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(NBC Montana)   Three days into the virus-shortened Yellowstone Dumbass League 2020 season, and it's already Bison 1 - Idiot Tourists 0   (nbcmontana.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Woman, American Bison, bison, Yellowstone  
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3064 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2020 at 2:29 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-05-20 8:48:36 PM  
30 votes:
See, this would never happen to me. I have a special connection with nature.  The animals can sense my essence and we would become fast friends.
 
2020-05-20 8:51:55 PM  
28 votes:
The "ain't messing witchoo" reporter chimes in:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 10:41:34 PM  
20 votes:
...a female visitor was knocked to the ground and injured by a bison after approaching the animal too closely.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 9:35:58 PM  
16 votes:

ecmoRandomNumbers: GO BISON!
[Fark user image 276x183]

Although pain in the asp beat me to it. First thing that came to mind.


You shouldn't think of it as a race. Think of it as two great minds coming together during a moment of clarity in a universe filled with uncertainty.

/Although I totes had you by at least eleven minutes.
//But it's not a race.
///Nyah.
 
2020-05-20 9:09:59 PM  
16 votes:
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2020-05-20 11:01:58 PM  
11 votes:

OK So Amuse Me: The last place we lived on, an old guy was killed by a Bull he'd raised as a Milk Pen Calf, meaning the mother Cow was this guys Milk Cow and he messed with the Calf from the day he was born until the day it 'playfully' pinned him against the side of the barn and crushed him to death.


Okay Mr. Random Capitalization
 
2020-05-21 3:22:39 AM  
10 votes:
To be fair, bison are assholes.
Douchebag Bison!!
Youtube bBmLHqyXfS0
 
2020-05-21 7:17:09 AM  
9 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-21 2:08:09 AM  
8 votes:
For the bison, it was Wednesday
 
2020-05-20 8:52:03 PM  
8 votes:

born_yesterday: See, this would never happen to me. I have a special connection with nature.  The animals can sense my essence and we would become fast friends.


--Timothy Treadwell, posthumously
 
2020-05-21 6:27:16 AM  
5 votes:

Sandelaphon: To be fair, bison are assholes.
[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/bBmLHqyX​fS0?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=3]


Ray was surrounded by wolves, there was no denying it. He was going to be wolf shiat. Two of his herd past by in a blind panic, though he barely noticed them.

Behind him, as he stumbled, he heard his best friend Bob bellow, "HOLD ON RAY! I'M COMING TO SAVE YA!"

Hope reawoke within Ray as he kept staggering on, buoyed by his friend. Certainly Bob would come save him. He heard Bob charging--the gutteral bellow of a charging, angry bison into a pack of hunting wolves coming closer and closer.

Then the spark of hope flickered, for Ray remembered something critically important deep within his bison brain--something that would never be transmitted to any offspring, for Ray was doomed that day for one simple reason. Bison are very, very stupid.
 
2020-05-21 2:39:00 AM  
5 votes:

OK So Amuse Me: I worked Cattle on ranches for 25 years and I know to be on guard 100% of the time, sometimes they aren't 'coming to get you' they may be 'getting away from an arse whipping' from another Bull but you are trampled no less. Wild animals are farking wild animals and wanting to touch something wild just because it's there is pretty dammed stupid. I bet she'd be a hoot at a Rattlesnake Roundup. . .o.O


Worked on a farm for a number of years as well.  If I knew there was a bull in the field, regardless of where the herd was, I wouldn't voluntarily enter it without a spotter (preferably armed).

It's amazing how every time you look up, that damned bull is another 10-15 yards closer, but completely ignoring you...
 
2020-05-21 5:10:14 AM  
4 votes:
For the tourist, it was the best day of their lives.  For M. Bison, it was a Tuesday.
 
2020-05-21 2:35:12 AM  
4 votes:
Maybe she was being extra cautious about Covid, and mistook it for a wash hand bison?

\kicks his own ass out
 
2020-05-21 8:10:51 AM  
3 votes:

Bob Down: What's with all the bison and buffalo injuries lately? We're supposed to get locusts next.


It's early in the season, but the Murder Hornets have moved into the lead in the Nature League West.
 
2020-05-21 7:36:07 AM  
3 votes:

North_Central_Positronics: born_yesterday: See, this would never happen to me. I have a special connection with nature.  The animals can sense my essence and we would become fast friends.

--Timothy Treadwell, posthumously



Fark user imageView Full Size


I do not avoid animals, Treadwell, but I do deny them my essence.
 
2020-05-21 2:50:23 AM  
3 votes:
What's with all the bison and buffalo injuries lately? We're supposed to get locusts next.
 
2020-05-21 12:26:53 AM  
3 votes:

PainInTheASP: ecmoRandomNumbers: GO BISON!
[Fark user image 276x183]

Although pain in the asp beat me to it. First thing that came to mind.

You shouldn't think of it as a race. Think of it as two great minds coming together during a moment of clarity in a universe filled with uncertainty.

/Although I totes had you by at least eleven minutes.
//But it's not a race.
///Nyah.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-21 12:25:26 AM  
3 votes:

toddalmighty: OK So Amuse Me: The last place we lived on, an old guy was killed by a Bull he'd raised as a Milk Pen Calf, meaning the mother Cow was this guys Milk Cow and he messed with the Calf from the day he was born until the day it 'playfully' pinned him against the side of the barn and crushed him to death.

Okay Mr. Random Capitalization


What? Oh. I thought I heard somebody call my name.
 
2020-05-21 12:03:10 AM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 9:22:19 PM  
3 votes:
GO BISON!
Fark user imageView Full Size


Although pain in the asp beat me to it. First thing that came to mind.
 
2020-05-21 9:06:20 AM  
2 votes:

born_yesterday: See, this would never happen to me. I have a special connection with nature.  The animals can sense my essence and we would become fast friends...


... on Facebook
 
2020-05-20 9:21:17 PM  
2 votes:
I was hiking in Yellowstone, and accidentally found myself about 10 feet from a lone bison that was relaxing in the blind spot of a small hill.  Nothing about them says, "Let's be friends!"
 
2020-05-20 9:00:56 PM  
2 votes:
I worked Cattle on ranches for 25 years and I know to be on guard 100% of the time, sometimes they aren't 'coming to get you' they may be 'getting away from an arse whipping' from another Bull but you are trampled no less. Wild animals are farking wild animals and wanting to touch something wild just because it's there is pretty dammed stupid. I bet she'd be a hoot at a Rattlesnake Roundup. . .o.O
 
2020-05-21 8:30:56 AM  
1 vote:
We went to Yellowstone last summer.  Had a great time.  We were near Old Faithful on July 15th and saw this lone molting bison, minding his own business well off the trail (took this with a 600 mm zoom):

Fark user imageView Full Size


Exactly a week later, on July 22, this happened:

Girl Tossed Into Air by Charging Buffalo in Yellowstone National Park
Youtube f2ZwTEX8pRA


Here's a screen grab:

Fark user imageView Full Size


If you look at the tuft of long hair on the bison's left front haunch, as well as the longer hair that hasn't molted off the top of his back yet, it's the exact same bison we'd seen a week earlier.  Except we were smart enough to keep our kids a couple hundred yards away from him.

/why yes, I *do* feel superior
 
2020-05-21 7:39:36 AM  
1 vote:

BolloxReader: bonus cow patties


Jim Stafford Sings Cow Patti Branson, MO
Youtube OpapdB-bCFI


What bonus Cow Patty might sound like.
 
2020-05-21 3:53:24 AM  
1 vote:

Sandelaphon: To be fair, bison are assholes.
[YouTube video: Douchebag Bison!!]


Bye, son.
 
2020-05-21 3:04:10 AM  
1 vote:

Bob Down: What's with all the bison and buffalo injuries lately? We're supposed to get locusts next.


No, we've been upgraded to "plague of bison" this year. It comes with bonus cow patties all over the landscape after they eat and trample everything else.

Also, it's far more photogenic and even invisible sky wizards have to compete for attention on Instagram and TikTok.
 
2020-05-21 2:53:37 AM  
1 vote:

Bob Down: What's with all the bison and buffalo injuries lately? We're supposed to get locusts next.


They're busy on the other side of the planet. You'll have to wait your turn.

https://www.vox.com/2020/5/20/2115828​3​/locust-plague-swarm-outbreak-africa-a​sia-2020
 
2020-05-21 1:18:44 AM  
1 vote:
You just gotta throw a proper Hadouken when he tries that flaming spin attack.
 
2020-05-20 11:36:56 PM  
1 vote:

toddalmighty: OK So Amuse Me: The last place we lived on, an old guy was killed by a Bull he'd raised as a Milk Pen Calf, meaning the mother Cow was this guys Milk Cow and he messed with the Calf from the day he was born until the day it 'playfully' pinned him against the side of the barn and crushed him to death.

Okay Mr. Random Capitalization


Amuse Me might be dictating to Siri. Every time you stop and start again it gives you a capital letter, and occasionally you get an all caps word for no apparent reason. Some days - not every day - it starts every sentence with a lower case letter. Bison are smarter than Siri.
 
2020-05-20 9:55:59 PM  
1 vote:
The President does this "pardoning of the Thankgiving turkey" every year, I wonder if the Prez could pardon a wild animal for real? I get tired of reading how the cougar-bear-moose was euthanized after Darwinning some dumbass.
 
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