Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNBC)   Great news, Johnson & Johnson's chief scientific officer "pretty confident" that they can produce a vaccine for Coronavirus. Not so great news: the Jets could be in the Superbowl by the time it's available   (cnbc.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Severe acute respiratory syndrome, Johnson's chief scientific officer, Influenza, Dow Jones Industrial Average, Johnson, Common cold, Hubei, Wuhan  
•       •       •

1781 clicks; posted to Main » and Geek » on 27 Jan 2020 at 9:45 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



67 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-01-27 9:53:51 AM  
I'm betting on the Jets to win this year's Superbowl. It's not just optimism, it's what real fans do.
 
2020-01-27 9:54:19 AM  
exploderblog.comView Full Size

I don't trust those guys.
 
2020-01-27 9:57:36 AM  
I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but the owner of the Jets is the great-grandson of Robert Wood Johnson of Johnson and Johnson.  He was graciously fired from the company and is now our ambassador to the UK which is the kind of job you get when you give the President a lot of money.

He is undercover one the league's worst owners.  He reportedly calls coaches and offers suggestions, but not even remotely smart suggestions, but suggestions like "You need to pass it more."  He also made the team sign Tebow.
 
2020-01-27 9:58:33 AM  
"Jets could be in the Super Bowl."  I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshiat, subby.
 
2020-01-27 9:58:47 AM  
Johnson is the Corona vaccine

Corona is the vaccine for my Johnson (after about 10 of 'em).

Coincidence?  I think not...
 
2020-01-27 9:59:10 AM  
You can't get Americans to get the regular flu vaccine.

What chance does this have
 
2020-01-27 10:01:06 AM  
Just build up your tolerance. You'll be fine.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-27 10:03:49 AM  
Will it be delivered through the respitory system?
Like the asbestos.
 
2020-01-27 10:03:53 AM  
"Scientific Officer"?

I didn't know the q-tip people worked on the Starship Enterprise.
 
2020-01-27 10:04:20 AM  
Sounds like he's bullshiatting. There's no vaccine for any coronavirus that I know of. Not for SARS or MERS or the common cold. If they have the ability why haven't they done so already?
 
2020-01-27 10:04:51 AM  
I want to go to a school where the football mascot is the coronavirus.
 
2020-01-27 10:06:57 AM  
What were the chances that talc is the cure?
 
2020-01-27 10:07:02 AM  
Not so great news: the Jets could be in the Superbowl by the time it's available

Ohhhhhh, ok, I understand....

Fark user imageView Full Size


How long will it take to make it now?
 
2020-01-27 10:09:36 AM  
Just
Expect
The
Sickness
 
2020-01-27 10:10:10 AM  
thethoughtexperiment.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

thethoughtexperiment.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2020-01-27 10:12:27 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: [thethoughtexperiment.files.wordpress​.​com image 693x373]
[thethoughtexperiment.files.wordpress.​com image 747x402]


"Whats that ya' say? Teeny, tiny bad things called, whaddaya call em'? Germs??"
 
2020-01-27 10:13:17 AM  

hissatsu: Sounds like he's bullshiatting. There's no vaccine for any coronavirus that I know of. Not for SARS or MERS or the common cold. If they have the ability why haven't they done so already?


Because creation of a vaccine for any virus is incredibly expensive and time consuming, and no one is going to spend the multiple billions of dollars to create a vaccine for something that wasn't killing lots of people or part of a major outbreak.  That's why it took a major outbreak of Ebola to get that research started.  Flu has a pretty good set of vaccines, but we can't get people to farking take them.

Rhinovirus (common cold) isn't something that's easy to create a vaccine for, and we know why - too many variants, and it shifts too quickly.  Coronovirus is more stable with fewer variants.  There is a company with a trial vaccine for MERS, and a few with some useful maps for creating a SARS vaccine.  But again, they're not going to invest billions for something that may not return on their investment.
 
2020-01-27 10:15:58 AM  

Rapmaster2000: He was graciously fired from the company and is now our ambassador to the UK which is the kind of job you get when you give the President a lot of money.


When he left to become the ambassador to the UK, he handed off executive duties to his brother, Christopher Johnson. Jets fans are hoping that it's a good thing, but then he turned around and hired Adam Gase, so it's not looking too great.
 
2020-01-27 10:17:37 AM  

Arkanaut: Rapmaster2000: He was graciously fired from the company and is now our ambassador to the UK which is the kind of job you get when you give the President a lot of money.

When he left to become the ambassador to the UK, he handed off executive duties to his brother, Christopher Johnson. Jets fans are hoping that it's a good thing, but then he turned around and hired Adam Gase, so it's not looking too great.


I didn't know Adam Gase was a molecular biologist!
 
2020-01-27 10:20:48 AM  
 I ran out of underarm deodorant and had to use J&J talcom powder in the arm pits this morning. I hope I don't get vagina cancer.
 
2020-01-27 10:25:04 AM  

MaelstromFL: I didn't know Adam Gase was a molecular biologist!


I hope he is, because he's a terrible football coach.
 
2020-01-27 10:25:34 AM  

McGrits: I ran out of underarm deodorant and had to use J&J talcom powder in the arm pits this morning. I hope I don't get vagina cancer.


As long as you didn't fill your vagina with the powder you should ne fine.
 
2020-01-27 10:26:53 AM  
Are we talking the Winnipeg Jets of the New York Jets? One is slightly more likely than the other.
 
2020-01-27 10:28:03 AM  
Well, at least subby didn't say The Detroit Lions, which would mean that there would never be a vaccine for it.
 
2020-01-27 10:28:05 AM  

Resident Muslim: Will it be delivered through the respitory system?
Like the asbestos.


Remember, you can't spell asbestos without BEST!
 
2020-01-27 10:28:14 AM  
I'll pass on the Johnson injections, especially two of them.
 
2020-01-27 10:34:42 AM  

Rapmaster2000: I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but the owner of the Jets is the great-grandson of Robert Wood Johnson of Johnson and Johnson.  He was graciously fired from the company ...


That was his old man. This Woody Johnson has never had a meaningful role at J&J.
 
2020-01-27 10:35:00 AM  

Ima4nic8or: McGrits: I ran out of underarm deodorant and had to use J&J talcom powder in the arm pits this morning. I hope I don't get vagina cancer.

As long as you didn't fill your vagina with the powder you should ne fine.


User name checks out?
 
2020-01-27 10:37:29 AM  
There is widespread panic by the CEO class that their serfs will call in sick.
 
2020-01-27 10:38:19 AM  

Khellendros: hissatsu: Sounds like he's bullshiatting. There's no vaccine for any coronavirus that I know of. Not for SARS or MERS or the common cold. If they have the ability why haven't they done so already?

Because creation of a vaccine for any virus is incredibly expensive and time consuming, and no one is going to spend the multiple billions of dollars to create a vaccine for something that wasn't killing lots of people or part of a major outbreak.  That's why it took a major outbreak of Ebola to get that research started.  Flu has a pretty good set of vaccines, but we can't get people to farking take them.

Rhinovirus (common cold) isn't something that's easy to create a vaccine for, and we know why - too many variants, and it shifts too quickly.  Coronovirus is more stable with fewer variants.  There is a company with a trial vaccine for MERS, and a few with some useful maps for creating a SARS vaccine.  But again, they're not going to invest billions for something that may not return on their investment.


Fark user imageView Full Size


I don't like your estimate.

Also once the government gets involved the money starts looking like chump change.
 
2020-01-27 10:48:29 AM  
Sure.  With a 500 billion dollar investment.  Upfront, please.  Results not guaranteed.

Also, at its current rate of expansion, we will all be infected by September.
 
2020-01-27 10:54:41 AM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: Sure.  With a 500 billion dollar investment.  Upfront, please.  Results not guaranteed.

Also, at its current rate of expansion, we will all be infected by September.


Yes, but most won't actually die until October, this in a different fiscal year.  Problem solved...
 
2020-01-27 10:56:28 AM  
Don't worry, it will peak around April.  So if you keep your nose clean till then, you might ride it out.
 
2020-01-27 10:59:41 AM  
Just wait until it starts mutating...
 
2020-01-27 11:00:00 AM  
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now (Official Video)
Youtube HgzGwKwLmgM
 
2020-01-27 11:02:14 AM  

OccamsWhiskers: What were the chances that talc is the cure?


Great, if you don't mind dying from asbestos cancer first.
 
2020-01-27 11:10:06 AM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-01-27 11:18:39 AM  

oldfool: [i.redd.it image 850x682]


This was my first thought.  Most Americans can't afford an emergency room visit.  They also can't afford to miss work.  This will hit the States much harder than Wuhan.
 
2020-01-27 11:21:35 AM  
The US isn't even running any containment protocols on flights from China other than screening for active symptoms.  We are so farked.
 
2020-01-27 11:23:19 AM  
IIRC, they can take blood samples from all the people who have survived and use the antibodies to create an inoculation/vaccine.  This assumes they show positive results in taking what they come up with and using it to effectively stop the virus and there's not a significant issue with mutation.
 
2020-01-27 11:24:13 AM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: oldfool: [i.redd.it image 850x682]

This was my first thought.  Most Americans can't afford an emergency room visit.  They also can't afford to miss work.  This will hit the States much harder than Wuhan.


But, it will likely be offset by the fact that many American's have neither the means, nor the resources to quickly travel.  And given our lack of public transit infrastructure, its actually pretty easy to lock down a quarantine if needed.  So yeah, there is a scenario where the downtown area of San Fran would be screwed, but most of the rest of California would likely be fine.
 
2020-01-27 11:24:53 AM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: The US isn't even running any containment protocols on flights from China other than screening for active symptoms.  We are so farked.


Is the rate of infection in China high enough that it warrants quarantines and all that?  Assuming China's being honest, 690-ish cases out of billions of people is not exactly a pandemic.
 
2020-01-27 11:31:27 AM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: oldfool: [i.redd.it image 850x682]

This was my first thought.  Most Americans can't afford an emergency room visit.  They also can't afford to miss work.  This will hit the States much harder than Wuhan.


It's not just that, but consider the nature of education in which there will be massive disruption all across the educational system and economy at large if they shut that down.  Swine Flu shut down some schools in Massachusetts for 3 days and the assessed cost in days that had to be made up, disruption to parents' productivity, etc. was enormous.

That is why the WHO is very hesitant to declare a Global Health Emergency because of the huge effort and disruption sets off and if it turns out to be more noise than signal (as Swine Flu turned out), then they get crushed for it.  Or they get crushed for not doing enough like in the case of the West Africa Ebola breakout.

/someone will find a way to use hindsight to crush people no matter the course or decision
 
2020-01-27 11:41:36 AM  
I'm going to follow my doctor's advice and take plenty of oxycontin.
 
2020-01-27 11:56:13 AM  
Assuming the price is right, that is.
 
2020-01-27 11:59:11 AM  

morg: I'm going to follow my doctor's advice and take plenty of oxycontin.


I'll be killing my viruses (virii?) the way I always do. Internal application of bourbon and martinis.
 
2020-01-27 11:59:50 AM  
Need to maximize profits.
 
2020-01-27 12:07:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-27 12:09:52 PM  

006andahalf: That is why the WHO is very hesitant to declare a Global Health Emergency because of the huge effort and disruption sets off and if it turns out to be more noise than signal (as Swine Flu turned out), then they get crushed for it.  Or they get crushed for not doing enough like in the case of the West Africa Ebola breakout.

/someone will find a way to use hindsight to crush people no matter the course or decision


What's with all this crushing?
 
2020-01-27 12:17:29 PM  
Dr. Samuel Johnson is right about Olson Johnson's being right.
 
Displayed 50 of 67 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.