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(Slate)   "My two sons, 8 and 10, are good, healthy eaters; they are food adventurous, enjoy veggies, eating everything we do. My in-laws live next door and give my kids kid food like nuggets instead of salmon when my boys want salmon. I'm outraged. What do?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Family, Mother, kid food, Eating, 17-year-old son, kid meals, Mother's Day, 8-year-old asks Grandma  
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922 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Food » on 10 May 2020 at 2:04 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-05-10 10:15:38 AM  
45 votes:
Salmon is expensive.

It's one thing to be "food adventurous." It's another thing to be an insufferable douche who won't eat what's put in front of them when that's all that's available.
 
2020-05-10 11:43:55 AM  
39 votes:
When we visited my grandparents, we were fed baloney and cheese sandwiched. That's what they had and that's what we ate. It was their house and we came for them, not the fine dining.

Teach your kids to be better guests.
 
2020-05-10 10:29:07 AM  
35 votes:
Eat the farking nuggets and say thanks.
 
2020-05-10 12:15:18 PM  
34 votes:
"Food adventurous" includes eating whatever your hosts are serving, as well. It's okay to like both corndogs and cassoulet.
 
2020-05-10 12:22:15 PM  
30 votes:

dv-ous: Salmon is expensive.

It's one thing to be "food adventurous." It's another thing to be an insufferable douche who won't eat what's put in front of them when that's all that's available.


I know this is Fark, but...

According to the article, the kids do eat what their grandparents give the without complain, but they tell their parents later that they prefer Mom and Dad food.

Also, the grandparents are making a deliberate point of giving the kids "Kids Food" to the point of denying the kids what they actually ask for even when everyone else is eating it.  So it's not a case of "This is all we have", it's "You can't have this food we're eating because it's Grown-Up Food".

And good god people, salmon is not foo-foo food.  For all we know they're eating it out of a can.
 
2020-05-10 12:01:30 PM  
22 votes:
stop saying "what do".
 
2020-05-10 10:37:01 AM  
17 votes:
I thought the headline was an Everybody Loves Raymond episode for a second there.


The kids seem like they'll eat what's put in front of them without complaining (or at least not directly to their grandparents), so they'll do okay.
 
2020-05-10 10:30:45 AM  
12 votes:
Stop being outraged?
 
2020-05-10 9:42:56 PM  
11 votes:

Bonzo_1116: Wendigogo: If some of you folks actually read the article, the kids are eating whatever is put in front of them, they just prefer what their own parents provide. Which not only is healthier food by a long shot, it is food that tastes good to them (not common amongst kids), and the parents gladly foot the bill for it.

Whether it's the granparents' mindset or budget, it sounds like they're insisting on feeding them crap food-  highly processed, cheap unhealthy junk that should be kept to a minimum whenever possible anyway. If it's budget, the parents can offer to provide the meals. If it's mindset- "They're kids! They should be eating 'fun foods' like dino-shaped nuggets all the time!" then the grandparents need to be talked to kindly as the writer suggests, in order to let them know this needs to change. The goal is to build strong, healthy humans, not pander to some warped idea of a kiddie diet in their own minds.

It might be that nuking some pizza rolls is easier than sautéing some salmon, steaming the asparagus, and making a light pan sauce.

Then doing all the dishes after.


Not if they're preparing a meal for themselves and then preparing a different one for the kids. That is not only more money, it's more work, and cleanup.
 
2020-05-10 6:35:27 PM  
11 votes:
My SIL did this once. She invited us over for dinner. She served steak and grilled veggies to the adults and to her teens but served my younger children spaghetti Os and cut up hotdogs. My oldest did not like it but ate it without complaint. My youngest (she has autism) refused. She would have happily eaten the steak and veggies. My SIL had a fit and called my kids ungrateful. We chose to never have dinner with the SIL again.
 
2020-05-10 3:18:23 PM  
9 votes:
Sounds like the kids are the most mature people in this story to be eating what they're served without complaint to their hosts. The in-laws are idiots for insisting that the kids eat junkish 'kid food' just because they're kids (and for going out of their way to prepare two separate menus just to enforce their kids-must-eat-'kid-food' notion), and the parents should be grateful that their kids are getting free supervision and are so well-mannered under the roofs of others.
 
2020-05-10 2:48:04 PM  
9 votes:
If I had someone taking my kids off my hands so I could have some quiet time with imaconnect4girl, they could feed them whatever the hell they want
 
2020-05-10 4:35:50 PM  
8 votes:

Mentat: dv-ous: Salmon is expensive.

It's one thing to be "food adventurous." It's another thing to be an insufferable douche who won't eat what's put in front of them when that's all that's available.

I know this is Fark, but...

According to the article, the kids do eat what their grandparents give the without complain, but they tell their parents later that they prefer Mom and Dad food.

Also, the grandparents are making a deliberate point of giving the kids "Kids Food" to the point of denying the kids what they actually ask for even when everyone else is eating it.  So it's not a case of "This is all we have", it's "You can't have this food we're eating because it's Grown-Up Food".

And good god people, salmon is not foo-foo food.  For all we know they're eating it out of a can.


I want to ask these grandparents exactly when and how kids transition from "kid food" to "adult food".  It's not like they spin a cocoon and come out with a completely different palate.
 
2020-05-10 4:29:45 PM  
8 votes:
I've never understood the concept of treating children like dogs, when it comes to food. Meals were always what mom and dad wanted. Hamburger helper? Everyone is eating it. Home made pizza. Everyone is eating it. Salads and cucumber salad? Everyone is eating vegetarian today. McDonalds, everyone is loving it.

If the kids don't like it, tough tiddies. Don't eat. Eating good food and shoveling the cheapest and unhealthy thing at them makes me think you are a piece of shiat.

Unless they request it and you accommodate them, that is a choice at least.
 
2020-05-10 2:46:11 PM  
8 votes:

KarmicDisaster: stop saying "what do".


srsly. It's supposed to be "wat do"
 
2020-05-10 10:17:40 AM  
8 votes:
Think.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-11 6:37:13 AM  
7 votes:
I always fed the kids and the grands the same thing everyone else had, except when they were really little and were still eating mush.
When  one of my kids or their friends didn't want what I prepared, they could make a PB&J and have that.

And steaks for the adults and hotdogs for kids is terrible.  If you can't afford steaks for everyone, then everyone gets burgers and dogs.
 
2020-05-10 2:06:49 PM  
7 votes:
Parent: I want my  kids to be adventurous and try everything.
Grand Parents: Here try this.
Parent: No! Not like that!
 
2020-05-10 12:32:19 PM  
7 votes:
Ask...no, demand to speak to her manager.
 
2020-05-10 5:41:53 PM  
6 votes:
No real perspective on the parents' or grandparents' side, but I will say this. Kids remember when they are being treated differently from adults. If they ask for what the adults are having and they are given a sickly sweet corn dog instead it's going to bother them, and they will act out even before the oldest is a teenager.

"Oh, the kids don't want to visit because you wouldn't share your chicken asparagus risotto last time. They could only have mac and cheese." isn't what the parents or kids will be saying, but it will be true. Not sharing non-alcoholic food and drink with an interested kid is a jerk move. It's one of the clearest signals of an adult saying, "I'm better than you." and one of the reasons I said no to going on a road trip a second time with one set of my grandparents.
 
2020-05-10 9:05:22 PM  
5 votes:
If some of you folks actually read the article, the kids are eating whatever is put in front of them, they just prefer what their own parents provide. Which not only is healthier food by a long shot, it is food that tastes good to them (not common amongst kids), and the parents gladly foot the bill for it.

Whether it's the granparents' mindset or budget, it sounds like they're insisting on feeding them crap food-  highly processed, cheap unhealthy junk that should be kept to a minimum whenever possible anyway. If it's budget, the parents can offer to provide the meals. If it's mindset- "They're kids! They should be eating 'fun foods' like dino-shaped nuggets all the time!" then the grandparents need to be talked to kindly as the writer suggests, in order to let them know this needs to change. The goal is to build strong, healthy humans, not pander to some warped idea of a kiddie diet in their own minds.
 
2020-05-10 4:50:20 PM  
5 votes:

Mentat: dv-ous: Salmon is expensive.

It's one thing to be "food adventurous." It's another thing to be an insufferable douche who won't eat what's put in front of them when that's all that's available.

I know this is Fark, but...

According to the article, the kids do eat what their grandparents give the without complain, but they tell their parents later that they prefer Mom and Dad food.

Also, the grandparents are making a deliberate point of giving the kids "Kids Food" to the point of denying the kids what they actually ask for even when everyone else is eating it.  So it's not a case of "This is all we have", it's "You can't have this food we're eating because it's Grown-Up Food".

And good god people, salmon is not foo-foo food.  For all we know they're eating it out of a can.


To an extent, American society has decided to make pariahs out of people who try to eat healthy or, worse, try to teach their kids to eat healthy. Everyone is supposed to have a kid who is 25 pounds over weight with a cola in the cup holder, a candy bar in each hand, waiting for his dinner from the McDrive Through. Parents who put a vegetable on their child's dinner plate are denigrated as uptight elitists trying to prove something.

Mix that attitude with free child care from grandparents and people are willing to over look any asshole behavior because "but sweet, little Granny."

In reality, undermining a parent; teaching a child detrimental eating habits; actively jeopardizing a child's health: Outside of intentional physical abuse, these are some of the most despicable things a person can do to a child. Parents wouldn't put up with it out of anyone if Granny privilege were not in play.

Unfortunately, a grandparent who says "Yuck, don't eat spinach. Spinach is gross. I wouldn't eat broccoli. Throw the broccoli in the back yard. If you eat kale, no one will kiss you when you grow up. Ick, that pudding looks weird. I think I saw your Dad put an egg in it. Better not eat it." seems harmless enough until the effect becomes cumulative. So, people don't realize how serious the behavior is until they are in the doctor's office with their seven year old saying "He doesn't like to stay over night away from home. Isn't there any alternative to hospitalizing him?"

At that point, the parent may realize they have kept family peace at the expense of the child's health. But then the damage is done and it won't easily be undone.
 
2020-05-10 2:58:30 PM  
5 votes:
Sounds to me like the grandparents think the expensive stuff is for adults and the cheap stuff is for the kids. Not an entirely uncommon opinion. Face it, a child's palate is hardly refined enough to truly enjoy fine dining, and while they may very well eat things like salmon and avocados, it's doubtful they really appreciate it much more than they would a plate of chicken nuggets and banana slices.
 
2020-05-10 10:39:08 AM  
5 votes:
I can picture it now : grandma's packed the fridge/freezer with nuggets, pizza rolls, tater tots, uncrustables, a pallet of Capri Suns and a gallon of ketchup. Then the kids come over.. "but Nana I want fresh caught salmon with a pine nut and wild mushroom risotto for dinner!"
 
2020-05-10 10:13:22 AM  
5 votes:
You're really weird aren't you?(not you subby)
 
2020-05-10 9:21:23 PM  
4 votes:
You know, grandparents come with different strengths and different expectations. Some may provide fine dining and require manners and skills with cutlery that far outstrip a young child's manual dexterity. Others offer hot dogs off the grill in the backyard and encourage you to drink from a garden hose.

Just....get over it and cherish the time you have together.
 
2020-05-10 4:31:06 PM  
4 votes:
I want to know why the grandparents like doing the extra work to cook boring food instead of just giving the kids what everyone else eats.  What the hell?  I guess retirement weighs a lot more heavily on some people than others.
 
2020-05-10 2:55:18 PM  
4 votes:
I am largely vegetarian, but even I am not such an ingrate as to turn down food prepared for/given to me by someone I know. More so if they are people I care about.

It isn't going to kill me to eat some meats, and I am simply thankful that someone thought of me enough to grab me a sandwich or make me a meal.*

*the only exception is my family, but that is a long story.
 
2020-05-10 2:13:48 PM  
4 votes:
Thank them for feeding your children. It has the ancillary benefit of teaching your kids manners and gratitude.

The oddest thing about your question: Why do you live so farking close to yer in-laws? That's weird.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2020-05-10 11:05:54 AM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-10 2:26:49 PM  
3 votes:

jaylectricity: The just moved in.


Yes. Again, weird.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2020-05-10 12:33:39 PM  
3 votes:

Mentat: And good god people, salmon is not foo-foo food.


It is if your cat is named "Foo-Foo".
 
2020-05-11 2:14:55 PM  
1 vote:

Needlessly Complicated: Late to the party but is talking to the in-laws not an option?


OH COME ON! WTF!

/kidding. That seems like a reasonable concept, assuming they are reasonable people.
 
2020-05-11 1:57:52 PM  
1 vote:
Late to the party but is talking to the in-laws not an option?
 
2020-05-11 12:44:11 PM  
1 vote:

Gramma: I always fed the kids and the grands the same thing everyone else had, except when they were really little and were still eating mush.
When  one of my kids or their friends didn't want what I prepared, they could make a PB&J and have that.

And steaks for the adults and hotdogs for kids is terrible.  If you can't afford steaks for everyone, then everyone gets burgers and dogs.


I should probably go the PB&J route around here but if I'm inviting people over with kids I will generally announce the food plans and offer to make something else for the kids if needed. Otherwise I assume my head count includes all of the kids eating as well. If I was unwilling to provide the kids the same food they just wouldn't be invited.
 
2020-05-10 11:51:45 PM  
1 vote:
Our two year old twins saw their seven year old big sister try a tuna roll a few months ago. Now they want our sushi instead of the kids chicken
Tempura we used to have them split. That is going to get expensive if they keep it up.
 
2020-05-10 11:27:14 PM  
1 vote:
Letter writer says they're paying for all this junk food, not the grandparents. Are they also doing all the shopping? Then they're the ones bringing all this stuff home. Stop making it available. Talk to the grandparents about serving themselves the same meals as the kids. Or send them back to their own house for the rest of quarantine.

And it IS bullshiat to feed kids garbage "because they're kids" when they'd be happy eating "grown-up food". How many parents would LOVE to have kids that willingly ate their fish and veggies? Enjoying healthy food is GOOD. Getting little kids addicted to sugar, fat and salt is BAD. I feel that eating good stuff while making kids eat garbage is pretty farked up and one of the many ways mean folks bully those beneath them.

I remember being a kid at family cook outs watching steaks and shish kebabs sizzling on the grill only to get the cheapest pigs lips 'n assholes hotdog on my plate. Getting dismissed or called greedy if I asked for steak. Bunch of jerks. I threw the hotdog to the dog and gnawed my way through the veggie platter. Jokes on them though, all their kids are hoverround huge and I'm over here enjoying my wagyu.
 
2020-05-10 3:58:21 PM  
1 vote:

slobberbone: jaylectricity: The just moved in.

Yes. Again, weird.


The inlaws moved in next door the letter writer. Probably one of those deals where they just retired, are bored and want live near "the kids".
 
2020-05-10 3:35:21 PM  
1 vote:
Keep your $ and your kids can just go hungry. Or supply the food you want them to eat instead of just $ to cover the expenses. Still too hard for you? Find someone else to watch the kids, spend an ass load of $ and still wind up with the same problems.

I'm sure getting a banana or an orange instead of a mango slice or dragon fruit smoothie will be traumatic for the kids, especially at that age. Good thing the parents can afford massive therapy bills and emotional support animals.
 
2020-05-10 3:04:11 PM  
1 vote:
https://www.livestrong.com/article/13​9​212-information-mercury-wild-salmon/


The EPA and the Food and Drug Administration, or FDA, recognize salmon as a low-mercury fish. Yet, the current recommendations are to consume no more than 12 ounces of low-mercury fish a week.

So, it's a LOW mercury level...a safe level of mercury. But don't eat more than 12 ounces a week.
 
2020-05-10 2:15:05 PM  
1 vote:

slobberbone: Thank them for feeding your children. It has the ancillary benefit of teaching your kids manners and gratitude.

The oddest thing about your question: Why do you live so farking close to yer in-laws? That's weird.


The just moved in.
 
2020-05-10 1:59:15 PM  
1 vote:

Ambivalence: When we visited my grandparents, we were fed baloney and cheese sandwiched.


I mean, no disrespect to your grandparents, but if my kids were fed baloney and then cheese sandwiched I'd be calling the cops.
 
2020-05-10 1:58:10 PM  
1 vote:
The parents are paying for the food, so it's not even like the grandparents are too cheap to give the kids the more expensive stuff...although I suppose they could be hoarding the extra helpings of the good stuff to eat when the kids aren't there.
 
2020-05-10 12:10:35 PM  
1 vote:
Move?
 
2020-05-10 11:25:44 AM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size

/Disapproves
 
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