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(Men's Health)   Ow my balls   (menshealth.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Belt buckle, Puberty, Doing It, Ball, Buckle, Belt, Belts, Testicle  
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7089 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2020 at 10:02 PM (4 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



97 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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4 days ago  
As a kid, 4 or 5, my  buddy gave my tricycle a push down one of those dugout concrete truck unloading ramps. Quite the sudden stop at the bottom.

/ow my balls
 
4 days ago  
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

And one for your friend...
 
4 days ago  
11 years old, hinge pin for the brake pedal of my soap box derby car snapped. Hit a hay bale at 30mph, stopped inside of 10 feet. Steering column right between my legs.

Black and blue for two months.
 
4 days ago  

beezeltown: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x781]
And one for your friend...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
From 2011, funny enough that it's in my profile.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." What's your dumbest injury? Link (pops)
thismomentinblackhistory
Right before I hit puberty I was really sensitive about the size of my penis. This was before the Internet so I really thought if I could just stretch it out it would be bigger. Half of gym class in those days was stretching so my logic was that by stretching my penis the skin would be more "flexible" and therefore bigger. I set about accomplishing my goal in a number of ways. Naturally, nothing worked, because it is almost impossible to enlarge your penis. My medical knowledge was limited to baby teeth and band-aids. Using my boy scout skills, I tied a wonderful angler's loop around my scrotum and a more simple knot on the door handle. I got as far back as possible and slammed the door: nothing happened, of course, because I simply moved with the door. So then I took the same knot and made sure it was as tight as possible around the door handle. It took a few tries, but eventually I fell directly backwards onto some pillows (like a trust fall). I missed the pillows, cracked open my head, and my penis required surgery.
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
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4 days ago  
I've taken more ball shots in the few years since I had kids then I have in my whole life previously.
 
4 days ago  
My dogs like to jump on me and usually land right on my balls. I'm pretty sure they know what they're doing.
 
4 days ago  
When i was in Elementary School we had a kid get a nasty injury to his balls.
He was climbing the soccer posts in the yard, fell from the crossbeam and his way down the hooks for the net caught his nut sack and literally ripped one of them out (supposedly, I wasn't a witness) but for years after that anytime he was kicked in the balls or hit there he'd go. FACK!! MY BALL AND NUT.
So it either was a true story or this guy really committed to the lie and kept it up at least for all of college.
 
4 days ago  
i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
This one time at band camp....
 
4 days ago  
ow my boobs
 
4 days ago  

chookbillion: ow my boobs


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
INSTANT KARMA bear gets hit in the nuts for messing with my water tank
Youtube 8kjY9sKdHlY
 
4 days ago  

Ambitwistor: [i.gifer.com image 500x385]


Ahhh, I shall never forget the delightfully springy "beyoink" sound that accompanied Hans Moleman (and likewise George C Scott and Jay Sherman) getting hit in the groin with a football. I can hear it my head like the ocean in a conch shell.
 
4 days ago  
When I was a child I didn't like to wear underwear.  After peeing I zipped up my tough jeans too quickly and caught my ball sack in the zipper.  My parents took me to the doctor and he took a pair of pliers on the zipper and yoinked it down and freed my balls.  Ever since to this day I only wear button up jeans.
 
4 days ago  
Didn't happen to me.

I was in the track team in HS. At practice one day one of our pole vaulters has what looked like a good vault. Until he didn't get his trail leg over and ended up crotching himself  square on the bar on his way down.

Never knew how bad the damage was - just that he left practice early and wore nothing but sweatpants to school for about 2 weeks.
 
4 days ago  
the pants gator got ya'
 
4 days ago  
When I was five years old, a little boy tried to kiss me, so I kicked him in the nuts - hard. It was explained to me why that was a very bad thing to do to a little boy. Many years later, he was the high school big man on campus who all the girls were crazy about. I don't think he ever forgave me - he used to give me the stink eye in the halls. Sorry, Mario. Hope the twins are ok.
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Let's fighting love.
 
4 days ago  
Once doing sled pushes at the gym, not thinking and I pushed THIS way, instead of the OTHER way.
Didn't do any lasting damage (that I know of), but it hurt

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
I posted the wrong pic:

(I pushed the direction of the arrows....ow!)
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Teenage friend of a friend was doing some roofing work. He slid down a few feet on his ass. The guy he was working with saw a trail of "ramen noodles" trail out behind him.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
res.cloudinary.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Lame stories, MH.
As shown upthread and many other threads, Fark has more...gut-wrenching...stories.

I'm fairly sure one of them had the term "degloved".
 
4 days ago  
Do not put icy/hot on your junk (even if it's a triple dog date), and remember to wash your hands between handling hot peppers and taking a wizz.

Follow those rules and your junk should be fine.

/If you want to take risks where your junk has the possibility of being crushed/mangled, that's on you.
 
4 days ago  
When I was a kid there was a little dirt track that someone had built with hills you could jump your bikes over.  One of the hills had a ditch on the other side to jump over. I went to do the jump but didnt have enough speed so my bike went front wheel first into the ditch.  I went nuts first into the T part of the handlebars.  I had to limp home pushing my bike.  My farking friends thought it was hilarious.
 
4 days ago  
My cat frowns on your lack of ball-crushing imagination. His paws of doom and 20-pound heft dance on the testes like Fred Estaire and Ginger Rogers.
 
4 days ago  
Here's a story for all you Farkers....

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sut​u​re-self/

Enjoy!
 
4 days ago  
I'd guess that 80% of testicle injuries involve doing something that was supposed to impress women.
 
4 days ago  

freetomato: When I was five years old, a little boy tried to kiss me, so I kicked him in the nuts - hard. It was explained to me why that was a very bad thing to do to a little boy. Many years later, he was the high school big man on campus who all the girls were crazy about. I don't think he ever forgave me - he used to give me the stink eye in the halls. Sorry, Mario. Hope the twins are ok.


That was a very bad thing he tried to do to a little girl.
Maybe he learnt something.
 
4 days ago  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


Twisted but fun
 
4 days ago  
Mr. Belvedere story?
 
4 days ago  
When hopping onto my bicycle, I used to swing my leg over the seat from the rear, but that turned out to create an unacceptable risk of sitting on my balls.

Yes, ladies, that does happen.
 
4 days ago  

Mister Buttons: Do not put icy/hot on your junk (even if it's a triple dog date), and remember to wash your hands between handling hot peppers and taking a wizz.

Follow those rules and your junk should be fine.

/If you want to take risks where your junk has the possibility of being crushed/mangled, that's on you.


Triple dog date??
 
4 days ago  
Idiocracy.

Next up is a oscar winning movie called 'ass'.
 
4 days ago  
the high school bully tried to kick me in the balls, and missed
I dropped to one knee and punched him flat in the pants
then I ran - he tried to chase me, but he didn't get very far :)
 
4 days ago  
pics.me.meView Full Size


Don't knock it till your try ball busting.
 
4 days ago  
20% sure I lost lefty to cancer after keeping my cellphone under my left leg while driving for a couple of years(drive normal amounts of time, just  took a few years for it to happen).
/slow ouch, one week recovery
//no clear scientific basis for my hypothesis
///surgical treatment only, been good for 10 years
 
3 days ago  
Is this fark, where we click on a Men's Health summary of a Reddit thread?

/dnrtfa
 
3 days ago  

proco: Didn't happen to me.

I was in the track team in HS. At practice one day one of our pole vaulters has what looked like a good vault. Until he didn't get his trail leg over and ended up crotching himself  square on the bar on his way down.

Never knew how bad the damage was - just that he left practice early and wore nothing but sweatpants to school for about 2 weeks.


I love the verb crotching!
I vow to use it this week, somehow!
 
3 days ago  

Mister Buttons: Do not put icy/hot on your junk (even if it's a triple dog date), and remember to wash your hands between handling hot peppers and taking a wizz.

Follow those rules and your junk should be fine.

/If you want to take risks where your junk has the possibility of being crushed/mangled, that's on you.


Please tell us more about your triple dog dates.
Perv.
 
3 days ago  

Mister Buttons: Do not put icy/hot on your junk (even if it's a triple dog date), and remember to wash your hands between handling hot peppers and taking a wizz.

Follow those rules and your junk should be fine.

/If you want to take risks where your junk has the possibility of being crushed/mangled, that's on you.


Age 6, slid down a fire pole thingy at the playground to impress a girl. Landed on my balls, such as they were, and promptly snapped my left leg midway up the femur. Heavy plaster cast for months (YEARS, it felt like), and I never saw the girl again.
My mom still tells that story, but these days drops the part about me being a "pussy hound".
1969, for you whippersnappers.
 
3 days ago  

TotallyRealNotFake: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/8kjY9sKd​HlY?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


I LOL'd. Then I noticed your username.  Now I am totally suspicious.

Some of the most painful hits for me seem to have been the ones where it wasn't more than a light brush or tap that hit just right.  You know, the one where for a split second you think "Did that hit my ba..... oh god, it did!"  **Falls into fetal position, moaning and dry heaving**
 
3 days ago  
gifrun.comView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
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