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(Cracked)   Celebrity encounter screw-ups. Tell us about yours   (cracked.com) divider line
    More: CSB, LeVar Burton, Username, Cracked Facebook fans, Thanks, celebrity meets, account, bathroom stall, Troy  
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393 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 22 May 2020 at 6:02 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-05-22 2:56:47 AM  
Not mine, but an ex of mine met Spalding Grey once.  She was a huge fan but also kinda drunk, so after gushing for a minute she asked of his companion "Is this your woman?"
 
2020-05-22 2:58:50 AM  
I met Richard James (Aphex Twin) at a club in London.  I was high on E so I gushed about how big a fan I was and he backed away slowly from the crazy person.  Though later he came up to me and apologized (?) and we had a nice chat.
 
2020-05-22 3:32:24 AM  
I don't really have one but my sister does. 

She's waiting in a bar in Philadelphia for her friends to show up, when a guy sits down next to her and starts talking to her. He tells her, clearly in a, "you know who I am voice," that he's Greg Maddux. My sister, knowing zero about baseball, gives her name in the same tone. 

After explaining who the fark Greg Maddux is, he asked if he could sit with my sister and her friends so he'd be less likely to be bothered by fans and she said OK. So my sister and her friends sit with him and have a relatively nice evening. 

But that's not the end of our story. As they make plans to leave, he has to go to the bathroom but first extracts a promise from them not to leave without him. Sure enough, they are absent-minded enough to leave without him, and he has to come running to catch up saying, "Hey! You said you wouldn't leave!" Apparently they all had a laugh about it and parted ways. 

/His good-natured reaction to everything gave me some respect for him. Didn't care much about the Braves either way.
 
2020-05-22 6:24:19 AM  
bob Dylan yelled at me for talking professional wrestling with him.  I left with the impression that he was a cranky old jew.

when a reporter contacted him to confirm the story, he said "Well, I am".

Turns out he's a pretty cool guy though who remembered me. :)

/thread over.
 
2020-05-22 6:42:51 AM  
Used to work in the concert industry and met quite a few famous, once-famous, future-famous, and almost-famous people. Some were really cool and down to earth like Steve Winwood, some were gigantic gaping assholes like Steve Earle. Mostly, I avoided talking to any of them as much as possible unless it was to ask the whereabouts of their tour manager.
One night we had King Crimson play and afterwards, I ended up chatting with some guy for about ten minutes about nothing in particular, but after the conversation ended, a group of people started asking me what he was like and other confusing questions about a conversation I had barely paid any attention to while it was happening. Apparently I had been talking to Adrian Belew, famous for his affiliation with the aforementioned King Crimson, without knowing who he was and demonstrating my personal tendency to not really look at what was happening on stage very often unless it was a band I really liked.


I also fooled around with some lady from a reality show that, like every other reality show, I had never seen and didn't really know who she was or what it was about until I googled it the next day to see if she was as full of shiat as she seemed when she and her tiny dog sat down with me and my friends at the bar and started talking crazy and just being weird and needy, but in a "she's pretty hot so it's okay" kind of way.

I'm a firm believer in the rule about not bringing crazy home and her place was a lot closer anyway.
 
2020-05-22 6:46:04 AM  
Met Billy Campbell (Rocketeer) in a bar one night. I, drunk, started in on how gorgeous Jennifer Connelly is, and kept going on and on about it. My friend later told me "Dude, you spent the whole time basically telling him how much you want to screw his ex".

/he was cool about it, and we actually became friends
//he has absolutely nothing bad to say about her, apparently she's a great person
///unlike another actress who shall remain nameless and is a complete psycho
 
2020-05-22 6:54:28 AM  
Was once taking a whizz and noticed I was standing next to Fred Durst from the B-52's. (charity concert, early 2000s.)

Didn't pee on his shoes, if that's what you're looking for.
 
2020-05-22 6:55:13 AM  
Fred Schneider, rather.
 
2020-05-22 6:55:52 AM  

vygramul: I don't really have one but my sister does.


My sister has one too.

Early 90's, she goes home from college break with a friend from Indiana. They go out to a bar and get bothered by a random guy. After a minute another guy comes up and says "Are you bothering my wife?" and the rando leaves. She spent the evening talking to "her husband" and he told her that he was a race car driver and was going to be famous one day.

End of the 90's and the family is together on memorial day weekend and I'm watching the Indy 500 pre race. My sister points at the tv and says "That's the guy who saved me in the Indiana bar".

Tony Stewart.

She still refers to him as her ex husband.
 
2020-05-22 6:57:59 AM  
Oh! and I met one of the original engineers on the ENIAC project at my grandfather's funeral. G'ma introduced us. We had a good conversation and were going to have lunch a week later, but he croaked. :|
 
2020-05-22 7:02:23 AM  
Had a G/F who's mom did the books for a number of clubs in DC, so she grew up something of a theater brat. Evidently Morrisey is exactly as whiny and miserable as you would expect.

Oh! and I've hoisted a few beers with DC legends Root Boy Slim and Deanna Bogart. But then, they hoisted a lot of beers.
 
2020-05-22 7:07:59 AM  
Meat Loaf at a record signing...just a boring time had by all. He must have been exhausted from patting himself on the back, though.
 
2020-05-22 7:14:54 AM  
Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.

Crap. I've encountered more famous people than I knew!

And then there was the time...

Housemate and I were at Club Oxygen in Baltimore, I was there to fix a computer for the owner. I'm sipping a coffee (the only non-alcohol they had other than Red Bull) and someone tugged my ponytail.

I turned my head, and see a big dreadlocked guy wearing a "Ravens" jersey. Turned out the actual hair-tugger was a female friend of my housemate, but I was really confused for a moment thinking a linebacker was hitting on me.

Was a weird night. Got A-listed to the top level. Had a really gorgeous girl grinding on me thinking I was someone special because of where I was, and I'm like... "But I have a girlfriend! I don't want to be ground on!"

Probably should have just smiled and dealt with it.
 
2020-05-22 7:16:56 AM  
Not mine but Buddy Hackett once tried to fight my brother after my brother rear ended his car.
 
2020-05-22 7:17:41 AM  

GRCooper: vygramul: I don't really have one but my sister does.

My sister has one too.

Early 90's, she goes home from college break with a friend from Indiana. They go out to a bar and get bothered by a random guy. After a minute another guy comes up and says "Are you bothering my wife?" and the rando leaves. She spent the evening talking to "her husband" and he told her that he was a race car driver and was going to be famous one day.

End of the 90's and the family is together on memorial day weekend and I'm watching the Indy 500 pre race. My sister points at the tv and says "That's the guy who saved me in the Indiana bar".

Tony Stewart.

She still refers to him as her ex husband.


That's pretty nifty. It's nice to hear stories about famous people NOT being douchey dicks.
 
2020-05-22 7:21:59 AM  
I one saw Trump and his entourage walking through the Trump Marina in AC, and didn't run over and punch him in the throat.

It didn't seem necessary at the time.
 
2020-05-22 7:22:25 AM  
My own story:

Was having dinner at a diner in McLean, VA, with my brother and a couple of friends and we were talking about audiophile stuff. (One of my friends spends more on his stereo than I spent on my car.) At one point, we were discussing how studios record stuff and my friend had heard that they had gone away from magnetic tape. 

That's when a guy at the next table said, "Sorry for eavesdropping, but I used to be the drummer for the Starland Vocal Band and I do a lot of production work still."

He went on to talk to us about how, yes, around when Britney Spears rose to fame, studios had started recording straight to CD, which he considered a bad thing.

/When I told my gf at the time about it, when I got to the part where he said he was the drummer for the SVB, my gf said, "And he came out and just admitted that?"
 
2020-05-22 7:31:45 AM  

Snapper Carr: Not mine but Buddy Hackett once tried to fight my brother after my brother rear ended his car.


One can only imagine what a Buddy Hackett fight would be like.
 
2020-05-22 7:35:29 AM  
Early 80s I worked night shift.  XTC came to town, I ditched work to see the show.  Before it started I was playing pinball and started talking to the guy at the machine next to me.  He was pretty cool, and seemed surprised that I ditched work to see the show.

About an hour later the show started and I'd been talking to none other than Andy Partridge, lead singer for the band.
 
2020-05-22 7:40:21 AM  
It was 1979, early December.  The local PEACHES record store claimed to have Mark Leonard coming in to promote the upcoming Star Trek The Motion Picture.

Some stoop came out of the back with a rubber klingon mask on, jumping up and down like a monkey, hollering faux-Klingon, waving around a ray gun. I told him to screw off - Mark Leonard was a damned well respected, Oscar nommed actor, and no way he would be acting like a chimpanzee in a record store.

He took off the mask. Oops.

Talked to him later, though. It was cool. I asked him if he was up for the sequel. STTMP wasn't out yet by two weeks; he said, what sequel? I said, "trust me - there will Always be a sequel." I'm  glad I got that right. I'm glad he had the chance, many times, Not to be a monkey in a Klingon mask.
 
2020-05-22 7:44:55 AM  

Snotnose: Early 80s I worked night shift.  XTC came to town, I ditched work to see the show.  Before it started I was playing pinball and started talking to the guy at the machine next to me.  He was pretty cool, and seemed surprised that I ditched work to see the show.

About an hour later the show started and I'd been talking to none other than Andy Partridge, lead singer for the band.


Nowhere near as cool as that, but there was a heavy snowstorm the night of a Jethro Tull concert once, and so I put the snow chains on the truck and my G/F, sister and I made our way downtown THUMP THUMP THUMP like Rommel through Lybia.

There were maybe 50 people in the entire place. Ian Anderson sat on the edge of the stage and chatted with us between sets. He was like "Well, I'm here, and you're here" and played the entire set.
 
2020-05-22 7:48:11 AM  
1988 Democratic convention. Larry King asked me for directions to the nearest bathroom. I got tongue-tied, and he backed away from me like I was a crazy person.
 
2020-05-22 8:00:50 AM  
One of the best concerts I've been to was a complete no-show.

Laurie Anderson canceled a concert at Merriwether Post Pavillion, and since my G/F and I weren't going anywhere (waiting for her mom to pick us up) we just watched random people climb up on stage and do their thing.

It was weird and fascinating, and probably better than Laurie Anderson.
 
2020-05-22 8:15:04 AM  
Laurie Anderson - Sharkey's Day
Youtube VaBbHGKLp88
 
2020-05-22 8:48:48 AM  
wifey and I were on a SF muni train coming home from watching the pride parade.  Guy gets on, middle aged, flannel, scruffy beard. THE 'bear' look at the time.

"Sweetie,check it out.  Bob Mould's doppelganger just got on the muni"

The guy stood next to us for a while and I figured out why he resembled bob so closely.  i was too geeked out to speak.
 
2020-05-22 9:00:40 AM  

maxheck: Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.


Do you remember what year?  Not sure if it counts as a screw up but I ended up on stage with GWAR at Hammerjacks once.  My nipple ended up bitten.  Perhaps you were there.
 
2020-05-22 9:19:54 AM  

Meat's dream: maxheck: Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.

Do you remember what year?  Not sure if it counts as a screw up but I ended up on stage with GWAR at Hammerjacks once.  My nipple ended up bitten.  Perhaps you were there.


Somewhere between 1994 and 1999, that's as close as I can vouch for, based on where I was living and who I was dating.

Hope your nipple is feeling better!
 
2020-05-22 9:25:56 AM  

Meat's dream: maxheck: Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.

Do you remember what year?  Not sure if it counts as a screw up but I ended up on stage with GWAR at Hammerjacks once.  My nipple ended up bitten.  Perhaps you were there.


I got my ass kicked in the gym locker room by the original Balsac, but that was in jr. high so it probably doesn't count.
 
2020-05-22 9:30:14 AM  

GRCooper: Meat's dream: maxheck: Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.

Do you remember what year?  Not sure if it counts as a screw up but I ended up on stage with GWAR at Hammerjacks once.  My nipple ended up bitten.  Perhaps you were there.

I got my ass kicked in the gym locker room by the original Balsac, but that was in jr. high so it probably doesn't count.


I had my 15 seconds of TV fame getting kicked out of a Frank Zappa talk in '86 for carrying a weapon.
 
2020-05-22 9:31:59 AM  

maxheck: Meat's dream: maxheck: Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.

Do you remember what year?  Not sure if it counts as a screw up but I ended up on stage with GWAR at Hammerjacks once.  My nipple ended up bitten.  Perhaps you were there.

Somewhere between 1994 and 1999, that's as close as I can vouch for, based on where I was living and who I was dating.

Hope your nipple is feeling better!


I'm pretty sure this was in 1993 on Halloween.  And my nipple has never felt better!
 
2020-05-22 9:43:38 AM  

Meat's dream: maxheck: Meat's dream: maxheck: Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.

Do you remember what year?  Not sure if it counts as a screw up but I ended up on stage with GWAR at Hammerjacks once.  My nipple ended up bitten.  Perhaps you were there.

Somewhere between 1994 and 1999, that's as close as I can vouch for, based on where I was living and who I was dating.

Hope your nipple is feeling better!

I'm pretty sure this was in 1993 on Halloween.  And my nipple has never felt better!


But does it explode with delight?

Hungarian Phrase Book - Monty Python
Youtube YSlHnSzFLBw
 
2020-05-22 9:44:49 AM  
I was in Las Vegas in May 2007, and stopped to get some ice cream while walking around. I hopped in line at a Haagen-Dazs kiosk and quickly discovered that I was standing behind Howie Mandel, who was now two years into his "Deal or No Deal" tenure. I was trying to think of what to say, when suddenly it hit me.

I tapped him on the shoulder (my fatal mistake). He turned slightly to look at me, an annoyed look on his face, and I said, "Mr. Mandel? Huge fan of Bobby's World!"

..which was totally true. I was born in '86, grew up in the '90s, and I loved that cartoon. Still looking like he had just smelled a fart, he grunted, "Thanks," and turned back around, moving forward a foot or two.

While I was slightly let down that the interaction ended there, I later learned that he is a HUGE germaphobe, and likely resented that I touched him at all. Obviously, he owed me nothing, but I wish I had known the germ thing going into the interaction, such that I might have garnered a slightly more favorable response from Howie.

Live and learn, I guess.
 
2020-05-22 9:46:35 AM  

Meat's dream: maxheck: Meat's dream: maxheck: Oh! And I got really stoned with GWAR backstage at Hammerjacks, my G/F had just interviewed David Brockie.

Do you remember what year?  Not sure if it counts as a screw up but I ended up on stage with GWAR at Hammerjacks once.  My nipple ended up bitten.  Perhaps you were there.

Somewhere between 1994 and 1999, that's as close as I can vouch for, based on where I was living and who I was dating.

Hope your nipple is feeling better!

I'm pretty sure this was in 1993 on Halloween.  And my nipple has never felt better!


A GWAR halloween show had to be something....
 
2020-05-22 9:48:12 AM  

Heamer: I was in Las Vegas in May 2007, and stopped to get some ice cream while walking around. I hopped in line at a Haagen-Dazs kiosk and quickly discovered that I was standing behind Howie Mandel, who was now two years into his "Deal or No Deal" tenure. I was trying to think of what to say, when suddenly it hit me.

I tapped him on the shoulder (my fatal mistake). He turned slightly to look at me, an annoyed look on his face, and I said, "Mr. Mandel? Huge fan of Bobby's World!"

..which was totally true. I was born in '86, grew up in the '90s, and I loved that cartoon. Still looking like he had just smelled a fart, he grunted, "Thanks," and turned back around, moving forward a foot or two.

While I was slightly let down that the interaction ended there, I later learned that he is a HUGE germaphobe, and likely resented that I touched him at all. Obviously, he owed me nothing, but I wish I had known the germ thing going into the interaction, such that I might have garnered a slightly more favorable response from Howie.

Live and learn, I guess.


Did he in fact smell a fart?
 
2020-05-22 9:51:54 AM  

maxheck: Oh! and I met one of the original engineers on the ENIAC project at my grandfather's funeral. G'ma introduced us. We had a good conversation and were going to have lunch a week later, but he croaked. :|


Man oh Man the things people do to avoid having lunch with you.

/ :-)
 
2020-05-22 9:57:41 AM  

AnEasyTarget: maxheck: Oh! and I met one of the original engineers on the ENIAC project at my grandfather's funeral. G'ma introduced us. We had a good conversation and were going to have lunch a week later, but he croaked. :|

Man oh Man the things people do to avoid having lunch with you.

/ :-)


I'm just picturing a nervous, star-struck Heamer fart.
 
2020-05-22 9:58:46 AM  

AnEasyTarget: maxheck: Oh! and I met one of the original engineers on the ENIAC project at my grandfather's funeral. G'ma introduced us. We had a good conversation and were going to have lunch a week later, but he croaked. :|


Yeah, I was definitely thinking I was bad luck that week.
 
2020-05-22 10:12:15 AM  
I accidentally spilled coffee all over Tenzing Norgay.
 
2020-05-22 10:14:49 AM  

fusillade762: Not mine, but an ex of mine met Spalding Grey once.  She was a huge fan but also kinda drunk, so after gushing for a minute she asked of his companion "Is this your woman?"


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-22 10:17:55 AM  

EnderWiggnz: bob Dylan yelled at me for talking professional wrestling with him.  I left with the impression that he was a cranky old jew. when a reporter contacted him to confirm the story, he said "Well, I am". Turns out he's a pretty cool guy though who remembered me. :) /thread over.


Bob Dylan screaming "WRASSLING!  AINT!  FAAAKE!!" into somebody's face is like a true Zen moment.
 
2020-05-22 10:21:36 AM  

ElPrimitivo: she and her tiny dog


Paris Hilton?

/dude, you may want to get checked out
 
2020-05-22 10:24:56 AM  
When I was working at Barnes & Noble in the music department, this lady came in and was being kind of flirty. I was in the middle of a very long dry spell, she was pretty cute, and so I found that really fun.

She asked if I could recommend anything and so I started asking what she liked. "Oh I don't know," she said coyly and we walked together. She asked what I thought about certain bands, like how did I feel about 10,000 Maniacs.  "Well, they're alright," I said.  She giggled.

I forget what she ended up getting but my coworker was behind the counter and his jaw was on his magazine. "What the hell is wrong with you?"    "Eh, that was fun but it wasn't going anywhere."   "NO, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THAT WAS?"

So yeah, there's my celebrity story: I flirted with Natalie Merchant.
 
2020-05-22 10:25:04 AM  

Snapper Carr: Not mine but Buddy Hackett once tried to fight my brother after my brother rear ended his car.


Was Buddy driving the Love Bug?
 
2020-05-22 10:31:32 AM  
Oh, actually, same store. Another coworker was a B-list celebrity hunter, so she'd get excited when so-and-so from a TV show or made-for-TV movie came in. I had no idea who these people were or why they were in Poughkeepsie.

We hit the cafe for lunch and she got all excited that the guy in front of us in line was William Sadler. I didn't know the name, so she was like, "Death from Bill & Ted 2!". "Ooh, can we give him a Melvin?" I said a little too loudly.  He sighed audibly and said, "Please don't" but didn't turn around.
 
2020-05-22 10:31:40 AM  
I literally ran into Sophia Loren in Palm Springs. Actually, she ran into me... and apologized.
 
2020-05-22 10:40:30 AM  
Many years ago I had purchased a Hummer H1. Suffice to say I hated the damn thing. Very loud, very slow, and was huge. Anyway, I placed an ad in a magazine (that's how you sold expensive cars before the internet took off) and I got a call on the first day when the issue came out. This is how the conversation went:
Me: Hello
Caller: This is Arnold Schwarzenegger. I want to buy your hummer.
Me (thinking it was my friend Ted pranking me): Go fark yourself, Ted. I then hung up

Phone rings again moments later
Me: Hello
Caller: This really is Arnold Schwarzenegger not any Ted. Please call me back on this number. (It was a Washington DC number)

I called the number. It was a production company.
Me: Arnold Schwarzenegger , please
Receptionist (I assume): Who's calling?
Me: Yellow Beard returning his call
Receptionist: Hold please

A few seconds later, he picked up. It really was him and he did in fact buy my Hummer. I never met him face to face. He sent someone to check out the vehicle and then wired payment.
 
2020-05-22 10:56:18 AM  

maxheck: Did he in fact smell a fart?


I guess I'll never know :-(
 
2020-05-22 11:07:57 AM  
"She Said," Hasil Adkins, Rhino Records
Youtube tYfpV4kf_Lg


Went to see Hasil Adkins play a long time ago and ended up talking to him afterwards and offering him some of the moonshine I had with me. He was wearing a bright yellow plastic cowboy hat, pink Minnie Mouse sunglasses, Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts, and cheap flip flops decorated with a daisy at the joint. I could barely understand anything he was saying/mumbling/grumbling while we were talking except for when he reached out, poked me hard in the chest, and excalimed:
"I'm just pickin' on you cause you look funny!"
 
2020-05-22 11:09:42 AM  

Yellow Beard: Many years ago I had purchased a Hummer H1. Suffice to say I hated the damn thing. Very loud, very slow, and was huge. Anyway, I placed an ad in a magazine (that's how you sold expensive cars before the internet took off) and I got a call on the first day when the issue came out. This is how the conversation went:
Me: Hello
Caller: This is Arnold Schwarzenegger. I want to buy your hummer.
Me (thinking it was my friend Ted pranking me): Go fark yourself, Ted. I then hung up

Phone rings again moments later
Me: Hello
Caller: This really is Arnold Schwarzenegger not any Ted. Please call me back on this number. (It was a Washington DC number)

I called the number. It was a production company.
Me: Arnold Schwarzenegger , please
Receptionist (I assume): Who's calling?
Me: Yellow Beard returning his call
Receptionist: Hold please

A few seconds later, he picked up. It really was him and he did in fact buy my Hummer. I never met him face to face. He sent someone to check out the vehicle and then wired payment.


"Call me back"

Lol
 
2020-05-22 11:11:48 AM  
I have no idea what year it was but my husband was in a local bar. Live music that night.
Band is super good. Husband assumes they're a cover band. He walks up to the stage after and compliments them on a specific song and says, "hey who does that song?"

"We do," as he points to the drum set with their name on it.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the night my husband met and insulted the band Squeeze.
 
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