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(The Hill)   God sends a message to two churches in the south that reopened and defied common sense   (thehill.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Holy Spirit, Christianity, Spirit, Bishop, Trinity, Christian terms, Churches of Christ, God the Father  
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4838 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 20 May 2020 at 9:20 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



92 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-05-20 8:58:14 AM  
God loves coronavirus because it keeps Heaven packed with fresh souls.
 
2020-05-20 8:59:20 AM  
New altar, who dis?
 
2020-05-20 9:04:37 AM  
And Trump is signing EOs to open everything and get everyone to work even though nothing has changed.
 
2020-05-20 9:11:13 AM  
The sad thing is that, if the article is to be believed, they tried following the guidelines for sanitizing and distancing.

But without broad testing, it may have done no good.

And we've got most of the states either doing the same thing or at least giving lip service to it.

We're going to need a lot of luck to avoid another spike.
 
2020-05-20 9:19:25 AM  
However, the church said it ultimately decided to discontinue all in-person services last week "until further notice in an effort of extreme caution for the safety and well-being of our families."

I find their lack of faith disturbing.
 
2020-05-20 9:22:52 AM  
This is some God-Smiting stuff. God is punishing "Christians" for claiming to be Actual Christians while being douchebags with cross bling.
 
2020-05-20 9:23:34 AM  
Maybe they should pray harder.
 
2020-05-20 9:26:59 AM  

perigee: This is some God-Smiting stuff. God is punishing "Christians" for claiming to be Actual Christians while being douchebags with cross bling.


God's "crown"-ing achievement
 
2020-05-20 9:28:41 AM  
I thought Jesus was their vaccine?
 
2020-05-20 9:29:51 AM  
Have they found a way to blame this on the gheys yet?
 
2020-05-20 9:30:49 AM  

Jake Havechek: God loves coronavirus because it keeps Heaven packed with fresh souls.


God was here before the COVID! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the COVID.
 
2020-05-20 9:31:06 AM  

Mugato: And Trump is signing EOs to open everything and get everyone to work even though nothing has changed.


The government can cut off someone's unemployment for not going back to work (they say). What do they cut off if people refuse to go back to church?
 
2020-05-20 9:32:52 AM  
They must not have handled snakes, spoken in tongues or drank poison with enough sincerity.
 
2020-05-20 9:33:02 AM  
If people in your church are becoming infected with COVID-19 then obviously God does not favor your church.  You should start attending a church where there are no COVID-19 cases.  God obviously favors those people.

Start with the faith healers.
 
2020-05-20 9:33:24 AM  
Since this keeps hitting christian houses of worship and not other religions, can we assume that christians are just filthy people?

Or maybe it's spreading due to the sheer volume of molesting that the youth pastors do?
 
2020-05-20 9:33:41 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 9:34:06 AM  

gunsmack: Have they found a way to blame this on the gheys yet?


We've been displaced by the Chinese.  Farking gentrification.
 
2020-05-20 9:35:13 AM  
So, an important part of salesmanship is that you need to be in front of your client to sell them.  That's how you close the deal.  They won't give you nearly as much money online.  You have to be physically in front of them or you can't close.  Preachers have to have the customers come in or else they can't make rent.  This will continue.
 
2020-05-20 9:36:14 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size

i.imgflip.comView Full Size

 
2020-05-20 9:36:57 AM  

Diogenes: gunsmack: Have they found a way to blame this on the gheys yet?

We've been displaced by the Chinese.  Farking gentrification.


Cheer up. Hurricane season is starting. You'll be back on top in no time.
 
2020-05-20 9:37:05 AM  

gunsmack: Have they found a way to blame this on the gheys yet?


I'm pretty sure it was God telling them this is because they let abortions happen on this planet.
 
2020-05-20 9:38:09 AM  

Rapmaster2000: So, an important part of salesmanship is that you need to be in front of your client to sell them.  That's how you close the deal.  They won't give you nearly as much money online.  You have to be physically in front of them or you can't close.  Preachers have to have the customers come in or else they can't make rent.  This will continue.


There's some opportunities here though. Bezos could start buying up churches and selling indulgences at low rates to undercut the competition. When he's the only game in town, a few pennies of profit is all he needs.
 
2020-05-20 9:38:34 AM  
And lo, the Lord said "Wipe them out. All of them." And Coronavirus saw that it was done.
 
2020-05-20 9:38:59 AM  

Jake Havechek: God loves coronavirus because it keeps Heaven packed with fresh souls.


What makes you think the selfish hateful people are going to Heaven?
 
2020-05-20 9:43:24 AM  

Diogenes: However, the church said it ultimately decided to discontinue all in-person services last week "until further notice in an effort of extreme caution for the safety and well-being of our families."

I find their lack of faith disturbing.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 9:43:27 AM  

Jake Havechek: God loves coronavirus because it keeps Heaven packed with fresh souls.


I doubt many of these people are going to heaven.
 
2020-05-20 9:43:37 AM  
It's not us....it's GOD!

God works in mysterious ways

The lord is calling you home
 
2020-05-20 9:44:28 AM  

OkieDookie: And lo, the Lord said "Wipe them out. All of them." And Coronavirus saw that it was done.


God then added, "Ye shall not treadeth on THE LORD"
 
2020-05-20 9:44:43 AM  

perigee: douchebags with cross bling.


My new favorite description. Imma gonna use that everywhere. Thank you, perigee!
 
2020-05-20 9:45:04 AM  

wejash: The sad thing is that, if the article is to be believed, they tried following the guidelines for sanitizing and distancing.

But without broad testing, it may have done no good.

And we've got most of the states either doing the same thing or at least giving lip service to it.

We're going to need a lot of luck to avoid another spike.


What kind of broads would you want to test it on? Also I believe they prefer the term skirts!
 
2020-05-20 9:46:30 AM  

inglixthemad: I thought Jesus was their vaccine?


See that's their problem they should have injected Clorex!
 
2020-05-20 9:46:46 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Since this keeps hitting christian houses of worship and not other religions, can we assume that christians are just filthy people?

Or maybe it's spreading due to the sheer volume of molesting that the youth pastors do?


New York busted an Orthodox Jewish school that was still meeting. Haven't heard whether there were any COVID cases in that one.
 
2020-05-20 9:46:50 AM  
PickleBarrel:

What makes you think the selfish hateful people are going to Heaven?

So Gawd can make 'em be room mates with brown folks, queer folks, and lib folks and learn the errors of their hateful ways?

And when they repent, truly repent and see how wrongly they lived their lives, then KICK 'EM TO HELL.
 
2020-05-20 9:46:54 AM  

Diogenes: gunsmack: Have they found a way to blame this on the gheys yet?

We've been displaced by the Chinese.  Farking gentrification.


That immense sigh of relief you just heard came from the Jews.
 
2020-05-20 9:47:50 AM  

JasonOfOrillia: If people in your church are becoming infected with COVID-19 then obviously God does not favor your church.  You should start attending a church where there are no COVID-19 cases.  God obviously favors those people.

Start with the faith healers.


What about these guys?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 9:48:39 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Since this keeps hitting christian houses of worship and not other religions, can we assume that christians are just filthy people?

Or maybe it's spreading due to the sheer volume of molesting that the youth pastors do?


It's not just the youth pastors doing it. Hell there was a story about the Vatican pimping out the male choir members to big donors...
 
2020-05-20 10:01:33 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Since this keeps hitting christian houses of worship and not other religions, can we assume that christians are just filthy people?


Let's expand on your bigoted reasoning.

Coronavirus Finds Fuel in a World of Migrants

Your opinion is also based on ignorance.

New York's Hasidic Communities Hit Hard by Coronavirus ...
 
2020-05-20 10:02:57 AM  
Churches are an easy vector to spread the virus mainly due to singing.  The louder you vocalize, the more virus you spit into the air, and most church/choir singing is quite loud (and long).
 
2020-05-20 10:05:51 AM  
So one 79 yr old died and everyone else was asymptomatic, shut it down!!!!
 
2020-05-20 10:06:05 AM  
tax exempt status for these fraudsters was the biggest mistake
 
2020-05-20 10:17:07 AM  

mayochamp: So one 79 yr old died and everyone else was asymptomatic, shut it down!!!!


It's weird that you're not more concerned considering your age and weight.
 
2020-05-20 10:18:30 AM  

wejash: The sad thing is that, if the article is to be believed, they tried following the guidelines for sanitizing and distancing.

But without broad testing, it may have done no good.

And we've got most of the states either doing the same thing or at least giving lip service to it.

We're going to need a lot of luck to avoid another spike.


The thing is, it doesn't matter. As long as you have a bunch of people sharing the same room, you're going to have transmission. There's nothing magic about six feet when you have 40 people singing hymns in a 40 by 80 space.
 
2020-05-20 10:20:22 AM  

gunsmack: Have they found a way to blame this on the gheys yet?


That's so 2006. Nowadays it's the fault of a cabal of Democrats, Communists, and "the media".

Do keep up, old chap.
 
2020-05-20 10:22:56 AM  

DrewCurtisJr: HotWingConspiracy: Since this keeps hitting christian houses of worship and not other religions, can we assume that christians are just filthy people?

Let's expand on your bigoted reasoning.


I'm just asking questions about christian plague spreaders.

Coronavirus Finds Fuel in a World of Migrants

I didn't see anything in this article about the migrants getting sick after attending a service in what is supposed to be a clean environment.

Your opinion is also based on ignorance.

New York's Hasidic Communities Hit Hard by Coronavirus ...


This article is a month old. Why is it only spreading in christian houses of worship now? Is it because they're stupid? Filthy? We need answers so we can help them.
 
2020-05-20 10:26:27 AM  

Rapmaster2000: mayochamp: So one 79 yr old died and everyone else was asymptomatic, shut it down!!!!

It's weird that you're not more concerned considering your age and weight.


Says the 5ft 6in 300 lb diabetic.
 
2020-05-20 10:27:13 AM  

mayochamp: So one 79 yr old died and everyone else was asymptomatic, shut it down!!!!


I'd surely weep if one of your family members died of the virus.  Not.
 
2020-05-20 10:32:35 AM  

Jake Havechek: mayochamp: So one 79 yr old died and everyone else was asymptomatic, shut it down!!!!

I'd surely weep if one of your family members died of the virus.  Not.


I share your same sentiments I, could care less about that particular 79 yr old myself. So we agree not every life matters. Now that we agree some people can die, let's open up.
 
2020-05-20 10:38:14 AM  

6nome: perigee: This is some God-Smiting stuff. God is punishing "Christians" for claiming to be Actual Christians while being douchebags with cross bling.

God's "crown"-ing achievement


Well, corona does mean "crown."
 
2020-05-20 10:45:23 AM  
So God sent coronavirus because they did not respect the coronavirus?  Makes as much sense as anything else God does I guess.  More classic "open up I need to save you from not letting me in".
 
2020-05-20 10:48:19 AM  

mayochamp: Jake Havechek: mayochamp: So one 79 yr old died and everyone else was asymptomatic, shut it down!!!!

I'd surely weep if one of your family members died of the virus.  Not.

I share your same sentiments I, could care less about that particular 79 yr old myself. So we agree not every life matters. Now that we agree some people can die, let's open up.



Reported for harassment of my eyes.
 
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