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(Health.com)   Article on how to prepare for Coronavirus. 1. Everybody panic. 2. Everybody panic, 3. Everybody panic, 4. Be realistic, 5. Don't jump to conclusions, 6. Everybody panic and of course , 7. EVERYBODY PANIC   (health.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, World Health Organization, Influenza, Common cold, Infectious disease, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Health care, Health, Pandemic  
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2383 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2020 at 5:32 AM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



92 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-02-26 5:39:00 AM  
If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.
 
2020-02-26 5:39:22 AM  
Well, I  see not much has changed since I  took a week break. Who's going to be the first to link a Jehovah's Witness rag to show WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

/look
//are you getting on the cart or not?
 
2020-02-26 5:41:17 AM  
So, should we wait to kill our neighbors for food, or go ahead and put on toe tags  and beat the rush?

/stupid article is stupid
 
2020-02-26 5:43:20 AM  

SaintAnky: If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.


I hope y'all are just planners for the unlikely because my butt is off to work.

"Ain't nobody got time for that"
 
2020-02-26 5:43:21 AM  
Don't.  Panic.

Elon Musk shot his goddamn car into space with ONE MESSAGE ON THE DASH FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE.

Don't.  Panic.
 
2020-02-26 5:47:11 AM  
I'm ready.

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2020-02-26 5:48:01 AM  
Will thoughts and prayers work?
 
2020-02-26 5:49:23 AM  

Jake Havechek: Will thoughts and prayers work?


If past offerings of thoughts and prayers are any indication, of course they'll work.  Our world is a veritable Shangri-La of peace, harmony, and togetherness.
 
2020-02-26 5:55:57 AM  

SaintAnky: If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.


No worries, it snowed in Toronto this winter so I'm already stocked up on 20 years of toilet paper and powdered milk.

Not for personal use of course, it's for bartering.
 
2020-02-26 5:57:37 AM  
I'm already a recluse. My inventory improves if I visit it less.
 
2020-02-26 6:00:36 AM  
I'm not good at math. My neighbors weigh about 185 pounds, 145 pounds and 18 pounds, respectively. How much of this should I buy?

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2020-02-26 6:04:31 AM  
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2020-02-26 6:07:56 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm not good at math. My neighbors weigh about 185 pounds, 145 pounds and 18 pounds, respectively. How much of this should I buy?

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You're gonna need a bigger bottle.
 
2020-02-26 6:11:39 AM  
The good news is that, even if things generally shut down, there's still going to be a lot of food production going on in the US - all of those people in flyover country will keep making it, even if the Wuhan bug takes hold out there. Most of the big refineries will keep functioning, and truckers will have an easier time than most (they can show up, drop their cargoes, and leave without having to get too close to anyone).

The biggest reason to keep a big stock of food at home is for the short-term panic buying that will inevitably happen.
 
2020-02-26 6:12:58 AM  

AngryDragon: I'm ready.

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Don't forget cat food, as well as this :

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Pic came from Google, but it's a roughly accurate representation of my own box.
 
2020-02-26 6:13:12 AM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-02-26 6:14:08 AM  
Just remember to freeze your bread and milk because they will spoil and there is nothing worse than a spoiled milk sandwich.
 
2020-02-26 6:15:44 AM  
Pick up your clown costume from the dry cleaners.
 
2020-02-26 6:15:48 AM  

AngryDragon: I'm ready.

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Fat alcoholic murderer?
 
2020-02-26 6:19:45 AM  
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2020-02-26 6:23:06 AM  
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2020-02-26 6:23:30 AM  

lurkey: [Fark user image image 850x545]


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2020-02-26 6:23:50 AM  

SaintAnky: If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.


One thing to do is get prescription refills now, and try to keep as much of a supply as your insurer will allow.  A lot of drugs are manufactured in, or with ingredients from India and China.  Depending on how the spread progresses and how those countries respond there could be intermittent supply disruptions.  Also if it's actively spreading in your community do you really want to be standing in line with a bunch of sick people at the pharmacy?

Other than that just wash your damn hands, you filthy people!  My local Safeway was out of alcohol based hand sanitizer the other day, but Amazon still had it in stock.

Also try not to lick any door knobs.  Pressing elevator, ATM, and any other public buttons with a knuckle or the back of your wrist wouldn't be a bad idea either.
 
2020-02-26 6:25:00 AM  
Don't forget to stock up on some old fashioned porn magazines for if electricity/internet fails and you need to fap.
 
2020-02-26 6:25:53 AM  

adj_m: SaintAnky: If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.

No worries, it snowed in Toronto this winter so I'm already stocked up on 20 years of toilet paper and powdered milk.

Not for personal use of course, it's for bartering.


Fun fact you can make alcohol with toilet paper if you run out
 
2020-02-26 6:27:14 AM  
If we cant prepare for something that's "just like the flu", what the fark are we going to do when it's multidrug resistant tuberculosis?

Oh, that's right; die.

/just a matter of time
 
2020-02-26 6:28:40 AM  

bikkurikun: Don't forget to stock up on some old fashioned porn magazines for if electricity/internet fails and you need to fap.


Good idea
 
2020-02-26 6:30:01 AM  

AngryDragon: I'm ready.

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Need some fiber in there mate
 
2020-02-26 6:30:08 AM  
I live on an island. Should I blow the bridge now or is it already too late?
 
2020-02-26 6:34:31 AM  

Wobambo: I live on an island. Should I blow the bridge now or is it already too late?


I fail to see how performing oral sex on public infrastructure will improve the situation
 
2020-02-26 6:34:46 AM  
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2020-02-26 6:35:56 AM  

WDFark think for a second: AngryDragon: I'm ready.

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Need some fiber in there mate


I keep a nice garden so there's plenty on hand.
 
2020-02-26 6:37:01 AM  
I've stockpiled bullets and bourbon.  Am I missing anything?
 
2020-02-26 6:37:10 AM  
My food prepping used to consist of "I'll just eat my obese neighbors".  Never thought about them being inedible due to disease.  Time to reevaluate.
 
2020-02-26 6:37:57 AM  
i ignore u:

Also try not to lick any door knobs.

Hey, don't kink shame.
 
2020-02-26 6:38:03 AM  

lolmao500: adj_m: SaintAnky: If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.

No worries, it snowed in Toronto this winter so I'm already stocked up on 20 years of toilet paper and powdered milk.

Not for personal use of course, it's for bartering.

Fun fact you can make alcohol with toilet paper if you run out


Used or unused?

/need instructions soonish
 
2020-02-26 6:38:48 AM  

nyan9mm: AngryDragon: I'm ready.

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Don't forget cat food, as well as this :

[Fark user image image 425x425]

Pic came from Google, but it's a roughly accurate representation of my own box.


I love how Americans' Weeners to any (impending or even slightly plausible) crisis is: "I don't know what's gonna happen, but I know I'ma need to kill a whole bunch of motherfarkers."
 
2020-02-26 6:39:10 AM  

Bovine Diarrhea Virus: I've stockpiled bullets and bourbon.  Am I missing anything?


Hookers an coke.
 
2020-02-26 6:40:12 AM  

Wobambo: I live on an island. Should I blow the bridge now or is it already too late?


Lol your island has a bridge?
Amateur
 
2020-02-26 6:42:32 AM  

lolmao500: adj_m: SaintAnky: If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.

No worries, it snowed in Toronto this winter so I'm already stocked up on 20 years of toilet paper and powdered milk.

Not for personal use of course, it's for bartering.

Fun fact you can make alcohol with toilet paper if you run out


Yeah, by bartering it for more alcohol. Think I haven't already thought this out? You look ridiculous right now.

/and the powdered milk for coffee and weed.
 
2020-02-26 6:44:52 AM  

makerofbadjokes: i ignore u:

Also try not to lick any door knobs.

Hey, don't kink shame.


Well, if you absolutely must, wipe it down with alcohol based sanitizer first.  Bleach spray and Lysol probably work too, because they work on other coronaviruses, but note that that's only when used on hard, nonporous surfaces.  So be sure that the door knob is hard before you vigorously rub it and lick it.
 
2020-02-26 6:46:48 AM  
I have stopped washing my hands and now just take a shower every time I go to the bathroom.  I also do full body Purell after every handshake.

/ will burn all my paper money later today
 
2020-02-26 6:47:23 AM  

yohohogreengiant: Wobambo: I live on an island. Should I blow the bridge now or is it already too late?

Lol your island has a bridge?
Amateur


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2020-02-26 6:47:44 AM  
Anyone been dreaming of an old lady in a farm house a corn field?
 
2020-02-26 6:47:53 AM  
lolmao500:

Sorry for snapping, it really was a fun fact.
 
2020-02-26 6:50:03 AM  

FarkQued: Anyone been dreaming of an old lady in a farm house a corn field?


Nope, but I have my tickets to Las Vegas!

/ true story, leaving Monday
// calling it my Cpt. Trips convention
/// threes
 
2020-02-26 6:50:51 AM  

Dick Hammer: SaintAnky: If you're not already stocked up on supplies get on it. It might be too late soon. This isn't a zombie apocalypse or an extinction event but things could get .... unpleasant for an extended duration.

The percentage of people affected will be unnoticeable even in the worst-case-scenario, but apocalyptic conditions could come from media inciting people to panic & hoard supplies.


It's a modern take on the classic "Prisoner's Dilemma".... do I hoard now before my neighbors do?
 
2020-02-26 6:54:04 AM  

bisi: nyan9mm: AngryDragon: I'm ready.

[Fark user image image 500x500]
[Fark user image image 643x482]
[Fark user image image 591x357]

Don't forget cat food, as well as this :

[Fark user image image 425x425]

Pic came from Google, but it's a roughly accurate representation of my own box.

I love how Americans' Weeners to any (impending or even slightly plausible) crisis is: "I don't know what's gonna happen, but I know I'ma need to kill a whole bunch of motherfarkers."


A good enough shot can remove a burst appendix, or remove a bad tooth.  Why, a really good shot might just me able to shoot the coronavirus out of themselves!
 
2020-02-26 6:54:05 AM  
If we only had healthcare modeled after the Cuban system.
 
2020-02-26 6:54:39 AM  

Wobambo: yohohogreengiant: Wobambo: I live on an island. Should I blow the bridge now or is it already too late?

Lol your island has a bridge?
Amateur

[media1.giphy.com image 444x266]


You still living in Honduras?
 
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