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(Fox5 DC)   Having solved all their other problems, the Virginia government drafts a bill to...rename almond milk. Your tax dollars hard at work, folks   (fox5dc.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Milk, House Bill, almond milk, Virginia legislature, milk imitation products, long long time, southeastern states, imitation mills  
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623 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Mar 2020 at 4:51 AM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



95 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-03-04 8:41:25 PM  
He's not wrong.
 
2020-03-04 8:45:39 PM  

cretinbob: He's not wrong.


Almond milk has been around for centuries and now is the time to forcefully rename it?

Right on the label it says "Almond", so unless you are a Trump voter than confusion should be non-existent.
 
2020-03-04 8:46:06 PM  

cman: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Almond milk has been around for centuries and now is the time to forcefully rename it?

Right on the label it says "Almond", so unless you are a Trump voter then confusion should be non-existent.


DAMN IT. Then, not Than. Fixt.
 
2020-03-04 8:54:54 PM  
You can milk anything with nipples.
Almonds look like nipples.
ergo, titso fapso,
milk does a body good.

/Got nipples?
//Almond Joys got nuts
///Mounds don't
6.7.0
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2020-03-04 9:03:56 PM  

cretinbob: He's not wrong.


Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.
 
2020-03-04 9:37:39 PM  
Nut Juice?
 
2020-03-04 10:00:54 PM  
Nut juice.
 
2020-03-04 11:32:54 PM  

TWX: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.


You going to milk that cat?

CSS.  My brother-in-law found an abandoned/lost baby squirrel and called us to figure what to feed it.   I immediately said KMR, through my husband who was on the phone with him.  The husband says "What's KMR".  So I tell him "kitten milk replacer"...husband transmits that information and then busts out laughing.  My brother-in-law actually said, "You mean I have to milk a cat?"
 
2020-03-04 11:40:27 PM  

Dewey Fidalgo: TWX: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.

You going to milk that cat?

CSS.  My brother-in-law found an abandoned/lost baby squirrel and called us to figure what to feed it.   I immediately said KMR, through my husband who was on the phone with him.  The husband says "What's KMR".  So I tell him "kitten milk replacer"...husband transmits that information and then busts out laughing.  My brother-in-law actually said, "You mean I have to milk a cat?"


CSB
 
2020-03-05 12:52:34 AM  
In other events: The Virginia legislature just sent 8 gun control bills to the governor for signature today.
 
2020-03-05 1:54:38 AM  
Is it milk?   No.  Nor is soy milk.  Calling it "Silk" is fine, but it isn't milk.  There are many other food substitutes that would love to claim they are something they aren't.  Meatless meat, sugarless sugar.  Without standard definitions, you will see a creeping procession of truth-bending labels.
 
2020-03-05 2:29:56 AM  
If passed, eight more states would need to pass similar bills in order to become law.

WAT
 
2020-03-05 3:25:58 AM  
Just rename it,
frinkiac.comView Full Size
 
2020-03-05 4:48:20 AM  

Dave and the Mission: Is it milk?   No.  Nor is soy milk.  Calling it "Silk" is fine, but it isn't milk.  There are many other food substitutes that would love to claim they are something they aren't.  Meatless meat, sugarless sugar.  Without standard definitions, you will see a creeping procession of truth-bending labels.


Okay but you need to sanity-test your slippery-slope arguments.

Some manufacturers have an interest in deceiving customers into thinking an inferior product is a superior one, and want too-loose regulations. Other manufacturers have an interest in protecting their market share from fair competition from substitutable goods, and want too-tight regulations. So you want to be careful you're not playing into the hands of the people who would call margarine "butter" (as once happened), nor into the hands of the people who would forbid margarine from using yellow food colouring lest it lose its unappealing white colour (as also happened). You want to protect consumers from predatory manufacturers, but be sure you're not protecting predatory manufacturers from consumer choice.

When you're telling people they can't call almond milk "almond milk", what is the intended effect? Surely not to avoid confusion: it's an established product, people know what it is, it's more expensive than dairy milk rather than being an inferior knockoff, and people who buy it specifically want it due to health or philosophical reasons.

Rather, the intent appears to be to limit its market appeal by giving it the less-appealing name "almond drink", implying it is not really substitutable for milk.

And that isn't an appropriate use for the law.
 
2020-03-05 4:52:54 AM  
"There's no almond titty" - Lewis Black
 
2020-03-05 4:55:45 AM  
"Imitation milks" aren't what's killing dairy milk sales, ya farking goober. Nobody is buying almond milk, getting home, and going "damnit, they fooled me again! I demand a tall glass of cow lactation!"
 
2020-03-05 5:01:45 AM  
Messick says his dairy farm and others across the country have experienced consumption slow down due to the rise in popularity of almond milk, soy milk and other milk imitation products.

And your take away from this, is that it is a result of them calling it "milk."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-05 5:03:08 AM  

Dave and the Mission: Is it milk?   No.  Nor is soy milk.  Calling it "Silk" is fine, but it isn't milk.  There are many other food substitutes that would love to claim they are something they aren't.  Meatless meat, sugarless sugar.  Without standard definitions, you will see a creeping procession of truth-bending labels.


Won't someone please think about poor Will Technically and Actual Lee? This could get em twitchier than normal.

Pretty sure people who buy almond milk know it doesn't come from a cow. The big honkin picture of an almond on the carton is a useful clue.
 
2020-03-05 5:04:21 AM  

TWX: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.


So human breast milk will be called Human Juice?
 
2020-03-05 5:05:02 AM  

Dave and the Mission: Is it milk?   No.  Nor is soy milk.  Calling it "Silk" is fine, but it isn't milk.  There are many other food substitutes that would love to claim they are something they aren't.  Meatless meat, sugarless sugar.  Without standard definitions, you will see a creeping procession of truth-bending labels.


Thanks for letting me know that you should be Farkied in imbecilic yellow.
 
2020-03-05 5:05:15 AM  

cretinbob: He's not wrong.


Say hello to your hooved mother for me.
 
2020-03-05 5:05:16 AM  
Good.  Also I demand that chocolate milk be renamed.  It's obviously not the milk of a chocolate.  The last chocolate I bought didn't have any mammary glands at all and wasn't even alive.  Strawberry milk?  Come on.
 
2020-03-05 5:05:27 AM  
Once upon a time the dairy industry had it so margarine had to be dyed pink. It was creepy looking and only those effeminate lactose intolerant types would touch it. Dairy industry is playing an old record here for a new generation.

If it is only Virginia how many national brands will repackage their product just for one state.

Capitalists hate competition and will legislate it away at every opportunity.
 
2020-03-05 5:07:36 AM  
Next up, coconut milk.
 
2020-03-05 5:10:21 AM  
But remember kids, the free market solves everything.  The government should not pick winners and losers.
 
2020-03-05 5:10:47 AM  

ILoveVista: TWX: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.

So human breast milk will be called Human Juice?



And what about cockroach milk?

/more than three times the energy density of cow milk
 
2020-03-05 5:13:17 AM  

TWX: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.


So breast milk is now breast juice? breast drink?

Unless all the women you know have hooves I guess....
 
2020-03-05 5:14:50 AM  

stoli n coke: Dave and the Mission: Is it milk?   No.  Nor is soy milk.  Calling it "Silk" is fine, but it isn't milk.  There are many other food substitutes that would love to claim they are something they aren't.  Meatless meat, sugarless sugar.  Without standard definitions, you will see a creeping procession of truth-bending labels.

Won't someone please think about poor Will Technically and Actual Lee? This could get em twitchier than normal.

Pretty sure people who buy almond milk know it doesn't come from a cow. The big honkin picture of an almond on the carton is a useful clue.


I'm pretty sure there are at least a few people who think its milk with almond in it, given that 7-10% of Americans think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
 
2020-03-05 5:19:15 AM  
I'm still pissed at labels that look something like this:


100%DV of Vitamin C
ORANGE (flavored)
JUICE
drink
(no actual oranges were harmed in making this product)
 
2020-03-05 5:21:32 AM  

i ignore u: Good.  Also I demand that chocolate milk be renamed.  It's obviously not the milk of a chocolate.  The last chocolate I bought didn't have any mammary glands at all and wasn't even alive.  Strawberry milk?  Come on.


You're not buying the right chocolate.
cf.broadsheet.ieView Full Size
 
2020-03-05 5:22:20 AM  

Steampunk Gallagher: stoli n coke: Dave and the Mission: Is it milk?   No.  Nor is soy milk.  Calling it "Silk" is fine, but it isn't milk.  There are many other food substitutes that would love to claim they are something they aren't.  Meatless meat, sugarless sugar.  Without standard definitions, you will see a creeping procession of truth-bending labels.

Won't someone please think about poor Will Technically and Actual Lee? This could get em twitchier than normal.

Pretty sure people who buy almond milk know it doesn't come from a cow. The big honkin picture of an almond on the carton is a useful clue.

I'm pretty sure there are at least a few people who think its milk with almond in it, given that 7-10% of Americans think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.


Homeschoolers. But asbestos, lead paint, and no vaccines will deal with them soon enough.
 
2020-03-05 5:26:17 AM  

My Sober Alt: I'm still pissed at labels that look something like this:


100%DV of Vitamin C
ORANGE (flavored)
JUICE
drink
(no actual oranges were harmed in making this product)


Sure, but if you take like 10 seconds to check the ingredients you'll see through that charade.  "All Natural" is the one that annoys me the most.  It's supposed to make you think it's wholesome and organic and so on, but "natural" isn't a regulated word.  So your GMO pancakes with extra GMO and a side of pesticide and cyanide thrown in for good luck are "all natural".

I explain this over and over to my aging parents, and they keep buying "all natural" things because they're "healthier".
 
2020-03-05 5:32:01 AM  

i ignore u: My Sober Alt: I'm still pissed at labels that look something like this:


100%DV of Vitamin C
ORANGE (flavored)
JUICE
drink
(no actual oranges were harmed in making this product)

Sure, but if you take like 10 seconds to check the ingredients you'll see through that charade.  "All Natural" is the one that annoys me the most.  It's supposed to make you think it's wholesome and organic and so on, but "natural" isn't a regulated word.  So your GMO pancakes with extra GMO and a side of pesticide and cyanide thrown in for good luck are "all natural".

I explain this over and over to my aging parents, and they keep buying "all natural" things because they're "healthier".


Botulinum toxin is all-natural AND organic.
 
2020-03-05 5:33:24 AM  

acouvis: TWX: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.

So breast milk is now breast juice? breast drink?

Unless all the women you know have hooves I guess....


I don't know about hooves, but your mom was definitely on all fours last night
 
2020-03-05 5:34:58 AM  
It's marketing gold if they just go with "Nut Squeezins".

/ NTTAWWT
 
2020-03-05 5:42:16 AM  

CrazyCurt: It's marketing gold if they just go with "Nut Squeezins".

/ NTTAWWT


Personally  I'd call it Almond Cream just to fark with them.
 
2020-03-05 5:43:16 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


(that's what I picture when people say "triggered")
 
2020-03-05 5:50:31 AM  
It's not milk.  It's nut-water lying about being milk.  There oughta be a law.
 
2020-03-05 5:52:59 AM  
Can we force coffee to be renamed?

Im thinking bean sweat juice
 
2020-03-05 5:56:42 AM  
CSB Time;
Io a latte at a kiosk the other day, when the guy started making it he pulled out a box of oat milk.  After asking if he had regular milk he insisted it was just as good, but I was skeptical.  Being a nice guy he said I could have it for free as long as I tried it.

It tasted strongly of oats, and very little like coffee, not to mention a completely different texture.

If you like your overpriced oat drink, fine, but please stop pretending it is anything like milk because it isn't.
 
2020-03-05 6:04:45 AM  
I have a hard time getting upset about accuracy in labeling.

Sorry alt-milk.
 
2020-03-05 6:12:19 AM  
Lewis Black on Milk
Youtube d3JK4Qx1rO8
 
2020-03-05 6:26:55 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-03-05 6:39:35 AM  

acouvis: TWX: cretinbob: He's not wrong.

Yes he is.  They restricted the definition to hooved mammals.

So breast milk is now breast juice? breast drink?

Unless all the women you know have hooves I guess....


Mammary Lactate Juice
 
2020-03-05 6:50:41 AM  

Murkanen: I have a hard time getting upset about accuracy in labeling.

Sorry alt-milk.


The problem is that this isn't making anything more accurate. It's another case of dairy farmers trying to dictate language and laws to make themselves more money.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictio​nary/milk

It's OK, the other definition has only existed for longer than America.
 
2020-03-05 6:57:18 AM  
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size



"The milk of human kindness does not come from almonds."
 
2020-03-05 6:58:45 AM  
But that there ol dairy fella done gave me a boatload of money to protect their interest!!
 
2020-03-05 7:02:46 AM  

Steampunk Gallagher: stoli n coke: Dave and the Mission: Is it milk?   No.  Nor is soy milk.  Calling it "Silk" is fine, but it isn't milk.  There are many other food substitutes that would love to claim they are something they aren't.  Meatless meat, sugarless sugar.  Without standard definitions, you will see a creeping procession of truth-bending labels.

Won't someone please think about poor Will Technically and Actual Lee? This could get em twitchier than normal.

Pretty sure people who buy almond milk know it doesn't come from a cow. The big honkin picture of an almond on the carton is a useful clue.

I'm pretty sure there are at least a few people who think its milk with almond in it, given that 7-10% of Americans think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.


Hershey's Chocolate Milk - Chocolate Cow (1983, USA)
Youtube 7nsxS3TlJNI
 
2020-03-05 7:07:34 AM  
If it's so good why call it milk? Can't it stand on it's own without stepping on the coattails of great and glorious milk?

Also, I'll bet they haven't even spoken to a single cow about this.
 
2020-03-05 7:08:59 AM  
I heard this legislator in an interview recently and he said the preposed law was in response to the high suicide rate of dairy farmers due to the significant drop in demand.

He's just trying to save lives, damn it!
 
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