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(BBC-US)   There may soon be a quick, non-invasive coronavirus testing method available. Your tester wants steak   (bbc.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Infectious disease, Specialist sniffer dogs, charity Medical Detection Dogs, Durham University, Pandemic, World Health Organization, Prof Steve Lindsay, Charity boss Dr Claire Guest  
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3821 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2020 at 6:35 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-03-30 4:39:30 PM  
Butthole sniffing is my fetish
 
2020-03-30 6:37:48 PM  
Yeah.
Right.
 
2020-03-30 6:37:52 PM  
I remember something about dogs sniffing cancer.

Keep in mind there is an expression in corporate buzz speak: "smell test". As in "Ok this passed the smell test, let's do some actual work and find out for real what we are dealing with".

In other words, you'd still need an actual test.
 
2020-03-30 6:39:17 PM  
Great, until some asshole starts rubbing beggin strips on their friends pants before they go to the doctor for testing
 
2020-03-30 6:41:37 PM  
Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.
 
2020-03-30 6:44:51 PM  
Six weeks, folks.

That's how long it takes to train them. So don't start nuzzling each other's sacks just yet, 'k?
 
2020-03-30 6:46:07 PM  

H31N0US: I remember something about dogs sniffing cancer.

Keep in mind there is an expression in corporate buzz speak: "smell test". As in "Ok this passed the smell test, let's do some actual work and find out for real what we are dealing with".

In other words, you'd still need an actual test.


Yep. This is meant as a pre-screening - if the dog cues on you, boom! Eligible for a test. You know what's horrible about that?

That implies that, six weeks or so down the road from now, we still won't have enough tests to be able to get tested on demand for COVID-19.
 
2020-03-30 6:48:49 PM  
So, after the herd immunity, Brexitannia and Boris discover the wunderwaffle in their war against the virus?
 
2020-03-30 6:51:29 PM  
Dogs might not get sick from COVID-19 but they can be hosts that spread it. Be cautious of interacting with any living thing that hasn't spent the last three weeks in home confinement with you.

/probably not as dangerous as your SO if you hum that TV show theme song just one more time
 
2020-03-30 6:53:05 PM  
miro.medium.comView Full Size

/it's a fair cop
 
2020-03-30 6:55:43 PM  
They're already working on a better way. You hang a crystal pendulum over the person's head. If it swings side to side they're OK, if it swings in a circle, they have covid-19.
 
2020-03-30 6:56:11 PM  

FormlessOne: That implies that, six weeks or so down the road from now, we still won't have enough tests to be able to get tested on demand for COVID-19.


I don't believe that. But I'm often wrong so whatever.

A few years ago, Charlie Sheen started taking an experimental drug that he and his docs claim reduced his viral load to near undetectable. One shot, once a week.

They're trying it on COVID-19 patients in NYC to positive results. Small sample size, etc. But things will tend to move faster now. This country is all kinds of farked up but is still a good bet for innovation when it's needed.

https://nypost.com/2020/03/28/coronav​i​rus-patients-taken-off-ventilators-aft​er-getting-experimental-hiv-drug/
 
2020-03-30 6:59:58 PM  

FormlessOne: Six weeks, folks.
That's how long it takes to train them. So don't start nuzzling each other's sacks just yet, 'k?


Well sh*t.
 
2020-03-30 7:00:36 PM  
I got COVID tested today. Result in under 4 hours. Last week it took 7-10 days. This gives me hope
 
2020-03-30 7:00:57 PM  

Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.


You can't fathom how far apart sailors have to be.
 
2020-03-30 7:02:44 PM  
who's a good boy

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-30 7:03:27 PM  

distractions and diversions: I got COVID tested today. Result in under 4 hours. Last week it took 7-10 days. This gives me hope


Is that your hobby or something?
 
2020-03-30 7:03:38 PM  
I figured out how to make a better medical mask. Out of a medical mask.

I stapled a micro-cloth eye-glass cleaner, such as you can buy in any dollar store for about a dollar of x for a dollar over a paper medical mask. Voilà, stylish and more comfortable and durable than paper alone.

I think I might try some other experiments, for example, using scarves, hankies and so forth to make fashionable and comfortable face wear.

Also, I have one of those umbrellas you can pull down over your head. They make great sneeze screens. It's like wearing a giant Mush Mouth hat over your upper body. If you had a full-body condom, you'd be all set -- for heat stroke by April 1st.
 
2020-03-30 7:09:26 PM  
A portable Lab to detect the virus?
 
2020-03-30 7:09:29 PM  
"I'm serious. I'm not telling you if you have the Coronavirus until I get a steak"
ichef.bbci.co.ukView Full Size
 
2020-03-30 7:09:29 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Yeah.
Right.


Yeah Right!!!

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2020-03-30 7:11:00 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.

You can't fathom how far apart sailors have to be.


You been waiting fur long to tell that?
 
2020-03-30 7:16:13 PM  

distractions and diversions: I got COVID tested today. Result in under 4 hours. Last week it took 7-10 days. This gives me hope


So do you got it, or what?
 
2020-03-30 7:16:32 PM  

wademh: NotThatGuyAgain: Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.

You can't fathom how far apart sailors have to be.

You been waiting fur long to tell that?


He meters them over time.
 
2020-03-30 7:24:32 PM  

distractions and diversions: I got COVID tested today. Result in under 4 hours. Last week it took 7-10 days. This gives me hope


did you have symptoms or just wasting  needed test
 
2020-03-30 7:28:03 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


"You want me to do whuuut?"
 
2020-03-30 7:28:04 PM  

Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.


6 feet distance is easy to remember if you think of the blood circle of an axe:
Fark user imageView Full Size

If you can be hit by a person holding an axe, you're too close.

/Helpful hint: holding an axe almost guarantees people will give adequate clearance.
 
2020-03-30 7:28:51 PM  

Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.


1.8288 meters. Stupid metric system. Never works out to a whole number.
 
2020-03-30 7:30:36 PM  

distractions and diversions: I got COVID tested today. Result in under 4 hours. Last week it took 7-10 days. This gives me hope


Do you work for the British government?
 
2020-03-30 7:49:53 PM  
They tried cats but the cats just killed the infected people.
 
2020-03-30 7:50:21 PM  

distractions and diversions: I got COVID tested today. Result in under 4 hours. Last week it took 7-10 days. This gives me hope


Hope? Probably just means they've run out of test kits now.
 
2020-03-30 7:50:50 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: They tried cats but the cats just killed the infected people.


Use smaller cats.
 
2020-03-30 8:02:19 PM  
Lab test. Crotch sniff optional.
 
2020-03-30 8:49:13 PM  
Anyone that thinks a nasal swab is invasive needs a dose of reality.
 
2020-03-30 9:39:10 PM  

Russ1642: Anyone that thinks a nasal swab is invasive needs a dose of reality.


In that case you may keep your reality and your nasal swab to yourself, because that one is invasive.
 
2020-03-30 9:46:48 PM  

FormlessOne: Six weeks, folks.That's how long it takes to train them. So don't start nuzzling each other's sacks just yet, 'k?


Butt that sounds like fun
 
2020-03-30 9:50:24 PM  

brantgoose: I figured out how to make a better medical mask. Out of a medical mask.

I stapled a micro-cloth eye-glass cleaner, such as you can buy in any dollar store for about a dollar of x for a dollar over a paper medical mask. Voilà, stylish and more comfortable and durable than paper alone.

I think I might try some other experiments, for example, using scarves, hankies and so forth to make fashionable and comfortable face wear.

Also, I have one of those umbrellas you can pull down over your head. They make great sneeze screens. It's like wearing a giant Mush Mouth hat over your upper body. If you had a full-body condom, you'd be all set -- for heat stroke by April 1st.


Doesn't that make a seal moot? The staple.
 
2020-03-30 9:52:53 PM  

Russ1642: Anyone that thinks a nasal swab is invasive needs a dose of reality.


I really hope that swab is clean.
Because considering how deep they're sticking it if it has something on it you're catching that too
 
2020-03-30 10:17:45 PM  

GOSH BARN IT: distractions and diversions: I got COVID tested today. Result in under 4 hours. Last week it took 7-10 days. This gives me hope

Is that your hobby or something?


he is wasting tests for the truely sick l say lets maim him by ebola !
 
2020-03-30 10:22:44 PM  

foo monkey: wademh: NotThatGuyAgain: Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.

You can't fathom how far apart sailors have to be.

You been waiting fur long to tell that?

He meters them over time.


Well when ya have one anchor to hang onto of a pun...It still sinks
 
2020-03-30 10:47:42 PM  

Nidiot: Russ1642: Anyone that thinks a nasal swab is invasive needs a dose of reality.

In that case you may keep your reality and your nasal swab to yourself, because that one is invasive.


Let me guess, you need to squeeze a plush bear and have your mommy hold your hand when you get a needle.
 
2020-03-31 12:04:44 AM  

H31N0US: FormlessOne: That implies that, six weeks or so down the road from now, we still won't have enough tests to be able to get tested on demand for COVID-19.

I don't believe that. But I'm often wrong so whatever.

A few years ago, Charlie Sheen started taking an experimental drug that he and his docs claim reduced his viral load to near undetectable. One shot, once a week.

They're trying it on COVID-19 patients in NYC to positive results. Small sample size, etc. But things will tend to move faster now. This country is all kinds of farked up but is still a good bet for innovation when it's needed.

https://nypost.com/2020/03/28/coronavi​rus-patients-taken-off-ventilators-aft​er-getting-experimental-hiv-drug/


Huh, interesting.  It's a CCR5 receptor.  I sucked at immunology so I looked it up.  Mostly in immune type cells but for some reason it's also found in breast and prostate cancer cells.  It's also the site of entry for one specific strain of HIV.

There is a pop of people with mutations to that receptor that are also immune to that strain of HIV.

Not sure where coronavirus comes in.  Maybe it just calms the inflammatory response.

Any GEDs in immunology that can tell us more?
 
2020-03-31 1:21:21 AM  
Dogs can sniff out cancer, parkinson's and now Covid-19. Rats can detect tuberculosis and possibly other diseases as well. Every hospital should have a small detached (for hygiene) building with a fenced outdoor space that houses pampered diagnostic animals with the dogs rescued from shelters. When not working a shift, they should spend their time playing, eating, sleeping, and getting petted and cuddled. They should be guaranteed life-time care - even when retired because they don't sniff so good anymore. The lives they could save would make the animals well worth the investment in their care.
 
2020-03-31 1:22:54 AM  

Bruscar: Dogs can sniff out cancer, parkinson's and now Covid-19. Rats can detect tuberculosis and possibly other diseases as well. Every hospital should have a small detached (for hygiene) building with a fenced outdoor space that houses pampered diagnostic animals with the dogs rescued from shelters. When not working a shift, they should spend their time playing, eating, sleeping, and getting petted and cuddled. They should be guaranteed life-time care - even when retired because they don't sniff so good anymore. The lives they could save would make the animals well worth the investment in their care.


And with all of those animals together on their days off they can invent new diseases.
 
2020-03-31 2:18:05 AM  

Russ1642: Nidiot: Russ1642: Anyone that thinks a nasal swab is invasive needs a dose of reality.

In that case you may keep your reality and your nasal swab to yourself, because that one is invasive.

Let me guess, you need to squeeze a plush bear and have your mommy hold your hand when you get a needle.


Hey I'm female so I don't need to act macho.

But I've heard women say they were pretty confident about the getting that swab, since they'd given birth and they figured it couldn't be as bad as that. They changed their minds. It's pretty bad.
 
2020-03-31 3:33:22 AM  

Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.


Well, since the average parking space is about 18', depending on if the meters are grouped in pairs, that could be 36'-40' feet apart.
 
2020-03-31 9:05:09 AM  

Nidiot: Russ1642: Nidiot: Russ1642: Anyone that thinks a nasal swab is invasive needs a dose of reality.

In that case you may keep your reality and your nasal swab to yourself, because that one is invasive.

Let me guess, you need to squeeze a plush bear and have your mommy hold your hand when you get a needle.

Hey I'm female so I don't need to act macho.

But I've heard women say they were pretty confident about the getting that swab, since they'd given birth and they figured it couldn't be as bad as that. They changed their minds. It's pretty bad.


You just compared a nasal swab to child birth. That's the same as calling cutting your nails a limb amputation.
 
2020-03-31 11:02:30 AM  

wademh: NotThatGuyAgain: Lochsteppe: Today a sidebar taught me that Brits have to keep 2 meters from others while we Americans have to keep 6 feet. That seems so unfair.

You can't fathom how far apart sailors have to be.

You been waiting fur long to tell that?


They've been keeping that in their aft pocket.
 
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