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(Metro)   The pandemic may have finally allowed women to realize they're doing way too much   (metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Autonomic nervous system, Parasympathetic nervous system, Sympathetic nervous system, Nervous system, Time management, Doing It, Woman Syndrome, Dr Libby Weaver  
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4915 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2020 at 12:18 PM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-05-23 9:07:18 AM  
Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."
 
2020-05-23 9:32:57 AM  
Way too much kvetching, amirite, guys?

Guys?

Guys?

Hello?
 
2020-05-23 9:35:29 AM  
It's not just women. The entire office space ecosystem has taken a breath due to work from home.
 
2020-05-23 9:39:56 AM  

Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."


Counterpoint to that is we realized some of the cleaning that our generations slacked off on was important after all.

I've always laughed at how anal retentive some of my elderly aunts were about having spotless houses. But looking back, they were born and raised just after the 1918 flu and lived through the polio scares, so it makes more sense.
 
2020-05-23 9:46:49 AM  
GardenWeasel:

We do have the cleanest doorknobs and faucet handles in town.
 
2020-05-23 10:05:40 AM  
Oh holy crap I wish my wife would stop and relax. She's living with generalized anxiety disorder, depression and a bit of OCD, and grew up with constantly working and impatient family. Medication and therapy haven't helped (not much, anyway).

She works her job, currently at home, for the 40 hours she's paid for, plus nights, weekends, holidays, really anytime she can. 60-80 hours/week. She insists on cleaning, non-stop, when she's not working. Sitting down for five minutes is torture, for her. Most of our communication involves her complaining relentlessly about never getting all of her work done.

I do all the cooking and most of the shopping, all the yard work, vacuuming, the "heavy lifting." I sneak around to do the dishes (she freaks out if she notices me doing dishes. She claims I "do them wrong." This isn't based on facts.) I try to take on more, but I "don't do anything right," which is silly.

Her health is shot. She sees 3-5 doctors per month for a variety of stress-related illnesses. I beg and plead with her to just sit down and relax. She glares at me like I'm the biggest asshole ever for suggesting such a thing. I constantly offer to hire a housekeeper (they don't do things the way she wants it done).

Our house is basically spotless (it is easily the cleanest of all of our friends and families, including the ones who have housekeepers). Her boss at work demands that my wife cap her work at 40 hours--doesn't matter.

So, "Rushing Woman Syndrome." I guess that's another one to add to the list.
 
2020-05-23 10:06:40 AM  

GardenWeasel: Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."

Counterpoint to that is we realized some of the cleaning that our generations slacked off on was important after all.

I've always laughed at how anal retentive some of my elderly aunts were about having spotless houses. But looking back, they were born and raised just after the 1918 flu and lived through the polio scares, so it makes more sense.


Also, we can now say goodbye to the five seconds rule.
 
2020-05-23 10:15:12 AM  

GardenWeasel: Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."

Counterpoint to that is we realized some of the cleaning that our generations slacked off on was important after all.

I've always laughed at how anal retentive some of my elderly aunts were about having spotless houses. But looking back, they were born and raised just after the 1918 flu and lived through the polio scares, so it makes more sense.


Yep. We've chuckled at my mom (87) occasionally over the years but darn if you couldn't have eaten off any surface in her house. Seeing the housekeeping fade away and the grime creep in was a sure sign mom was fading.
 
2020-05-23 10:42:37 AM  
I am not happy with lumping so many different outward symptoms into the latest, soon-to-be-weaponized psychological catch phrase.

There are a lot of different things at work here.

'Women have been, I guess, just gently alert all the time,' she tells us. 'We see so much more in our vision so much more that needs doing so I think biologically, we are a little bit predisposed to keep doing. It's the compromise on our rest that's enormously impacted on the way our nervous system is able to function.

And traditional gender roles are not biology.
 
2020-05-23 11:13:30 AM  
I'm not so sure. As I'm sitting here right now, my wife is on the couch reading a book and I DO NOT HAVE A DAMN SAMMICH NEXT TO ME.

/maybe I should go make her one
 
2020-05-23 11:53:25 AM  
You all have wives?
 
2020-05-23 12:00:01 PM  

sozelle: You all have wives?


For 27 years, next month
 
2020-05-23 12:09:06 PM  

sozelle: You all have wives?


no, but I have a maid. much cheaper.
 
2020-05-23 12:19:15 PM  

Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."


I've used Covid as a reason to bail on about half of my daily duties. I think the article has it backwards.
 
2020-05-23 12:21:57 PM  

sozelle: You all have wives?


I know. I tricked her. Just ask her.
 
2020-05-23 12:26:09 PM  
If they just stayed in the kitchen they would not have this problem.   It is a much more limited set of responsibilities.
 
2020-05-23 12:26:09 PM  
For my wife, doing everything in the least efficient way possible doesn't help.
 
2020-05-23 12:26:31 PM  
My wife's cleaning the bong right now, so I'm getting a kick
 
2020-05-23 12:28:01 PM  

Lifeless: My wife's cleaning the bong right now, so I'm getting a kick


I do hope that is not a euphemism
 
2020-05-23 12:29:16 PM  

Mister Peejay: Lifeless: My wife's cleaning the bong right now, so I'm getting a kick

I do hope that is not a euphemism


I hope it is.
 
2020-05-23 12:30:17 PM  
Me and my SO just have different vision or something. She looks at something I regard as clean and thinks it looks terrible and needs taken care of.....while on the other hand, it bugs the hell out of me that the deck isn't quite square but she swears it is fine.
 
2020-05-23 12:30:29 PM  

big pig peaches: For my wife, doing everything in the least efficient way possible doesn't help.


I find it helps to explain to my wife how she's doing it inefficiently. She really loved my last ppt stack!
 
2020-05-23 12:31:12 PM  

beezeltown: Oh holy crap I wish my wife would stop and relax. She's living with generalized anxiety disorder, depression and a bit of OCD, and grew up with constantly working and impatient family. Medication and therapy haven't helped (not much, anyway).

She works her job, currently at home, for the 40 hours she's paid for, plus nights, weekends, holidays, really anytime she can. 60-80 hours/week. She insists on cleaning, non-stop, when she's not working. Sitting down for five minutes is torture, for her. Most of our communication involves her complaining relentlessly about never getting all of her work done.

I do all the cooking and most of the shopping, all the yard work, vacuuming, the "heavy lifting." I sneak around to do the dishes (she freaks out if she notices me doing dishes. She claims I "do them wrong." This isn't based on facts.) I try to take on more, but I "don't do anything right," which is silly.

Her health is shot. She sees 3-5 doctors per month for a variety of stress-related illnesses. I beg and plead with her to just sit down and relax. She glares at me like I'm the biggest asshole ever for suggesting such a thing. I constantly offer to hire a housekeeper (they don't do things the way she wants it done).

Our house is basically spotless (it is easily the cleanest of all of our friends and families, including the ones who have housekeepers). Her boss at work demands that my wife cap her work at 40 hours--doesn't matter.

So, "Rushing Woman Syndrome." I guess that's another one to add to the list.


You got a life insurance policy on her?

Up the payout.
 
2020-05-23 12:31:53 PM  
I haven't really seen a lot of attention paid to the lack of kids activities (like sports, dance, skating, school events, farking birthday parties, etc) and how that is giving us a lot of our time and sanity back. It seems like 90% of the rush was due to that because every single day we were running from 5:00 to 8 or 9. Since COVID - very little takeout, and what we do take out is a deliberate choice to support local business that serve good food, versus "fark it, just go to McDonald's" in the 5 minutes between activities. I have time to make lunches and bring them to work.

Saturdays - we used to run from 8AM to 8PM, laundry and other household chores were a pain in the ass that had to be squeezed in. Now we sit around and leisurely do them, get the kids involved, etc. I've gotten way more projects done in the last two months than in the past two years. And I don't think kids are suffering for the lack of activities, other than boredom.

But as soon as everybody else starts up, it'll be chaos again.
 
2020-05-23 12:32:35 PM  
Tesla - Mother's Little Helper - (Five Man Acoustical Jam)
Youtube oV5py6_FC0c
 
2020-05-23 12:32:46 PM  

educated: I am not happy with lumping so many different outward symptoms into the latest, soon-to-be-weaponized psychological catch phrase.

There are a lot of different things at work here.

'Women have been, I guess, just gently alert all the time,' she tells us. 'We see so much more in our vision so much more that needs doing so I think biologically, we are a little bit predisposed to keep doing. It's the compromise on our rest that's enormously impacted on the way our nervous system is able to function.

And traditional gender roles are not biology.

<-------- There are a lot of different things at work here (and yes Virginia, biology is one of them.)
 
2020-05-23 12:33:26 PM  

Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.


Perfect haircuts (no one really notices), meetings (no one's listening), your Porsche (no one cares).

We're only 30 years out from the last people who wrapped their furniture in plastic covers.
 
7 days ago  

gunther_bumpass: Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

Perfect haircuts (no one really notices), meetings (no one's listening), your Porsche (no one cares).

We're only 30 years out from the last people who wrapped their furniture in plastic covers.



You know how I know you don't know any Italian families?
 
7 days ago  

Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."


My neighbor pressure-washed his driveway and sidewalk. Now mine looks like crap by comparison. I was perfectly fine with my driveway until that asshole had to go and clean his.
 
7 days ago  

beezeltown: Oh holy crap I wish my wife would stop and relax. She's living with generalized anxiety disorder, depression and a bit of OCD, and grew up with constantly working and impatient family. Medication and therapy haven't helped (not much, anyway).

She works her job, currently at home, for the 40 hours she's paid for, plus nights, weekends, holidays, really anytime she can. 60-80 hours/week. She insists on cleaning, non-stop, when she's not working. Sitting down for five minutes is torture, for her. Most of our communication involves her complaining relentlessly about never getting all of her work done.

I do all the cooking and most of the shopping, all the yard work, vacuuming, the "heavy lifting." I sneak around to do the dishes (she freaks out if she notices me doing dishes. She claims I "do them wrong." This isn't based on facts.) I try to take on more, but I "don't do anything right," which is silly.

Her health is shot. She sees 3-5 doctors per month for a variety of stress-related illnesses. I beg and plead with her to just sit down and relax. She glares at me like I'm the biggest asshole ever for suggesting such a thing. I constantly offer to hire a housekeeper (they don't do things the way she wants it done).

Our house is basically spotless (it is easily the cleanest of all of our friends and families, including the ones who have housekeepers). Her boss at work demands that my wife cap her work at 40 hours--doesn't matter.

So, "Rushing Woman Syndrome." I guess that's another one to add to the list.


Being busy is a common symptom of anxiety; because while you're doing something else, you don't have enough brainpower left over to feel the anxiety. So doing something, anything, lessens that pain. It takes your mind off of it for a little while.

In that respect, doing 'nothing', and having nothing to focus on but the pain of the anxiety, is agony.

One is essentially trying to outrun oneself, and one's own feeling of emotions.
 
7 days ago  
If you wait long enough, he'll do yours too
 
7 days ago  
How many self inflicted holes does that cartoon woman need in her head?!
 
7 days ago  
educated:
'Women have been, I guess, just gently alert all the time,' she tells us. 'We see so much more in our vision so much more that needs doing so I think biologically, we are a little bit predisposed to keep doing. It's the compromise on our rest that's enormously impacted on the way our nervous system is able to function.

And traditional gender roles are not biology.


Men and women do process visual information differently. If I remember right men compartmentalize and scan details while women are better at seeing a whole image. There was also an interesting thing about VR stuff not being as effective for women because the designers were all men and the tricks to make it work weren't as effective for women.
 
7 days ago  

sozelle: You all have wives?



Stockholm Syndrome is real.
 
7 days ago  

sozelle: You all have wives?


You don't know her. Her name is Morgan Fairchild.
 
7 days ago  
The one word that comes to mind when I read that someone started their own business while on maternity leave...nanny

/stay-at-home dad
 
7 days ago  
If so, it's about time.

They ran a show on public radio last week, apparently they had couples track time they spent doing this and that to avoid just relying on gut feeling. They said with two work at home parents the woman was doing 20% more stuff.

But they admitted it was much more complex than that. They didn't have great info on hours worked for week (or never mentioned it for some reason). They admitted often the woman essentially wants to do more because she makes the mistake of demanding x, y,or z be done just so, so she does it herself. In other areas she was simply the person who always did it, but it was because his job wasn't as flexible as hers (and that studies say most aren't) with regard to socially accepting kid time off. Other examples were a guy taking on the big jobs and woman doing more total work via small jobs, but having neither the interest nor skill set for the big jobs (and thus viewing the split as less unfair than the numbers suggested. There was a perceived hardness to one labor that made it count for more).


The long and the short of it was women probably aren't getting a good deal, but it can't be boiled down to anything silly like men were abdicating responsibility. That couples needed to really sit down and hash out divisions of labor that they accept and stick to.
 
7 days ago  

GardenWeasel: Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."

Counterpoint to that is we realized some of the cleaning that our generations slacked off on was important after all.

I've always laughed at how anal retentive some of my elderly aunts were about having spotless houses. But looking back, they were born and raised just after the 1918 flu and lived through the polio scares, so it makes more sense.


It sucks that you can still see where I wiped my dick on your curtains.
 
7 days ago  

sozelle: You all have wives?


Two, plus another in Canada.
 
7 days ago  
Meh.   A number of years ago, my husband and I made a deal.   I'd take over the house stuff, the accounting, all the paperwork, bills, shopping, cooking...basically a housewife.  This was after he made a "joke" that he was the only guy in the fleet whose wife drives a bigger boat than him.   I got the hint.

Anyhoo...he's being a good boy and not out socializing, staying in, except for a few golf games.   He lives in his man cave or in the yard.   Me? I'm still doing all the house stuff, the accounting, all the paperwork, bills, cooking...

I finally did get him to help me cut back some tree/bushes.   Still waiting to haul off the couple of truckloads of yard debris.  But the gardening doesn't interest him at all.   I blame the Firestick the kids got him for his birthday, he's binge watching everything.  That and he is a bit depressed.   This time of year he'd be out fishing.   He's Jonesing for books to read.  The library is still closed.
 
7 days ago  

Prof. Frink: GardenWeasel: Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."

Counterpoint to that is we realized some of the cleaning that our generations slacked off on was important after all.

I've always laughed at how anal retentive some of my elderly aunts were about having spotless houses. But looking back, they were born and raised just after the 1918 flu and lived through the polio scares, so it makes more sense.

It sucks that you can still see where I wiped my dick on your curtains.


HA! We don't have curtains.
 
7 days ago  

Snort: If they just stayed in the kitchen they would not have this problem.   It is a much more limited set of responsibilities.


Sharpen knives, put poison in ungreatful lazy-ass husband's sandwich, make space in the large freezer. It's all pretty straightforward.
 
7 days ago  

sozelle: You all have wives?


10 years tomorrow.  At least I can blame the pandemic for forgetting to get a gift.  My brother actually reminded me yesterday...
 
7 days ago  

Demetrius: I'm not so sure. As I'm sitting here right now, my wife is on the couch reading a book....


"It's not right for women to read. Soon she'll start getting ideas, and thinking...."
 
7 days ago  
Way too much kvetching, amirite, guys?

amen, brother
 
7 days ago  
Russian woman syndrome starts out nice, but does not end well


Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
7 days ago  
We're all doing too much. Nobody should be using several hundred barrels of oil every day just to stay alive. So farking stop.

Who cares about your stupid capitalistic games? The whole point of it is to kill you with overwork.
 
7 days ago  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Russian woman syndrome starts out nice, but does not end well


[Fark user image image 640x428]
[Fark user image image 640x426]


Idk man.  That second pic is kinda hot.  Imagine a bj with no teeth.
 
7 days ago  

dkulprit: sozelle: You all have wives?

10 years tomorrow.  At least I can blame the pandemic for forgetting to get a gift.  My brother actually reminded me yesterday...


Me and my wife both forgot our (15th?) anniversary last year.

But to be fair we were halfway through a summer road trip from Paris to Bordeaux so we had other stuff on our minds.
 
7 days ago  

CipollinaFan: GardenWeasel: Bowen: Most of the things we think are important are actually bullshiat.

"Must mulch the flower beds every spring! What if a weed grows out by the mailbox? Oh dear, there's a smudge on one window, we need to clean them all now."

Counterpoint to that is we realized some of the cleaning that our generations slacked off on was important after all.

I've always laughed at how anal retentive some of my elderly aunts were about having spotless houses. But looking back, they were born and raised just after the 1918 flu and lived through the polio scares, so it makes more sense.

Also, we can now say goodbye to the five seconds rule.


You can pry the five-second rule from my cold, dead hands...

Uh, oh.
 
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