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(Fark)   How do you know when you're a True Farker?   (fark.com) divider line
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164 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 20 May 2020 at 5:42 AM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-05-19 11:43:16 PM  
There are no "True Farkers"; we're all figments of our collective imaginations.
 
2020-05-19 11:57:00 PM  
When you can't get back into the last pair of pants you wore since taking them off.
 
2020-05-20 12:09:27 AM  

bobobolinskii: When you can't get back into the last pair of pants you wore since taking them off.


The question is regarding "true farker" not "fat farker". Not all farkers are fat farkers, and as I've already pointed out, there are no "true farkers".
 
2020-05-20 2:30:29 AM  
You start by not caring what other farkers think about you.
 
2020-05-20 3:45:21 AM  
When you have all the badges possible after your name. Because this is all you do all day so why not throw a few bucks to the dumb@ss who hasn't raised Totalfark membership costs ever.

Also:

Be cynical
Be able to argue, at the drop of a hat, what irony is or isn't (being right doesn't matter)
Hate bicyclists
Know who the internet dentist and that crazy bastard from PDX was
Assign a farkie color to yourself so you can more easily spot your posts
Avoid this site on April 1 because the regular filter is bad enough
On the rare occasion you get a headline greened, excitedly tell your SO so they can roll their eyes at you and ask "Don't you have a job?"
Live and die by the number of smart/funny votes you get
Hate bicyclists
Turn a 30-post thread into a 100-post thread because you and some other jack@ss are arguing and are responsible for the last 70 posts
Look at people with 100s of green lights and curse their mothers
Hate bicyclists
Check out all the profiles of Farkers you assume are female

/95% of my time is spent in the pol-tab so I might be jaded
//100% of my Total Farking is spent in the green lighted section
///Drew should charge more for access to the green lighted section
 
2020-05-20 4:02:04 AM  
You never will. You will be acknowledged in death by people you may never have realized you existed to.
 
2020-05-20 4:12:18 AM  
There is no fark side. It's all fark.
 
2020-05-20 4:19:25 AM  
When you try to curse IRL and say "Fark" out of habit.
 
2020-05-20 5:03:43 AM  
When you can call someone a stupid bastard on the Poltab yet kick in to their GoFundMe to save their goddam cat.
 
2020-05-20 5:57:57 AM  

Uncle Eazy: When you have all the badges possible after your name. Because this is all you do all day so why not throw a few bucks to the dumb@ss who hasn't raised Totalfark membership costs ever.

Also:

Be cynical
Be able to argue, at the drop of a hat, what irony is or isn't (being right doesn't matter)
Hate bicyclists
Know who the internet dentist and that crazy bastard from PDX was
Assign a farkie color to yourself so you can more easily spot your posts
Avoid this site on April 1 because the regular filter is bad enough
On the rare occasion you get a headline greened, excitedly tell your SO so they can roll their eyes at you and ask "Don't you have a job?"
Live and die by the number of smart/funny votes you get
Hate bicyclists
Turn a 30-post thread into a 100-post thread because you and some other jack@ss are arguing and are responsible for the last 70 posts
Look at people with 100s of green lights and curse their mothers
Hate bicyclists
Check out all the profiles of Farkers you assume are female

/95% of my time is spent in the pol-tab so I might be jaded
//100% of my Total Farking is spent in the green lighted section
///Drew should charge more for access to the green lighted section


The Commented tab owns the Greenlit tab.
 
2020-05-20 6:42:48 AM  

NotCodger: When you try to curse IRL and say "Fark" out of habit.


I was building a fence last week and kept telling my friend helping me to hurry up and get that boobies installed
 
2020-05-20 7:17:11 AM  
When PocketNinga, or the other great ones, mentions you. (Results might vary)
 
2020-05-20 7:19:06 AM  
done your mom, and I know when the correct answer is "butt stuff"

/l337
 
2020-05-20 8:08:03 AM  
You don't get over it.
 
2020-05-20 8:14:36 AM  

Uncle Eazy: When you have all the badges possible after your name. Because this is all you do all day so why not throw a few bucks to the dumb@ss who hasn't raised Totalfark membership costs ever.

Also:

Be cynical
Be able to argue, at the drop of a hat, what irony is or isn't (being right doesn't matter)
Hate bicyclists
Know who the internet dentist and that crazy bastard from PDX was
Assign a farkie color to yourself so you can more easily spot your posts
Avoid this site on April 1 because the regular filter is bad enough
On the rare occasion you get a headline greened, excitedly tell your SO so they can roll their eyes at you and ask "Don't you have a job?"
Live and die by the number of smart/funny votes you get
Hate bicyclists
Turn a 30-post thread into a 100-post thread because you and some other jack@ss are arguing and are responsible for the last 70 posts
Look at people with 100s of green lights and curse their mothers
Hate bicyclists
Check out all the profiles of Farkers you assume are female

/95% of my time is spent in the pol-tab so I might be jaded
//100% of my Total Farking is spent in the green lighted section
///Drew should charge more for access to the green lighted section


I find your level of accuracy... disturbing.
 
2020-05-20 8:25:51 AM  
I always try to be as untrue as possible, just in case.  I approach the truth gingerly.
 
2020-05-20 8:29:19 AM  
When you can't get your balls out of the slats of the chair
 
2020-05-20 8:31:17 AM  
Just spit balling here....
You are depressed with a current or past chemical dependency, suck at relationships and hate everything about America and white people?
 
2020-05-20 8:33:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


This is when you know.
 
2020-05-20 8:36:45 AM  
i'm on the list of all time greatest submitters. All time!!!
 
2020-05-20 8:43:42 AM  
You have so much username and badges that you literally break the layout.
 
2020-05-20 9:00:23 AM  
When you find a news story and the first thing you think of is " I wonder what kind of headline FARK is going to come up with?"

/sex with dead dog daycare
//FB
/// slotted chair
 
2020-05-20 9:10:38 AM  
You spend 30 minutes carefully writing and rewriting a thoughtful, thorough, meaningful response in support of your side of an argument, then erase it all and replace it with a dick joke.
 
2020-05-20 9:23:05 AM  
You have pressure sores on your ass.
 
2020-05-20 9:41:41 AM  
Our rule was that you had to have farked under the bench in the Upper Chamber.

Wait, no, that was True Demosthenian, not True Farker.

Never mind.
 
2020-05-20 9:44:29 AM  

Meat's dream: You spend 30 minutes carefully writing and rewriting a thoughtful, thorough, meaningful response in support of your side of an argument, then erase it all and replace it with a dick joke.


When you get pissed that your 30 minute thoughtful and thorough meaningful response gets 2 smart votes and 1 funny where the dick joke just afterwards gets 50 funny
 
2020-05-20 9:45:33 AM  
When you can predict the cliche that's going to be used in each thread.

And are disappointed when it's not.

/and then post it yourself
 
2020-05-20 9:57:31 AM  
You find yourself asking, "Why am I peeing in the sink when the window is right there?"
 
2020-05-20 10:22:09 AM  
When, in a moment of very dark humor, you reach out to Mark Pellingro (actor who played Lucifer on supernatural) on Cameo and have him do a bit for your daughter who is highly stress out in Michigan working in in an elderly care facility without proper PPE and say, "have fun with her".

CSB: He was awesome btw. Looked in his "Book", called her by name, and pondered how she could do her best evil and he would see her in hell. 

Daughter loved it (big fan girl)

She may have gotten the twisted gene from me...
 
2020-05-20 10:32:10 AM  
I don't think a true Farker would even bother to answer that question.
 
2020-05-20 10:51:27 AM  
True Farkers:
You're ignored when you make a clever comment, you realize that all Photoshop contests are always won by the same 4 people, and you damn sure know better than to try to break into a TFD thread. And, it always helps to post an older meme that no one has gotten around to yet.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 11:01:24 AM  
When you start dreaming about Fark threads.

And when the Bo Burnham gif guy mentions you!  ❤
 
2020-05-20 11:34:07 AM  

Stephen_Falken: True Farkers:
You're ignored when you make a clever comment, you realize that all Photoshop contests are always won by the same 4 people, and you damn sure know better than to try to break into a TFD thread. And, it always helps to post an older meme that no one has gotten around to yet.
[Fark user image 288x401]


I, for one, truly miss bevets
 
2020-05-20 11:36:52 AM  

Uranus: Stephen_Falken: True Farkers:
You're ignored when you make a clever comment, you realize that all Photoshop contests are always won by the same 4 people, and you damn sure know better than to try to break into a TFD thread. And, it always helps to post an older meme that no one has gotten around to yet.
[Fark user image 288x401]

I, for one, truly miss bevets


How about Steve B?

/hellmans, best foods
 
2020-05-20 11:37:35 AM  

ViolentEastCoastCity: When you start dreaming about Fark threads.

And when the Bo Burnham gif guy mentions you!  ❤


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 11:40:18 AM  
Ahem, you claim to have a Guiness towel but never have.
You know about penis gourds and Hruh Stampa Stampa
PocketNinja could raise the literary quality of any thread
Gorgor, wow, he just was...shudder
And Bevets was a god botherer of epic proportions

You claim Duke sucks though you don't know for sure why.
Have a bottle of Maker's Mark on your shelf but think it tastes like cough syrup

\among others
\\and slashies
\\\in 3's as is true
 
2020-05-20 12:05:43 PM  
Uncle Eazy: Turn a 30-post thread into a 100-post thread because you and some other jack@ss are arguing and are responsible for the last 70 posts

SO VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH THIS!
 
2020-05-20 12:34:56 PM  
It's when you go out of your way not to take time off from work when you need to see the next iteration of a recurring thread.  Friday Gaming Thread, what would I do without you?

It's the highlight of my week (unless Duke loses) if I'm working, and I never even think of it when I'm not.
 
2020-05-20 12:34:57 PM  
You become so fat that, ironically, only work-out pants will fit you.
 
2020-05-20 12:44:41 PM  

elvisaintdead: There is no fark side. It's all fark.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 12:50:20 PM  
I'm actually pretty close to hitting the "you have all the badges" thing. I have the other two and all the RWNJ ads + hard times for Fark are making me consider BareFark.

/My favorite RWNJ ad is "Why didn't Jesus exercise? Click here!"
//Apparently traveling to cities on foot isn't exercise
 
2020-05-20 1:20:30 PM  

I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That: ViolentEastCoastCity: When you start dreaming about Fark threads.

And when the Bo Burnham gif guy mentions you!  ❤

[Fark user image image 172x264]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 3:02:52 PM  
Wouldn't know, never met one.
 
2020-05-20 4:35:02 PM  
When you don't need to have the words in order to read the meme.

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-20 4:39:35 PM  
The truth is, I don't stand a chance.  It's something that you're born into, and I just don't belong.
 
2020-05-20 5:49:10 PM  

TwowheelinTim: There are no "True Farkers"; we're all figments of our collective imaginations.


Soooooo, the no true farker fallacy?
 
2020-05-20 11:21:30 PM  
Badges
 
2020-05-20 11:33:28 PM  
You self-report your own greenlit links because they're a repeat.
 
2020-05-21 3:24:27 AM  
You remember Imageshack.
 
2020-05-21 10:46:29 AM  

Demetrius: You self-report your own greenlit links because they're a repeat.


I self-reported my own image in an LP thread once because I hotlinked it from someone's 4chan dump site, and instead of the usual "Not hotlinking, asshat!" message, it showed scat porn. Stayed up a little while because it was so late at night Kentucky time.

I got a 24-hour ban. Was known as "the shiat incident, and only wasn't better remembered because it was so late at night.
 
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