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(Pink News UK)   According to official DC comics canon, Keanu Reeves has had sex with a shark   (pinknews.co.uk) divider line
    More: Weird, Harley Quinn, Granny Goodness, Justice League Dark, Bruce Timm, The New Batman Adventures, Arleen Sorkin, Joker, The Batman  
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1513 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 May 2020 at 8:50 AM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-05-11 8:56:55 AM  
Keanu called the next day. too.
 
2020-05-11 9:09:11 AM  
And where does Dr Light fit in?
 
2020-05-11 9:20:39 AM  
I imagine the ending wouldn't have been quite as happy if it was doggy-style.
 
2020-05-11 9:28:40 AM  
just saw a few scenes of the movie a week ago- guess i missed the good stuff.

tse1.mm.bing.netView Full Size
 
2020-05-11 9:46:33 AM  

Fano: And where does Dr Light fit in?


Sue Dibny's ass?
 
2020-05-11 9:52:48 AM  
I never read the comics but to me, Matt Ryan is to Constantine what Robert Downey Jr is to Tony Stark or Harrison Ford is to Indiana Jones

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2020-05-11 10:04:41 AM  
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2020-05-11 10:13:00 AM  
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2020-05-11 10:13:51 AM  
King Shark is a sweetheart on Harley Quinn.
 
2020-05-11 10:30:29 AM  

batlock666: King Shark is a sweetheart on Harley Quinn.


Post coital glow after topping Constantine; he's magical!
 
2020-05-11 11:51:46 AM  

buntz: I never read the comics but to me, Matt Ryan is to Constantine what Robert Downey Jr is to Tony Stark or Harrison Ford is to Indiana Jones

[Fark user image image 850x480]


And Ron Funches's take on King Shark is so wrong it comes back around to perfect:

Harley meets King Shark for the first time - Harley Quinn 1x04 Scene
Youtube XMDZcYm9ukc
 
2020-05-11 11:54:00 AM  
Constantine ours one of a very small number of bisexual male comic characters, but he's pretty much never shown interest in male partners  in panel as a character, only by mention of past relationships. This is somewhat aggravating for people who want to see doing representation.

Marvel has done the same thing with Hercules and does have Shatterstar and Richter (both at least arguably bisexual) in a longstanding relationship.

There's also the joke that any character written by Keiron Gillen is, but that's just his thing.

Every third female comic character is bi. I don't think it even registers now. Hopefully the male characters reach parity some day.
 
2020-05-11 12:00:38 PM  

likefunbutnot: Constantine ours one of a very small number of bisexual male comic characters, but he's pretty much never shown interest in male partners  in panel as a character, only by mention of past relationships. This is somewhat aggravating for people who want to see doing representation.

Marvel has done the same thing with Hercules and does have Shatterstar and Richter (both at least arguably bisexual) in a longstanding relationship.

There's also the joke that any character written by Keiron Gillen is, but that's just his thing.

Every third female comic character is bi. I don't think it even registers now. Hopefully the male characters reach parity some day.


Strange that the comic writers seem so hesitant about that subject when a significant plot point of a recent season of DC's Legends of Tomorrow revolved around Constantine trying to rescue his male love interest from Hell. They were not shy about showing the two characters being intimate.
 
2020-05-11 12:08:37 PM  

Sgt Otter: buntz: I never read the comics but to me, Matt Ryan is to Constantine what Robert Downey Jr is to Tony Stark or Harrison Ford is to Indiana Jones

[Fark user image image 850x480]

And Ron Funches's take on King Shark is so wrong it comes back around to perfect:

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/XMDZcYm9​ukc]


King Shark is maybe the best character in that, and it's a show that is absolutely nailing it with every single character.  Clayface best in small doses, though.  Even the single episode characters like Maxie Zeus were amazing.

And of course.

Kite Man.

Hell yeah.
 
M-G [TotalFark]
2020-05-11 12:10:56 PM  
Did it happen at the Edgewater?
 
2020-05-11 12:21:14 PM  

likefunbutnot: Constantine ours one of a very small number of bisexual male comic characters, but he's pretty much never shown interest in male partners  in panel as a character, only by mention of past relationships. This is somewhat aggravating for people who want to see doing representation.


About two years ago Constantine's main interest was a guy who was a bar owner. I think he ended up getting him killed - which is normal for Constantine.

Speaking of that - I like it better when Constantine doesn't have a significant other. Pretty much every relationship he has falls apart and he is always working an angle or willing to sacrifice it or the person itself if need be.
 
2020-05-11 12:25:51 PM  

Dokstarr: Speaking of that - I like it better when Constantine doesn't have a significant other. Pretty much every relationship he has falls apart and he is always working an angle or willing to sacrifice it or the person itself if need be.


It's been said that anyone getting involved with John Constantine had best hope for a clean death, cause that's the best possible fate with him..
 
2020-05-11 12:28:33 PM  

Dimensio: Strange that the comic writers seem so hesitant about that subject when a significant plot point of a recent season of DC's Legends of Tomorrow revolved around Constantine trying to rescue his male love interest from Hell. They were not shy about showing the two characters being intimate.


A majority of the Arrowverse is gay and they show them being intimate all the time!

Constantine has slept with the bartender guy, Sarah, I think Gary, who am I missing?
 
2020-05-11 12:45:08 PM  

Alphax: It's been said that anyone getting involved with John Constantine had best hope for a clean death, cause that's the best possible fate with him..


ISTR that at one point in Hellblazer in the late 1990s or early 2000s, Constantine was dating a woman for 16 or 20 issues, then they broke up, and there was a follow-up issue entirely about her and how she was getting her life back to normal.  She didn't get eaten by demons or have horrible personal problems for the rest of her life.  And since it's been 15 years since I read the thing, I can't remember what her name was.
 
2020-05-11 12:54:39 PM  

danceswithcrows: Alphax: It's been said that anyone getting involved with John Constantine had best hope for a clean death, cause that's the best possible fate with him..

ISTR that at one point in Hellblazer in the late 1990s or early 2000s, Constantine was dating a woman for 16 or 20 issues, then they broke up, and there was a follow-up issue entirely about her and how she was getting her life back to normal.  She didn't get eaten by demons or have horrible personal problems for the rest of her life.  And since it's been 15 years since I read the thing, I can't remember what her name was.


My first introduction to Constantine was a cameo in early days of The Sandman, where a recently freed Morpheus seeks out to John to track down one of his ex-girlfriends, who is in possession of a magical artifact belonging to Morpheus.

Needless to say, a mortal abusing the powers of one of The Endless doesn't go well for her.
 
2020-05-11 1:11:49 PM  
Been there.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Done that.
 
2020-05-11 1:33:47 PM  
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2020-05-11 1:54:55 PM  

Dimensio: DC's Legends of Tomorrow


LoT is the superhero show that doesn't need to ask the question: "Does this character fark?" because it already knows the answer: yes. I think the current iteration of Zari is the only regular character on the show who hasn't had an intimate partner in an episode. And yes, Constantine farked Gary, which is gross because Gary is the second worst.

(Mona was the worst, obvs)
 
2020-05-11 2:04:35 PM  

t3knomanser: (Mona was the worst, obvs)


media1.giphy.comView Full Size


But even SHE slept with THIS guy:

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-05-11 2:24:48 PM  
So he cheated on the whale?

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2020-05-11 3:18:15 PM  

WordsnCollision: So he cheated on the whale?

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Come on, there's a supervillainess named Orca.  Turn in your nerd card.

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2020-05-11 3:30:03 PM  

WordsnCollision: So he cheated on the whale?

[Fark user image 500x750]


As a fundamentalist orthodox GotBackian, I fail to see a problem with this.
 
2020-05-11 3:32:33 PM  

buntz: I never read the comics but to me, Matt Ryan is to Constantine what Robert Downey Jr is to Tony Stark or Harrison Ford is to Indiana Jones

[Fark user image image 850x480]


Matt Ryan. This man, when he was called upon to don the trenchcoat again for Legends of Tomorrow, got ready for the role by reading through all his back issues of Hellblazer. So yes, he's the best.
 
2020-05-11 4:18:17 PM  
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/ oddly good comic series to boot
 
2020-05-11 4:21:46 PM  

likefunbutnot: Constantine ours one of a very small number of bisexual male comic characters, but he's pretty much never shown interest in male partners  in panel as a character, only by mention of past relationships. This is somewhat aggravating for people who want to see doing representation.

Marvel has done the same thing with Hercules and does have Shatterstar and Richter (both at least arguably bisexual) in a longstanding relationship.

There's also the joke that any character written by Keiron Gillen is, but that's just his thing.

Every third female comic character is bi. I don't think it even registers now. Hopefully the male characters reach parity some day.


I get that there should absolutely be LGTBQ characters. I also get why they may have to retcon old characters sexuality. People will say "oh create a NEW character and make them gay!", But I can't even think of a handful of characters created after 1999 that have had any recognizable staying power (talking just Marvel and DC, here). The one change that left me really scratching my head is when Iceman came out. It felt forced to me as he was always a womanizer, always in love triangles and the like. We had access to his inner thoughts through word balloons so his abrupt change didn't make sense to me. I had gay friends that also read comics explain it to me that his struggles with his sexuality manifested with his lady problems and overcompensation and obviously the word bubbles of the pre 90s comics are basically now obsolete filler. It's now a lot easier to get on board with. Anyways, I'm rambling. Still one of my favorite characters.
 
2020-05-11 4:28:53 PM  

MagSeven: Iceman


Please don't get me started about Iceman.
 
2020-05-11 4:44:14 PM  

Sgt Otter: My first introduction to Constantine was a cameo in early days of The Sandman, where a recently freed Morpheus seeks out John to track down one of his ex-girlfriends, who is in possession of a magical artifact belonging to Morpheus.


Me too... I think with the popularity of Sandman, a lot of people got their first intro to John Constantine in issue #4 of Sandman.  I eventually ended up reading Hellblazer up to issue 186 and thinking that almost everything they were doing worked on some level.  The writers changed too often and had too many conflicting visions for the character for there to be anything truly epic though, at least IMHO.  YMMV.
 
2020-05-11 4:56:39 PM  

danceswithcrows: Sgt Otter: My first introduction to Constantine was a cameo in early days of The Sandman, where a recently freed Morpheus seeks out John to track down one of his ex-girlfriends, who is in possession of a magical artifact belonging to Morpheus.

Me too... I think with the popularity of Sandman, a lot of people got their first intro to John Constantine in issue #4 of Sandman.  I eventually ended up reading Hellblazer up to issue 186 and thinking that almost everything they were doing worked on some level.  The writers changed too often and had too many conflicting visions for the character for there to be anything truly epic though, at least IMHO.  YMMV.


I'd argue Ennis's run and especially Dangerous Habits was fantastic.
 
2020-05-11 5:05:55 PM  

batlock666: King Shark is a sweetheart on Harley Quinn.


I can'tell wait for this to pop up in Season 3
 
2020-05-11 5:06:34 PM  

MagSeven: I get that there should absolutely be LGTBQ characters


I'm not sure what your conversation is, I haven't read the entire thread, but have you seen the Arrowverse?
This is just off the top of my head, I'm sure I'm forgetting people.  But many of these are also the main characters, not just periphery)

Batwoman (Kate, Sophie, Julia Pennyworth, Parker Mason)
Flash (Capt. Singh, Nora (Barry's daughter), Pied Piper, Planet X Captain Cold, I know I'm forgetting someone.... Wally?)
Arrow (William (his son) Curtis (Mr. Terrific), Nyssa Al Ghul, The Ray, I know I'm missing some again)
Black Lightning (Thunder (his daughter), not as familiar with this show though)
Legends (Sarah, Ava, John Constantine, Gary, Snart (see Flash), Charli)
Supergirl (I don't watch but I know at least her sister is)
 
2020-05-11 5:16:33 PM  

buntz: MagSeven: I get that there should absolutely be LGTBQ characters

I'm not sure what your conversation is, I haven't read the entire thread, but have you seen the Arrowverse?
This is just off the top of my head, I'm sure I'm forgetting people.  But many of these are also the main characters, not just periphery)

Batwoman (Kate, Sophie, Julia Pennyworth, Parker Mason)
Flash (Capt. Singh, Nora (Barry's daughter), Pied Piper, Planet X Captain Cold, I know I'm forgetting someone.... Wally?)
Arrow (William (his son) Curtis (Mr. Terrific), Nyssa Al Ghul, The Ray, I know I'm missing some again)
Black Lightning (Thunder (his daughter), not as familiar with this show though)
Legends (Sarah, Ava, John Constantine, Gary, Snart (see Flash), Charli)
Supergirl (I don't watch but I know at least her sister is)


I'm talking more about the comics and the complaints that old characters are "turning gay". As far as the TV properties, I'm more Marvel than DC. I've seen maybe the first 3 seasons of Flash when it comes to the Arrowverse.
 
2020-05-11 5:22:21 PM  

You'd turn it off when I was halfway across: I'd argue Ennis's run and especially Dangerous Habits was fantastic.


I'd have to find the farking things and re-read them to actually argue about that.  OTOH, if "Dangerous Habits" was the story arc where John C. farked up all the main players in Hell, got what he wanted, and got revenge on the First of the Fallen in a suitable manner, then I would say you're probably correct.  That was a high point (maybe the high point?) in Hellblazer for me.  As always, EPID and YMMV.
 
2020-05-11 5:29:27 PM  

MagSeven: I'm more Marvel than DC


I liked ALL the Netflix shows (even Iron Fist, God help me) but didn't care for Agents of Shield.

The nice thing about the gay characters on the DC shows is other than Batwoman, I don't recall it really being a 'storyline', meaning, they're just gay.  It's not, like, brought up or a plot point of the episodes.  They just happen to be people who are gay.

Batwoman was more of a big deal, I guess, because she's the first MAIN hero who is gay so there was a whole plot-line about it and her coming out to the press (Kara Danvers)

But, especially on Legends, it's nice to see them have normal relationships, dealing with normal couple issues, they just happen to be gay.
 
2020-05-11 5:35:05 PM  

buntz: MagSeven: I'm more Marvel than DC

I liked ALL the Netflix shows (even Iron Fist, God help me) but didn't care for Agents of Shield.

The nice thing about the gay characters on the DC shows is other than Batwoman, I don't recall it really being a 'storyline', meaning, they're just gay.  It's not, like, brought up or a plot point of the episodes.  They just happen to be people who are gay.

Batwoman was more of a big deal, I guess, because she's the first MAIN hero who is gay so there was a whole plot-line about it and her coming out to the press (Kara Danvers)

But, especially on Legends, it's nice to see them have normal relationships, dealing with normal couple issues, they just happen to be gay.


I definitely plan on getting back to the DC shows. No time like the present with all the time on our hands, I guess. I forgot I got a few seasons deep on Supergirl as well.
 
2020-05-11 5:46:04 PM  

MagSeven: I definitely plan on getting back to the DC shows.


Well, I'm not gonna lie.  Flash is garbage anymore.  Arrow is over.  Batwoman is new, but it has its moments.  I like Black Lightning.  And for some reason I don't watch Supergirl!  I tried the first season (and then when it moved to CW) and it was just way too 'soap opera-y' for me.
Legends of Tomorrow is THE greatest show on television.
Stick with it through the first season and you'll thank yourself
 
2020-05-11 5:50:28 PM  

buntz: I don't recall it really being a 'storyline'


buntz: But, especially on Legends, it's nice to see them have normal relationships, dealing with normal couple issues, they just happen to be gay.


I dunno, that sounds like a storyline to me. It's just, y'know, good and interesting storytelling. Working through couple issues is better when you use a cosmic nightmare Ikea as your backdrop.
 
2020-05-11 6:04:32 PM  

t3knomanser: buntz: I don't recall it really being a 'storyline'

buntz: But, especially on Legends, it's nice to see them have normal relationships, dealing with normal couple issues, they just happen to be gay.

I dunno, that sounds like a storyline to me. It's just, y'know, good and interesting storytelling. Working through couple issues is better when you use a cosmic nightmare Ikea as your backdrop.


No, I mean the story line isn't "they're gay"
The storyline is "they're a couple who are arguing about who does the dishes"
 
2020-05-11 7:00:54 PM  

buntz: No, I mean the story line isn't "they're gay"


That's not a storyline. I get what you mean, I'm really just quibbling semantics.
 
2020-05-11 7:50:18 PM  
Somethin something... Zappa
Something something... Mudshark.
 
2020-05-11 8:45:43 PM  

likefunbutnot: MagSeven: Iceman

Please don't get me started about Iceman.


Oh lets. It's weird to see old panels of Iceman being gaysplained that everything that was saying, even the stuff about how much he wanted to bone women, was just more proof he wanted luscious gay sex.
 
2020-05-12 1:01:12 AM  

Sgt Otter: buntz: I never read the comics but to me, Matt Ryan is to Constantine what Robert Downey Jr is to Tony Stark or Harrison Ford is to Indiana Jones

[Fark user image image 850x480]

And Ron Funches's take on King Shark is so wrong it comes back around to perfect:

[YouTube video: Harley meets King Shark for the first time - Harley Quinn 1x04 Scene]


Howdy!
 
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