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(US Naval Institute)   U.S. Navy releases video of a ship downing a drone with its frickin' laser beam during the first at-sea test. Pew pew!   (news.usni.org) divider line
    More: Murica, United States Navy, laser weapon, Laser, sea test of the Navy, high-energy laser weapon system, Amphibious ship USS Portland, greater power-generation capabilities, SSL-TM  
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6976 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 23 May 2020 at 1:05 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-05-22 9:13:40 PM  
71 votes:
pixl.varagesale.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 1:18:45 AM  
45 votes:
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2020-05-22 10:35:30 PM  
30 votes:
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 2:52:06 AM  
29 votes:

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Came looking for references to Jonny Quest - either 'Mystery of the Lizard Men' or 'The Robot Spy', take your pick.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 1:52:16 AM  
29 votes:

fehk: I was wondering if there's ever anywhere to see live weapon exercises, like air shows but for weapons?


Call your wife by her sister's name while you're doin it.
 
2020-05-23 2:37:33 AM  
28 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

The formula has been online for years.
 
2020-05-22 9:05:46 PM  
27 votes:
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 3:09:43 AM  
20 votes:
lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 3:16:08 AM  
18 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Mr Vice-President, I served with Race Bannon. I knew Race Bannon . Race Bannon was a friend of mine. Mr. Vice-President, you're no Race Bannon
 
2020-05-23 1:08:35 AM  
18 votes:
We've officially entered the photoshop war with Iran and North Korea

shiat's getting real, yo
 
2020-05-23 1:21:55 AM  
12 votes:

AirForceVet: simulating a cruise middle.


media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 1:34:40 AM  
11 votes:

fehk: I was wondering if there's ever anywhere to see live weapon exercises, like air shows but for weapons?


franksengraving.comView Full Size


Give those guys a call.  They'll hook you up.
 
2020-05-23 1:34:24 AM  
10 votes:

fehk: I was wondering if there's ever anywhere to see live weapon exercises, like air shows but for weapons?


You could try robbing a drug dealer.
 
2020-05-23 6:38:33 AM  
9 votes:
They have to turn to boat upside down to change the batteries.
 
2020-05-23 1:55:11 AM  
9 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 1:47:33 AM  
6 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 1:21:57 AM  
6 votes:
I imagine it sounded a little something like this:

pew pew pew pew
Youtube ivsWIVJFRVw
 
2020-05-23 2:01:30 AM  
4 votes:

AirForceVet: Neat trick. Now let's try a jet-powered drone simulating a cruise middle. Then follow that with a ballistic missile intercept.


How about we fix the roads and dams, get medical care to everyone in this country, improve education with a reality-based curriculum, shore up the foundations of our democracy with some election security, start making some real changes to our society to combat global ecological and climatological collapse, and some judicial and law enforcement reform to reduce the impact of institutional racism first?

/in no particular order
//I didn't even address sexism or misogyny, I just don't even have a clue how to fix that
 
2020-05-23 3:39:21 PM  
3 votes:

This text is now purple: KodosZardoz: Meh. Let me know when we have Laser Chimps. LASER CHIMPS!

We are laser chimps.


In my head, it sounded like you were introducing your band right before they start playing their first song.
 
2020-05-23 7:45:43 AM  
3 votes:
Maybe if there was a way of bringing this light inside the body, almost a cleaning.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 4:13:43 AM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 3:23:49 AM  
3 votes:

Krieghund: 2wolves: So the tech savvy op for countries continue research into UMVs, Unmanned Marine Vehicles.  Lasers don't penetrate water.

Bonus:  They can be used for cocaine smuggling.


Couldn't they just use the CIA to smuggle their cocaine like a respectable drug lord?
 
2020-05-23 12:13:30 PM  
2 votes:

tricycleracer: AirForceVet: Neat trick. Now let's try a jet-powered drone simulating a cruise middle. Then follow that with a ballistic missile intercept.

Telephone pole-sized rods of tungsten dropped from orbit


A telephone pole sized rod of tungsten would be so expensive to get into orbit, along with enough fuel to de-orbit it hard enough that it can't be seen or avoided days in advance, that it would be much cheaper and easier to just buy the country that has the target.
 
2020-05-23 10:01:22 AM  
2 votes:
Nobody picked up on the fact that the reason the firing platform is an amphibious support vessel is because the laser needs something like an MIT lab with the requisite power to fire it?  Sure, you have to start somewhere but this thing is huge.  See the earlier picture of the 747 Airborne laser? Same issue, that was a flying chemical plant that could burn paint off missiles on a good day.  Come back to me when it's the size of an iPhone and I can blind my Fox viewing neighbors from across the county.
 
2020-05-23 4:34:09 AM  
2 votes:

starsrift: OgreMagi: starsrift: Well, to their credit, the US military-industrial is not fighting the last war with this new tech. Now they're fighting completely imaginary ones.

The last attacks on a US ship were some Houthi rebels aiming some rockets in the general direction of an Arleigh Burke, the USS Mason. It's unclear whether the missiles were successfully stopped by the Mason or just fell into the sea.

And of course the attack before that was the bombing the USS Cole, with a speedboat.

On the other hand, I suppose, having your own laser might be a lot more attractive than relying on an F35 CAP.

The laser isn't designed to deal with terrorist insurgents or African warlords.  It's for dealing with bigger threats like China.  It's generally considered a good idea to have the resources to deal with an enemy before they attack.

My point was twofold.

One: A drone is just an aircraft. The US already has plenty of tools already to bring down aircraft. Some of those aircraft it can bring down might even belong to an enemy.

Two: The US hasn't had a fight with a modern military since WW2. In fact, no US navy ship has been actually sunk by hostile action since WW2. That's not a bad thing, per se, but the wars it DOES fight are ones with much less advanced gear, and more, well, more scrappy opponents. If the MI complex develops anything, it should be practical workhorses along the lines of the A-10, not lasers to replace A-A batteries or CIWS. This doesn't appear to be actually better than the previous options, though it looks cool, I guess. I dunno, maybe I'm wrong, and the price of ammo is prohibitive.


Tools can find different uses. I mean, the practical workhorse you mention was originally conceived as being useful if we have a giant tank battle on the plains of Eastern Europe, which of course there hasn't been since Kursk, and if the US has redundant options in any one mission it is certainly "ways to blow up a tank" -- and it's loved in large part because of how cool its BRRRRT is. But it found plenty of practical uses and dedicated proponents even if it never actually managed to rake any lines of melted lead through any kilometre-long Soviet armoured columns.

Does a giant laser have military applications other than splashing drones? Certainly. Are those applications all going to be obvious until we have practical giant lasers? Certainly not. Is pouring billions of dollars into pew pew so we can figure out why we want pew pew an absurd waste of resources in a society where people can't afford to see a doctor? Of course it is. But it's been the American Way since 1950 or so.
 
2020-05-23 3:16:24 AM  
2 votes:
Meh. Let me know when we have Laser Chimps. LASER CHIMPS!
 
2020-05-24 4:31:01 AM  
1 vote:

fehk: Space Squid: fehk: While lasers are great and way past due, what happened to microwave beams to burn out a big swath of these swarms?

We don't show off all of our toys...

My understanding of the issue with microwave beam technology is the danger to us fleshy things.  Even focused beams of microwave are a danger to the transmission near-area outside the beam.  I worked near a microwave transmission tower that sent data between buildings a couple miles apart.  When the tower was actively transmitting, no one could be within 60 feet of the tower, even if completely perpendicular to the beam path, or they could get TV Diner'ed.

One guy was too close when someone didn't follow procedures to make sure the area was cleared.  He got cooked a bit.  But I'm afraid I don't know if he was okay or not.

Dang it Space Squid of fark.com, you're right. If we did have drone swarms, and that seems a pretty obvious target, we wouldn't have had a reason to use them, and if did we did advertise our laser dolphins that would just be an invitation for people to find ways to distract them with kippered snacks and whatnot. I'm at a loss, hopefully that guy didn't get too microwaved


Sorry Space Squid, that fark.com bit was unnecessary, i was just trying to be cool. Not to worry, I'll wake up tomorrow feeling bad for the original message and this response
 
2020-05-24 2:51:25 AM  
1 vote:

Space Squid: fehk: While lasers are great and way past due, what happened to microwave beams to burn out a big swath of these swarms?

We don't show off all of our toys...

My understanding of the issue with microwave beam technology is the danger to us fleshy things.  Even focused beams of microwave are a danger to the transmission near-area outside the beam.  I worked near a microwave transmission tower that sent data between buildings a couple miles apart.  When the tower was actively transmitting, no one could be within 60 feet of the tower, even if completely perpendicular to the beam path, or they could get TV Diner'ed.

One guy was too close when someone didn't follow procedures to make sure the area was cleared.  He got cooked a bit.  But I'm afraid I don't know if he was okay or not.


Dang it Space Squid of fark.com, you're right. If we did have drone swarms, and that seems a pretty obvious target, we wouldn't have had a reason to use them, and if did we did advertise our laser dolphins that would just be an invitation for people to find ways to distract them with kippered snacks and whatnot. I'm at a loss, hopefully that guy didn't get too microwaved
 
2020-05-23 9:00:16 PM  
1 vote:

valenumr: Mister Peejay: tricycleracer: AirForceVet: Neat trick. Now let's try a jet-powered drone simulating a cruise middle. Then follow that with a ballistic missile intercept.

Telephone pole-sized rods of tungsten dropped from orbit

A telephone pole sized rod of tungsten would be so expensive to get into orbit, along with enough fuel to de-orbit it hard enough that it can't be seen or avoided days in advance, that it would be much cheaper and easier to just buy the country that has the target.

It doesn't need to be the size of a telephone pole. Look at the energy of a basic tungsten sabot round. It is basically a freight train going throw gh a square in hole, and the penetrator is roughly 3/4" x 16".


It's something like over Mach 3, the kinetic energy of something is higher than its weight in explosives.
 
2020-05-23 4:33:05 PM  
1 vote:

pkjun: johnny_vegas: pkjun: valenumr: indy_kid: If you could see the enemy ship, you could blind the bridge crew in an instant.

Still, we could (and should) cut the Pentagon's budget in half, and put that money into infrastructure and health care.  What's the point of spending $800B a year to defend a "shiathole" country?

Okay zoomer. Good to know you appreciate the liberty and security you were born into.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 722x599]
[pbs.twimg.com image 850x515]

America isn't a bad country to live in, but if military spending is meant to buy quality of life, well, America's investment strategy really isn't getting a great ROI.

I think a lot of those countries would disagree and say the US expenditure has absolutely contributed to their quality of life both in a "world cop" sense and in they being able to build up their own social services because they don't have to invest as heavily in the their own military.

[commondreams.org image 464x560]
[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

[pewresearch.org image 638x510]
[pewresearch.org image 740x740]
[pewresearch.org image 740x604]

For some weird reason, the country with more weapons than every other major power put together and a habit of starting wars for no particular reason and then forgetting about them when it gets bored does not make most of the world feel particularly at ease.


Though I do appreciate you not having mentioned what a horrible run-on sentence I wrote.
 
2020-05-23 4:27:43 PM  
1 vote:

pkjun: johnny_vegas: pkjun: valenumr: indy_kid: If you could see the enemy ship, you could blind the bridge crew in an instant.

Still, we could (and should) cut the Pentagon's budget in half, and put that money into infrastructure and health care.  What's the point of spending $800B a year to defend a "shiathole" country?

Okay zoomer. Good to know you appreciate the liberty and security you were born into.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 722x599]
[pbs.twimg.com image 850x515]

America isn't a bad country to live in, but if military spending is meant to buy quality of life, well, America's investment strategy really isn't getting a great ROI.

I think a lot of those countries would disagree and say the US expenditure has absolutely contributed to their quality of life both in a "world cop" sense and in they being able to build up their own social services because they don't have to invest as heavily in the their own military.

[commondreams.org image 464x560]
[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

[pewresearch.org image 638x510]
[pewresearch.org image 740x740]
[pewresearch.org image 740x604]

For some weird reason, the country with more weapons than every other major power put together and a habit of starting wars for no particular reason and then forgetting about them when it gets bored does not make most of the world feel particularly at ease.


Which does not invalidate my point whatsoever.
 
2020-05-23 1:25:10 PM  
1 vote:
So now we're going to have to cover all the aircraft with mirrors like a disco ball
 
2020-05-23 10:51:19 AM  
1 vote:
Hold up everybody-- we're missing the main issue here.

How did Subby manage to end a headline with an exclamation point?
 
2020-05-23 10:24:25 AM  
1 vote:
Real Genius!
 
2020-05-23 8:57:10 AM  
1 vote:
So is this for the aliens that are coming in the fall?
 
2020-05-23 7:34:12 AM  
1 vote:

valenumr: Mister Peejay: Space Squid:
Two:  The reason the US hasn't had a fight with a modern military is because of weapons like this.  Knowing that we have capabilities like these (and these are just the ones we're willing to show) are deterrents to picking fights with us (from large modern militaries; of course the smaller "scrappier" ones still give it a shot every now and then, but as your comment illustrated, none have succeeded in accomplishing too awful much; again, because of new technologies ...

I would think the real reason the US hasn't had a fight with a modern military is because nations rich enough to have a modern military have no benefit to going to war with the US.  Wars have always been about resources, whether it be land or population or oil (arguably, WWII was the first oil war).  Nowadays, if you as a country are rich enough to fund a modern military, you're rich enough to just buy the resources you need, and set up stable trading partners so that you don't have to worry about supply.

Diplomacy and a tightly interconnected economy.

It is still important to stay on the cutting edge military-wise, because that can change faster than you can leap forward technologically.

WWII was instigated by a butthurt Germany over the fallout from WWI.


So they said. It's a lot easier to whip up the masses with "WE HAVE BEEN GRIEVOUSLY INSULTED AND MUST AVENGE OUR HONOUR" than with "look, we think there's an opportunity here to seize the wheat surplus of Ukraine and the oil fields of southern Russia and then we'll be self-sufficient even if the British blockade us again, so let's capitalise on Stalin being an idiot and murdering like all of his generals in a fit of paranoia, and then we can get back to rebuilding Mitteleuropa only with extra genocide this time."
 
2020-05-23 7:22:48 AM  
1 vote:
Thank god our enemies have yet to master the technology of shiny things.
 
2020-05-23 7:03:12 AM  
1 vote:

starsrift: OgreMagi: starsrift: Well, to their credit, the US military-industrial is not fighting the last war with this new tech. Now they're fighting completely imaginary ones.

The last attacks on a US ship were some Houthi rebels aiming some rockets in the general direction of an Arleigh Burke, the USS Mason. It's unclear whether the missiles were successfully stopped by the Mason or just fell into the sea.

And of course the attack before that was the bombing the USS Cole, with a speedboat.

On the other hand, I suppose, having your own laser might be a lot more attractive than relying on an F35 CAP.

The laser isn't designed to deal with terrorist insurgents or African warlords.  It's for dealing with bigger threats like China.  It's generally considered a good idea to have the resources to deal with an enemy before they attack.

My point was twofold.

One: A drone is just an aircraft. The US already has plenty of tools already to bring down aircraft. Some of those aircraft it can bring down might even belong to an enemy.

Two: The US hasn't had a fight with a modern military since WW2. In fact, no US navy ship has been actually sunk by hostile action since WW2. That's not a bad thing, per se, but the wars it DOES fight are ones with much less advanced gear, and more, well, more scrappy opponents. If the MI complex develops anything, it should be practical workhorses along the lines of the A-10, not lasers to replace A-A batteries or CIWS. This doesn't appear to be actually better than the previous options, though it looks cool, I guess. I dunno, maybe I'm wrong, and the price of ammo is prohibitive.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 6:51:13 AM  
1 vote:
Space Squid:
Two:  The reason the US hasn't had a fight with a modern military is because of weapons like this.  Knowing that we have capabilities like these (and these are just the ones we're willing to show) are deterrents to picking fights with us (from large modern militaries; of course the smaller "scrappier" ones still give it a shot every now and then, but as your comment illustrated, none have succeeded in accomplishing too awful much; again, because of new technologies ...

I would think the real reason the US hasn't had a fight with a modern military is because nations rich enough to have a modern military have no benefit to going to war with the US.  Wars have always been about resources, whether it be land or population or oil (arguably, WWII was the first oil war).  Nowadays, if you as a country are rich enough to fund a modern military, you're rich enough to just buy the resources you need, and set up stable trading partners so that you don't have to worry about supply.

Diplomacy and a tightly interconnected economy.

It is still important to stay on the cutting edge military-wise, because that can change faster than you can leap forward technologically.
 
2020-05-23 4:48:57 AM  
1 vote:

arkansized: My kid worked on the Lockheed project.

I told him he damn well better build me my ray gun.


I have a ray-gun You'll have to pry it from his cold dead hand
 
2020-05-23 3:26:46 AM  
1 vote:

starsrift: Well, to their credit, the US military-industrial is not fighting the last war with this new tech. Now they're fighting completely imaginary ones.

The last attacks on a US ship were some Houthi rebels aiming some rockets in the general direction of an Arleigh Burke, the USS Mason. It's unclear whether the missiles were successfully stopped by the Mason or just fell into the sea.

And of course the attack before that was the bombing the USS Cole, with a speedboat.

On the other hand, I suppose, having your own laser might be a lot more attractive than relying on an F35 CAP.


You'll thank him when the Cylons arrive.
 
2020-05-23 2:27:19 AM  
1 vote:

starsrift: Well, to their credit, the US military-industrial is not fighting the last war with this new tech. Now they're fighting completely imaginary ones.

The last attacks on a US ship were some Houthi rebels aiming some rockets in the general direction of an Arleigh Burke, the USS Mason. It's unclear whether the missiles were successfully stopped by the Mason or just fell into the sea.

And of course the attack before that was the bombing the USS Cole, with a speedboat.

On the other hand, I suppose, having your own laser might be a lot more attractive than relying on an F35 CAP.


The laser isn't designed to deal with terrorist insurgents or African warlords.  It's for dealing with bigger threats like China.  It's generally considered a good idea to have the resources to deal with an enemy before they attack.
 
2020-05-23 2:24:24 AM  
1 vote:
Came looking for references to Jonny Quest - either 'Mystery of the Lizard Men' or 'The Robot Spy', take your pick.
 
2020-05-23 1:58:10 AM  
1 vote:

DubtodaIll: Sure has been a lot of saber rattling going on lately.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-23 1:20:57 AM  
1 vote:

2wolves: So the tech savvy op for countries continue research into UMVs, Unmanned Marine Vehicles.  Lasers don't penetrate water.


Good thing this is designed for UAV's, which are in development, vice research, by those tech savvy countries
 
2020-05-23 1:14:40 AM  
1 vote:
Sure has been a lot of saber rattling going on lately.
 
2020-05-23 1:14:13 AM  
1 vote:
So the tech savvy op for countries continue research into UMVs, Unmanned Marine Vehicles.  Lasers don't penetrate water.
 
2020-05-22 11:20:20 PM  
1 vote:
Neat trick. Now let's try a jet-powered drone simulating a cruise middle. Then follow that with a ballistic missile intercept.
 
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