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(Fatherly)   Quarantined kids climbing the walls? Starting to think risking the pandemic might be preferable to unending isolation with impulse-driven carpet monkeys? A few suggestions from the folks at Fatherly   (fatherly.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Anxiety, Fear, Anxiety disorder, Feeling, anxiety disorder, Child Mind Institute, Mother's Day, troubling time  
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1906 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2020 at 6:10 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-04-29 4:36:10 PM  
1. Build a time machine. You got the time to do it now.
2. Go back and put a $%&*# Condom on.
 
2020-04-29 6:04:19 PM  
I was taking the boy to the park to drag him up and down the court shooting hoops to tire him out, but they took the rims down so now that is not as much fun.
 
2020-04-29 6:05:05 PM  
During quarantine, I have never been more grateful for Margaret Sanger and the fact that I had a choice not to be some two-legged person's mom.
 
2020-04-29 6:14:02 PM  
I have no advice on the topic, but would like to observe that before my son was born I never imagined it was possible to love someone so much, yet also really farking hate them.
 
2020-04-29 6:16:21 PM  
send him to be babysat by carol baskin.
 
2020-04-29 6:17:29 PM  

vudukungfu: 1. Build a time machine. You got the time to do it now.
2. Go back and put a $%&*# Condom on.


I did have a condom. And my wife was on Depo-Provera.

"Improbable" does not mean "impossible".  So fark off.

/yes, it's mine.  We've checked.
//Rogersimon10's parenting tips work neatly to keep them calm
///
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2020-04-29 6:18:22 PM  
Latchkey kid, here.

LOL.


Spent whole childhood alone 16 to 48 hours a day, for weeks, from age 5 till I left home at 14 to get married.


You all are silly stay home. Five years old me did it every day for life all my childhood. Why you act like it's do hard


Seriously
No but seriously

And I bet some of you are okay with solitary confinement of inmates

I could not answer the phone. Could not answer the door. Couldn't go out. And there was no internet yet. It was 1979.


I don't know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?
 
2020-04-29 6:22:05 PM  
We were going to replace the dining room table, but then COVID-19 became a thing. Now we have an art and laundry table.

/Saved money I guess.
 
2020-04-29 6:25:44 PM  
My family is very fortunate.  My kids are a good age for quarantine (not too young or to old), we have adequate space in the house, a yard and a nice neighborhood to walk around once a day.  We have technology for home schooling and a parent (me) with the free time to supervise it.

So we have no complaints.

But I greatly sympathize with parents and kids that aren't so lucky.
 
2020-04-29 6:38:23 PM  

waxbeans: know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?


I am very sorry your abusive and negligent parents left you a social dysfunctional human being.  Most of aren't.
 
2020-04-29 6:46:21 PM  
Now is the time for Kidstoned Chewable Valium!

Kidstoned Chewable Valium
Youtube G8fbHpttc5A


/sorry about the quality. This has been around for a while.
 
2020-04-29 6:46:50 PM  
Viva Essential Personnel Childcare!!
 
2020-04-29 6:59:03 PM  

halotosis: waxbeans: know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

I am very sorry your abusive and negligent parents left you a social dysfunctional human being.  Most of aren't.


Sorry or functional?
 
2020-04-29 7:06:33 PM  

vudukungfu: 1. Build a time machine. You got the time to do it now.
2. Go back and put a $%&*# Condom on.


Or go out for a pack of smokes...
 
2020-04-29 7:32:33 PM  

halotosis: waxbeans: know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

I am very sorry your abusive and negligent parents left you a social dysfunctional human being.  Most of aren't.


The odd thing is, I've had other people tell me I grew up rich. Which is really odd. I guess to poor people, not being poor IS rich. All I know is, the rent got paid. And, Christmas was on the 29th and Thanksgiving was the biggest meal of the year. If that is being rich, how was that neglect??????. It's kinda of annoying. Rich kids didn't like me. Poor ones wanted to be jerks to me
But I'm the dysfunctional? People are trying to run out and get a virus and I'm the dysfunctional? I'm not sure what is so stressful about work, home, repeat???????? My mother did it her whole life. She worked or was asleep. She did that every day for years upon years upon years upon years. And people cry? It's called the grind. PPL been doing it since forever.wtf?
 
2020-04-29 7:34:34 PM  

InvisibleInsane: halotosis: waxbeans: know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

I am very sorry your abusive and negligent parents left you a social dysfunctional human being.  Most of aren't.

Sorry or functional?


I have no idea what you are asking... my post is full of typos, it's what happens when I am at work, using my cell phone to shiat post.
 
2020-04-29 7:34:38 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

One spoon for them....two for yourself...
 
2020-04-29 7:37:35 PM  

waxbeans: halotosis: waxbeans: know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

I am very sorry your abusive and negligent parents left you a social dysfunctional human being.  Most of aren't.

The odd thing is, I've had other people tell me I grew up rich. Which is really odd. I guess to poor people, not being poor IS rich. All I know is, the rent got paid. And, Christmas was on the 29th and Thanksgiving was the biggest meal of the year. If that is being rich, how was that neglect??????. It's kinda of annoying. Rich kids didn't like me. Poor ones wanted to be jerks to me
But I'm the dysfunctional? People are trying to run out and get a virus and I'm the dysfunctional? I'm not sure what is so stressful about work, home, repeat???????? My mother did it her whole life. She worked or was asleep. She did that every day for years upon years upon years upon years. And people cry? It's called the grind. PPL been doing it since forever.wtf?


Most people need human interaction as part of their daily lives.  Those laws you mention about solitary confinement exist for a damn good reason.  I've been at home, alone for six weeks, if I don't get a farking hug soon I'm going to... well, not sure yet.  This is torture, pure and simple.
 
2020-04-29 7:44:05 PM  

halotosis: waxbeans: halotosis: waxbeans: know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

I am very sorry your abusive and negligent parents left you a social dysfunctional human being.  Most of aren't.

The odd thing is, I've had other people tell me I grew up rich. Which is really odd. I guess to poor people, not being poor IS rich. All I know is, the rent got paid. And, Christmas was on the 29th and Thanksgiving was the biggest meal of the year. If that is being rich, how was that neglect??????. It's kinda of annoying. Rich kids didn't like me. Poor ones wanted to be jerks to me
But I'm the dysfunctional? People are trying to run out and get a virus and I'm the dysfunctional? I'm not sure what is so stressful about work, home, repeat???????? My mother did it her whole life. She worked or was asleep. She did that every day for years upon years upon years upon years. And people cry? It's called the grind. PPL been doing it since forever.wtf?

Most people need human interaction as part of their daily lives.  Those laws you mention about solitary confinement exist for a damn good reason.  I've been at home, alone for six weeks, if I don't get a farking hug soon I'm going to... well, not sure yet.  This is torture, pure and simple.


We shall see. If humanity sees the other end of this; I hope solitary confinement is completely abolished worldwide or at least here in the United States.

Because, even seeing my asleep or walking out to go to work and going to class; and repeat for years, wasn't fun. I don't know how anyone can do actual solitary confinement to another human being. It's disgusting.
 
2020-04-29 7:54:18 PM  
My kid has been pretty damn cool about the whole thing
 
2020-04-29 8:14:29 PM  

halotosis: InvisibleInsane: halotosis: waxbeans: know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

I am very sorry your abusive and negligent parents left you a social dysfunctional human being.  Most of aren't.

Sorry or functional?

I have no idea what you are asking... my post is full of typos, it's what happens when I am at work, using my cell phone to shiat post.


I'm asking if you're saying most of us aren't sorry or most of us aren't functional. It loses something if I have to explain.
 
2020-04-29 10:19:36 PM  
"What? I have nothing to do with this!"

northernstars.caView Full Size


/ Can almost count the Floyds.
 
2020-04-29 10:56:57 PM  
Nowhere in the article does it mention Benedryl or Creme de Menthe.
Shoddy reporting.
 
2020-04-29 11:03:52 PM  

Krieghund: My family is very fortunate.  My kids are a good age for quarantine (not too young or to old), we have adequate space in the house, a yard and a nice neighborhood to walk around once a day.  We have technology for home schooling and a parent (me) with the free time to supervise it.

So we have no complaints.

But I greatly sympathize with parents and kids that aren't so lucky.


How old? At 5 and 8, mine are doing pretty good but the 5 year old is getting squirrelly.
 
2020-04-29 11:40:18 PM  
Ours are in college, thank God. It's hard enough dealing with the stress of college students. If I had to deal with K-12 kids, as some of my co-workers are, I'd consider jumping off an overpass.

Our two students are having mirror-opposite reactions. One has thrown him/herself into studies completing assignments early, taking on extra credit work, and telecommuting with a school research lab. This student compulsively checks his/her GPA to make sure it doesn't slip below 4.0. This one has been crying about once a week.

The other is working retail 40 hours a week to cover for employees with children, refuses to reduce work hours to study, and is not even allowing him/herself the fully allotted time to complete on-line exams. This student failed to turn in one smaller assignment all together. At the end of the semester in his/her Sophomore year, s/he is talking about dropping out of college. We can't get straight answers about grades and don't know whether this kid has actually lost scholarship or is just freaking out again because his/her GPA fell below 3.5 again. This one explodes in yelling fits of anger about once a week.

It must be so much harder when the kids are, for instance, ages 6, 10, and 14.How do people with children who really are children handle it?
 
2020-04-29 11:42:03 PM  

Invincible: Krieghund: My family is very fortunate.  My kids are a good age for quarantine (not too young or to old), we have adequate space in the house, a yard and a nice neighborhood to walk around once a day.  We have technology for home schooling and a parent (me) with the free time to supervise it.

So we have no complaints.

But I greatly sympathize with parents and kids that aren't so lucky.

How old? At 5 and 8, mine are doing pretty good but the 5 year old is getting squirrelly.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-29 11:54:30 PM  
On a side note, my neighbors decided to have a kid party today. The parents say in lawn chairs six feet apart while about 10 kids ran around the yard playing together. These are good people too, I like them a lot, but no way I'd go near any of them right now.
 
2020-04-30 12:00:22 AM  

TenaciousP: During quarantine, I have never been more grateful for Margaret Sanger and the fact that I had a choice not to be some two-legged person's mom.


You sound delightful Karen.
 
2020-04-30 12:06:29 AM  

waxbeans: Latchkey kid, here.

LOL.


Spent whole childhood alone 16 to 48 hours a day, for weeks, from age 5 till I left home at 14 to get married.


You all are silly stay home. Five years old me did it every day for life all my childhood. Why you act like it's do hard


Seriously
No but seriously

And I bet some of you are okay with solitary confinement of inmates

I could not answer the phone. Could not answer the door. Couldn't go out. And there was no internet yet. It was 1979.


I don't know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?


Yes, but you and I didn't have to sit behind a laptop and do school work all day. Sure, we had homework during the school year, but once that was done, it was done. School didn't reach right into the home like it does now.

And you turned your homework in at school. You didn't submit it online; watch a zero appear in your online grades; have a teaching assistant swear you didn't turn it in; spend two hours proving that you did ...

Maybe the biggest advantage we had was the hopeful delusion that things were going to get better. We were all going to graduate and kick the world's ass. Racism was going to be a thing of the past by the time we were parents. Our T.V was full of Prince, Micheal Jackson, and Boy George. We knew gay rights couldn't be stopped. We didn't care that Geraldine F. didn't end up on the ticket for POTUS/VP because it was a given that a woman would be POTUS in our life times. We were going to get jobs, a car, our own places to live, and go cool places. Again, we were going to kick the world's ass. The closest thing kids have to hope now is hoping unemployment will be 10 percent or lower when they officially enter the job market.

Being a latchkey was it's own special kind of hell though wasn't it?

My father used to do pop inspections on random days and at random times. He beat the hell out of anyone he caught out of the house. Or he'd call home to catch someone answering the phone. Same result. Plus, I think our entire generation had to cook dinner and have it on the table when our parents got home from work. Twelve and thirteen year old kids were cooking dinner for the entire family. In my family, my siblings, cousins, and I were cooking for parents who'd had someone else (usually their own parent) cook for them until they were 21 years old.

Yet, their generation has had the nerve to label our generation as "cynical." It's outrageous, isn't it?
 
2020-04-30 12:22:44 AM  

Bruscar: waxbeans: Latchkey kid, here.

LOL.


Spent whole childhood alone 16 to 48 hours a day, for weeks, from age 5 till I left home at 14 to get married.


You all are silly stay home. Five years old me did it every day for life all my childhood. Why you act like it's do hard


Seriously
No but seriously

And I bet some of you are okay with solitary confinement of inmates

I could not answer the phone. Could not answer the door. Couldn't go out. And there was no internet yet. It was 1979.


I don't know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

Yes, but you and I didn't have to sit behind a laptop and do school work all day. Sure, we had homework during the school year, but once that was done, it was done. School didn't reach right into the home like it does now.

And you turned your homework in at school. You didn't submit it online; watch a zero appear in your online grades; have a teaching assistant swear you didn't turn it in; spend two hours proving that you did ...

Maybe the biggest advantage we had was the hopeful delusion that things were going to get better. We were all going to graduate and kick the world's ass. Racism was going to be a thing of the past by the time we were parents. Our T.V was full of Prince, Micheal Jackson, and Boy George. We knew gay rights couldn't be stopped. We didn't care that Geraldine F. didn't end up on the ticket for POTUS/VP because it was a given that a woman would be POTUS in our life times. We were going to get jobs, a car, our own places to live, and go cool places. Again, we were going to kick the world's ass. The closest thing kids have to hope now is hoping unemployment will be 10 percent or lower when they officially enter the job market.

Being a latchkey was it's own special kind of hell though wasn't it?

My father used to do pop inspections on random days and at random times. He beat the hell out of anyone he caught out of the house. Or he'd call home to catch someone answe ...


All while worrying that at any moment we could be atomized in a flash of light....
 
2020-04-30 12:28:30 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: All while worrying that at any moment we could be atomized in a flash of light....


That's why we had to slide out the bedroom window and go party like it's 1999.
 
2020-04-30 12:30:27 AM  
For the latchkey generation:

Prince - 1999 (Official Music Video)
Youtube rblt2EtFfC4
 
2020-04-30 4:26:33 AM  

Bruscar: waxbeans: Latchkey kid, here.

LOL.


Spent whole childhood alone 16 to 48 hours a day, for weeks, from age 5 till I left home at 14 to get married.


You all are silly stay home. Five years old me did it every day for life all my childhood. Why you act like it's do hard


Seriously
No but seriously

And I bet some of you are okay with solitary confinement of inmates

I could not answer the phone. Could not answer the door. Couldn't go out. And there was no internet yet. It was 1979.


I don't know why I didn't say something sooner. Get over it. A child did it.
And you can't???? WTF?

Yes, but you and I didn't have to sit behind a laptop and do school work all day. Sure, we had homework during the school year, but once that was done, it was done. School didn't reach right into the home like it does now.

And you turned your homework in at school. You didn't submit it online; watch a zero appear in your online grades; have a teaching assistant swear you didn't turn it in; spend two hours proving that you did ...

Maybe the biggest advantage we had was the hopeful delusion that things were going to get better. We were all going to graduate and kick the world's ass. Racism was going to be a thing of the past by the time we were parents. Our T.V was full of Prince, Micheal Jackson, and Boy George. We knew gay rights couldn't be stopped. We didn't care that Geraldine F. didn't end up on the ticket for POTUS/VP because it was a given that a woman would be POTUS in our life times. We were going to get jobs, a car, our own places to live, and go cool places. Again, we were going to kick the world's ass. The closest thing kids have to hope now is hoping unemployment will be 10 percent or lower when they officially enter the job market.

Being a latchkey was it's own special kind of hell though wasn't it?

My father used to do pop inspections on random days and at random times. He beat the hell out of anyone he caught out of the house. Or he'd call home to catch someone answering the phone. Same result. Plus, I think our entire generation had to cook dinner and have it on the table when our parents got home from work. Twelve and thirteen year old kids were cooking dinner for the entire family. In my family, my siblings, cousins, and I were cooking for parents who'd had someone else (usually their own parent) cook for them until they were 21 years old.

Yet, their generation has had the nerve to label our generation as "cynical." It's outrageous, isn't it?


🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
 
2020-04-30 4:30:50 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: ...

All while worrying that at any moment we could be atomized in a flash of light....


Oh to have a clear idea of things.
I saw Firefox (Clint Eastwood)
It really freaks me out how people are totally okay having to have our papers. Just don't call it papers. LOL.
I miss the USSR.
At least the sides was clear and had different ideas.
Now I don't trust my own fellow Americans.
🤪😥
 
2020-04-30 4:31:24 AM  

Bruscar: Mr. Shabooboo: All while worrying that at any moment we could be atomized in a flash of light....

That's why we had to slide out the bedroom window and go party like it's 1999.


😎😎😎
 
2020-05-01 3:33:22 AM  

Invincible: How old? At 5 and 8, mine are doing pretty good but the 5 year old is getting squirrelly.


6 and 11.

It *is* rougher on the 6 year old.  The 11 year old has so many more things he can do to entertain himself.

But it's so much better that it would be if either kid was 3.  I lived for the 9 hours a week they were in pre-school back then.
 
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