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(Some Guy)   It's the National Day for Limericks / to show off your funny word tricks / you can post them in here / with nary a fear / of being mocked by a thread full of pricks   (nationaldaycalendar.com) divider line
    More: Misc, National Limerick Day, Limerick, Edward Lear, Poetry, poet Edward Lear, limerick poem, favorite Limericks, Limerick poems  
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66 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Main » on 12 May 2020 at 11:55 AM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-05-12 10:35:39 AM  
There was an old woman on Fark
Who never woke up until dark
She was still pretty hardy and knew how to party
But her favorite hobby was snark
 
2020-05-12 10:48:43 AM  
We could easily turn this into a Benny Hill thread.
 
2020-05-12 10:57:18 AM  
There once was a girl from Milpitas
Whose favorite sport was coitus
'Till a fullback one date
Made her period late
And now she has athalete's fetus.
 
2020-05-12 11:06:19 AM  
There once was a Dotard named Trump
Who led with his head up his rump
He screamed loud 'bout fake news
While made up in orange hues
As he turned the U.S. to a dump
 
2020-05-12 12:08:22 PM  
I pray that this terrible virus
doesn't infect Miley Cyrus
She'll strip off her clothes
and everyone knows
that's no longer the way to inspire us
 
2020-05-12 12:13:25 PM  
There once was a rabbi from Peru
Who was giving his wife the good screw
His wife said Oy Vey!
If you keep up this way
The Messiah will come before you
 
2020-05-12 12:14:25 PM  
And the best ones are usually feelthy.

/There was a young lady named Frost
 
2020-05-12 12:19:00 PM  
There once was a Subby on Fark
Who started a thread on a lark.
He asked for submissions
From those with ambitions
But his meter was way off the mark.
 
2020-05-12 12:25:00 PM  
There was a young lady named Alice
Who used dynamite as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas
 
2020-05-12 12:45:48 PM  
I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.
 
2020-05-12 12:54:47 PM  
A flatulent nun from La Playa
One Easter got stuffed on papaya
She honored the Passover
by rolling her ass over
and farting out Handel's Messiah
 
2020-05-12 1:16:36 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot.
I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.


Now do Hodor!
 
2020-05-12 1:34:22 PM  
There once was a girl from Des Moines
Who carried a bag full of coins
She had nickels and dimes
From all of the times
She cradled young men in her loins

/my default limerick
 
2020-05-12 2:15:19 PM  
I lived during interesting times
Found several interesting rhymes
Now I sit here
With my third morning beer
Wishing that Trump would just keel over and then Pence would catch the Rona and we'd get Pelosi
 
2020-05-12 2:35:33 PM  
There was a young man from Nantucket
Who toted his wine in a bucket
"If I carried a pail
I'd fill it with ale,
But I don't, so just f--- off and suck it."
 
2020-05-12 2:40:38 PM  
There was an old man from Corvallis
Had a daughter whose name was just "Alice"
She got a good job
Wed a fellow named Bob
They now live in an Oregon palace
 
2020-05-12 3:40:36 PM  
A recent masterpiece of mine.
By Injection Inside, or Almost a Cleaning
 
2020-05-12 3:44:38 PM  
"A Father's Advice"

I know wearing a rubber's a chore, son,
And that banging bareback is much more fun,
But please wrap it for me,
Cause I don't want to see
You get stuck paying for her abortion.
 
2020-05-12 5:56:35 PM  
Not mine but a favorite:
There was a young man from Toledo
Who had a most active libido.
To fark and to screw
And to fornicate too,
Were the three major points of his credo.
 
2020-05-13 8:20:25 AM  
There once was a man
Fom cork, who got limericks
And haikus confused
 
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