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(MLive.com)   Nothing like mushroom hunting out in the woods this time of year. White morels, pheasant backs, hen of the woods, human corpse, black mo- wait, what?   (mlive.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Macomb County, Michigan, CHESTERFIELD TOWNSHIP, mushroom hunter, Chesterfield Township Police, 35-year-old white male, use of this site, remains of a missing person, Chesterfield Township Police Department  
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2424 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2020 at 1:05 PM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-05-18 12:18:45 PM  
Is it still considered a corpse when it is mostly bones?
 
2020-05-18 12:48:49 PM  
Hen of the woods ain't out this time of year homie.
 
2020-05-18 1:03:18 PM  
Good fertilizer.  Well, if composted properly, that is...
 
2020-05-18 1:09:44 PM  

Merltech: Is it still considered a corpse when it is mostly bones?


remains.
 
2020-05-18 1:10:21 PM  

xanadian: Good fertilizer.  Well, if composted properly, that is...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-18 1:10:30 PM  
The dead guy used to be the life of the party.  Now people just consider him a fungi.
 
2020-05-18 1:12:37 PM  

Frank N Stein: Hen of the woods ain't out this time of year homie.


Oh, they're totally out now.  Mushroom hunters just say they're out in the fall to throw the newbs off.  Morels will also be out in a couple of weeks, so be patient.
 
2020-05-18 1:14:57 PM  
Mushroom hunting in the woods sounds like a euphemism...then again, most things sound like euphemisms when you've got a dirty mind.
 
2020-05-18 1:15:07 PM  

Merltech: Is it still considered a corpse when it is mostly bones?


Remains to be seen
 
2020-05-18 1:15:29 PM  
I'm reminded of the mushroom garden in Hannibal.
 
2020-05-18 1:16:31 PM  

Merltech: Is it still considered a corpse when it is mostly bones?


Alice In Chains - Them Bones (PCM Stereo)
Youtube zTuD8k3JvxQ
 
2020-05-18 1:17:02 PM  

guestguy: Mushroom hunting in the woods sounds like a euphemism...then again, most things sound like euphemisms when you've got a dirty mind.


But never boring.
 
2020-05-18 1:17:34 PM  
Don't eat the mushrooms near the corpse.
That's probably how it got there.
 
2020-05-18 1:19:11 PM  
I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.
 
2020-05-18 1:20:26 PM  
Was this the mushroom hunter?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-18 1:20:32 PM  

labman: I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.


Why? Corpse ain't going nowhere.
 
2020-05-18 1:20:42 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: guestguy: Mushroom hunting in the woods sounds like a euphemism...then again, most things sound like euphemisms when you've got a dirty mind.

But never boring.


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-18 1:22:39 PM  
Not surprised. After all, he was searching for a fungi.
 
2020-05-18 1:29:27 PM  
Mushroom hunting you say? Best be careful!
i.imgur.comView Full Size

Some mushrooms hunt as well.
 
2020-05-18 1:30:04 PM  

Jeebus Saves: Frank N Stein: Hen of the woods ain't out this time of year homie.

Oh, they're totally out now.  Mushroom hunters just say they're out in the fall to throw the newbs off.  Morels will also be out in a couple of weeks, so be patient.



Depends on where you live. Morels have been out for a couple weeks, at least, in WA.

As a mushroom hunter myself, I see lots of bones when out wandering around in the woods but none that appeared to be human. I did find a few geocaches. Is it fair to sign a geocache you weren't actually looking for?
 
2020-05-18 1:35:15 PM  
Cowboy Bebop - Mushroom Hunting Chase
Youtube Kbxq3_qDD5U
 
2020-05-18 1:37:50 PM  

cowgirl toffee: The dead guy used to be the life of the party.  Now people just consider him a fungi.


Hey!

...dammit...
 
2020-05-18 1:39:27 PM  

runwiz: Not surprised. After all, he was searching for a fungi.


...I've got feelings too, you know...
 
2020-05-18 1:40:52 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: labman: I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.

Why? Corpse ain't going nowhere.


I am sure the guy who found them would like to continue with his day, rather than hang out with the remains for hours.
 
2020-05-18 1:47:55 PM  

guestguy: Mushroom hunting in the woods sounds like a euphemism...then again, most things sound like euphemisms when you've got a dirty mind.


I remember a particular movie called Mushroom Hunters.  It didn't have anything to do with mushrooms.
 
2020-05-18 1:47:56 PM  

Snaptastic: xxBirdMadGirlxx: labman: I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.

Why? Corpse ain't going nowhere.

I am sure the guy who found them would like to continue with his day, rather than hang out with the remains for hours.


In my experience, inconvenience to the general public has never elevated a situation to emergency in the eyes of local constabulary.
 
2020-05-18 1:52:36 PM  

1funguy: cowgirl toffee: The dead guy used to be the life of the party.  Now people just consider him a fungi.

Hey!

...dammit...


media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-18 1:54:27 PM  
I'm tempted to post the mushroom bodies scene from Hannibal, but that shiat is too disturbing.
 
2020-05-18 2:03:23 PM  

labman: Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.


Well, I did drag it pretty damn deep in the woods.
 
2020-05-18 2:11:21 PM  
What about that black mo-fo?
 
2020-05-18 2:11:46 PM  

labman: I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.


Guy was dead. Not like he was going anywhere.
 
2020-05-18 2:19:41 PM  

jtown: guestguy: Mushroom hunting in the woods sounds like a euphemism...then again, most things sound like euphemisms when you've got a dirty mind.

I remember a particular movie called Mushroom Hunters.  It didn't have anything to do with mushrooms.


66.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-18 2:23:16 PM  
I remember finding a ribcage while hiking as a teenager. It was half buried, long past decaying and full of dead leaves. After a few super surreal minutes of examination I spotted a deer skull with antlers nearby which made me realize I got freaked out over a dead deer and continued on my way.

/So glad It was the late 90s and I didn't yet have a cell phone to call the police, it would have been really awkward.
 
2020-05-18 2:36:54 PM  
I've found lots of skeletal remains in the woods. Hunters call them dead heads. I've found several Elk, deer, goats, etc.
Kinda wondered what it would be like to find human remains. Probably be humbling, a powerful reminder of your place in nature. Then of course, you'd have to call it in, lead the cops back to it, make a statement. Must be a real pain in the ass, but it'd be worth it if it gave someone closure.

I think the creepiest one I found was just a large femur cracked in half. It was still bloody and there were big cougar tracks around. Stuff like will make you pucker for sure.
 
2020-05-18 3:00:35 PM  

Toxophil: ve found several Elk,


If they are winter killed, make sure to look for the ivories.  If it was killed by a hunter, they are likely missing.  If not, then it is a bonus.

I have a collection of probably 100 pair.
 
2020-05-18 3:11:40 PM  

Jeebus Saves: Frank N Stein: Hen of the woods ain't out this time of year homie.

Oh, they're totally out now.  Mushroom hunters just say they're out in the fall to throw the newbs off.  Morels will also be out in a couple of weeks, so be patient.


I just hope there's a morel to this story...
 
2020-05-18 3:48:05 PM  

Toxophil: I've found lots of skeletal remains in the woods. Hunters call them dead heads. I've found several Elk, deer, goats, etc.
Kinda wondered what it would be like to find human remains. Probably be humbling, a powerful reminder of your place in nature. Then of course, you'd have to call it in, lead the cops back to it, make a statement. Must be a real pain in the ass, but it'd be worth it if it gave someone closure.

I think the creepiest one I found was just a large femur cracked in half. It was still bloody and there were big cougar tracks around. Stuff like will make you pucker for sure.


It was someone who had committed suicide.  The note had been found about 8 months prior when they disappeared, just no one had found the body until then.

It wasn't that far in the woods and was easily in walking distance from the persons house, so I'm surprised it wasn't found when they initially did the search.
 
2020-05-18 5:45:53 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: labman: I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.

Why? Corpse ain't going nowhere.


No, but the guy who found it would like to get back to not babysitting a body.
 
2020-05-18 5:47:46 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: In my experience, inconvenience to the general public has never elevated a situation to emergency in the eyes of local constabulary.


That's why you should tell the police to call you back if they can't find it, because you're going home.
 
6 days ago  

lack of warmth: xxBirdMadGirlxx: labman: I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.

Why? Corpse ain't going nowhere.

No, but the guy who found it would like to get back to not babysitting a body.


Babysitting a Corpse is the name of my Joni Mitchell/Rob Zombie mash-up band.
 
6 days ago  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: lack of warmth: xxBirdMadGirlxx: labman: I had a cousin who found a corpse while hunting.

I told him he missed the greatest opportunity in the world because when he called the police, they asked him to "are you sure he is dead". I told him he should have fired a shot in the air, then get back on the phone and say "yep, he's dead."

They also asked if he had tried CPR and he told them no so they asked why not and he's like his skin is coming off his bones, I don't think it'll work.

Seriously, though, it took them three hours to show up.  You'd think they would get their quicker.

Why? Corpse ain't going nowhere.

No, but the guy who found it would like to get back to not babysitting a body.

Babysitting a Corpse is the name of my Joni Mitchell/Rob Zombie mash-up band.


I suggest shortening it to Corpse Sitters.
 
6 days ago  

guestguy: Mushroom hunting in the woods sounds like a euphemism...then again, most things sound like euphemisms when you've got a dirty mind.


"Properly construed, everything is lewd." -- Tom Lehrer
 
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