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(Medium)   The real reason that toilet paper is so scarce right now in these coronavirus times? Difficulty: Not other arsewipers, it's you   (marker.medium.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Toilet paper, Supply chain management, toilet paper, Toilet, Paper, Feces, Grocery store, toilet paper outages  
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5759 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2020 at 11:55 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-04-02 7:47:23 PM  
TL;DR

1. Shiat tickets for commercial and consumer markets aren't interchangeable (distribution and dispenser-wise).
B. We're all shiatting more at home and not at work.
 
2020-04-02 7:57:25 PM  
The empty shelves started weeks before we were all stuck at home.
 
2020-04-02 8:03:32 PM  

grokca: The empty shelves started weeks before we were all stuck at home.


This
 
2020-04-02 8:06:49 PM  
"Stocking up" causes more stocking up. When the TP re-appeared in the stores, people bought more than they normally would to make sure they wouldn't have to worry about it again for a while.
 
2020-04-02 8:13:52 PM  

bingethinker: "Stocking up" causes more stocking up. When the TP re-appeared in the stores, people bought more than they normally would to make sure they wouldn't have to worry about it again for a while.


I had read (granted it was on here) that the trigger was a tweet in Japan that China was no longer shipping toilet paper there which prompted them to hoard and it went from there.

Not sure how much was true but it sounds plausible
 
2020-04-02 8:32:54 PM  
Toilet paper is still being manufactured, shipped and stocked as it's always been, but the seniors are buying it all up in the morning, then everybody else snaps up the 1 limit per 4-roll package within minutes.

Where are these people storing all this toilet paper?  They're going to have to build a shed or rent a closed lockable trailer soon.
 
2020-04-02 8:33:46 PM  
According to the nice lady behind the plexiglas at the Stop & Shop customer service desk, they are still getting toilet paper and paper towels, just a reduced amount (she doesn't know why), and as soon as they open in the morning for the 'Senior Citizens and Immunodeficient Shopping Time', the shelves get stripped bare by the elderly shoppers.
 
2020-04-02 8:38:01 PM  
It would be comical if it wasn't tragic as well.  C'mon Boomer, we like to be able to wipe our asses like civilized folk, too.  Just because you didn't do it at Woodstock, shouldn't mean everybody else should deal with the scarcity during a national crisis.
 
2020-04-02 8:39:22 PM  
No, it's not me, asswipemitter, because we bought our usual multipack about a week before everything went plaid and thankfully haven't needed to replace it yet.
 
2020-04-02 8:51:36 PM  
At the grocery store where I work, we got in five cases of toilet paper, in 12-roll packages. We broke those down into bags of four rolls each, just to have enough for customers. These are weird times we're living in.
 
2020-04-02 9:20:46 PM  
I am proud to say I have not hoarded anything in this. In February, I knew all of this would happen, and I got a couple of basic things and started picking up a bit extra here and there, nothing crazy. I grabbed one giant 32 pack of TP before we needed it as soon as I started seeing that depleted, and that's it. Over the weeks starting in February, I grabbed some combination of an extra bag of rice, beans, some ramen, flour, salt, oil, etc... just staple items, not all at once, and not a goddam cart full at a time. Extra pack of some kind of meat here and there for the freezer.

So as far as food security goes, we're doing fine, we'd probably be able to stay alive for 2 months with only what we have, at any given time now. Our biggest problem is eggs. We try not to eat or feed our kids a bunch of processed garbage and I feel like the eggs in my area got wiped out by people who panicked and then probably threw them out once they realized they could just eat cheetos, and now we're trying to catch back up to normal supply. My wife bakes/cooks a lot of stuff from scratch, plus we eat them for breakfast, hard-boiled for snacks, and soft-boiled in ramen, so we go through about 18 eggs a week as a family of 4. It took my wife a week of refreshing the grocery apps to find an 8am pickup slot, which finally allowed is to restock.

Personally, I think stores should just always have permanent caps on quantities of stuff people can buy. No one should be able to walk in to Walmart or Publix and fill their cart with more eggs than you can eat before they're rotten. I'd be willing to give a pass to the big box stores, or loosen their standards, but regular-ass grocery shopping should not allow you to wipe out half the supply of their stock in one trip. And spare me the 'but muh Constitutionz' BS, because grocery stores already do this with stuff, e.g. medicine and wine.
 
2020-04-02 9:30:21 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-02 9:38:26 PM  
We've still got more than three dozen mega rolls of Charmin that we bought long before any of this happened. We just happened to hit a perfect storm of coupons and sale price that got us 40% off.
 
2020-04-02 9:45:15 PM  
Difficulty: Not other arsewipers, it's you

I've used less than half a roll in the past two weeks.

My local store has it back in stock, and I bought a couple rolls just to be on the safe side on my most recent once-weekly unsealing of the vault.

tl;dr: go f*ck yourself while staring into a mirror, subby.
 
2020-04-02 9:46:33 PM  

Polezni Durak: 1. Shiat tickets for commercial and consumer markets aren't interchangeable (distribution and dispenser-wise).


If you require a dispenser in order to use toilet paper to wipe your ass I don't know what to tell you other than nice knowing you.
 
2020-04-02 9:52:53 PM  

Sid_6.7: I've used less than half a roll in the past two weeks.


Pretty proud of my 3 year old daughter, she's still in late-stage potty training and she's the best at using exactly 2 squares every time she empties her bladder. Which is often.
 
2020-04-02 10:15:05 PM  

hobnail: No, it's not me, asswipemitter, because we bought our usual multipack about a week before everything went plaid and thankfully haven't needed to replace it yet.



me neither. I  bought a 4-pack in December and am still on the first roll.
 
2020-04-02 10:16:52 PM  
Fake News! I was vehemently assured by Fark experts in an earlier thread that there is absolutely no supply issue and that our inability to by toilet paper where we live was a lie since it was available on the questionably-legal online gouging market.

/I'm not buying TP on the dark web, thanks
//also, who hoards it? We're at home ffs not on a field exercise in the desert. Use water.
///3 rolls charge for my ted talk
 
2020-04-02 10:51:55 PM  
My neighbor was at the store a few days ago and she reports they have a limit on TP purchases. The cashier said they were seeing the same people come in every single day to buy toilet paper.
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2020-04-02 11:11:13 PM  

edmo: My neighbor was at the store a few days ago and she reports they have a limit on TP purchases. The cashier said they were seeing the same people come in every single day to buy toilet paper.


They need to mandate the use of a frequent shopper card and tie purchases to that card.
 
2020-04-03 12:00:28 AM  

grokca: The empty shelves started weeks before we were all stuck at home.


You plan ahead, right?
 
2020-04-03 12:00:50 AM  
Kinda reminds me of farkheads who drive in the city and then complain about being "stuck in traffic."  You're not stuck in traffic, idiot, you are traffic.
 
2020-04-03 12:01:30 AM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: hobnail: No, it's not me, asswipemitter, because we bought our usual multipack about a week before everything went plaid and thankfully haven't needed to replace it yet.


me neither. I  bought a 4-pack in December and am still on the first roll.


Username does NOT check out
 
2020-04-03 12:02:41 AM  
My theory is that it's all the people who grew up playing Oregon Trail and having panicked flashbacks of the whole party dying of dysentery.
 
2020-04-03 12:03:19 AM  

TWX: edmo: My neighbor was at the store a few days ago and she reports they have a limit on TP purchases. The cashier said they were seeing the same people come in every single day to buy toilet paper.

They need to mandate the use of a frequent shopper card and tie purchases to that card.


I was thinking something along the same lines: We might not know who's hoarding shiatpaper, but at Costco you can't check out without them scanning your card, so they sure as fark know down to the roll.
 
2020-04-03 12:07:28 AM  

rikkards: I had read (granted it was on here) that the trigger was a tweet in Japan that China was no longer shipping toilet paper there which prompted them to hoard and it went from there.

Not sure how much was true but it sounds plausible


That was combined with the fires in Australia supposedly wiping out some pulping mills which wasn't true.  The fires did wipe out a number of remote lumber camps.

Does China even export much toilet paper? I would suspect Japan would get most of its toilet paper from Russia if it imported any at all.
 
2020-04-03 12:08:19 AM  
It may well get worse now that the Midwest and South are getting it and those folks have acres of land and sheds and spare storage rooms and root cellars (torture dungeons) to store vast quantities of un-needed TP and other products. And no shortage of stupid and cowardly.
 
2020-04-03 12:09:23 AM  

grokca: The empty shelves started weeks before we were all stuck at home.


Gladda see this has been covered
 
2020-04-03 12:10:15 AM  
Right, it is just the damn libs won't let me buy AR-14 fully automatic  assault toilet paper!
 
2020-04-03 12:11:37 AM  
Most shiatters I know of at home have showers or tubs adjacent for a reason.
 
2020-04-03 12:11:48 AM  
Wash your arse, keep your hands clean!

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2020-04-03 12:14:36 AM  

meerclarschild: the questionably-legal online gouging market.


A friend, who's always on the look out for a hustle, tapped into the now dormant commercial TP chain and has been selling packs of two of that garbage for god knows how much.
 
2020-04-03 12:15:02 AM  

pup.socket: Wash your arse, keep your hands clean!

[images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 300x300]


Push the wrong button and get a free colonoscopy!
 
2020-04-03 12:15:56 AM  
LisaTurnsOnSprinker.GIF
 
2020-04-03 12:16:07 AM  

Majin_Buu: My theory is that it's all the people who grew up playing Oregon Trail and having panicked flashbacks of the whole party dying of dysentery.


I've done that trip iRL both directions now.  More likely to die of boredom or exploded bladder.
 
2020-04-03 12:16:09 AM  

Jake Havechek: Toilet paper is still being manufactured, shipped and stocked as it's always been, but the seniors are buying it all up in the morning, then everybody else snaps up the 1 limit per 4-roll package within minutes.

Where are these people storing all this toilet paper?  They're going to have to build a shed or rent a closed lockable trailer soon.


Who do you think's running the black market for TP?
 
2020-04-03 12:16:30 AM  
I really have to wonder how much less toilet paper would get used if they suddenly stopped selling coffee.
 
2020-04-03 12:16:46 AM  

MaelstromFL: pup.socket: Wash your arse, keep your hands clean!

[images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 300x300]

Push the wrong button and get a free colonoscopy!


You sayin' I've been missing out on these for 20 years now?

Which one is the "wrong button"?
 
2020-04-03 12:17:08 AM  
Stores really need to set strict limits on purchases. We only found toilet paper this week because Target had a limit of 1 package. The only packages left had 30 rolls. We're set for a very long time.

My husband went into Walmart right when the doors opened on Tuesday. He asked about hand sanitizer and the woman said she had just brought out 2 cases of it to put on the shelf. They walked over to get some, and the boxes were already gone. That's farking ridiculous and greedy.
 
2020-04-03 12:18:44 AM  
I'm going to leave a note that if I pass away to wrap me in my beautiful toilet paper before toasting me.

/ don't overeat like so many do so little in little out
//I don't use a roll a month
///lives alone so YMMV on roll count
 
2020-04-03 12:19:33 AM  
History will look back at these events with the same mysticism as stone henge. Philosoraptors will be left with only one explanation
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2020-04-03 12:20:59 AM  

cefm: It may well get worse now that the Midwest and South are getting it and those folks have acres of land and sheds and spare storage rooms and root cellars (torture dungeons) to store vast quantities of un-needed TP and other products. And no shortage of stupid and cowardly.


So we send in the military to pacify the region and liberate the TP stores.  If they don't give up the TP willingly, nuke the population centers and make the POWs eat the irradiated corpses of their brethren until they submit to the power of the military.
Problem solved.
 
2020-04-03 12:21:04 AM  

bingethinker: "Stocking up" causes more stocking up. When the TP re-appeared in the stores, people bought more than they normally would to make sure they wouldn't have to worry about it again for a while.


Not really, for normal ops. For me,stocking up means I have 2 9 roll packs, when I have at least 4 rolls at home. For paper towels, its an open 8 roll pack with a spare pack. Because even though I use spill towels that can be laundered- its a good idea to just have the paper ones available should birds use my windscreen as a bombing target, etc.
Now, since things went south, I was prepared, kinda.
I was down to 2 rolls of tp when I was waiting to get into trader joes for milk last week and noticed someone emerge from big lots with a 9 roll pack. i bought the milk, and then went in and bought one 9 pack for myself. I think there were 15 in the store.
 
2020-04-03 12:22:28 AM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: hobnail: No, it's not me, asswipemitter, because we bought our usual multipack about a week before everything went plaid and thankfully haven't needed to replace it yet.


me neither. I  bought a 4-pack in December and am still on the first roll.


We're talking about using the paper, not the roll. But Imy friend does not recommend reusing the rolls after anal play either.
 
2020-04-03 12:24:24 AM  
/r/trashy
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-04-03 12:24:33 AM  
What they aren't telling you about the 'rona crisis:

Fark user imageView Full Size


*adjusts tinfoil hat for extra jauntiness*
 
2020-04-03 12:25:07 AM  
that's a good point, an empty roll is still good for two scrapes.
 
2020-04-03 12:25:42 AM  

grokca: The empty shelves started weeks before we were all stuck at home.


Sorry, but if you would have known your local stock up you'll never run out.
 
2020-04-03 12:25:46 AM  

Prof. Frink: SoundOfOneHandWanking: hobnail: No, it's not me, asswipemitter, because we bought our usual multipack about a week before everything went plaid and thankfully haven't needed to replace it yet.


me neither. I  bought a 4-pack in December and am still on the first roll.

We're talking about using the paper, not the roll. But Imy friend does not recommend reusing the rolls after anal play either.


That sounds like a job for a wet-dry vacuum instead of TP
 
2020-04-03 12:27:37 AM  
This article needs to wipe the bullshiat off its cheeks.  Most commercial places use commercial bulk toilet paper or hire cleaning crews that do.  I have yet to be in any corporate offices for instance that use anything close to what I use at home, quality-wise.  And, how many times during a day do you shiat at work that it now takes supply chain shift to get you all the supplies?  Sure, you're kids are home too now.  But don't most people shiat like once, maybe twice a day?  What is this article really covering up?
 
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