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(NBC Washington)   Man caught trying to steal goats pretended to be drunk. Field sobriety test proved he was just an idiot   (nbcwashington.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Identity theft, Coroner, Theft, Sheriff, 19-year-old Cole Schrock, block of Leeland Road, Stafford County, deputies  
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1311 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2020 at 4:35 PM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-02-20 4:40:44 PM  
"The suspect later admitted to pretending to be intoxicated, which deputies confirmed with a breath test, the sheriff's office said."

Probably the only time in the history of ever that the cops were happy that someone passed a breathalyzer.
 
2020-02-20 4:41:13 PM  
There will be no loving tonight.
 
2020-02-20 4:41:28 PM  
he totes?
 
2020-02-20 4:42:46 PM  
Goats?

Stealing Farking Goats?

I mean stealing I understand, but Goats?

What the Fark do you do with stolen Goats?

Oh.... Stealing AND farking goats....


Oh.
 
2020-02-20 4:42:59 PM  
Aberforth sought for questioning.
 
2020-02-20 4:45:53 PM  
He should have stuck to building fences. There goes the Fencebuilder!
 
2020-02-20 4:46:14 PM  
"But you steal one goat..."
 
2020-02-20 4:46:48 PM  
That really gets my goat
 
2020-02-20 4:49:37 PM  
Do they call him McTavish the Drunkard?
 
2020-02-20 4:49:49 PM  
Could've been worse. It could've been goatse he was after.
 
2020-02-20 4:52:30 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-02-20 4:55:35 PM  
dictionary.comView Full Size
 
2020-02-20 4:57:13 PM  
Deputies found three goats tide up next to the suspect's nearby pickup truck.

They must have been really clean and smelled Spring-fresh.
 
2020-02-20 5:01:22 PM  
Deputies found three goats tide up next to the suspect's nearby pickup truck.

Presumably said right before this article was published: "Well, I don't see any spellcheck squiggly lines, so my editing job here is done!"
 
2020-02-20 5:04:02 PM  
Who wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man... I wanna steal some goats..."
 
2020-02-20 5:07:33 PM  

mattj1984: Who wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man... I wanna steal some goats..."


Goatsee ?
 
2020-02-20 5:12:29 PM  
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2020-02-20 5:12:53 PM  

cakeman: mattj1984: Who wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man... I wanna steal some goats..."

Goatsee ?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-02-20 5:25:20 PM  
Date Night???

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2020-02-20 5:30:57 PM  

mattj1984: Who wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man... I wanna steal some goats..."


"Because they're there." Sometimes it just seems like it could be fun. I'm more interested in what happened to the goats he bought before that he knew where to find these...
 
2020-02-20 5:31:01 PM  
NeverBeen too fond of goats, but I did have curried goat with some Jamaican friends recently.  It was quite good, a little bony perhaps, but quite good.  Perhaps the sober perp was preparing for an evening of international dining.
 
2020-02-20 5:58:37 PM  
What's the deal with gentiles and farm animals?
 
2020-02-20 6:20:55 PM  
There is quite a market for goat meat in SE Michigan...if its halal
 
2020-02-20 8:47:33 PM  

mattj1984: Who wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man... I wanna steal some goats..."


Depends on how hungry you are.

And now I want some curried goat.  That's some tasty stuff.
 
2020-02-20 8:48:47 PM  

NeverBeen: NeverBeen too fond of goats, but I did have curried goat with some Jamaican friends recently.  It was quite good, a little bony perhaps, but quite good.  Perhaps the sober perp was preparing for an evening of international dining.


This guy gets it lol.

Despite being in North Georgia there's a great Jamaican restaurant in Alpharetta.
 
2020-02-20 10:03:44 PM  

mattj1984: Who wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man... I wanna steal some goats..."


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2020-02-21 2:03:50 AM  
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2020-02-21 7:22:28 AM  

GalFisk: [Fark user image 425x255]


Came for this. Leaving satisfied.
 
2020-02-21 2:40:12 PM  
That was my idea when exploring abandoned buildings. See flashing lights outside? Take a swig and be sure to get a lot of it on you.

To really play it up, flatly deny having anything to drink :)
 
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