Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 782: "Quarantine Cookbook". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme   ( divider line
    More: Farktography, Contests  
•       •       •

357 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2020 at 12:01 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

Voting Results (Votes)
View Voting Results: Votes

2020-04-29 8:53:13 AM  
9 votes:
Dish: Flying Spaghetti Monster loves you
Fark user imageView Full Size

1 box fusilli pasta
2 googly eyes, on stalks (I used mini sewing bobbins, and eyes glued to small dowels)

1/2 cup bread crumbs (you can toast bread and shred on a grater)
1/4 cup milk
1 1/2 pound ground beef
1 small onion, diced (it's your choice on the onion - I usually use yellow)
1 egg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 rimmed baking sheet

Mix all meatball ingredients in a bowl, thoroughly
Make balls out of the mix, and place on baking sheet, ~1 inch apart.
Bake at 375 until done (~25 min)
During this time, cook pasta

Remove from oven
If you're making to store, allow meatballs to cool, place in freezer bag and freeze
If you're making for eating immediately, place pasta on plate, arrange eyeballs, and add meatballs

Serve! (I did also provide pasta sauce)
It is advised that you do NOT consume the eyeballs
2020-04-28 7:26:00 PM  
6 votes:
Orange Super-Chunky Granola
from The Complete America's Test Kitchen TV Show Cookbook (2001-14) p.849

i.postimg.ccView Full Size

Step 5 from recipe in the previous image.
2020-04-29 8:26:31 AM  
6 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

White Chocolate Mouse
7 ounces white chocolate, chopped into very small pieces (I used a food processor)
2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup heavy cream, plus 1 cup
12 fresh blackberries, for garnish
Mint sprigs, for garnish, optional
(if you want to be fancy, 2 Waterford red wine glasses)

In a large glass bowl, place the chopped white chocolate and set aside.
Add the egg yolks and sugar to a small bowl and whisk until pale in color.
In a saucepan, over low heat, bring 1/4 cup of the cream to a simmer, and slowly add the cream into the yolk and sugar mixture to temper. Pour the creamy mixture back into pan and stir with a wooden spoon until it coats the back of it.
Pour hot mix into a fine mesh sieve placed directly over bowl with the chopped chocolate. Stir until completely smooth.
In another bowl, whip remaining 1 cup of the cream to almost stiff peaks. Fold half the whipped cream into the white chocolate mix to lighten and then fold in the remaining whipped cream.
Spoon the white chocolate mousse into 4 serving cups and refrigerate until set, approximately 1 hour.
Garnish each serving with 3 blackberries and a sprig of mint, if using.
2020-04-30 5:39:11 AM  
6 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Stuffed chicken breast

Cut leek into rings, carrots into small cubes.
Fresh rosemary and thyme. Cut rosemary into small pieces.
Cut onion and garlic into small pieces.
Cut chicken breast open and fill with thyme, garlic, rosemary, onion, and some leek. Use a (wooden) toothpick to keep the chicken breast closed during cooking.
Heat oil in a pan, sear chicken breast on both sides for about 1-2 minutes.
Add leek and carrots, whatever is left of onion, garlic and spices, stir-fry for 1-2 minutes.
Deglaze with 1/2 - 1 cup of white wine.
Salt, pepper, chili, whatever to taste.
Cook until liquid is almost evaporated.

Serve with rice. Or don't, it's up to you.
2020-04-29 11:29:25 PM  
5 votes:

Pan Fried honey bananas

take one banana with a little bit of green on it, slice and drop in a pan of melted butter add honey to cover, and ground cinnamon, cook until one side carmelizes, flip and repeat.

/I did not let this batch carmalize enough, the banana was too ripe and would have turned to mush.
2020-04-28 7:23:57 PM  
4 votes:
Orange Super-Chunky Granola
from The Complete America's Test Kitchen TV Show Cookbook (2001-14) p.849
Fark user imageView Full Size

1/2 cup maple syrup; 1/3 cup packed (2.5oz) light brown sugar; 4 teaspoons vanilla extract; 1/2 teaspoon salt; 1/2 cup vegetable oil; 5 cups (15oz) old-fashioned rolled oats; 2 tablespoons finely grated orange zest; 2 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 325 degrees. Line rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper
2 Whisk maple syrup, brown sugar, vanilla, salt, orange zest, and ground cinnamon in large bowl. Whick in oil. Fold in oats (and optionally 2 cups (10oz) coarsely chopped raw almonds almonds, not in this picture) until thoroughly coated
3 Transfer oat mix to prepared baking sheet and spread across sheet into thin, even layer (about 3/8 inch thick). Using stiff metal spatula, compress oat mixture until very compact. Bake until lightly browned, 40 to 45 minutes, rotating pan once halfway through baking. Remove granola from oven and cool on wire rack (PICTURED) to room temperature, about 1 hour. Break cooled granola into pieces of desired size
4 (optional) stir in dried fruit - 2 cups of raisins or other dried fruit like cranberiies, chopped
5 Granola can be stored in airtight container for up to 2 weeks (see next picture)
2020-04-29 12:31:36 PM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Smoked London Broil with baked potato

Liberally coat the meat with your rub of choice. Place on a smoker at 225° until approximately 130° in the center. Let rest, slice and serve.
2020-04-29 11:42:23 PM  
4 votes:

my breakfast pretty much every day: eggs with a meat and vegetable/potoato/or fruit:

typical offering at my house will look like this

3 eggs over easy, liberally sprinkled with red pepper flakes, fresh ground black pepper and salt

Steak, peppers, and onions fajita style: with olive oil salt and pepper, sprinkled with jalapeno salt when done.

fresh ground and brewed coffee in my Dog Watch Cafe mug, best mug in the world. No k cups for me.
2020-04-29 8:40:50 AM  
3 votes:
PURKEY! Why purple turkey? To Subvert Expectations (yes, that's what I call it)
Fark user imageView Full Size

1 gallon water
1/2 ounce ground cloves
1/2 ounce ground ginger
4 ounces cracked black peppercorns
12 bay leaves
1 pound kosher salt
24 ounces honey
24 ounces maple syrup
Food coloring (for later)

1 (14-16 pound) whole fresh turkey, giblets and neck removed and reserved for stock In a large stockpot, bring the water, cloves, ginger, black peppercorn, bay leaves and salt to a boil. Lower to a simmer and stir in the honey and maple syrup until well blended. Turn off heat and allow to cool to room temperature.

Rinse the turkey inside and out with cold tap water. Reserve the neck and specialty meats for pan gravy. Place the turkey in a clean 5 gallon bucket and pour the brine over it making sure that the turkey is fully immersed in the brine. Place a weight on top of the turkey to make sure it is always covered with brine. Cover container. Marinate for at least 4 hours (recommended is ~16) to overnight, depending on the weight of the turkey, in the
refrigerator. If you brine overnight... Flip the turkey in the morning, a few hours before cooking.

Rinse with cold water and pat dry with paper towels. Place the turkey, breast side up, on a flat rack in a large
roasting pan. Let stand at room temperature for 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Prep to Roast:
Putting on inside-out plastic bags (gotta protect the hands), rub turkey with red and blue food coloring, until desired hue is achieved - lay it on thick. It will pale a bit as you cook. When finished, remove the baggies by reversing them.

Commence with the Roastification.


1 cup maple syrup
8 TBLS. (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted

In a small bowl, whisk together the maple syrup and 8 TBLS. of the butter. Set aside.

Roast the turkey for 25 minutes at 375°. Reduce the oven temperature to 325°F and roast for 45 minutes more, then begin basting the turkey every 30 minutes with the maple butter.

Continue roasting until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the breast, away from the bone, registers 165°F and the thigh registers 175°F. Total roasting time should be 3 to 3 3/4 hours for a 16 lb unstuffed bird.

Transfer the turkey to a carving board, cover loosely with aluminum foil and let rest for 20 minutes before carving.
2020-04-30 12:10:53 AM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Chicken 'n' Dumplings by Elsinore, on Flickr

(I never have exact amounts, so this is just the general idea)
Chicken--can be leftovers, can be canned or pre-cooked, can be fresh. Leftover turkey works well too.
Broth or stock--if you boil a fresh chicken or the carcass, you can make your own as you cook it
Canned biscuits--number depends on how many dumplings you want and how big your pot is
Poultry seasoning, salt, and pepper to taste

In large stock pot, cook chicken in broth, seasoned to your preferences. If you're using fresh chicken, cook it through. If you're using a leftover carcass, you'll need to pull it out and pick all the meat off the bones once you've cooked it long enough to have the broth taste like you want it. If using pre-cooked chicken and canned broth, just get it boiling. You want enough broth to cover the chicken and then some, and a tall enough pot that leaves room for the dumplings on top. While the chicken is cooking, take your canned biscuits and tear them into 1/3 to 1/2 size pieces. Once the chicken is cooked, turn heat down to medium or medium-low and add the biscuit dough. Resist the urge to eat a raw piece of dough. Supposedly that's bad. The dumplings will puff up and expand a lot, then they'll contract and get dense. While cooking, you can occasionally (and carefully) push the dumplings down into the broth a bit, but don't stir them up too much, because they can break apart, especially during the expansion phase. Occasionally run your spoon along the bottom to make sure you're not getting chicken stuck to the bottom of the pan. When the dumplings get dense and the broth thickens, they're ready. Feel free to taste along the way to see if they're the firmness you prefer. Once they're done, remove from heat, and give the whole pot a good stir to mix in the chicken and the dumplings. Leftovers don't freeze well (the texture gets weird), but they reheat from the fridge as good or better as the day you fixed them.
2020-04-30 1:51:46 AM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Scrambled eggs with lobster and chives served over two fried grilled portobello mushrooms (with a healthy does of Marie Sharp's habanero hot sauce), some pan seared tomatoes, two slices of toasted sourdough bread with quacamole and hot sauce, and a giant mug of Pirate's Blend coffee (roasted in Pierceton, IN) with cream and sugar. It is nice having a mid-morning meeting every day. I can just put my laptop on the island counter in the kitchen and make some breakfast while listening to updates from my boss and coworkers.
2020-04-30 4:23:34 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

**This is for all smoked items for me so my general rub.
Pepper ...  some?but think Tbl Spn
Sea Salt ...   about the same Tbl Spn
Cinnamon - 1 tspn
Onion Powder - 1 tsp
Garlic powder - 1-2 tsp
Cumin/Tamarind 1 tspn (optional)
Sugar/Brown Sugar - 1 tspn (optional)
Crushed Peppers - I grow peppers every year and out of my chiles I save a couple end of the season for drying and grinding...   mostly these are mild to hot, a few varieties of NM Hatch Green Chiles varied for heat, Poblano, Anaheim, and also paprika.
Probably use a little more than 2 tbl spns...
Thats probably better than earlier...
So I prep a whole chicken, and whole chicken legs by dabbing them then rubbing them with olive oil.
Set the chicken on the rack, apply rub.
I place the legs on their own rack.
I set up the smoker (electric) by pre warming to 260º f, generally that helps me get the chips building thick smoke early, especially as heat and smoke are lost opening the door. And this week the chips are Pecan and Apple, like a pie...   anyway as I put the meats in I drop to 220-230º.
Whole chicken will smoke 5-6 hours.
Legs usually 3-4 hours around.
Anyway, when its done I set up high to cool, then clean the carcass until no meat left.
Everything but legs and wings will go into a tupperware type bucket thing, legs into a resealable bag. Grab at will though out the week, side with your particular fancy...
for me it is carrots, a pickle, some cheese, and a bbq sauce.
2020-04-29 11:18:07 PM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
0-2 by jambayalajo, on Flickr

Grilled Brussell Sprouts

1 lb. brussels sprouts, halved
3 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 c. balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp. honey
1 tbsp. grainy mustard
2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
Kosher salt
1/2 c. Freshly grated Parmesan, for garnish

Heat grill to high. In a large bowl, combine brussels sprouts, olive oil, vinegar, honey, mustard, and red pepper flakes and season with salt. Thread sprouts onto metal skewers. Grill, turning frequently, until sprouts are tender and cooked through, about 10 minutes. Garnish with Parmesan before serving.

credit goes to delish,com
/love brussell sprouts,love olive oil,love red pepper flakes
2020-04-30 12:24:52 AM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
Chicken and Rice by Elsinore, on Flickr

Another one that I don't really have exact amounts of anything for, but this has worked well to use up leftovers.
Chicken--can be fresh, leftovers, canned, or pre-cooked
Rice--however much you want. Can be just about any type of rice or even pre-seasoned like chicken flavor
Broth or water--however much the amount of rice you chose needs to have to cook the rice
Veggies--whatever you want. Leftovers are great here. I used mushrooms, onion, and celery for this batch.
Seasoning/spices to taste

If your chicken is uncooked, brown it in a pot or deeper frying pan along with your veggies. If it's not already in pieces, it might help to cut it up into bite size pieces. If your chicken is already cooked, just throw it in the pan with your veggies and heat through; add extra time if the veggies are raw and need to cook through. Season to taste. Add the amount of rice you want and the necessary broth or water for it to cook in. Check rice package for cook time. The above was cobbled together with leftover chicken, veggies, and two different types of rice I had partial packages of, and it worked just fine. Leftovers heat up great!
2020-04-30 1:54:38 AM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

I could smell my neighbor cooking pasta with a very heavy dose of garlic and it got my stomach rumbling. I already had a pot of chili made for chili dogs but decided on a quick snack inspired by my neighbor's cooking. And, yes, the spoon is for the garlic.
2020-04-30 11:55:38 AM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size

So for breakfasts and lunches we have been smoking a whole roaster chicken, a couple whole legs, and salmon...  This is about breakfast, lunch will be later...

Smoked Salmon Avocado Toast
**This is for all smoked items for me
Salmon rub, made in small bowl (about a cup total) generally, and I do use store bought and gift rubs a lot, but this will be my general rub.

Pepper ...  some?but think Tbl Spn
Sea Salt ...   about the same Tbl Spn
Crushed Peppers - I grow peppers every year and out of my chiles I save a couple end of the season for drying and grinding...   mostly these are mild to hot, a few varieties of NM Hatch Green Chiles varied for heat, Poblano, Anaheim, and also paprika.
Probably use a little more than 2 tbl spns...
Chocolate/Coffee/Cinnamon - 1 tspn (Optional)
Onion Powder - 1 tsp
Garlic powder - 1-2 tsp
Cumin/Tamarind 1 tspn (optional)
Sugar/Brown Sugar - 1 tspn (optional)
**I tend to use the sugars with mostly pork, cumin with beef and tamarind with poultry and fish. Not sure about the measurement accuracy, nothing special though but has been pretty good.

So generally the salmon at Fresh Market is close to 6-8 oz, i got a 12 oz filet this week, just lucky.
So prep Salmon, dab with paper towel, then rub oil on surface, place on rack and season flesh ( I don't season the skin because I will be giving that to my pups in their kibbles).
Smoker will be set for 220º, salmon will smoke 3- hours depending on size.
This weeks smoking woods are pecan (think chunks) and Apple (smaller bit)
Okay now to the rest of breakfast...
Toast - Dave's Killer Bread slice (multi grain stuff or rye also work)
Spread to desired coverage,
Kellers modified "Green" canna buter
Philly Cream Cheese (Though I have used other spreadable cheese like asiagoe, just because and those worked awesome too)
Apply butter first and let it melt in, then the cheese.
Add salmon (cold out of the fridge) and
2 slices of Avacado, like 1/4 slices

This has been a really good breakfast, the green butter is cooler and mellow, easy to relax but also stay focused. Even with out the green butter, just regular butter is great with this too...
Displayed 16 of 16 comments

View Voting Results: Votes

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.