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(KTVU Bay Area News)   The Mayor from Jaws wants you to know that despite what you've heard, it's perfectly safe to return to California beaches   (ktvu.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, California, United States, shark attack, San Francisco Bay Area, Park, English-language films, San Francisco, Arizona  
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2054 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2020 at 6:50 AM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-05-10 12:56:12 AM  
"I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a tiny predator that supposedly injured some breathers. But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time."
 
2020-05-10 2:46:45 AM  
Even worse, the shark had the 'rona.
 
2020-05-10 4:00:57 AM  
communitynotcommodity.comView Full Size

Just when the covidiots thought it was safe to go back in the water...
 
2020-05-10 6:56:36 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


We knew what sharks thought about social distancing a while ago
 
2020-05-10 7:08:20 AM  
On the good side though, losing an arm or leg would take one's mind off the whole Covid-19 thing.And you might be able to write it off as a tax deduction.
 
2020-05-10 7:21:40 AM  
He can say whatever he wants, so long as I can find out where he got that awesome anchor sport coat.
 
2020-05-10 7:22:45 AM  
The farther North you go, the more the sharks think you look like a sea lion.
 
2020-05-10 7:29:47 AM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2020-05-10 7:41:15 AM  
If he'd been properly wearing a goofy ass looking anti-Covid facemask, he wouldn't have looked like delicious shark food. So, not sure how to feel about this.
 
2020-05-10 7:42:25 AM  
13,000 Pounds of Trash is the name of my Kid Rock cover band with a Mama June impersonator for a lead singer.
 
2020-05-10 7:49:16 AM  

Porous Horace: 13,000 Pounds of Trash is the name of my Kid Rock cover band with a Mama June impersonator for a lead singer.


You want one thread up. This is the shark jokes thread
 
2020-05-10 8:29:14 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: [Fark user image 425x397]

We knew what sharks thought about social distancing a while ago


An oldie but goodie that shark.
 
2020-05-10 8:42:47 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

/doesn't approve of opening beaches
 
2020-05-10 8:51:58 AM  
Someone left an ad blocker popup right in the middle of my screen.
 
2020-05-10 8:53:19 AM  

Abox: Someone left an ad blocker popup right in the middle of my screen.


Oh wait wrong article. Damn my aim is off this early in the morn.
 
2020-05-10 9:30:30 AM  

Gyrfalcon: The farther North you go, the more the sharks think you look like a sea lion.


With all sincerity, I would like to see more evidence to support that claim that these so-called "sharks" exist. I'm only being reasonable. And polite.
 
2020-05-10 9:48:06 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [communitynotcommodity.com image 850x446]
Just when the covidiots thought it was safe to go back in the water...


Actually the mayor from Jaws was the only one who believed Brody that there was another shark in Jaws 2 so he learned his lesson. Maybe Trump will too!
 
2020-05-10 9:55:10 AM  

Gyrfalcon: The farther North you go, the more the sharks think you look like a sea lion.


The older I get, the more I DO look like a sea lion. It might have to do with living on Washington's beach.

/No! the OTHER Washington
//Washington STATE
//We're cleaner than that cesspool on the Potomac
 
2020-05-10 9:56:30 AM  

Mugato: farkingismybusiness: [communitynotcommodity.com image 850x446]
Just when the covidiots thought it was safe to go back in the water...

Actually the mayor from Jaws was the only one who believed Brody that there was another shark in Jaws 2 so he learned his lesson. Maybe Trump will too!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-10 10:00:06 AM  

Mugato: he learned his lesson. Maybe Trump will too!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-10 10:11:15 AM  

soupafi: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 183x275]
/doesn't approve of opening beaches


Well I don't approve of people who have kids at 60.

Fark user imageView Full Size



....and hitting a cop is a serious crime.
 
2020-05-10 10:26:41 AM  

soupafi: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 183x275]
/doesn't approve of opening beaches


RIP Alex Kintner
 
2020-05-10 10:31:54 AM  
?
Fark user imageView Full Size

/oh...mayor of jAws. never mind
 
2020-05-10 10:41:20 AM  

Mugato: soupafi: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 183x275]
/doesn't approve of opening beaches

Well I don't approve of people who have kids at 60.

[Fark user image 259x194]


....and hitting a cop is a serious crime.


It was the 70's, 40 was the new 60.
 
2020-05-10 10:44:05 AM  

Mugato: ....and hitting a cop is a serious crime.


Only if you're not white.
 
2020-05-10 10:47:34 AM  

Linkster: Mugato: soupafi: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 183x275]
/doesn't approve of opening beaches

Well I don't approve of people who have kids at 60.

[Fark user image 259x194]


....and hitting a cop is a serious crime.

It was the 70's, 40 was the new 60.


I've said it in other threads, but the greatest contribution to the MILF industrial complex has been smoking bans.
 
2020-05-10 11:04:11 AM  
Mugato: ....he learned his lesson. Maybe Trump will too!

miro.medium.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-10 11:43:55 AM  

Linkster: Mugato: soupafi: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 183x275]
/doesn't approve of opening beaches

Well I don't approve of people who have kids at 60.

[Fark user image 259x194]


....and hitting a cop is a serious crime.

It was the 70's, 40 was the new 60.


Fun fact: Archie and Edith were around 42 or 43 when All In The Family started.

When I was a kid, I would have guessed 60 ...
 
2020-05-10 12:49:05 PM  
And the Evironmental Protection Agency rep from the Ghostbusters woul like you to know that he does in fact have a dick.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.
 
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