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(   Attorney General: America must cease to be a lurid statuary of deviant sex   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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7533 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2002 at 10:54 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

83 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-01-29 10:56:26 AM  
Love that pic of Asscroft!
2002-01-29 10:56:34 AM  
ashcroft! you ass monkey
2002-01-29 10:56:36 AM  
Well, damn. I guess I'm a terrosrist then.
2002-01-29 10:56:37 AM  
Dang, they take all of the good operation names.
2002-01-29 10:57:41 AM  
I knew it was only a matter of time before this guy flipped...
2002-01-29 10:58:08 AM  
By the way, it's usually nice to put on the Satire tag for those who are humour-impaired. You'd be surprised how many of them there are.
2002-01-29 10:58:27 AM  
Oh shut up Ashcroft, nobody likes you, Nazi.
2002-01-29 11:01:27 AM  
It took me a second to realize this was

Probably best to put the satire tag on this, though.

I love the pic of Ashcroft with the big sculpted wang in the background, though.
2002-01-29 11:01:55 AM  
This should have the sad tag.
American is one of the greatest nations in the world and this is what its political leaders are preoccupied with?
You all will hear even greater wisdom from the state of the union address, when they will announce funding of the national dowery fund, a fund which will try to get single welfare moms to marry the fathers of the children.
Think I'm kidding, just wait.
2002-01-29 11:02:43 AM  
if we must cease to be a lurid statuary of deviant sex, then the terrorists have already won.
2002-01-29 11:02:45 AM  
wasn't the porno site that some little kid 'stumbled' upon while researching? or was that I agree that satire should be labeled as thus...
2002-01-29 11:02:49 AM  
Hilarious. In the "tours" section:

For security reasons, personal wheelchairs are not allowed in The White House. Individuals arriving in wheelchairs must transfer to an appropriate Secret-Service approved model [pictured below] for the duration of their visit.
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-29 11:03:01 AM  
OK, I thought this was funny...
2002-01-29 11:03:44 AM  
Fun. Right up there with Landover Baptist.

Prediction: Rabid conservative screaming to begin within two hours due to the lack of a satire tag.

Let the fun begin. Wheeeeeee!
2002-01-29 11:03:52 AM  
For those of you who haven't figured this out, it's a Satire article.
2002-01-29 11:03:59 AM  
Quick1: the funniest part's true! (okay, maybe not this article)

Think what it would be like if Ashcroft was in charge of the Louver!
2002-01-29 11:04:48 AM  
Sometimes we slide a satire article in under the radar to see if anyone's paying attention
2002-01-29 11:06:06 AM  
OK, so I didnt read the article, and I'm dumb, forget about my comment, but the I stand by my national dowery fund comment.
2002-01-29 11:07:21 AM  
I stand by a big wang...(heh heh)
2002-01-29 11:10:38 AM  
Great parody of the real website.
2002-01-29 11:11:55 AM  
Asscraft, the original morally outraged sad man.
2002-01-29 11:13:07 AM  
If you have deviant sex with a statue, you deserve whatever you get.
2002-01-29 11:13:15 AM  
That is why it is with great pleasure that I am announcing the formal launch of Operation Mummified Sculptural Genitalia. Beginning today, over four hundred (400) federal agents will begin fanning out across America, where they will storm the perverted ramparts of any and all public buildings, parks, and museums which harbor objectionable "art." While most offending works will be shrouded in draperies or clad in over-sized Brooks Brothers suits, some (most notably the Statue of Liberty) will undergo extensive artistic revisions,

This is a joke, right? It's so tough to tell with the idiots that run America.
2002-01-29 11:15:19 AM  
Sometimes we slide a satire article in under the radar to see if anyone's paying attention

Nevermind. It's still rather believable.
2002-01-29 11:16:48 AM  
Whack My Bonobo for prez!
2002-01-29 11:18:08 AM  
No! It's real I tell ya! I saw it on the internet, so it must be true!

2002-01-29 11:19:09 AM  
I'm "conservative" and I liked the parody piece ... alot! Funny stuff.

Yeah. And something has to be done about that damned Statue of Liberty. I mean ... look what it's inspiring otherwise good people to do:
2002-01-29 11:20:12 AM  
... look what it's inspiring otherwise good people to do:​liberty. JPG
2002-01-29 11:22:34 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-29 11:35:16 AM  
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2002-01-29 11:36:18 AM  
BOO BOO BOO. Just cause you aren't getting any tang don't shiat on the parade for the rest of us, asshole.
2002-01-29 11:48:00 AM  
Mah sister lahks deviant sex.
2002-01-29 11:49:09 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
tee hee. I feel like I'm a 12 year-old with a new toy.

Praise Photoshop.
2002-01-29 11:50:07 AM  
he did cover up the boob of lady justice though. He was tired of being the second (and less popular) boob in the hall.
2002-01-29 11:51:14 AM  
A "visual" always overrides what someone is saying. That's why people don't switch slides until they are ready to speak about the next set of ideas. That's why kids don't hand you their report card and let you stare at the "D" before they start telling you the excuses. That's why Ashcroft, who is now an international figure, isn't willing to jeopardize what he's saying by statuary many Muslims would probably want to blow up.

My 2 cents...
2002-01-29 12:01:58 PM  
Ashcroft, the super shining hole in Bush's appointments. He's like having a Strom, Helms and Meese all wrapped up into one... 'cept we can't blame dumbass voters for it this time.
2002-01-29 12:06:34 PM  
AburKadabur, I'll second that: Praise photoshop!
2002-01-29 12:07:42 PM  
Let's try that again..

[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-29 12:17:37 PM  
The only thing funnier than that article is the farkers who really (really) want to believe it's true.

(oh yeah, and the people who remain convinced that it is actually true, despite everything).
2002-01-29 12:23:27 PM  
Um, this is just a satirical take of what fundie Ashcroft really did. Read the article farther down Fark today about him spending $8000 on curtains to cover up a statuary depiction of lady liberty because she was showing a breast. He gave a press conference in front of it; the press took pictures of him giving the conference with lady liberty's breast in the background. Instead of just shifting locations for future press conferences, he spends $8000 on a curtain to cover her up. Nice.
If you can't win an election against a dead guy, get your friends to appoint you to something to save face. That's a great way to run a country.
2002-01-29 12:32:32 PM  
WorldCitizen: Exactly!

Shuh: Read what WorldCitizen wrote.
2002-01-29 12:37:14 PM  
Dear Mr. A.G.: fark off.
2002-01-29 12:41:15 PM  
This whole site is hillarious. Check out the Department of Faith-- classic!
2002-01-29 12:45:41 PM  
I can't believe isn't taken by the Whitehouse itself......
2002-01-29 12:48:38 PM  
Re: warnings of satire

Hell no, if individuals are dumbfark stupid enough to go on the kind of righteously irrelevant, self-serving, irrational tirades so expertly parodied by this coup de grace and too dumbfark stupid not to realise this article was satire before opening their big, pointless traps to ringfence and compound their idiocy, why should anything stop us enjoying the Fark forum comment consequences? Retire the satire tag! Long live dunderheads!
2002-01-29 12:54:58 PM  
"righteously irrelevant, self-serving, irrational tirades"

"opening their big, pointless traps to ringfence and compound their idiocy"

Kind of speaks for itself...
2002-01-29 01:02:28 PM  
Can anyone smell sour grapes
2002-01-29 01:27:55 PM  
Glenlivid: Read what I wrote.
2002-01-29 01:35:17 PM  
Shuh: I thought I did? Rather than cover up a statue because of a visual to don't want people to see...just move the press conference.
2002-01-29 01:38:54 PM  
Wow, inconvenience hundreds of people (including the press corps.) for an inanimate object. Now that's intelligence.
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