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(NBC News)   In Louisiana, churches violating orders to limit crowd size are punished with cute pieces of paper called Citations. This church has six citations and next Sunday will make it seven. Cute   (nbcnews.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Sunday, Jesus, Tony Spell, Palm Sunday, Monday, Infraction, CNN's Victor Blackwell, Central Police Chief Roger Corcoran  
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1830 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 06 Apr 2020 at 10:45 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-04-06 7:41:10 PM  
Has no one read Matthew 6:6?

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy
closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray
to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father
which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."
 
2020-04-06 7:46:14 PM  

ginandbacon: Has no one read Matthew 6:6?

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy
closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray
to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father
which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."


You've already lost when you lend credence to the Angry Beard Man in the Sky instruction manual by quoting it at them.

What the situation requires is "knock that the fark off, you morons, or we're going to seal you in there with a couple of snipers set up to watch the windows," but this is Louisiana so they'll just have to enjoy their extra big ass Coronavirus combo I guess.
 
2020-04-06 7:46:44 PM  
Send in the national guard. Arrest all the church people. Stick em in prison with infected prisonners. Profit.
 
2020-04-06 7:52:19 PM  
They're maximizing short-term gains and ignoring long-term losses. They'll make enough on Sunday to more than cover the citations' costs. What they aren't realizing (or caring about) is an outbreak at a church (historically older audiences) could cause a permanent decrease in future donations and tithes through death and people utterly pissed off they got the virus at church and deciding to go to one that didn't play with their parishioners' lives.
 
2020-04-06 8:02:04 PM  
Meanwhile in Texas, churches are considered "essential functions" for breaking the social distancing order.
 
2020-04-06 8:14:37 PM  
I maintain they should be allowed to hold services and we should be allowed to build a fence around them to stop the spread of the disease. Then they can get their loaves and fishes act on
 
2020-04-06 9:06:33 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-06 9:18:30 PM  
Cut their utilities. See how happy the church ladies will be on Easter Sunday when the air is off and the toilets don't flush.
 
2020-04-06 9:33:49 PM  
Let them die.
 
2020-04-06 9:50:13 PM  
Arrest them

Plain and simple

Obviously they feel that god is more important than citations. A night behind bars may actually change their mind.
 
433 [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2020-04-06 10:02:26 PM  
I wonder what the Church of Christ, Scientist is up to.
 
2020-04-06 10:14:31 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-06 10:47:42 PM  

scottydoesntknow: They're maximizing short-term gains and ignoring long-term losses.


So they're a typical and ordinary American for-profit business?
 
2020-04-06 10:48:57 PM  
On an unrelated note, gasoline's really cheap these days.
 
2020-04-06 10:50:08 PM  

King Something: scottydoesntknow: They're maximizing short-term gains and ignoring long-term losses.

So they're a typical and ordinary American for-profit business?


Not quite- they do not have to find offshore tax havens.


RodneyToady: [Fark user image 612x336]


Thats a sweet ride
 
2020-04-06 10:50:25 PM  
Corona virus does not give you a "pass" on infection "Because it's for church!"
 
2020-04-06 10:53:22 PM  
Fark your life, pass the offering plate
 
2020-04-06 10:53:33 PM  
When asked during an interview with CNN's Victor Blackwell if he believed in the science behind the governor's orders, Spell said, "We believe the science of this, however, we do have a command from God and there are no governing bodies that can tell us we cannot gather and worship freely."

Hopefully God will command someone to lock the doors and fire the place...
 
2020-04-06 10:53:51 PM  
Jesus wants you to come home faster, spit into each other's mouths and die quickly. AMEN.
 
2020-04-06 10:54:29 PM  
I see how everyone is reporting on CHRISTIAN church services, but has anyone reported if they
are doing the same thing with Jewish, Muslim or any other religion???
 
2020-04-06 10:54:46 PM  
And this is why we're going to have two to three years of infection.

Patient 31 in South Korea has been identified as the one who started everything. She went to, guess where, Church, infected everyone there, and they in turn started spreading the virus like wildfire across the country.

And that's one church. One.

Look at what's going on here. As long as these assholes don't get it and continue to spread it, it'll keep going. Because they don't isolate. One comes out and makes your BK. Another part-time works at a convenience store. One uses the gas pump that your SO then uses after them. 

South Korea got a handle on things because well, they believe in goddamned science and they believe in doing everything in their power to stop the growth of a pandemic.

Us? I hear Jared can sell you some ventilators on the cheap.......


https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/0​3​/31-south-korea-sudden-spike-coronavir​us-cases-200303065953841.html
 
2020-04-06 10:55:24 PM  
If these morons want to gather together so badly, then I say let them do it.  And as soon as they are all there, chain the doors closed from the outside, and don't let them out for 14 days.
 
2020-04-06 10:55:46 PM  

p51d007: I see how everyone is reporting on CHRISTIAN church services, but has anyone reported if they
are doing the same thing with Jewish, Muslim or any other religion???


If any were I'm sure Fox would be covering it.
 
2020-04-06 10:55:59 PM  
First cop that starts arresting church goers is gonna see a huge First Amendment lawsuit he and his town will lose.
 
2020-04-06 10:56:17 PM  
Someone should really notify whoever provides the insurance for this guy's church.
 
2020-04-06 10:57:03 PM  

cman: Arrest them

Plain and simple

Obviously they feel that god is more important than citations. A night behind bars may actually change their mind.


Might take more than one night.  One night could be chalked up to "God is just testing us, stay cool."
A week or so...with no end in sight...just might get it through some heads that "Nope, this is for realsies."

No guarantee, though...
 
2020-04-06 10:57:04 PM  
drjekel_mrhyde
Fark your life, pass the offering plate
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-06 10:57:18 PM  

p51d007: I see how everyone is reporting on CHRISTIAN church services, but has anyone reported if they
are doing the same thing with Jewish, Muslim or any other religion???


They are all farking stupid, let's hope this helps bring them closer to their respective gods.
 
2020-04-06 10:57:43 PM  

namegoeshere: Cut their utilities. See how happy the church ladies will be on Easter Sunday when the air is off and the toilets don't flush.


While I like this idea, singling out a church would give them ammunition in their cry of religion being singled out by the government.

What we can hope for is cancellation of their insurance like that other church had happen. Utilities are often a government entity, insurance companies aren't.
 
2020-04-06 10:57:49 PM  
Good thing these people will only hang out with each other and not infect other people...
 
2020-04-06 10:58:29 PM  

p51d007: I see how everyone is reporting on CHRISTIAN church services, but has anyone reported if they
are doing the same thing with Jewish, Muslim or any other religion???


Those other religions aren't nearly as invested in the Lord God Trump. Blessed be the mushroom.
 
2020-04-06 10:58:33 PM  

Cagey B: ginandbacon: Has no one read Matthew 6:6?

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy
closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray
to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father
which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

You've already lost when you lend credence to the Angry Beard Man in the Sky instruction manual by quoting it at them.

What the situation requires is "knock that the fark off, you morons, or we're going to seal you in there with a couple of snipers set up to watch the windows," but this is Louisiana so they'll just have to enjoy their extra big ass Coronavirus combo I guess.


Already lost? Lost what?

Besides, it's not like feeding their persecution complex is a better move. You gotta understand, these are people of the land. The common clay of the deep south. You know...
 
2020-04-06 10:59:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-06 10:59:37 PM  

Running Wild: Cagey B: ginandbacon: Has no one read Matthew 6:6?

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy
closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray
to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father
which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

You've already lost when you lend credence to the Angry Beard Man in the Sky instruction manual by quoting it at them.

What the situation requires is "knock that the fark off, you morons, or we're going to seal you in there with a couple of snipers set up to watch the windows," but this is Louisiana so they'll just have to enjoy their extra big ass Coronavirus combo I guess.

Already lost? Lost what?

Besides, it's not like feeding their persecution complex is a better move. You gotta understand, these are people of the land. The common clay of the deep south. You know...


...neighbors
 
2020-04-06 11:01:19 PM  

TrashcanMan: First cop that starts arresting church goers is gonna see a huge First Amendment lawsuit he and his town will lose.


You seem to have no knowledge of the law, American or otherwise, congratulations!
 
2020-04-06 11:01:51 PM  

p51d007: I see how everyone is reporting on CHRISTIAN church services, but has anyone reported if they
are doing the same thing with Jewish, Muslim or any other religion???


Fox News perhaps
 
2020-04-06 11:03:55 PM  

p51d007: I see how everyone is reporting on CHRISTIAN church services, but has anyone reported if they
are doing the same thing with Jewish, Muslim or any other religion???


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-06 11:04:13 PM  
Just arrest him and put him in jail. If he bails out, do it again. What's the problem here? This guy is endangering the public health and should face more than a series of misdemeanors.
 
2020-04-06 11:04:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


"Where the altar boys at?"
 
2020-04-06 11:05:12 PM  

TrashcanMan: First cop that starts arresting church goers is gonna see a huge First Amendment lawsuit he and his town will lose.


1. He and His? They and their. Speak American.
2. You can limit first amendment rights if it is necessary. It is not legal to scream "fire" in a theater when none exists. Do you have a problem with that?
 
2020-04-06 11:05:43 PM  
"There's a deadly pandemic killing thousands of people, we're strongly suggesting the church close tempor---"

"I'M BEING OPPRESSED, I'M BEING PERSECUTED, FREEDOM OF RELIGION PRAISE JESUS' BLOOD HAIL TRUMP"
 
2020-04-06 11:06:51 PM  

p51d007: I see how everyone is reporting on CHRISTIAN church services, but has anyone reported if they
are doing the same thing with Jewish, Muslim or any other religion???


Actually, I saw something about how the Israeli govt. is going after some ultra-othodox loons off in some settlement who won't do any of the sane things because G-d.says.
 
2020-04-06 11:06:58 PM  
It's darwinism at work, folks.  Just sit back and let it happen. Safely, from inside your house, and don't let anyone in.
 
2020-04-06 11:07:35 PM  
Anyone know who insures this asshole? Because those guys apparently weild the power of Mammon which overpowers God in most instances.
 
2020-04-06 11:07:47 PM  
As Flip Wilson once said, "You can deny the allegation, but you can't deny the alligator!"
 
2020-04-06 11:08:00 PM  
Say "hi" to Jesus when you meet him, you f*cking plague rats.

Things will be different after this.
 
2020-04-06 11:09:49 PM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image 647x364]

"Where the altar boys at?"


What's up with all of those bollards?
 
2020-04-06 11:09:57 PM  

ginandbacon: Has no one read Matthew 6:6?

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy
closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray
to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father
which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."


You're not wrong.

One of the problems I have discovered in life is that quoting the actual Bible, either Original Flavor or New Flavor, has a tendency to lose most of the people who think they have faith.

I'm not opposed to faith. I just don't share theirs (whatever it happens to be). They can have it. In fact in a lot of ways I am very likely to find things that I like about it. If they're not a massive hypocrite.

/is it just me or is king david a mary sue in boy's clothing (i could be wrong! but i don't think i'm wrong)
//and generally speaking when nobody can agree upon which gospel about the actual words of Christ that might be a good sign (perhaps even a sign from god) that all of them were LARPing
///any protestant who focuses on Original Flavor for angry invective automatically fails all D20 rolls for the next hundred billion years
////i believe in the universe
 
2020-04-06 11:10:21 PM  
Proverbs 22:3 -- New International Version (NIV)

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.
 
2020-04-06 11:11:12 PM  
This really is the ideal test of FAITH, Satan wants to infect the unbelievers, and only the truly worthy will be spared HIS wrath. I suggest you all test early and often, with practice sneezing and coughs, just to make sure the DEVIL stays away, mostly in large groups, as CHRIST suggested in Matthew 6:5! AMEN!

/And do not mix with the unbelievers, and respectith their quarantine, so sayeth the LORD
 
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