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(Huffington Post)   So, what tips do delivery drivers deserve for risking their health, their lives, their EVERYTHING to bring food to America's doorsteps during this plague? Remind them to wash their hands   (huffpost.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Etiquette, The Order, Grocery store, tips matter, Etiquette experts, normal circumstances, customer tips, Local restaurant delivery drivers  
•       •       •

566 clicks; posted to Food » and Business » on 09 Apr 2020 at 2:50 AM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



27 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-04-08 8:45:35 PM  
Remind them to wash their hands

Thanks for the tip, subby,
 
2020-04-08 8:51:19 PM  
A blowjob, or at the very least, answering the door naked.

\Helicopter dick optional, but much appreciated.
 
2020-04-08 9:07:54 PM  
At least 40%
 
2020-04-08 9:33:52 PM  

Kellner21: A blowjob, or at the very least, answering the door naked.

\Helicopter dick optional, but much appreciated.


I have a relevant story.

I've done a lot of delivery in a lot of different functions, heavy freight, legal docs, food, you name it, if it needs to be picked up in one place and put down in another, I've probably done it. I've never had the mythical scantily-clad customer, however. Except for once. I got a twofer.

A pizza, a crazy order. All meats -- pepp, sausage, ham, hamburger, Noah's Ark -- with like five different vegetables. Mustard on the side (???). I didn't really flinch at it, hey, to each their own. You might sense here that the customer was pretty special. I did. At first, I sensed it was a prank, but the staff cooked it and I ran it out. Ok.

So I take the order up to the hotel room I'm delivering to. A Sheraton. One of the Presidential suites on the top floor. Knock knock. No answer. Knock knock again. No answer, but I hear some rustling inside. I was about the call the number, when I heard a voice from with saying "AH'M HEAH OPEN UP DAT DO'"

So I open up. A sixty-something year old Parliament-Funkadelic looking dude is completely naked except for space boots, huge indoor sunglasses, like Blu Blockers, and a giant purple felt top hat with an ostrich feather in it. He's in the midst of receiving a blowjob from a woman who must have weighed upwards of 200 pounds, with a tiny waist and a butt larger than a volleyball.

I collect myself for a moment, and ask "Where do you want me to put this?"

"PUT IT DOWN THEAH! PUT DOWN ON THAT BUREAH"

I look over and there is a stack of bills and a rock candy mountain of cocaine about three inches deep.

"TAKE ONE O' THEM BILLS! KEEP THE CHANGE!"

I say, "Are you sure? Because I have change."

"TAKE THE CHANGE, BWAH! HELP YOU SELF SOME-A THAT BLOW! WOOO!"

I take a hundred -- evidently the stack was all hundreds -- and just sort of gazed at the coke for a moment.

"PICK UP DAT STRAW, MOTHERFARKER!"

I politely declined and said, "Thanks!"

He said "FARK YAH CUZ!" and went back to getting his headwump. I got out of there, and that was that.

As I said, it was a special delivery.
 
2020-04-08 9:44:46 PM  

spelunking_defenestrator: Kellner21: A blowjob, or at the very least, answering the door naked.

\Helicopter dick optional, but much appreciated.

I have a relevant story.

I've done a lot of delivery in a lot of different functions, heavy freight, legal docs, food, you name it, if it needs to be picked up in one place and put down in another, I've probably done it. I've never had the mythical scantily-clad customer, however. Except for once. I got a twofer.

A pizza, a crazy order. All meats -- pepp, sausage, ham, hamburger, Noah's Ark -- with like five different vegetables. Mustard on the side (???). I didn't really flinch at it, hey, to each their own. You might sense here that the customer was pretty special. I did. At first, I sensed it was a prank, but the staff cooked it and I ran it out. Ok.

So I take the order up to the hotel room I'm delivering to. A Sheraton. One of the Presidential suites on the top floor. Knock knock. No answer. Knock knock again. No answer, but I hear some rustling inside. I was about the call the number, when I heard a voice from with saying "AH'M HEAH OPEN UP DAT DO'"

So I open up. A sixty-something year old Parliament-Funkadelic looking dude is completely naked except for space boots, huge indoor sunglasses, like Blu Blockers, and a giant purple felt top hat with an ostrich feather in it. He's in the midst of receiving a blowjob from a woman who must have weighed upwards of 200 pounds, with a tiny waist and a butt larger than a volleyball.

I collect myself for a moment, and ask "Where do you want me to put this?"

"PUT IT DOWN THEAH! PUT DOWN ON THAT BUREAH"

I look over and there is a stack of bills and a rock candy mountain of cocaine about three inches deep.

"TAKE ONE O' THEM BILLS! KEEP THE CHANGE!"

I say, "Are you sure? Because I have change."

"TAKE THE CHANGE, BWAH! HELP YOU SELF SOME-A THAT BLOW! WOOO!"

I take a hundred -- evidently the stack was all hundreds -- and just sort of gazed at the coke for a moment.

"PICK UP DAT STRAW, MOTHERFARKER! ...


All I've gotten is a bottle of water and a small bag of Cheetos.

Not that I wasn't grateful, as I believe I should receive nothing for just doing my job.

But still. I would welcome by balls getting emptied. But alas, I know it will never happen.

\Until I fall asleep
 
2020-04-08 10:18:07 PM  
Fed x or ups deliveries receives free unopened Clorox wipes at my house. Per delivery.
 
2020-04-08 10:19:47 PM  

spelunking_defenestrator: Kellner21: A blowjob, or at the very least, answering the door naked.

\Helicopter dick optional, but much appreciated.

I have a relevant story.

I've done a lot of delivery in a lot of different functions, heavy freight, legal docs, food, you name it, if it needs to be picked up in one place and put down in another, I've probably done it. I've never had the mythical scantily-clad customer, however. Except for once. I got a twofer.

A pizza, a crazy order. All meats -- pepp, sausage, ham, hamburger, Noah's Ark -- with like five different vegetables. Mustard on the side (???). I didn't really flinch at it, hey, to each their own. You might sense here that the customer was pretty special. I did. At first, I sensed it was a prank, but the staff cooked it and I ran it out. Ok.

So I take the order up to the hotel room I'm delivering to. A Sheraton. One of the Presidential suites on the top floor. Knock knock. No answer. Knock knock again. No answer, but I hear some rustling inside. I was about the call the number, when I heard a voice from with saying "AH'M HEAH OPEN UP DAT DO'"

So I open up. A sixty-something year old Parliament-Funkadelic looking dude is completely naked except for space boots, huge indoor sunglasses, like Blu Blockers, and a giant purple felt top hat with an ostrich feather in it. He's in the midst of receiving a blowjob from a woman who must have weighed upwards of 200 pounds, with a tiny waist and a butt larger than a volleyball.

I collect myself for a moment, and ask "Where do you want me to put this?"

"PUT IT DOWN THEAH! PUT DOWN ON THAT BUREAH"

I look over and there is a stack of bills and a rock candy mountain of cocaine about three inches deep.

"TAKE ONE O' THEM BILLS! KEEP THE CHANGE!"

I say, "Are you sure? Because I have change."

"TAKE THE CHANGE, BWAH! HELP YOU SELF SOME-A THAT BLOW! WOOO!"

I take a hundred -- evidently the stack was all hundreds -- and just sort of gazed at the coke for a moment.

"PICK UP DAT STRAW, MOTHERFARKER!"

I politely declined and said, "Thanks!"

He said "FARK YAH CUZ!" and went back to getting his headwump. I got out of there, and that was that.

As I said, it was a special delivery.


farking bootsy
 
2020-04-09 3:02:30 AM  
The restaurant charges you a delivery fee, but does it go to pay for delivery? Hell no, they keep it all themselves. Essentially charging you extra for not using their dining room. Fark this culture of skimming and deception.
 
2020-04-09 4:35:20 AM  

nytmare: The restaurant charges you a delivery fee, but does it go to pay for delivery? Hell no, they keep it all themselves. Essentially charging you extra for not using their dining room. Fark this culture of skimming and deception.


That would be ubereats or whatever service center charging you that, not the restaurant.

Skipthedishes here.charges that, goes towards the driver,.the kids Chen gets nothing.  Any tip to the driver.

They also take 25% of.the places.revenue, because they essentially extort small businesses I to signing up as."it's the only way".  So fark your own selfish capitalist culture, it's society demanding that.

They could come and pick up and leave a tip,. It nope, delivery is much more lazy.

I've done $1k sales alone in the kitchen all day, start to end, prep open cooking cleaning etc.  Not a single cent in tips, because everything is delivery.  Your drowning in your own greed and I can't get enough of it.

All for 12 an hour working 6 days a week.  You'll just fine something else to whine about the place one.this is all over.  No way you could me grateful for.yhe effort I put I to getting your order accurate, tasty, fresh and attractive.

No instead you get dumbass you doesn't wash his hands, cares not for health regulations, might scratch his beard while making your burger, doesn't care if it's right or even hot or tasty, just throws it together and moves on to the next one.

Because who would want to put any effort I to service g you?  Be glad this beef wasn't shiat in.
 
2020-04-09 4:47:00 AM  
R.E.M. - You are the Everything
Youtube 6e-LF21yFWM
 
2020-04-09 5:55:33 AM  
$10 or a roll of toilet paper.
 
2020-04-09 6:21:47 AM  
They deserve a big tip, but most of their customers have a lot less money right now.
Business is not a meritocracy
 
2020-04-09 6:41:55 AM  

vudukungfu: spelunking_defenestrator: Kellner21: A blowjob, or at the very least, answering the door naked.

\Helicopter dick optional, but much appreciated.

I have a relevant story.

I've done a lot of delivery in a lot of different functions, heavy freight, legal docs, food, you name it, if it needs to be picked up in one place and put down in another, I've probably done it. I've never had the mythical scantily-clad customer, however. Except for once. I got a twofer.

A pizza, a crazy order. All meats -- pepp, sausage, ham, hamburger, Noah's Ark -- with like five different vegetables. Mustard on the side (???). I didn't really flinch at it, hey, to each their own. You might sense here that the customer was pretty special. I did. At first, I sensed it was a prank, but the staff cooked it and I ran it out. Ok.

So I take the order up to the hotel room I'm delivering to. A Sheraton. One of the Presidential suites on the top floor. Knock knock. No answer. Knock knock again. No answer, but I hear some rustling inside. I was about the call the number, when I heard a voice from with saying "AH'M HEAH OPEN UP DAT DO'"

So I open up. A sixty-something year old Parliament-Funkadelic looking dude is completely naked except for space boots, huge indoor sunglasses, like Blu Blockers, and a giant purple felt top hat with an ostrich feather in it. He's in the midst of receiving a blowjob from a woman who must have weighed upwards of 200 pounds, with a tiny waist and a butt larger than a volleyball.

I collect myself for a moment, and ask "Where do you want me to put this?"

"PUT IT DOWN THEAH! PUT DOWN ON THAT BUREAH"

I look over and there is a stack of bills and a rock candy mountain of cocaine about three inches deep.

"TAKE ONE O' THEM BILLS! KEEP THE CHANGE!"

I say, "Are you sure? Because I have change."

"TAKE THE CHANGE, BWAH! HELP YOU SELF SOME-A THAT BLOW! WOOO!"

I take a hundred -- evidently the stack was all hundreds -- and just sort of gazed at the coke for a moment.

"PICK U ...


I read that story in this guy's voice

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-09 7:35:29 AM  
20% minimum
 
2020-04-09 8:18:01 AM  

links136: nytmare: The restaurant charges you a delivery fee, but does it go to pay for delivery? Hell no, they keep it all themselves. Essentially charging you extra for not using their dining room. Fark this culture of skimming and deception.

That would be ubereats or whatever service center charging you that, not the restaurant.

Skipthedishes here.charges that, goes towards the driver,.the kids Chen gets nothing.  Any tip to the driver.

They also take 25% of.the places.revenue, because they essentially extort small businesses I to signing up as."it's the only way".  So fark your own selfish capitalist culture, it's society demanding that.

They could come and pick up and leave a tip,. It nope, delivery is much more lazy.

I've done $1k sales alone in the kitchen all day, start to end, prep open cooking cleaning etc.  Not a single cent in tips, because everything is delivery.  Your drowning in your own greed and I can't get enough of it.

All for 12 an hour working 6 days a week.  You'll just fine something else to whine about the place one.this is all over.  No way you could me grateful for.yhe effort I put I to getting your order accurate, tasty, fresh and attractive.

No instead you get dumbass you doesn't wash his hands, cares not for health regulations, might scratch his beard while making your burger, doesn't care if it's right or even hot or tasty, just throws it together and moves on to the next one.

Because who would want to put any effort I to service g you?  Be glad this beef wasn't shiat in.


Not everyone who orders delivery does so because they're "lazy." Consider the elderly individual who can't drive, someone who is injured, disabled, or is recovering from a major surgery.
 
2020-04-09 8:41:59 AM  
Here's an honest question to ponder.  Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'?  What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes?  Why is food delivery so special?  (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)
 
2020-04-09 8:49:45 AM  

A Cave Geek: Here's an honest question to ponder.  Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'?  What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes?  Why is food delivery so special?  (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)


Doing food delevery now,
Because we get paid by the delivery (2.50) +tip, we are not W2
Thankfully we see how much the order will make us, and if not worth it, we can decline
 
2020-04-09 11:13:56 AM  

baka-san: A Cave Geek: Here's an honest question to ponder. Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'? What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes? Why is food delivery so special? (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)

Doing food delevery now,
Because we get paid by the delivery (2.50) +tip, we are not W2
Thankfully we see how much the order will make us, and if not worth it, we can decline

I think the question is, why are you food delivery people paid so little that you have to depend on tips?

Apparently, the origin of the whole tradition of tipping waiters (and now food delivery) is rooted in racism and sexism dating back to at least the Civil War as basically a way to continue a form of slavery, and even now in most states constitutes a legal way to pay well below the federal minimum wage:
WaPo ― Feb 18, 2016
Mother Jones ― April, 2016
Time ― Oct. 15, 2018
Politico ― July 17, 2019
Ford Foundation

Attempt to refute the above by a certain conservative "scholar" on YouTube (Louder with Crowder).
It did not originate as an acronym for "To insure Promptness."
 
2020-04-09 11:35:03 AM  

COMALite J: baka-san: A Cave Geek: Here's an honest question to ponder. Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'? What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes? Why is food delivery so special? (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)

Doing food delevery now,
Because we get paid by the delivery (2.50) +tip, we are not W2
Thankfully we see how much the order will make us, and if not worth it, we can decline
I think the question is, why are you food delivery people paid so little that you have to depend on tips?

Apparently, the origin of the whole tradition of tipping waiters (and now food delivery) is rooted in racism and sexism dating back to at least the Civil War as basically a way to continue a form of slavery, and even now in most states constitutes a legal way to pay well below the federal minimum wage:

• WaPo ― Feb 18, 2016
• Mother Jones ― April, 2016
• Time ― Oct. 15, 2018
• Politico ― July 17, 2019
• Ford Foundation

• Attempt to refute the above by a certain conservative "scholar" on YouTube (Louder with Crowder).
It did not originate as an acronym for "To insure Promptness."


If so my bad. But yeah, In Texas if you are a tipped employee they can pay as little as 2:13 hr (might be higher now, but I doubt it)
 
2020-04-09 11:59:37 AM  
Nothing if you're already stocked up on food. My deep freezer and fridge is at max.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-09 12:37:33 PM  

baka-san: A Cave Geek: Here's an honest question to ponder.  Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'?  What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes?  Why is food delivery so special?  (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)

Doing food delevery now,
Because we get paid by the delivery (2.50) +tip, we are not W2
Thankfully we see how much the order will make us, and if not worth it, we can decline


That sounds...like a pretty awful setup...the only way that would work is in a incredibly densely packed area.  Would it not be better to put ALL delivery drivers on W2?  Having done it in the past, I recall days where you'd walk home with 30 bucks (including salary) for a 6 hr shift, and days when you'd clear 300-500 for the same time...Perhaps the 'tip-based' job has really run its course.
 
2020-04-09 1:57:56 PM  

spelunking_defenestrator: "PICK UP DAT STRAW, MOTHERFARKER!"

I politely declined and said, "Thanks!"


You are a much better person than me. I would have jammed that straw into the middle of the pile and knocked the back of my head out.
 
2020-04-09 1:58:00 PM  

COMALite J: baka-san: A Cave Geek: Here's an honest question to ponder. Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'? What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes? Why is food delivery so special? (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)

Doing food delevery now,
Because we get paid by the delivery (2.50) +tip, we are not W2
Thankfully we see how much the order will make us, and if not worth it, we can decline
I think the question is, why are you food delivery people paid so little that you have to depend on tips?

Apparently, the origin of the whole tradition of tipping waiters (and now food delivery) is rooted in racism and sexism dating back to at least the Civil War as basically a way to continue a form of slavery, and even now in most states constitutes a legal way to pay well below the federal minimum wage:• WaPo ― Feb 18, 2016
• Mother Jones ― April, 2016
• Time ― Oct. 15, 2018
• Politico ― July 17, 2019
• Ford Foundation

• Attempt to refute the above by a certain conservative "scholar" on YouTube (Louder with Crowder).It did not originate as an acronym for "To insure Promptness."


Food servers make more on their mini wage + tips than they would on minimum wage or even the cool $15/hr minimum wage,
 
2020-04-09 1:59:56 PM  

A Cave Geek: baka-san: A Cave Geek: Here's an honest question to ponder.  Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'?  What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes?  Why is food delivery so special?  (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)

Doing food delevery now,
Because we get paid by the delivery (2.50) +tip, we are not W2
Thankfully we see how much the order will make us, and if not worth it, we can decline

That sounds...like a pretty awful setup...the only way that would work is in a incredibly densely packed area.  Would it not be better to put ALL delivery drivers on W2?  Having done it in the past, I recall days where you'd walk home with 30 bucks (including salary) for a 6 hr shift, and days when you'd clear 300-500 for the same time...Perhaps the 'tip-based' job has really run its course.


I'm no definitive source on the topic but my hunch is that this is a gig economy delivery job and not your local dominos delivery driver. Since I'm pretty sure the employee delivery driver can't refuse to make a delivery without a really good reason. In which case we're back to the same arguments about all of the drive/rideshare ventures that appear to be simply taking advantage of their "workers".
 
2020-04-09 2:06:48 PM  

MugzyBrown: COMALite J: baka-san: A Cave Geek: Here's an honest question to ponder. Why do delivery drivers for food deserve tips and delivery drivers for heavy packages 'not'? What about mail delivery, who drives FAR beyond the realms of normal delivery routes? Why is food delivery so special? (Note, I've done both food and non-food delivery in the past)

Doing food delevery now,
Because we get paid by the delivery (2.50) +tip, we are not W2
Thankfully we see how much the order will make us, and if not worth it, we can decline
I think the question is, why are you food delivery people paid so little that you have to depend on tips?

Apparently, the origin of the whole tradition of tipping waiters (and now food delivery) is rooted in racism and sexism dating back to at least the Civil War as basically a way to continue a form of slavery, and even now in most states constitutes a legal way to pay well below the federal minimum wage:• WaPo ― Feb 18, 2016
• Mother Jones ― April, 2016
• Time ― Oct. 15, 2018
• Politico ― July 17, 2019
• Ford Foundation

• Attempt to refute the above by a certain conservative "scholar" on YouTube (Louder with Crowder).It did not originate as an acronym for "To insure Promptness."

Food servers make more on their mini wage + tips than they would on minimum wage or even the cool $15/hr minimum wage,

Even if true (and I'd like you to provide sources ― you know, like I did), that doesn't refute one iota about the origins of the tipping custom.
 
2020-04-09 3:06:09 PM  

COMALite J: Even if true (and I'd like you to provide sources ― you know, like I did), that doesn't refute one iota about the origins of the tipping custom.


Even if the origins are correct, it doesn't make it a bad system.

Minimum wage's origins are based on unions trying to compete with black workers who were under bidding them for work.

I know I was making $12/hr 20 years ago waiting tables at a fast casual restaurant. And I was a shiatty waiter.
 
2020-04-09 4:27:36 PM  

links136: nytmare: The restaurant charges you a delivery fee, but does it go to pay for delivery? Hell no, they keep it all themselves. Essentially charging you extra for not using their dining room. Fark this culture of skimming and deception.

That would be ubereats or whatever service center charging you that, not the restaurant.

Skipthedishes here.charges that, goes towards the driver,.the kids Chen gets nothing.  Any tip to the driver.

They also take 25% of.the places.revenue, because they essentially extort small businesses I to signing up as."it's the only way".  So fark your own selfish capitalist culture, it's society demanding that.

They could come and pick up and leave a tip,. It nope, delivery is much more lazy.

I've done $1k sales alone in the kitchen all day, start to end, prep open cooking cleaning etc.  Not a single cent in tips, because everything is delivery.  Your drowning in your own greed and I can't get enough of it.

All for 12 an hour working 6 days a week.  You'll just fine something else to whine about the place one.this is all over.  No way you could me grateful for.yhe effort I put I to getting your order accurate, tasty, fresh and attractive.

No instead you get dumbass you doesn't wash his hands, cares not for health regulations, might scratch his beard while making your burger, doesn't care if it's right or even hot or tasty, just throws it together and moves on to the next one.

Because who would want to put any effort I to service g you?  Be glad this beef wasn't shiat in.


Almost all restaurants that deliver charge a delivery fee, not just the delivery services. Since you claim to work in the industry, you should know that. Every local place around me and every national pizza chain I know of all charge delivery fees and they aren't outsourcing their delivery drivers. I have no idea what the local places do with that fee but I know the pizza chains don't give it to the drivers, they pocket it on top of already charging more than for carry out.

The various delivery services charge you a delivery fee, a service fee, sometimes an extra "we're busy" fee, and then you tip on top of all that. The whole model is pretty extreme. When I was in Seattle in January with no transportation during a storm UberEats wanted an extra $18 because of high demand, which is insane. Being "lazy" and not wanting to walk in the rain in January but still needing food my options were limited to some kind of delivery, regardless of cost. And yes, I still tipped.

Also, if you hate food service so much, and based on your incredibly dick-ish response you do, feel free to get a different job. Learn a skill that doesn't force you to work 6 days a week. Millions of other people have. Pluralsight is free right now along with tons of other resources. Change something instead of being a whinny little biatch because plenty of people are lined up to take your current job and there will be even more soon.

If you have time to rant on Fark, you have time to improve your life. I speak from personal experience.
 
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