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(Slate)   "My best friend and I have been quarantined together the past few weeks; we were both anxious one night and took some Xanax. We had sex, and while we agree it didn't change anything, she has a boyfriend. Do we keep the secret? Are we bad people?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Debut albums, WANT, Need, 2007 singles, best friend, letter writer, Q. Re, awful people  
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515 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 07 Apr 2020 at 8:20 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-04-07 6:54:09 AM  
I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.
 
2020-04-07 7:06:59 AM  
No one cares
 
2020-04-07 7:13:08 AM  
You need to keep on keeping on, you have awakened a beast, a scratch that must be relieved.   Then have he babies, because that solves everything.
 
2020-04-07 7:33:42 AM  
Can anyone figure out the gender of the author.  It will help me decide how HAWT this story is...
 
2020-04-07 7:38:49 AM  
I've had friends, and best friends.  Sex was never involved.
 
2020-04-07 7:48:06 AM  

August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.


Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.
 
2020-04-07 7:56:06 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.


Can confirm.


/male
 
2020-04-07 7:56:34 AM  

August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.


It's pretty telling that you think that's the case... It's not telling anything good, but it is pretty illustrative of your world view.
 
2020-04-07 8:19:19 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.


Not all men!  (Lol)

I filmed weddings for 10 years and DJ'ed them for 20 and got very good at not sexualizing women.  I think it's why they were comfortable with me in the ready rooms.

Now it is useful working at a university office, not gawking at the students (one co worker in his 30s is struggling and I think someday it will get him into trouble)

Sure I think about sex.  Random thoughts will pop into my head, whatever.  I just work at not letting it rule over all.
 
2020-04-07 8:19:41 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.



There is no textual evidence that either person is male.

Also, casting men as brainless, dishonest, predatory f*ckbots that will opportunistically attempt to fark anyone regardless of attraction or interest is not only degrading to men, it also creates a cultural expectation of date rape. And honestly, the only guys I know who are that sex-obsessed are the guys who don't get it. The only guys who think about burgers 24/7 are guys who are dieting and hating it. The only guys who think about booze 24/7 are dry drunks. Continue the analogy at your leisure.
 
2020-04-07 8:25:54 AM  

weddingsinger: The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.

Not all men!  (Lol)

I filmed weddings for 10 years and DJ'ed them for 20 and got very good at not sexualizing women.  I think it's why they were comfortable with me in the ready rooms.

Now it is useful working at a university office, not gawking at the students (one co worker in his 30s is struggling and I think someday it will get him into trouble)

Sure I think about sex.  Random thoughts will pop into my head, whatever.  I just work at not letting it rule over all.


This is the key point that the white knighters in the thread are going to ignore. Thinking about sex, whether in bursts or non-stop, is neither shameful nor abnormal. What matters is what you do -- treating people with respect, being aware of and correcting for your own biases, conducting one's self professionally, and just generally acting like an adult.
 
2020-04-07 8:26:10 AM  
Sounds like someone got out of the friend zone...for an instant. Back you go!
 
2020-04-07 8:33:29 AM  
Spoiler alert: It won't get awkward at all.
 
2020-04-07 8:35:30 AM  
I'm telling everyone!
 
2020-04-07 8:35:51 AM  
If you can't be with the one you love...

Sooner or later, the boyfriend will find out. It always works that way. The question then is, would he be understanding of the situation or jealous at the intrusion? It doesn't have to be the end of Mia's relationship with him, but it very well may be the end of LW's relationship with Mia. Sadly, the correct way to tell him is together and in private. That's not going to happen for a while.

/ The fake letter writers are on the ball this week.
 
2020-04-07 8:41:59 AM  

pkjun: The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.


There is no textual evidence that either person is male.

Also, casting men as brainless, dishonest, predatory f*ckbots that will opportunistically attempt to fark anyone regardless of attraction or interest is not only degrading to men, it also creates a cultural expectation of date rape. And honestly, the only guys I know who are that sex-obsessed are the guys who don't get it. The only guys who think about burgers 24/7 are guys who are dieting and hating it. The only guys who think about booze 24/7 are dry drunks. Continue the analogy at your leisure.


We aren't brainless.   I have never date-raped anybody or had non-consensual sex and I've been a male for my entire life.   We have to learn to fight the boner and beat it back into submission.
 
2020-04-07 8:44:00 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: pkjun: The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.


There is no textual evidence that either person is male.

Also, casting men as brainless, dishonest, predatory f*ckbots that will opportunistically attempt to fark anyone regardless of attraction or interest is not only degrading to men, it also creates a cultural expectation of date rape. And honestly, the only guys I know who are that sex-obsessed are the guys who don't get it. The only guys who think about burgers 24/7 are guys who are dieting and hating it. The only guys who think about booze 24/7 are dry drunks. Continue the analogy at your leisure.

We aren't brainless.   I have never date-raped anybody or had non-consensual sex and I've been a male for my entire life.   We have to learn to fight the boner and beat it back into submission.


Go on...
 
2020-04-07 8:47:12 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: We have to learn to fight the boner and beat it back into submission.


Not in the woods though, because when you're in the deep woods, I've been told you can't beat off.
 
2020-04-07 8:49:08 AM  

DecemberNitro: The Googles Do Nothing: We have to learn to fight the boner and beat it back into submission.

Not in the woods though, because when you're in the deep woods, I've been told you can't beat off.


What if there's a skeeter on your peter though?
 
2020-04-07 8:49:34 AM  
Video evidence is required to determine badness
 
2020-04-07 9:07:32 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: DecemberNitro: The Googles Do Nothing: We have to learn to fight the boner and beat it back into submission.

Not in the woods though, because when you're in the deep woods, I've been told you can't beat off.

What if there's a skeeter on your peter though?


Nina Simone - Funkier Than A Mosquito's Tweeter (Audio)
Youtube 5GsCHQkulr4
 
2020-04-07 9:26:54 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: pkjun: The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.


There is no textual evidence that either person is male.

Also, casting men as brainless, dishonest, predatory f*ckbots that will opportunistically attempt to fark anyone regardless of attraction or interest is not only degrading to men, it also creates a cultural expectation of date rape. And honestly, the only guys I know who are that sex-obsessed are the guys who don't get it. The only guys who think about burgers 24/7 are guys who are dieting and hating it. The only guys who think about booze 24/7 are dry drunks. Continue the analogy at your leisure.

We aren't brainless.   I have never date-raped anybody or had non-consensual sex and I've been a male for my entire life.   We have to learn to fight the boner and beat it back into submission.


Maybe it's my ADHD, but I don't find dealing with intrusive sexual thoughts qualitatively different than dealing with intrusive thoughts of other sorts.
 
2020-04-07 9:35:06 AM  

weddingsinger: The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.

Not all men!  (Lol)

I filmed weddings for 10 years and DJ'ed them for 20 and got very good at not sexualizing women.  I think it's why they were comfortable with me in the ready rooms.

Now it is useful working at a university office, not gawking at the students (one co worker in his 30s is struggling and I think someday it will get him into trouble)

Sure I think about sex.  Random thoughts will pop into my head, whatever.  I just work at not letting it rule over all.


That's two different situations. It's entirely possible for guys to work with women and not sexualize them, what's at question here is the idea that heterosexual men and women can be "best friends" without one or both having sexual feelings for the other.

I've always held the belief that the answer is no, in most cases they can't. You can be coworkers, acquaintances, friends adjacent (aka you hang around in the same group of people), but they can't be "best friends".
 
2020-04-07 9:41:49 AM  
My question is....

They are not roommates, so why are they quarantined together instead of 'Mia' being with her BF?

That keeps popping up in these things. People who don't normally live together are now stuck, odd couple style.

/ calling Bullshiat
// not like they are real
/// 3
 
2020-04-07 9:59:53 AM  

pkjun: There is no textual evidence that either person is male.


My best friend, "Mia,"
"her boyfriend"

While there is indeed no textual evidence of the gender of the author, I suspect that the best friend might be a woman.
 
2020-04-07 10:15:03 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.


Fark needs a profound button.
 
2020-04-07 10:17:06 AM  

August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.


"Billy Crystal to the Discussion tab. Billy Crystal to the Discussion tab..."
 
2020-04-07 10:19:12 AM  

adamgreeney: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

It's pretty telling that you think that's the case... It's not telling anything good, but it is pretty illustrative of your world view.


You need to brush up on your reading skills, Champ.
 
2020-04-07 10:33:20 AM  

evilsofa: pkjun: There is no textual evidence that either person is male.

My best friend, "Mia,"
"her boyfriend"

While there is indeed no textual evidence of the gender of the author, I suspect that the best friend might be a woman.


Note the lack of worry over unplanned pregnancy.

/Needs the Giggity tag
 
2020-04-07 10:36:49 AM  

August11: adamgreeney: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

It's pretty telling that you think that's the case... It's not telling anything good, but it is pretty illustrative of your world view.

You need to brush up on your reading skills, Champ.


What exactly did i miss? Please enlighten
 
2020-04-07 10:46:27 AM  
There is a metric assload of overthinking here.

To the couple - you should be farking at least twice a day. AT LEAST. Once this is over then you can go back to what it was before.

/like mink
//like bunny rabbits
///doggy style
 
2020-04-07 11:40:07 AM  
Prudie II:

1) I've Been Thinkin' About Sex.  I've Been Thinkin' About Intimacy: GTHOI or GTHOWI*.

2) Cabin Fever Is Killing Me: Get one of those dog shock collars.

3) Mommy's Alright, Daddy's Alright, They Just Seem A Little Weird: Serve your folks a big ol' cup of STFU seasoned with MYOB.

4) Could We Please Have Sex II: For all we know by the time this is over the BF has been dumped and a new couple has formed.  MYOB.

5) Stop! Hold On. Stay In Control: Tell them to STFU.

6) She Goes Out With Other Guys: DTMFA.  More for his benefit so he can find someone better suited.

7) Flow It, Show It, Long As God Can Grow It: You can get clippers with length attachments.  I did.  Now STFU.

8) [DaffyDuckPronounTrouble.gif]: You use their pronouns like a responsible colleague.

9) Could We Please Have Sex III: Like I said, GTHOI or GTHOWI*:

* New one.  Get The Hell On With It
 
2020-04-07 11:44:31 AM  
only need to read this far: 'while I've always thought about having sex with Mia I would never do it sober'
 
2020-04-07 11:52:08 AM  

weddingsinger: The Googles Do Nothing: August11: I have to laugh at the "best friend" bullshiat. It was bullshiat when I was in college and it's bullshiat now. One of you has been thinking about sex for a long time.

Guys are always thinking about sex.  Always.  And if you come in here with your lies and say you don't you are a lying liar who lies.   A dude living with a woman is going to think having sex with her.  A lot.  Even if he doesn't initially find her attractive.   If there is an opportunity he will go for it.    There is a boner behind every decision a guy makes.

Not all men!  (Lol)

I filmed weddings for 10 years and DJ'ed them for 20 and got very good at not sexualizing women.  I think it's why they were comfortable with me in the ready rooms.

Now it is useful working at a university office, not gawking at the students (one co worker in his 30s is struggling and I think someday it will get him into trouble)

Sure I think about sex.  Random thoughts will pop into my head, whatever.  I just work at not letting it rule over all.


Those are women you spend an hour or two with here and there, women that pay you for a service on a professional level because it's your source of income, not someone you share a living space with.
 
2020-04-07 3:16:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-07 7:20:47 PM  
All I'm saying is I'd happily bone my male friends as well if my tastes ran that way. It's still hanging out. But with sex. Which is better than hanging out with no sex.
 
2020-04-07 11:18:56 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: DecemberNitro: The Googles Do Nothing: We have to learn to fight the boner and beat it back into submission.

Not in the woods though, because when you're in the deep woods, I've been told you can't beat off.

What if there's a skeeter on your peter though?


WHACK IT OF
John Valby - Skeeter on my peter / Ah, Ya, Ya, Ya! @ Letchworth Pines 1/31/2009
Youtube QMlIItNjm3c



/really really REALLY NSFW lyrics.
//thank you.
 
2020-04-07 11:25:12 PM  
am24.mediaite.comView Full Size


John Valby "The Corona Song"
Youtube V7JZgJbwZ14


/SFW and holy shiat he's still alive and performing.
 
2020-04-08 7:34:52 PM  
Where can I score some Xanax?
 
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