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(Bangor Daily News)   If you run out of toilet paper, here's what you can use instead   (bangordailynews.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Toilet paper, Toilet, toilet paper, enough toilet paper, Paper products, Paper towels, family cloth, clean t-shirt rags  
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318 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 Mar 2020 at 10:45 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-03-19 9:58:55 AM  
Slow kitten
 
2020-03-19 10:33:14 AM  
Just take a shower
 
2020-03-19 10:47:56 AM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-03-19 10:48:24 AM  

GRCooper: Slow kitten


Just about choked on my coffee reading that. Well done. COTY-worthy.
 
2020-03-19 10:48:30 AM  
We're good on TP. However, we realized on Tuesday that we only have two rolls of paper towels left. I am not going out for just paper towels. Plus, our liquor store announced that it is delivering. Praise be.
 
2020-03-19 10:51:55 AM  
Back yard bidet FTW!
 
2020-03-19 10:54:46 AM  

wax_on: Back yard bidet FTW!


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2020-03-19 10:55:08 AM  
Paper towels and tissue paper?

I assume everyone who lived as a bachelor at one point in their lives already figured out that brilliant "life hack".
 
2020-03-19 10:57:23 AM  
Why? Why would you run out of toilet paper during a respiratory crisis?
 
2020-03-19 11:00:06 AM  

Turnip_the_radio: Why? Why would you run out of toilet paper during a respiratory crisis?


Too broke to afford kleenex?
 
2020-03-19 11:01:14 AM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-03-19 11:02:14 AM  

Turnip_the_radio: Why? Why would you run out of toilet paper during a respiratory crisis?

Breadwinner(s) now working from home, kids not going to school, public events canceled, didn't keep much stock on hand.
 
2020-03-19 11:12:29 AM  
Do you FARKers throw away your unpaired socks??
 
2020-03-19 11:14:11 AM  
Toilet Paper -> Kleenex -> Paper Towels -> Coffee Filters
 
2020-03-19 11:14:51 AM  
I've been alive long enough to remember the days before disposable diapers and wet wipes and I'm not above using a wet cloth and washing it out afterward if it comes to that. People these days are far to afraid of a little poop.
 
2020-03-19 11:15:44 AM  
I am seeing a lot of ads for toilet paper on TV. You'd think they could save their money now, even if I wanted my bum to be soft and clean like the bears on TV, I couldn't find any to buy anyway.
 
2020-03-19 11:16:39 AM  

AintNoAmoeba: Toilet Paper -> Kleenex -> Paper Towels -> Coffee Filters

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2020-03-19 11:19:39 AM  

AintNoAmoeba: Toilet Paper -> Kleenex -> Paper Towels -> Coffee Filters


...(sandpaper) 1200->- 600 ->- 220 ->- 180 ->- 60
 
2020-03-19 11:25:41 AM  

Gough: AintNoAmoeba: Toilet Paper -> Kleenex -> Paper Towels -> Coffee Filters

...(sandpaper) 1200->- 600 ->- 220 ->- 180 ->- 60


60 grit > Bundesbahn TP

You left John Wayne TP out.

/Rough.
//Tough.
///Won't take crap off anybody.
 
2020-03-19 11:49:45 AM  
eddie murphy - delirious (bear & rabbit)
Youtube ZvutG7K8EcE
Slightly NSFW language
 
2020-03-19 12:14:41 PM  
Finally a use for the 75% of the Boston Globe I don't read.
 
2020-03-19 12:42:29 PM  

AintNoAmoeba: Toilet Paper -> Kleenex -> Paper Towels -> Coffee Filters


Dammit! That was MY secret!
 
2020-03-19 1:08:32 PM  
Honestly? We all should be eating less for an obvious reason, leading to less output, one hopes.

I'm just praying the water stays running.

And that the power stays on.
 
2020-03-19 1:20:03 PM  
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2020-03-19 3:32:50 PM  
Not a bad idea if you're confident that the water supply wont be cut off if this gets reallybad.
 
2020-03-19 3:44:52 PM  
also, MAGA hats.
Don't flush them, though.  Burn them in a government-approved ceremony in your burn barrel out back.
 
2020-03-19 3:57:16 PM  

Billy Liar: also, MAGA hats.
Don't flush them, though.  Burn them in a government-approved ceremony in your burn barrel out back.


Would you remove the bit that makes the peak? I imagine that could be painful to wipe with but it could be used as a.. scraper, like a ghetto version of the three seashells ?
 
2020-03-19 4:10:56 PM  
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2020-03-19 4:20:15 PM  
Right here...

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Helps with the bread shortage, too. Truly one of mankind's miracles!
 
2020-03-19 5:27:12 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

On my phone: Mine came out, "I'm out of toilet paper so I'm using the bathroom sink."
 
2020-03-19 6:37:58 PM  

ReapTheChaos: I've been alive long enough to remember the days before disposable diapers and wet wipes and I'm not above using a wet cloth and washing it out afterward if it comes to that. People these days are far to afraid of a little poop.


Beat me to it, this is what I was going to post.
 
2020-03-19 9:47:41 PM  
media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-03-19 11:10:45 PM  

ReapTheChaos: I've been alive long enough to remember the days before disposable diapers and wet wipes and I'm not above using a wet cloth and washing it out afterward if it comes to that. People these days are far to afraid of a little poop.


Yes, My mom kept having babies long after me and I well remember the dirty diaper pail. Hot water wash + clorox and everything was right as rain.
 
2020-03-20 11:05:12 AM  

yakmans_dad: ReapTheChaos: I've been alive long enough to remember the days before disposable diapers and wet wipes and I'm not above using a wet cloth and washing it out afterward if it comes to that. People these days are far to afraid of a little poop.

Yes, My mom kept having babies long after me and I well remember the dirty diaper pail. Hot water wash + clorox and everything was right as rain.


Clorox seems to be even more scarce than TP.
 
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