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633 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 Apr 2020 at 1:50 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-04-18 9:37:36 PM  
PanDammeEc - Jean-Claude van Damme and his sidekicks Dwayne Johnson and Jack Black are shrunken down to microscopic size to kick the virus in the face and save mankind. Their plans go awry when they meet a sexy new virus (Emily Blunt).
 
2020-04-18 9:59:10 PM  
The rock, will tucker, and andy serkis must infiltrate a secret Chinese base overun by shambling infected scientistst that are responsible for a global pandemic.  Only to find the virus is the secret to immortality. Now the world goverments want the virus for themselves and it leads to a globe trotting chase as our heros try to cure the world before they are caught
 
2020-04-18 10:05:23 PM  
No. No. No.

Do NOT encourage them.
 
2020-04-18 10:08:29 PM  
The Rock - Dr Dirk Thorrgruben, ex Navy Seal, virologist, brain surgeon
Scarlett Johannsen - Nurse Trixie, fashion model
Jason Alexander - Sheckey Bernstein, the wacky neighbor
Charles Dance - villain, evil genius, guy with British accent
Max - german shepherd, Dirk's loyal companion


Plot...who cares really?
 
2020-04-18 10:11:20 PM  
Rampage 2: Invisible Monster. The Rock is back as head of the Atlanta zoo, close to the CDC. When word gets out that theres an animal/human jumping virus, but the CDC is understaffed due to budget cuts, he and his crack team of animal scientists get called in to find a cure.
 
2020-04-18 10:18:21 PM  
Are we *required* to use The Rock in these descriptions?
 
2020-04-18 11:08:33 PM  
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2020-04-18 11:12:50 PM  
The Rock, The Rock, and The Rock are on a geology expedition in China when they accidentally turn over the wrong rock, unleashing the virus.  Realizing the disaster that they have unleashed upon the world, they get off this rock to use Elon Musk's secret biology labs on Mars to create a cure, and return to save the world.
 
2020-04-18 11:13:50 PM  
Well, I'm not going to get into all of the nuts and bolts but if the vaccine they develop isn't injected with a pipettor I'll be pretty disappointed
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2020-04-18 11:25:43 PM  
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2020-04-18 11:49:36 PM  
Reboot of Back to the Future.

Starring a hot chick as the Marty and Bob Odenkirk as the old scientist. Doc Bob takes Miss Marty on a quick adventure, she makes a superficial change in the past, they return to the present to find Donald J Biff has spread a pandemic through his hotels. Miss Marty's age appropriate boyfriend is sick. The time machine malfunctions. Doc Bob and Miss Marty build a futuristic healing device out of the era's found objects. It's tested on the boyfriend and he recovers. The design is delivered to the Governors, who distribute it. The time machine is fixed. Donald J Biff ends up buried in bullshiat.

The end?
 
2020-04-19 12:02:34 AM  

Purple_Urkle: Reboot of Back to the Future.

Starring a hot chick as the Marty and Bob Odenkirk as the old scientist. Doc Bob takes Miss Marty on a quick adventure, she makes a superficial change in the past, they return to the present to find Donald J Biff has spread a pandemic through his hotels. Miss Marty's age appropriate boyfriend is sick. The time machine malfunctions. Doc Bob and Miss Marty build a futuristic healing device out of the era's found objects. It's tested on the boyfriend and he recovers. The design is delivered to the Governors, who distribute it. The time machine is fixed. Donald J Biff ends up buried in bullshiat.

The end?


I guess if The Rock is mandatory in the script. He could be a part of the change in the past? Miss Marty makes a bet on a wrestling match using future knowledge. It upsets Stephen Miller to see a hot chick win big and he helps install Trump? I kinda picture Miss Marty as probably not white, but if Miller is in the script, Miss Marty cannot be white.


Or!

If Dwayne Johnson is willing to play an evil character, he could be Jared Kushner for humourous effect!

Casting and editing could make this a great film. Steve Mnuchin is not allowed to produce this movie.
 
2020-04-19 1:09:10 AM  
All fooling aside, I don't think we'll see an American movie mention COVID-19 any time soon, except as a subplot in a tragic farce about the Trump administration.

A film-maker who wanted to talk about it one historical remove has slim pickings with regard to the Spanish flu. He might give an adaptation of Katherine Anne Porter's 'Pale Horse, Pale Rider' a whirl.

Maybe Chinese TV drama will give COVID-19 a shot, pitting heroic and beautiful doctors and nurses against incompetent local bureaucrats who make nuisances of themselves and refuse to tell Beijing how bad things are getting (because nothing is Beijing's fault, of course). There might even be a villainous American spy or two, like in the Russian Chernobylknockoff.
 
2020-04-19 1:12:25 AM  
Gwyneth Paltrow should be the protagonists wife, but she is once again patient zero and dies in the first 5 minutes. Her head will be delivered in a box to the morgue, where they open up her skull and freak out.
 
2020-04-19 2:02:47 AM  

gopher321: The Rock - Dr Dirk Thorrgruben, ex Navy Seal, virologist, brain surgeon


I never thought I would say this but, that is less believable than Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist.
 
2020-04-19 2:08:49 AM  
Chris Tucker as Dr. Fauci, the wisecracking, street-wise physician
 
2020-04-19 2:16:57 AM  
Betty White as a foul-mouthed Mike Pence.

//it's called artistic license
//don't stifle my creativity
 
2020-04-19 2:53:01 AM  

BadReligion: Gwyneth Paltrow should be the protagonists wife, but she is once again patient zero and dies in the first 5 minutes. Her head will be delivered in a box to the morgue, where they open up her skull and freak out.


Let me guess... Her head is filled with GOOP TM
 
2020-04-19 3:14:58 AM  
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2020-04-19 4:04:16 AM  

ralphjr: [Fark user image image 362x750]


I would watch this if Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were in it.
 
2020-04-19 5:12:38 AM  
28,000 Deaths Later

The Infected go from being sad old people dying of a cough into Ragevirus zombies who have an obsessive need for toilet paper and getting on cruise ships.
 
2020-04-19 5:26:39 AM  
Kirk Cameron as the 40 something doctor. Gwyneth Paltrow as the stay at home mom. And some 14 year old white blond child.

Doctor Cameron goes to church everyday after his 6 hour shift at the hospital when Mom Paltrow and daughter come in to get a signed virginity card, and drop off the 500 dollar donation to doctor Cameron's mission trip to the Bahamas. Suddenly, a grizzled atheist stumbles into the hospital entrance and starts having seizures and speaking in Latin. It is a race against time as the little blond girl catches the Carona from the atheist, and modern medicine is powerless to help her. Through the power of crystal and sensing all your money to the First Baptist church, they save everyone in the hospital from the liberals and money seeking (((doctor group))) who just wants your money. The economy is saved once again thanks to this handsome doctor who prayed to Jevus.
 
2020-04-19 6:35:00 AM  
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2020-04-19 8:10:26 AM  
The secret to the vaccine is locked inside a nuclear submarine for no apparent reason.  The Rock, Jason Stratham, etc.
 
2020-04-19 8:14:28 AM  
We need flashback scenes to earlier points in the administration.

Danny Trejo as Sarah Sanders.
 
2020-04-19 8:28:49 AM  
Fabio plays Donald Trump, his love interest Ivanka is played by an over-inflated real doll, who is also a Christian Epidemiologist. Directed by Ben Garrison.  Produced by Hallmark movies.

He single handedly slaughters a a horde of faceless brown and yellow skinned people wearing Covid-19/MS 13 regalia, while white politicians and businessmen gaze at him adoringly.  For some inexplicable reason, his muscular torso keeps tearing out of his shirts, as he ventures through a liberal hellscape to rescue the Christian Scientist from the clutches of zombie Nancy Pelosi.
 
2020-04-19 9:08:00 AM  
This song would be great for a trailer for any of these movies.

Covid-19 is "much like suffocating"
Chevelle - Send the Pain Below
Youtube gpyRI1j9t6c
 
2020-04-19 9:21:50 AM  

batlock666: [media-amazon.com image 675x1000]


How do you make these things?! I'm tres impressed. Golly!
 
2020-04-19 10:40:07 AM  
We need a geographically inaccurate car chase scene around DC.  Up & down the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, then through Arlington Cemetery, then past the Watergate Hotel, etc.
 
2020-04-19 10:53:11 AM  

Devolving_Spud: We need a geographically inaccurate car chase scene around DC.  Up & down the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, then through Arlington Cemetery, then past the Watergate Hotel, etc.


Washington and Vancouver both have Columbia related to them, so filming in one is just like filming in the other.
 
2020-04-19 11:00:05 AM  

Schmerd1948: batlock666: [media-amazon.com image 675x1000]

How do you make these things?! I'm tres impressed. Golly!


I didn't. This is a poster for a real movie. I haven't seen it, and it is most likely terrible.

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12​098392/​?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
 
2020-04-19 11:37:38 AM  
thatguyoverthere70:

PanDammeEc - Jean-Claude van Damme and his sidekicks Dwayne Johnson and Jack Black are shrunken down to microscopic size to kick the virus in the face and save mankind. Their plans go awry when they meet a sexy new virus (Emily Blunt).

Just think of the Halloween costumes this year
 
2020-04-19 11:57:13 AM  
This opens America's secret sauce to public view: we've been self-mythologizing from the start.
 
2020-04-19 12:04:47 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: thatguyoverthere70:

PanDammeEc - Jean-Claude van Damme and his sidekicks Dwayne Johnson and Jack Black are shrunken down to microscopic size to kick the virus in the face and save mankind. Their plans go awry when they meet a sexy new virus (Emily Blunt).

Just think of the Halloween costumes this year


Lets just not.
 
2020-04-19 12:09:20 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: thatguyoverthere70:

PanDammeEc - Jean-Claude van Damme and his sidekicks Dwayne Johnson and Jack Black are shrunken down to microscopic size to kick the virus in the face and save mankind. Their plans go awry when they meet a sexy new virus (Emily Blunt).

Just think of the Halloween costumes this year


You think halloween isn't cancelled this year? Not sure if optimisitic or naive.
 
2020-04-19 12:59:47 PM  
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2020-04-19 1:21:15 PM  

thorpe: [images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 353x500]


Good summer movie.  Beer, bongos, and bonfires.
 
2020-04-19 2:42:07 PM  

Russ1642: GreatGlavinsGhost: thatguyoverthere70:

PanDammeEc - Jean-Claude van Damme and his sidekicks Dwayne Johnson and Jack Black are shrunken down to microscopic size to kick the virus in the face and save mankind. Their plans go awry when they meet a sexy new virus (Emily Blunt).

Just think of the Halloween costumes this year

You think halloween isn't cancelled this year? Not sure if optimisitic or naive.


I'm sure people will still dress up.
 
2020-04-19 9:53:10 PM  
The porn business is way ahead of you guys
 
2020-04-19 10:02:51 PM  

batlock666: [media-amazon.com image 675x1000]


Watching it now. Shiat load of dubbed over voices
 
2020-04-19 10:34:43 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: batlock666: [media-amazon.com image 675x1000]

Watching it now. Shiat load of dubbed over voices


Where did you find it!?
 
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