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(AP News)   Remember always laughing at all those paranoid doomsday preppers and their crazy ideas of stockpiling everything? Well now they're laughing at us   (apnews.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene, Howard Hughes, Associated Press, Toilet paper, Disinfectant, Toilet, Howard Hughes Medical Institute  
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3445 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2020 at 1:51 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



255 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-03-15 10:42:10 AM  
No, it's still ok to laugh. Do you know what a Deuce and a half is? I knew one prepper who had *5 of those goddamned things. That's insane.
 
2020-03-15 10:46:46 AM  
"The vast majority of this is 'beans and Band-Aids,' not 'bullets and bunkers,'" Ramey said.

Surviving on horrible food doesn't really sound that great.
 
2020-03-15 11:05:55 AM  
We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns.
 
2020-03-15 11:41:54 AM  
Yeah, I'm still going to laugh at people who eat soup from a bucket.
 
2020-03-15 11:45:08 AM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: "The vast majority of this is 'beans and Band-Aids,' not 'bullets and bunkers,'" Ramey said.

Surviving on horrible food doesn't really sound that great.


Starving to death sounds worse.
 
2020-03-15 12:06:48 PM  

cretinbob: Yeah, I'm still going to laugh at people who eat soup from a bucket.


Oblig:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-15 12:18:46 PM  
Toilet paper and hand sanitizer will be back in stock by the end of the week.
 
2020-03-15 12:23:56 PM  

FlyingBacon: We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns.


Oh good for you. We aren't preppers but with just a few purchases my wife and I are set for two weeks or more.
 
2020-03-15 12:48:30 PM  
I mostly laugh at them for the reasons they prep. Most have to do with the govt. collapsing for some reason or the US dollar losing all value. The ones on the shows have the occasional racist reasons (invasion from other countries, terror attack on the local Piggly Wiggly).

My prep plan just involves bullets.
 
2020-03-15 12:58:19 PM  
There is a major difference between a prepper, a doomer, and someone who understood that when the CCP puts its entire economy in jeopardy that something HUGE is coming down the pipe. We didn't know what the numbers were, but buying non-perishable food, enough supplies to stay away from people for an extended period of time, and masks was not a crazy idea.

This virus has been clearly out of containment and in the wild for 1.5 months now. It's kind of scary in the age of the internet how long it takes most of the world to wake up.

And 70% of Republicans still haven't, because Trump and Lumpy Hannity told them there was nothing to worry about.
 
2020-03-15 1:03:30 PM  

arrogantbastich: No, it's still ok to laugh. Do you know what a Deuce and a half is? I knew one prepper who had *5 of those goddamned things. That's insane.


Now that I have a second, I'm going to dig in a bit deeper on this. So this guy recently passed away and his stuff was mostly sold off or just outright given away. I cannot possibly detail out the scale if what this man did, but he had full totes *TOTES* of flameless ration heaters. Judging but the dates on many items, he'd been doing his hoarding since the mid 70s. Lots of Vietnam era items.

The thing is, dudes family was just his mother and he had only a tiny handful of like minded friends who also have their own stashes. Which made disbursement of his pile horrible. Tons of expired food and medicine. Improperly stored kit items that perished it seemed back in the 90s..

The mental illness portion of this isn't ever really stressed because it is easier to make fun of a guy who spent 125K on impractical utility vehicles that he didn't even have enough fuel for.
 
2020-03-15 1:06:31 PM  
Opening a tote marked 'first aide' and it being filled with various cream and oitments... Most of which had leaked all over the rest of the content.. I can't describe the smell other than gasp inducing.
 
2020-03-15 1:29:32 PM  
You can't have any of my food.
 
2020-03-15 1:41:11 PM  
Doomsday preppers are always laughing at the rest of us.  That's what makes them so unlikable.

They live in this fantasy where they will sit high on a hoard of essential goods and we come begging to them, abject on our knees because we can't live without the government giving us everything we need, and they look down on us with the power of life and death in their hands and tell us to go starve.  Especially that b*tch Stacey who didn't want to go to prom with me.  Yeah, Stacey, I look pretty good right now, don't I Stacey?  But I know it's just the advanced malnutrition that's making you say you love me, Stacey.  You had your chance.  Beat feet.

Of course, their fantasy sort of ends with us crawling away to penitently expire.  It doesn't end the way it would actually end, when we band together in numbers greater than theirs and take the food anyway.
 
2020-03-15 1:47:29 PM  
When I can still drive thru for a Big Mac, we're not exactly in End Times.

Even in Italy tou can still go down to the corner grocer to re-stock.
 
2020-03-15 1:54:06 PM  

arrogantbastich: No, it's still ok to laugh. Do you know what a Deuce and a half is? I knew one prepper who had *5 of those goddamned things. That's insane.


Sounds about right, 1 to drive and 4 for parts.
 
2020-03-15 1:54:38 PM  

wejash: When I can still drive thru for a Big Mac, we're not exactly in End Times.

Even in Italy tou can still go down to the corner grocer to re-stock.


Imagine what our keyboards and touchscreens will look like once we run out of toilet paper. And we'll see who downplays this stuff then.

/yup, that's what i thought
 
2020-03-15 1:56:23 PM  

FlyingBacon: We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns.


Hide better.
 
2020-03-15 1:57:50 PM  
The store didn't have any toilet paper so I bought my first AR-15 this week.

6 of one, half-dozen of another.
 
2020-03-15 1:59:04 PM  

macadamnut: FlyingBacon: We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns.

Hide better.


And let us know when family becomes food.
 
2020-03-15 1:59:14 PM  
I wonder how much a lifetime supply of toilet paper is, one roll or one million rolls?  If everyone is dead does it really matter if you wipe your ass or not?
 
2020-03-15 1:59:28 PM  

macadamnut: FlyingBacon: We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns.

Hide better.


Spoken like someone who has wasted their lives trying to make the government as ineffective as possible.

"Be afraid! We should know because of what we've done to it!"
 
2020-03-15 1:59:50 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: "The vast majority of this is 'beans and Band-Aids,' not 'bullets and bunkers,'" Ramey said.

Surviving on horrible food doesn't really sound that great.


You eat Band-Aids? No wonder you need more bullets, you have to have them to complete a nutritious breakfast.
6.8.0
 
2020-03-15 2:00:34 PM  
<<<
who operates a firearms and safety training business
>>>

But of course he does.
 
2020-03-15 2:00:47 PM  

not enough beer: FlyingBacon: We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns.

Oh good for you. We aren't preppers but with just a few purchases my wife and I are set for two weeks or more.


It's kinda funny.  Here in the PNW we know damn well Trump won't help us if we see an earthquake, so I have a month or more of supplies before I have to start digging into the long-term stuff.

/Not a prepper, still didn't have to run out and buy toilet paper or purell in a panic
//To be fair, the one thing I'm running low on is the one thing Trump actually delivers in disaster zones, paper towels
///Three for victory
 
2020-03-15 2:01:06 PM  

arrogantbastich: No, it's still ok to laugh. Do you know what a Deuce and a half is? I knew one prepper who had *5 of those goddamned things. That's insane.


Yeah, there have been some times where I wonder what the hell I ate when my normal deuce became a deuce and a half.


Can't imagine experiencing that five times at once.
 
2020-03-15 2:01:47 PM  

Wookie_Jesus: SoundOfOneHandWanking: "The vast majority of this is 'beans and Band-Aids,' not 'bullets and bunkers,'" Ramey said.

Surviving on horrible food doesn't really sound that great.

You eat Band-Aids? No wonder you need more bullets, you have to have them to complete a nutritious breakfast.
6.8.0


Let's be clear: one must be flexible in this survival business.
 
2020-03-15 2:01:54 PM  
I've got enough staples on hand to go a month easily, 2 months with some pretty strict rationing, the big limiting factor for me is protein because I only have 2 refrigerators and no deep freeze. This is just my normal living, not any kind of 'prepping' which is why I don't have the deep freeze (I hate the texture of most frozen meat) or canned freeze dried protein. I figure if shiat is so bad that I can't get food for >2 months that I don't really want to extend the suffering anyways.
 
2020-03-15 2:02:20 PM  
They're still nuts and the cackle of the insane doesn't bother me.
 
2020-03-15 2:02:25 PM  
Whatever, these people are still borderline paranoid nutjobs.
 
2020-03-15 2:02:55 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-03-15 2:03:40 PM  

arrogantbastich: No, it's still ok to laugh. Do you know what a Deuce and a half is? I knew one prepper who had *5 of those goddamned things. That's insane.


This.  I have clean water, sewer, electricity, and groceries can be delivered.  I also have the internet, streaming movies etc.  Hardly eating the goo out of my neighbors heads.
 
2020-03-15 2:03:42 PM  

wejash: When I can still drive thru for a Big Mac, we're not exactly in End Times.

Even in Italy tou can still go down to the corner grocer to re-stock.


Shhhhhh.  Let them have their fun.  They're still just as wrong and stupid now as they were before, but they're harmless.
 
2020-03-15 2:03:49 PM  
I stocked up the freezer and the pantry 2 1/2 weeks ago. Nothing crazy, but a VERY large grocery trip since my house only has 2 people in it. ($500 for mostly cheap boxed and canned stuffs. Plus a bunch of beer.)

Several people I know laughed at me. This week they are trying to stock up themselves, but the cheaper stores are completely empty, and the warehouses that supply them are too.

I feel smug.
 
2020-03-15 2:04:14 PM  

Uncle Eazy: I mostly laugh at them for the reasons they prep. Most have to do with the govt. collapsing for some reason or the US dollar losing all value. The ones on the shows have the occasional racist reasons (invasion from other countries, terror attack on the local Piggly Wiggly).

My prep plan just involves bullets.


the good thing about that is that theyre edible , at least the first one is
 
2020-03-15 2:04:28 PM  

arrogantbastich: No, it's still ok to laugh. Do you know what a Deuce and a half is? I knew one prepper who had *5 of those goddamned things. That's insane.


That's not a prepper.  That's a *COLLECTOR*.  He may also prep, but he's collection 2 1/2 ton trucks.
 
2020-03-15 2:06:16 PM  
I've decided to kill 2 birds with one stone... I just keep downing the Oxycodone. Get enough Oxycontin into you and you will NEVER need toilet paper because you'll be so constipated that  you'll never shiat again, plus with the oxy, you won't care! Win-win, I'm surprised Trump doesn't announce that as his national Covid-19 strategy!
 
2020-03-15 2:07:56 PM  

i ignore u: but they're harmless.


I sure hope you're right.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
 
2020-03-15 2:08:02 PM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: There is a major difference between a prepper, a doomer, and someone who understood that when the CCP puts its entire economy in jeopardy that something HUGE is coming down the pipe. We didn't know what the numbers were, but buying non-perishable food, enough supplies to stay away from people for an extended period of time, and masks was not a crazy idea.

This virus has been clearly out of containment and in the wild for 1.5 months now. It's kind of scary in the age of the internet how long it takes most of the world to wake up.

And 70% of Republicans still haven't, because Trump and Lumpy Hannity told them there was nothing to worry about.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-15 2:08:28 PM  
Yeah, no. Surviving to live surrounded by preppers? I'd rather be dead.
 
2020-03-15 2:08:54 PM  

toraque: //To be fair, the one thing I'm running low on is the one thing Trump actually delivers in disaster zones, paper towels


Paper towels were in short supply here for the last few days, but as of yesterday, you were literally tripping over them in any store. Also Lowes\HD is well stocked on stuff that will serve the same purpose.

The run here right now is on any kind of cereal that is either good for you or fun, tampons, and Tide. TP is still tough to come by, but we stocked up before this by chance when it was on sale, and well, we have a shower.

The Tide was the one thing i was not ready for.

I imagine that things will get back to relative normalcy in the supermarkets later this week as people pretty much have everything they could possibly need at this point.
 
2020-03-15 2:09:35 PM  
Oh, and bananas. Couldn't find one anywhere. Made french toast this morning feel like we were living through the blitz.
 
2020-03-15 2:09:51 PM  
I told Marvin the Paranoid Android about preppers. He told me, and this stuck with me, he said "It's barely worth staying alive now"

'Stroof.
 
2020-03-15 2:09:57 PM  
For example, this shiathead:
We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns

Like I said, I'd rather be dead.
 
2020-03-15 2:11:56 PM  
So I'm as prepared for this specific episode as these preppers, because I went to the store on Wednesday as opposed to sitting on pallets of beans for decades? Cool. Cool cool cool.
 
2020-03-15 2:11:58 PM  

Captain Shaky: Plus a bunch of beer.


Yeah that is the one thing i need to do tomorrow, is go get an asston of beer before they close the liquor stores.

I mean i'm not a huge beer drinker, but having a few cases would be somehow comforting if shiat hits the fan.
 
2020-03-15 2:12:07 PM  

toraque: not enough beer: FlyingBacon: We always will have the last laugh.  Depending on the government to take care of you is going to become a shiat show.

/Hiding with my food and guns.

Oh good for you. We aren't preppers but with just a few purchases my wife and I are set for two weeks or more.

It's kinda funny.  Here in the PNW we know damn well Trump won't help us if we see an earthquake, so I have a month or more of supplies before I have to start digging into the long-term stuff.

/Not a prepper, still didn't have to run out and buy toilet paper or purell in a panic
//To be fair, the one thing I'm running low on is the one thing Trump actually delivers in disaster zones, paper towels
///Three for victory


Same here.   And I don't let it just sit there. I'll rotate and replace.   It's not just earthquakes.   A good ice or wind storm can knock out power for days.
 
2020-03-15 2:12:59 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Toilet paper and hand sanitizer will be back in stock by the end of the week.


TP, yeah probably, but I'll believe the hand sanitizer when I see it.
 
2020-03-15 2:14:45 PM  
People will adjust, supply chains will adjust. If I had a cabin in the woods I'd have been there by now, mostly because hanging at a cannon in the woods is always cool, but for now I'm ok in the burbs.

This bug isn't going to unravel society. What we're doing right now is trying to keep our at risk loved ones alive until the spread has slowed down enough such that the hospitals can handle the flow of icu patients.

If I didn't have asthma I would look forward to catching covid and self isolating for a few weeks.
 
2020-03-15 2:14:54 PM  

pjbreeze: I wonder how much a lifetime supply of toilet paper is, one roll or one million rolls?  If everyone is dead does it really matter if you wipe your ass or not?


Depends on how big the roll is.
 
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