she's sending $100 and an expensive dinner, sure.  probably in between, so it depends on circumstances
 
2020-05-28 11:58:39 AM  
I went through this. Apparently it's proper etiquette to ask your parents who they would like to invite to your wedding. My wife and I were completely unaware of this custom and my mom flipped out when the invitations went out (by email, gasp) and she hadn't been consulted. It led to a huge blowout and we didn't speak for months. It would've made for an awkward wedding day, but I ended up in the hospital the night before and was in the ICU for days. Our rescheduled wedding was supposed to be this Saturday.
 
2020-05-28 1:51:21 PM  

Petite Mel: Can't she be Grandma's "plus 1"?


My thought exactly. This is what '+1' is for.
 
2020-05-28 2:18:22 PM  
Grandma-you don't have any standing in this one. Sorry.

ER Nurse Daughter. Prudie's advice works. DnD with a message. Just make sure you follow up.

Abuser's Daughter-I wouldn't make the first move...or the second without some proof of rehab (not reform, that honestly never fully happens). If he dies? That'll suck but you will at least be safe and you can shiat on his grave later.

Crossdressing BF-This dude knows how to deflect, doesn't he? Kick his ass out as soon as practical.

Jada needs to take her issues offline. Everyone agrees on this.

Give Kate a dose of her own habit and spread a big one on her face.

Mixed race kid- Wow...Clueless, elitist, and racist all in one package. At least you know.
 
2020-05-28 2:45:55 PM  

FDR Jones: I went through this. Apparently it's proper etiquette to ask your parents who they would like to invite to your wedding. My wife and I were completely unaware of this custom and my mom flipped out when the invitations went out (by email, gasp) and she hadn't been consulted. It led to a huge blowout and we didn't speak for months. It would've made for an awkward wedding day, but I ended up in the hospital the night before and was in the ICU for days. Our rescheduled wedding was supposed to be this Saturday.


Aw, all of that is messed up. I hope your luck gets better.
*hug*
 
2020-05-28 3:26:27 PM  
Sad that gma isn't close enough to her gdaughter to talk directly to her.
 
2020-05-28 6:38:07 PM  

Petite Mel: LL316: Dead for Tax Reasons: grandma's friend is probably pretty far down the list of people to invite

unless it's grandma's 'special' friend, then maybe grandma needs to have a talk with the family if she wants her to have any familial status

Grandma's friend who sends me money every single year?  Yeah, that's automatically worth an invite.

Elderly friend of Grandma sends money every birthday? I'm imagining something like this:

[frinkiac.com image 640x480]


I kind of did too. Also sweaters and dress clothes unrequested
 
2020-05-29 12:17:15 PM  

FDR Jones: I went through this. Apparently it's proper etiquette to ask your parents who they would like to invite to your wedding. My wife and I were completely unaware of this custom and my mom flipped out when the invitations went out (by email, gasp) and she hadn't been consulted. It led to a huge blowout and we didn't speak for months. It would've made for an awkward wedding day, but I ended up in the hospital the night before and was in the ICU for days. Our rescheduled wedding was supposed to be this Saturday.


Let me know when you reschedule the next one for so I can get into a fallout shelter.
 
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