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(Buzzfeed News)   ColludyRudy is mystified by the Coronavirus panic, is afraid he'll starve to death because he doesn't know how to cook   (buzzfeednews.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Barack Obama, United States presidential election, 2008, Republican Party, Joe Biden, West Nile virus, Democratic Party, Mayor of New York City, Hillary Rodham Clinton  
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3103 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2020 at 5:31 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-03-16 10:50:32 PM  
Bullshiat. You don't have any close friends, Rudy.
 
2020-03-16 10:53:33 PM  
He can go down in the subway and fight Pizza Rat for the last slice for all I care.
 
2020-03-16 10:57:47 PM  
Won't any of his ex-wives cook for him? Not even an occasional bologna sandwich? What kind of schmuck is this guy? Trump gets along great with all his exes this side of Texas. He fires you and asks you for advice two days later.
 
2020-03-16 10:57:54 PM  
<shrug>  He's a grown man, let him figure it out.
 
2020-03-16 11:19:36 PM  
"Giuliani gets the freakout over the coronavirus pandemic, but he doesn't really get it. He wants people to wash their hands and drink lots of water and cough into their elbows, but these empty flights? Eating dinner at home? Canceling playdates? What is this, a war?"

Goddamn right it's a war.
Nature is at war with us using a most insidious and clever weapon.
 
2020-03-17 12:45:24 AM  
I hope he has a Pomeranian that eats his face
 
2020-03-17 3:26:31 AM  
"Could you put out an advertisement for a cook

Hey, here's an even better idea: You could have someone in a professional kitchen cook you some food and have it delivered!  I can't believe no one ever thought of that before me.
 
2020-03-17 5:10:59 AM  

fusillade762: "Could you put out an advertisement for a cook

Hey, here's an even better idea: You could have someone in a professional kitchen cook you some food and have it delivered!  I can't believe no one ever thought of that before me.


I's suggest a local nurse who works in the ER who wants some side money, except they're pretty busy, so maybe a rotating team of ER nurses.
 
2020-03-17 5:12:38 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: <shrug>  He's a grown man, let him figure it out.


I'm not sure if any conservatives truly qualify as grown up.
 
2020-03-17 5:31:52 AM  
I'm sure the lady he pays to do his laundry can cook
 
2020-03-17 5:32:46 AM  

RolandTGunner: "Giuliani gets the freakout over the coronavirus pandemic, but he doesn't really get it. He wants people to wash their hands and drink lots of water and cough into their elbows, but these empty flights? Eating dinner at home? Canceling playdates? What is this, a war?"

Goddamn right it's a war.
Nature is at war with us using a most insidious and clever weapon.


You gotta give nature its credit: it kept its temper in check to an admirable degree for a long time.
 
2020-03-17 5:33:52 AM  
he doesn't really get it.


You can stop reading at that point.
 
2020-03-17 5:43:44 AM  
"afraid he'll starve to death"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-17 5:48:55 AM  

OdradekRex: He can go down in the subway and fight Pizza Rat for the last slice for all I care.


I got $20 on Pizza Rat.
 
2020-03-17 5:58:44 AM  
I'm sure he could just use an app on his phone and get food delivered from one of many thousands of places. I bet even his swanky sit-down restaurants might even consider home delivery if it gets them through this.
 
2020-03-17 6:00:14 AM  
I thought he was a Nosferatu anyway.
 
2020-03-17 6:05:07 AM  
Dang it. He's been rather quiet lately. I was hoping he had suffered a case of permanent laryngitis or that his chronic Cranium Rectomitis had finally caught up to him.
 
2020-03-17 6:07:52 AM  
The only good thing about the current pandemic is the fact that stupid and/or willfully-deluded shiatweasels such as Ghouliani are likely to fall victim to Covid19 and probably die as a result. He is in the dangerous demographic for Covid19 morbidity.

While this is a desirable end state, such Deranged shiatweasels are likely to infect scads of other people directly, and indirectly cause thousands more to become exposed needlessly. By the time Ghouliani and his ilk are finally falling victim to believing their own propaganda, those who pay attention to them can (and probably will) spread the disease much farther afield than might otherwise have happened. Losing the followers of the Deranged shiatweasel political group will be no great loss, but each of them could potentially expose scores of neighbors, relatives, and co-workers by refusing to act rationally in the face of a global farking pandemic.

Buckle up. kids. It's going to be a really bump ride here in the US.
 
2020-03-17 6:13:38 AM  
Newsflash, extremely rich man is miffed that his lifestyle is being inconvenienced by a need to save the little people from death.
 
2020-03-17 6:16:48 AM  
Even if you do know how to cook, it doesn't matter because grocery stores are out of basic supplies.

\irony: when you're told to avoid restaurants, but there's no food available to cook with
 
2020-03-17 6:17:30 AM  

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: OdradekRex: He can go down in the subway and fight Pizza Rat for the last slice for all I care.

I got $20 on Pizza Rat.


It's a tough call. One is the sort of vermin that lurks in the shadows, only dashing out into the light to grab whatever it can and run off with it and the other is Pizza Rat.
 
2020-03-17 6:18:39 AM  
You better boil you a hot dog and use the leftover water for your cup of ramen
 
2020-03-17 6:19:06 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Even if you do know how to cook, it doesn't matter because grocery stores are out of basic supplies.

\irony: when you're told to avoid restaurants, but there's no food available to cook with


My family went grocery shopping yesterday.  They came back with about everything they wanted.  1% milk instead of 2%, but they even bought toilet paper.
 
2020-03-17 6:19:38 AM  

Alphax: I thought he was a Nosferatu anyway.


Well yeah, that's what he means. How's he supposed to get his food with all this social distancing?
 
2020-03-17 6:23:06 AM  
I was hoping my store would be restocking this week.  That this jackass has been in meetings he misunderstood worries me. The meetings part.
 
2020-03-17 6:24:08 AM  

Alphax: Tyrone Slothrop: Even if you do know how to cook, it doesn't matter because grocery stores are out of basic supplies.

\irony: when you're told to avoid restaurants, but there's no food available to cook with

My family went grocery shopping yesterday.  They came back with about everything they wanted.  1% milk instead of 2%, but they even bought toilet paper.


I went to a couple of stores, and they looked like the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse. Nearly all the shelves were bare. Hopefully the stores' supply chains are still working and they'll be restocked soon. Meanwhile, I need to see who's available to deliver.
 
2020-03-17 6:25:10 AM  
Shouldn't have gone and pissed off all the hunter bideners.
 
2020-03-17 6:31:54 AM  
Meh,
He's got plenty of fat reserves.
Take a daily vitamin, drink plenty of water and don't forget a little salt so electricity can travel thru your neurons.
You'll be colluding just fine until this thing blows over.
 
2020-03-17 6:39:45 AM  

aagrajag: RolandTGunner: "Giuliani gets the freakout over the coronavirus pandemic, but he doesn't really get it. He wants people to wash their hands and drink lots of water and cough into their elbows, but these empty flights? Eating dinner at home? Canceling playdates? What is this, a war?"

Goddamn right it's a war.
Nature is at war with us using a most insidious and clever weapon.

You gotta give nature its credit: it kept its temper in check to an admirable degree for a long time.


However it seems to attack mostly the elderly in the most severe way. Did they anger nature more?
 
2020-03-17 6:40:28 AM  

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: OdradekRex: He can go down in the subway and fight Pizza Rat for the last slice for all I care.

I got $20 on Pizza Rat.


Nobody is taking that sucker bet
 
2020-03-17 6:41:42 AM  
"That place is [usually] packed on a Sunday night - packed, packed, packed," he said. "When I walked in, I was the first one there - I got the best table in the house." He had dinner, some drinks. "By the time I left there was no more than 10 people."

Weird. Usually the place clears out after he arrives.
 
2020-03-17 6:45:25 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-17 6:48:45 AM  
If he dies from this, then who'll be the US chief cyber security expert?!  All of our private data is still safe & secure, right?  RIGHT?!
 
2020-03-17 6:52:18 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-17 6:58:59 AM  

brantgoose: Won't any of his ex-wives/ cousins cook for him?


ftfy

Rudy is a cousin farker. Never forget.
 
2020-03-17 6:59:13 AM  
Someone please show him YouTube and one of the cooking channels.
 
2020-03-17 7:01:16 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: You better boil you a hot dog and use the leftover water for your cup of ramen


County jail like typing detected.
 
2020-03-17 7:02:05 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Even if you do know how to cook, it doesn't matter because grocery stores are out of basic supplies.

\irony: when you're told to avoid restaurants, but there's no food available to cook with


Well, according to the governments since forever one should have a couple days to couple weeks of pantry foods on hand at all times.
People's poor planning, even worse execution and sheer ignorance in face of direct advice is why you are making your snarky comment.

The failure to have something to cook is on the individual, not society shutting down. This is also why you have run on the grocery stores that leave them looking positively 1980's Soviet.

Don't biatch if you failed basic citizenship knowledge and civics.

*rolls eyes at poser, goes off to make food and coffee as usual*
 
2020-03-17 7:12:59 AM  
Place the tart in the microwave and heat for 3 seconds.
 
2020-03-17 7:16:01 AM  

JaytheFarkingCanadian: Dang it. He's been rather quiet lately. I was hoping he had suffered a case of permanent laryngitis or that his chronic Cranium Rectomitis had finally caught up to him.


I had the same thought last night.

Last time he disappeared he popped up in Ukraine.
 
2020-03-17 7:16:15 AM  
Stubborn old people stuck in their ways vs merciless elder killing virus

I see how this movie goes
 
2020-03-17 7:16:54 AM  

Bill the unknowing: Place the tart in the microwave and heat for 3 seconds.


How do you fit a prostitute in a microwave?
 
2020-03-17 7:17:05 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: You better boil you a hot dog and use the leftover water for your cup of ramen


Dude, even the ramen is sold out!
 
2020-03-17 7:19:15 AM  

captjc: Bill the unknowing: Place the tart in the microwave and heat for 3 seconds.

How do you fit a prostitute in a microwave?


Chainsaw is the easiest way.
 
2020-03-17 7:19:54 AM  

colon_canoe: aagrajag: RolandTGunner: "Giuliani gets the freakout over the coronavirus pandemic, but he doesn't really get it. He wants people to wash their hands and drink lots of water and cough into their elbows, but these empty flights? Eating dinner at home? Canceling playdates? What is this, a war?"

Goddamn right it's a war.
Nature is at war with us using a most insidious and clever weapon.

You gotta give nature its credit: it kept its temper in check to an admirable degree for a long time.

However it seems to attack mostly the elderly in the most severe way. Did they anger nature more?


Yes because they don't have sex anymore and reproduce. By extension  they are a burden to the species.

/i read a  book
 
2020-03-17 7:34:38 AM  

exqqqme: colon_canoe: aagrajag: RolandTGunner: "Giuliani gets the freakout over the coronavirus pandemic, but he doesn't really get it. He wants people to wash their hands and drink lots of water and cough into their elbows, but these empty flights? Eating dinner at home? Canceling playdates? What is this, a war?"

Goddamn right it's a war.
Nature is at war with us using a most insidious and clever weapon.

You gotta give nature its credit: it kept its temper in check to an admirable degree for a long time.

However it seems to attack mostly the elderly in the most severe way. Did they anger nature more?

Yes because they don't have sex anymore and reproduce. By extension  they are a burden to the species.

/i read a  book


Hmph. Makes sense.
 
2020-03-17 7:41:39 AM  
Grocery stores are full of people who don't know how to cook right now.  Then there are the people who do know how to cook but really prefer eating out.

Ancient Rome had lots of take out because a kitchen in every city dwelling was to expensive and a fire hazard.
 
2020-03-17 7:44:31 AM  
Go ahead and starve to death.
 
2020-03-17 7:50:15 AM  

colon_canoe: aagrajag: RolandTGunner: "Giuliani gets the freakout over the coronavirus pandemic, but he doesn't really get it. He wants people to wash their hands and drink lots of water and cough into their elbows, but these empty flights? Eating dinner at home? Canceling playdates? What is this, a war?"

Goddamn right it's a war.
Nature is at war with us using a most insidious and clever weapon.

You gotta give nature its credit: it kept its temper in check to an admirable degree for a long time.

However it seems to attack mostly the elderly in the most severe way. Did they anger nature more?


Nature has always culled the old, the weak and the sick.  She's just had her targeting definition updated to include the stupid and the acquaintances of the stupid.
 
2020-03-17 7:57:27 AM  

brantgoose: Won't any of his ex-wives cook for him? Not even an occasional bologna sandwich? What kind of schmuck is this guy? Trump gets along great with all his exes this side of Texas. He fires you and asks you for advice two days later.


They do.   Let's just say that's not ketchup on the bologna...
 
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