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(Navy Times)   Lasers are a definite no-no but what about shining a flashlight attached to a garden rake at aircraft? Class-6 felony?   (navytimes.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, United States Navy, Virginia, Norfolk, Virginia, Aircraft carrier, Felony, Hampton Roads, Pleading, Arraignment  
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1885 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2020 at 12:34 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



26 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-03-05 12:05:01 PM  
So the Navy is saying that all the enemy needs to do to take out our planes is to buy a couple of flashlights and rakes?
 
2020-03-05 12:15:37 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: So the Navy is saying that all the enemy needs to do to take out our planes is to buy a couple of flashlights and rakes?


incrediblevanishingpaperweight.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

Would pitchforks and torches work?
 
2020-03-05 12:38:01 PM  
Class-6 felony?

imgs.xkcd.comView Full Size
 
2020-03-05 12:52:31 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: So the Navy is saying that all the enemy needs to do to take out our planes is to buy a couple of flashlights and rakes?


Put on NV goggles, sit outside for a while, let your eyes adjust to everything, and then have someone take a half dozen LED flashlights wrapped around a static object at a distance and hit you with them. Then tell us how long it takes your vision to return to what it was and what the chances are you would be dead because that happened while you were in a 150mph controlled fall
 
2020-03-05 1:07:39 PM  

lifeslammer: SoundOfOneHandWanking: So the Navy is saying that all the enemy needs to do to take out our planes is to buy a couple of flashlights and rakes?

Put on NV goggles, sit outside for a while, let your eyes adjust to everything, and then have someone take a half dozen LED flashlights wrapped around a static object at a distance and hit you with them. Then tell us how long it takes your vision to return to what it was and what the chances are you would be dead because that happened while you were in a 150mph controlled fall


I guess that's a yes, then?
 
2020-03-05 1:27:17 PM  
It seems to me she lived her life like a candle in the wind.
 
2020-03-05 1:28:44 PM  
Legit no snark question: how much would a flashlight attached to a rake actually be visible to and distract the pilot of a military aircraft, and how close would one have to be for it to have said effect?

It seems like theres lots of stuff of similar or greater luminal magnitude around that would cause issues with dramaticaly greater frequency, but as someone with no experience in that arena I figured I should ask, particularly as it seemed to bother pilots enough to inquire about.
 
2020-03-05 1:28:46 PM  
Why did she need the rake? Wasn't the flashlight good enough? Is it one flashlight attached to the handle or a bunch attached to the business end of the rake?
 
2020-03-05 1:31:18 PM  
Did she say something pithy as she did it? Like, "Now I'm going to light up your life!" or "Eat photons!" or did she make lightsaber noises? Article really needs more detail.
 
2020-03-05 1:35:42 PM  
Did anybody stop and think maybe this poor lady just wanted to rake leaves in the dark, jury-rigged this photonic rake contraption, and her enthusiastic nocturnal raking was misinterpreted as a ground-to-air attack?
 
2020-03-05 1:47:37 PM  
Class 6 felonies are punishable by a term of imprisonment of between 1 and 5 years. Alternatively, a judge or jury may decide to punish a Class 6 felony with confinement in jail for up to 12 months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both.

Virginia law
 
2020-03-05 2:11:03 PM  
Having an autoplay video that you cannot close, sits atop the scrollable content, and takes up a sixth of your screen should be a class 6 felony, Navy Times.
 
2020-03-05 2:26:26 PM  
Must be a helluva flashlight.
 
2020-03-05 3:05:56 PM  

zbtop: Legit no snark question: how much would a flashlight attached to a rake actually be visible to and distract the pilot of a military aircraft, and how close would one have to be for it to have said effect?

It seems like theres lots of stuff of similar or greater luminal magnitude around that would cause issues with dramaticaly greater frequency, but as someone with no experience in that arena I figured I should ask, particularly as it seemed to bother pilots enough to inquire about.


https://www.walmart.com/ip/As-Seen-on​-​TV-Atomic-Beam-Tactical-Grade-LED-Flas​hlight/54245579
 
2020-03-05 3:17:49 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Did she say something pithy as she did it? Like, "Now I'm going to light up your life!" or "Eat photons!" or did she make lightsaber noises? Article really needs more detail.


I dunno, but she had this playing on her stereo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=the7g​V​99YRI
 
2020-03-05 3:30:20 PM  
was the rake tactical?
 
2020-03-05 3:40:00 PM  

lifeslammer: zbtop: Legit no snark question: how much would a flashlight attached to a rake actually be visible to and distract the pilot of a military aircraft, and how close would one have to be for it to have said effect?

It seems like theres lots of stuff of similar or greater luminal magnitude around that would cause issues with dramaticaly greater frequency, but as someone with no experience in that arena I figured I should ask, particularly as it seemed to bother pilots enough to inquire about.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/As-Seen-on-​TV-Atomic-Beam-Tactical-Grade-LED-Flas​hlight/54245579


Fark user imageView Full Size

I... have questions.
 
2020-03-05 3:47:44 PM  
Bull spit snowflake pilots. fark 'em.
 
2020-03-05 4:02:50 PM  

lifeslammer: SoundOfOneHandWanking: So the Navy is saying that all the enemy needs to do to take out our planes is to buy a couple of flashlights and rakes?

Put on NV goggles, sit outside for a while, let your eyes adjust to everything, and then have someone take a half dozen LED flashlights wrapped around a static object at a distance and hit you with them. Then tell us how long it takes your vision to return to what it was and what the chances are you would be dead because that happened while you were in a 150mph controlled fall


From that distance.... it's not that bad.  Not at all.  This seems ridiculous.

Taliban wasn't as dumb as people make them out to be.  When they tried to attack us at night they'd just use flashlights on their guns if that actually worked.

Now if she was 5-10ft from them, yeah, might be an issue, but her back yard vs pilot?  Nah.  If that was an issue they'd have issue landing on the strips that are lining the airfield.  They have lights all along those.  Even landing in Kandahar at night the pilots had NVGs on and they kept the airstrip lights on.

When we set up ad hoc checkpoints at night we'd be wearing our NVGs and headlights coming our way wouldn't bother me at all.  When a vehicle approached we'd flip em up and turn on the spot lights.

I highly doubt this did anything but annoy 5he pilots.  Wouldn't disorient, just annoy.
 
2020-03-05 4:16:25 PM  

zbtop: Legit no snark question: how much would a flashlight attached to a rake actually be visible to and distract the pilot of a military aircraft, and how close would one have to be for it to have said effect?

It seems like theres lots of stuff of similar or greater luminal magnitude around that would cause issues with dramaticaly greater frequency, but as someone with no experience in that arena I figured I should ask, particularly as it seemed to bother pilots enough to inquire about.


Here is a video in NV with lights in the distance.

Afghan Air Force Mi-17 Operational Training
Youtube IM9cGssmlWc


It would probably be slightly annoying, but not too detrimental.  It's not like the movies where you suddenly go blind because a light was turned on.  Shiat, they'd have to not put tracer rounds in mags if bright lights were an issue.  Even muzzle flashes would be brutal.
 
2020-03-05 5:29:36 PM  

dkulprit: zbtop: Legit no snark question: how much would a flashlight attached to a rake actually be visible to and distract the pilot of a military aircraft, and how close would one have to be for it to have said effect?

It seems like theres lots of stuff of similar or greater luminal magnitude around that would cause issues with dramaticaly greater frequency, but as someone with no experience in that arena I figured I should ask, particularly as it seemed to bother pilots enough to inquire about.

Here is a video in NV with lights in the distance.

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/IM9cGssm​lWc?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]

It would probably be slightly annoying, but not too detrimental.  It's not like the movies where you suddenly go blind because a light was turned on.  Shiat, they'd have to not put tracer rounds in mags if bright lights were an issue.  Even muzzle flashes would be brutal.


I swear that's Chuck Norris in the beginning of that video.

/Chuck's chopper doesn't fly; it beats the air into submission.
 
2020-03-05 5:36:14 PM  
These goddamn planes are trying to kill the pilots every damn second. They can do it because they are trained like crazy and not allowed to do any drugs. Especially in takeoff and landing. Fractions of a second count. They crash often enough anyway without waving flashlights at them.  No one who has ever flown a plane in real life will say this is Ok.

Try doing it to cars on the highway and see how long that goes.

Wankers.
 
2020-03-05 5:39:05 PM  

Nocrash: These goddamn planes are trying to kill the pilots every damn second. They can do it because they are trained like crazy and not allowed to do any drugs. Especially in takeoff and landing. Fractions of a second count. They crash often enough anyway without waving flashlights at them.  No one who has ever flown a plane in real life will say this is Ok.

Try doing it to cars on the highway and see how long that goes.

Wankers.


In cruise they can do drugs but during takeoff and landing they must put down the bong.  I think I said  that.
 
2020-03-05 6:02:36 PM  
The take should get sent to California and be rehabilitated by taking a forest and parenting a fire.  The lady, she's just a mad scientist in training. She'll get out and mount flashlights on 20 foot pvc pipe.  May God have mercy on her soul.
 
2020-03-05 9:30:47 PM  
I've always thought that old Russian "Hit the American enemy's weak spots with a shovel" meme was sarcasm directed at their own miliraty, but apparently I was wrong.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-05 10:14:26 PM  

lifeslammer: SoundOfOneHandWanking: So the Navy is saying that all the enemy needs to do to take out our planes is to buy a couple of flashlights and rakes?

Put on NV goggles, sit outside for a while, let your eyes adjust to everything, and then have someone take a half dozen LED flashlights wrapped around a static object at a distance and hit you with them. Then tell us how long it takes your vision to return to what it was and what the chances are you would be dead because that happened while you were in a 150mph controlled fall


If the pilot is staring at some ladies backyard while flying then the Navy has other issues than a few LEDs on a rake
 
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