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(Cracked)   15 times adults soiled themselves and lived to tell the tale   (cracked.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Mind, Thought, good idea, Idea, good news, Concepts in metaphysics, Ideology, own social distance  
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7629 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2020 at 7:31 AM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-05-22 1:55:29 AM  
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Wanted for questioning.
 
2020-05-22 7:32:29 AM  
Missing from the list - When Drew got the April 2020 ad revenue projections in his inbox
 
2020-05-22 7:34:22 AM  
I'm not sure if the guy driving having the medical issue counts. Although scary he probably woke up after it happened.
 
2020-05-22 7:40:36 AM  

thesharkman: I'm not sure if the guy driving having the medical issue counts. Although scary he probably woke up after it happened.


And he had probably already soiled himself anyway due to the medical situation.

/that was actually a pretty good link for Cracked
//one slashie
///oops, now it's three
 
2020-05-22 7:42:22 AM  
i2.wp.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-22 7:44:54 AM  

thesharkman: I'm not sure if the guy driving having the medical issue counts. Although scary he probably woke up after it happened.


That one hits a little too close to home (ask me how much it costs to replace a fire hydrant and a telephone pole).
 
2020-05-22 7:47:59 AM  

FarkingReading: /that was actually a pretty good link for Cracked


I like how they're all just quiet compact animated gifs.

Which means I don't have to screw around endlessly with ScriptSafe to get things to play.

Weirdly painless.
 
2020-05-22 7:52:06 AM  
90% of those consist of "Oh, shiat, gravity works."
 
2020-05-22 7:56:05 AM  

Another Government Employee: thesharkman: I'm not sure if the guy driving having the medical issue counts. Although scary he probably woke up after it happened.

That one hits a little too close to home (ask me how much it costs to replace a fire hydrant and a telephone pole).


I am actually genuinely curious about that cost.  Also, what year so I can adjust for inflation.
 
2020-05-22 7:58:51 AM  

Another Government Employee: thesharkman: I'm not sure if the guy driving having the medical issue counts. Although scary he probably woke up after it happened.

That one hits a little too close to home (ask me how much it costs to replace a fire hydrant and a telephone pole).


I'm curious on several levels. First, I really do want to know how much it costs! Second, that sounds like a story worth reading, we need a CSB!
 
2020-05-22 7:59:13 AM  

wildsnowllama: Another Government Employee: thesharkman: I'm not sure if the guy driving having the medical issue counts. Although scary he probably woke up after it happened.

That one hits a little too close to home (ask me how much it costs to replace a fire hydrant and a telephone pole).

I am actually genuinely curious about that cost.  Also, what year so I can adjust for inflation.


In 2008 the fire hydrant was $1700 and the telephone pole was $1200 plus a Georgia Power charge of $500 to reroute the wires. The event was at a lower speed than the one in TFA, but the van was a complete mess.
 
2020-05-22 8:01:49 AM  
That masonry falling off the building almost hit that guy like a ton of...

/"Lordy, for a second there I was about to commit a pun too horrible for words."
//Oh, and someone needs to tell them what drag racing is
 
2020-05-22 8:04:05 AM  

Another Government Employee: wildsnowllama: Another Government Employee: thesharkman: I'm not sure if the guy driving having the medical issue counts. Although scary he probably woke up after it happened.

That one hits a little too close to home (ask me how much it costs to replace a fire hydrant and a telephone pole).

I am actually genuinely curious about that cost.  Also, what year so I can adjust for inflation.

In 2008 the fire hydrant was $1700 and the telephone pole was $1200 plus a Georgia Power charge of $500 to reroute the wires. The event was at a lower speed than the one in TFA, but the van was a complete mess.


That's a lot cheaper than I would have guessed. Still sucks though.
 
2020-05-22 8:12:20 AM  

fusillade762: [Fark user image 550x650] [View Full Size image _x_]

[Fark user image 480x360]

Wanted for questioning.


For that one the teens should have been charged for it if they haven't. I hate to imagine if that hit the kid and would have been killed then those teens should be tortured for their heinous acts.
 
2020-05-22 8:16:30 AM  

rick42: That masonry falling off the building almost hit that guy like a ton of...

/"Lordy, for a second there I was about to commit a pun too horrible for words."
//Oh, and someone needs to tell them what drag racing is


Agreed.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-22 8:17:43 AM  
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2020-05-22 8:17:48 AM  
I'm glad young people can major in journalism now. Otherwise they might write boring, bathetic headlines.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-22 8:21:39 AM  

kdawg7736: fusillade762: [Fark user image 550x650] [View Full Size image _x_]

[Fark user image 480x360]

Wanted for questioning.

For that one the teens should have been charged for it if they haven't. I hate to imagine if that hit the kid and would have been killed then those teens should be tortured for their heinous acts.


Easy there, Witchfinder General. Throwing objects off buildings is a national pastime in Russia.
 
2020-05-22 8:22:39 AM  
"Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?
 
2020-05-22 8:25:03 AM  
The axe thing at #11 does not look that bad. I doubt it would have required medical attention if she had been hit.
 
2020-05-22 8:25:17 AM  
Strangely I am disappointed this isn't 15 examples of people soiling themselves, like that woman on the Sally Jesse Raphael show.

/what's wrong with me?
 
2020-05-22 8:27:19 AM  

zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?


Because men are born knowing everything about racing and women are unable to learn anything about it?
 
2020-05-22 8:29:20 AM  

zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?


"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?
 
2020-05-22 8:30:03 AM  
How about the many thousands of people who have had a bullet whiz right by their head?
 
2020-05-22 8:33:02 AM  

talkertopc: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

Because men are born knowing everything about racing and women are unable to learn anything about it?


Yes
 
2020-05-22 8:35:59 AM  

orbister: I'm glad young people can major in journalism now. Otherwise they might write boring, bathetic headlines.

[i.imgur.com image 194x449]


What do you expect from a 14 year old Malaysian to whom English is a second language?
 
2020-05-22 8:36:21 AM  
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caul
The Russian phrase родился в рубашке (rodilsya v rubashke, literally, "born in a shirt") refers to caul birth and figuratively means "born lucky". It is often applied to someone who is oblivious to a pending disaster that is avoided only through luck as if the birth caul persists as supernatural armor, and in this sense commonly appears in titles or descriptions of Russian dashcam videos.


Here is one result from a родился в рубашке search. In the first clip a motorcyclist is flipped in the air in a crash but lands sitting o the moving car he hit.

Родился в рубашке #13
Youtube bnKE3mplJUs
 
2020-05-22 8:36:51 AM  

Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?


Do a little research into what "road racing" is, and then, get back to me, my dear Mensa washout.
 
2020-05-22 8:41:09 AM  
Working construction
in a huge underground concrete vault working on construction shiat
walked by scissor lift extended all the way in the air
I hear behind and above me "fark me"
feel a breeze pass by me
hear a ear piercing "CLANG"
look back and a 6ft piece of rigid steel conduit was bouncing off the concrete floor, bouncing side to side
I was so tired from working 60+ hours a week and going to school that it didnt register that I almost got my head caved in.
 
2020-05-22 8:42:47 AM  
That tiger one is terrifying.
 
2020-05-22 8:43:05 AM  

usahole: Strangely I am disappointed this isn't 15 examples of people soiling themselves, like that woman on the Sally Jesse Raphael show.

/what's wrong with me?


Fark user imageView Full Size


love a good poop thread
 
2020-05-22 8:43:19 AM  
Another person who soiled herself in public, and lived to tell about it:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-22 8:44:25 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: usahole: Strangely I am disappointed this isn't 15 examples of people soiling themselves, like that woman on the Sally Jesse Raphael show.

/what's wrong with me?

[Fark user image 680x454]

love a good poop thread


farkin' A, man, simultaneous Kaitlyn Bennett sh*t her pants posts!

(high fives!)
 
2020-05-22 8:44:30 AM  

Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?


Yes Road Racing, racing on a track where you have left AND right turns is called a road race.  I know this is difficult for some Americans who thing racing cars involves either driving in a straight line for a 1/4 mile or racing endlessly around a track that only has left turns.
 
2020-05-22 8:46:07 AM  
I'd tend to her axe wound IYKWIMAITYD
 
2020-05-22 8:51:51 AM  
CSB:  I'm driving home from work one day during rush hour traffic in my lil geo metro and there's a sudden backup of traffic... its one of those where traffic is be-bopping along just fine then suddenly all 4 lanes come to a halt. It was so sudden that i had to slam on the brakes & panic stop  and just barely avoided rear-ending the guy in front of me.

As soon as i get stopped i look up in my rear-view mirror to see if the guy behind me is going to hit me and im horrified to see a cement truck barreling down on me.. and theres no way he's going to be able to stop in time. So i clenched my buttocks and prepared for impact, but the guy was somehow able to pull off the maneuver of the century and swerve that truck onto the tiny little narrow shoulder (we were on an overpass) missing me by inches.. he couldnt have had more than about 2 car lengths to pull off this amazing stunt, and cement trucks are top-heavy and difficult to maneuver in the best of circumstances. That guy had some skills. 

I was so impressed i took down his truck number so i could call his boss and tell him what an amazing driver he had.
 
2020-05-22 8:53:35 AM  

youncasqua: Giant Clown Shoe: usahole: Strangely I am disappointed this isn't 15 examples of people soiling themselves, like that woman on the Sally Jesse Raphael show.

/what's wrong with me?

[Fark user image 680x454]

love a good poop thread

farkin' A, man, simultaneous Kaitlyn Bennett sh*t her pants posts!

(high fives!)


Nice to meet you, Eskimo brother!
 
2020-05-22 8:56:34 AM  
#15 resonates.  I used to drive a twisty mountain road 5-6 days a week to get to school and work.  One morning, I was driving to school and a huge boulder rolled down the hill and crushed the front of the car in front of me.  No major injuries but that car's engine compartment was proper crushed.

Related because of the road, not long after, I ran into a guy I went to high school with and we chatted for a few minutes then he had to run and pick up his paycheck and I headed home.  He was just a few minutes behind me on that same road going home and was killed when some jackass pulled out to pass...right in front of him going the other way.  If we hadn't run into each other, he might be alive today.  If we'd talked a few minutes longer, I might not be.  Not my only high school friend to die on that road.
 
2020-05-22 8:57:35 AM  

zimbomba67: Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?

Do a little research into what "road racing" is, and then, get back to me, my dear Mensa washout.


I'm willing to back the idiot comment, but only because of your "female" line.
 
2020-05-22 9:00:44 AM  

Mollari: Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?

Yes Road Racing, racing on a track where you have left AND right turns is called a road race.  I know this is difficult for some Americans who thing racing cars involves either driving in a straight line for a 1/4 mile or racing endlessly around a track that only has left turns.


I'm British, you screaming numpty.
 
2020-05-22 9:02:15 AM  

rick42: That masonry falling off the building almost hit that guy like a ton of...

/"Lordy, for a second there I was about to commit a pun too horrible for words."
//Oh, and someone needs to tell them what drag racing is


The same thing basically happened to me once.
I was a satellite installer for many years. One day there was a storm w 60+ mph winds and reportedly near 100mph straight line gusts. I had been working on a historic 3 story brick home. The top floor was a single room with a walkout to the second story roof.
I had just gotten finished telling the customer that it was too dangerous to work and we would need to finish on another day so I was packing up everything into the back of my van.
The van had doors that opened all the way parallel w the back bumper. About 1 ft away from the bumper was my orange traffic cone.
I tossed everything into the back hastily and then jumped in to organize my tools. The moment I jumped in I heard a massive gust and a faint crackling sound.
The roof of the entire approx 16x10 ft 3rd floor along with about 4 courses of brick stuck in the tar came down with a crash amd a massive cloud of dust.
My traffic cone was crushed flat inches away from the rear of the van where I was standing only seconds before.
 
2020-05-22 9:02:36 AM  

zimbomba67: Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?

Do a little research into what "road racing" is, and then, get back to me, my dear Mensa washout.


I've never heard track racing called road racing in the UK, where Goodwood is located.

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dic​t​ionary/english/road-race
 
2020-05-22 9:06:43 AM  

EasilyDistracted: zimbomba67: Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?

Do a little research into what "road racing" is, and then, get back to me, my dear Mensa washout.

I'm willing to back the idiot comment, but only because of your "female" line.


Unless he's a Ferengi.
 
2020-05-22 9:12:56 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-22 9:13:00 AM  

zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?


Good thing there wasn't a flare gun involved, otherwise it would have been called an AR-15
 
2020-05-22 9:14:22 AM  

Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_​r​acing

If you had only looked on Wikipedia, you could have avoided disaster, much like the people in those gifs.
 
2020-05-22 9:15:54 AM  

archeochick: That tiger one is terrifying.


Yeah.

It made me think about what Carol Baskin's first husband might have experienced.
 
2020-05-22 9:18:02 AM  
Had a close call with the draft board.
baltimoresun.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-22 9:19:11 AM  

youncasqua: Giant Clown Shoe: usahole: Strangely I am disappointed this isn't 15 examples of people soiling themselves, like that woman on the Sally Jesse Raphael show.

/what's wrong with me?

[Fark user image 680x454]

love a good poop thread

farkin' A, man, simultaneous Kaitlyn Bennett sh*t her pants posts!

(high fives!)


https://www.distractify.com/p/kaitlin​-​bennett-pooped-pants

Yawn.
 
2020-05-22 9:23:09 AM  

gar1013: Pert: zimbomba67: "Drag racing can get really ugly."   Shows road racing at Goodwood in UK.  How do I know this was probably written by a female?

"Road racing"?

Looks like a race track to me.

How do I know your comment was probably written by an idiot?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_r​acing

If you had only looked on Wikipedia, you could have avoided disaster, much like the people in those gifs.


Saw Wikipedia but disagreed and went with the English dictionary definition, which accords with my own personal experience and understanding of motorsport in the UK.

Otherwise you have to say that track racing is a type of road racing, which to me is nonsense.

Isle of Man TT is a road race. Monaco GP is a road race. Goodwood is a track race.

It might be different in the US.
 
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