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(Deadline)   Cat Ass Trophy   (deadline.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Musical theatre, movie version of Cats, 3-time Oscar winnerLes Miserables, feature adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber, Broadway theatre, movie ofCats, Tom Hooper  
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2902 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Dec 2019 at 7:35 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2019-12-22 4:51:06 PM  
All cat puns approved by Mark Twain, who would probably be catatonic during the show, fortunately,

Mark Twain did love his kitties.
 
2019-12-22 4:51:29 PM  
Appurrrved.
 
2019-12-22 5:08:13 PM  
Obvious tag has never been more appropriate.
 
2019-12-22 5:30:48 PM  
older-skewing markets like West Palm Beach, Fort Myers and Tampa are over-indexing with Cats

oh, Fark user image
 
2019-12-22 5:52:34 PM  
I saw the theatrical production for the first time in my life last month, and realized that it has about much plot as actual cats do when going about their daily activities.
 
2019-12-22 7:03:29 PM  
A golden lipstick tube?
 
2019-12-22 7:27:51 PM  
Maybe if they put enough lipstick on it...

Naido: A golden lipstick tube?


[shakes badly scratched fist]
 
2019-12-22 7:32:16 PM  
Obligatory

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2019-12-22 7:39:44 PM  
Who wins Dat Ass Trophy?
 
2019-12-22 7:40:48 PM  
The audience is certainly there.

Evidently not.
 
2019-12-22 7:42:39 PM  

markie_farkie: I saw the theatrical production for the first time in my life last month, and realized that it has about much plot as actual cats do when going about their daily activities.


Years ago, I had season tickets to various theaters, including Broadway touring companies.  Cats remains to this day, the only musical I walked out on.  It was absolutely boring, and the troupe wasn't using body mikes, but relying on intimate seating and vocal projection.  Unfortunately, the auditorium seated well over a thousand and the acoustics weren't helped by the musicians drowning out the lyrics.
 
2019-12-22 7:48:08 PM  
Opening the same week as Star Wars probably didn't help.
 
2019-12-22 7:52:42 PM  

markie_farkie: I saw the theatrical production for the first time in my life last month, and realized that it has about much plot as actual cats do when going about their daily activities.


The play is based on a collection of TS Elliot poems that Elliot wrote for his kids, and none of the poems have anything to do with one another. This play is basically an excuse for random skits strung together by excessive musical numbers. You could get away with that with a play, judging by the play's staggering success, but as a movie...apparently not.
 
2019-12-22 7:55:10 PM  

fusillade762: Opening the same week as Star Wars probably didn't help.


They weren't after the same audience. Cats was scheduled as counterprogramming by design - they just utterly failed at it.
 
2019-12-22 7:57:37 PM  
Due to my oft-mentioned hatred of the stage show, I noped the hell away from the film version the instant I got wind of it, never mind the visuals.
 
2019-12-22 8:00:34 PM  
Maybe they should have done a movie based on Wicked instead.
 
2019-12-22 8:01:20 PM  
<---- Free Cat Movie
 
2019-12-22 8:07:42 PM  
I saw Cats live at the Wintergarden in Broadway, and I really enjoyed it. It's just a lot of fun. So I'm saying this as someone who likes Cats: this movie looks like a bucket full of hot diarrhea.
 
2019-12-22 8:10:03 PM  
It's worse with drugs.

It's actually *worse* with drugs.
 
2019-12-22 8:14:31 PM  
And Nothing Of Value Was Lost
Youtube IVXJmfd3cmg
 
2019-12-22 8:16:19 PM  

fusillade762: Who wins Dat Ass Trophy?


Julie Newmar

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2019-12-22 8:31:40 PM  

invictus2: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/IVXJmfd3​cmg]


Damn it I came here just to post this.
 
2019-12-22 8:32:12 PM  
I saw Cats on Broadway.  I was amazingly underwhelmed by its entire production.  I'm not surprised it bombed at the box office.
 
2019-12-22 8:44:30 PM  
I'm sure the new, finished effects version will bring people into the theaters. Once they no longer have to see Judy Dench's hand, complete with wedding ring, they will fully buy into the illusion.
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2019-12-22 8:46:45 PM  
Feline Taylor Swift looks like Norm MacDonald in drag.
 
2019-12-22 8:47:51 PM  
I was excited for this project when I read it was to be directed by Tobe Hooper.  Of course I soon remembered he died a few years ago and saw Tom Hooper instead directing.  Perhaps they should still have used Tobe Hooper regardless.
 
2019-12-22 8:48:02 PM  
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2019-12-22 8:51:18 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: fusillade762: Opening the same week as Star Wars probably didn't help.

They weren't after the same audience. Cats was scheduled as counterprogramming by design - they just utterly failed at it.


Two different expectations.  One movie is something that nearly everyone wants to see, while Cats is a movie nearly no one wants to see.
 
2019-12-22 8:55:58 PM  
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2019-12-22 8:58:02 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2019-12-22 9:09:05 PM  

basicstock: Maybe they should have done a movie based on Wicked instead.


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2019-12-22 9:13:37 PM  
"The Lloyd Webber musical has grossed close to $4 billion worldwide and is the fourth-longest running Broadway musical of all-time."

Be that as it may, the vast, vastmajority of moviegoers don't know or care about the musical or Broadway in general. It has to compete on its own merits. Now consider some other, more successful film adaptations of musicals. Mamma Mia has some people in it. They look pretty normal. There are lots of stories about mothers. Maybe it's an adaptation of Beowulf or something. (Full disclosure: I did not see Mamma Mia.) Anyway it's not off-putting. Les Miserables is a bunch of people in old timey clothing. Probably a historical drama or something, well and good.

Cats is a bunch of furries, basically. Furries barely existed when the musical was at its peak on Broadway, so it didn't matter. If furries had been a thing, it never would've been made, because there would be no way to avoid the association. Cats is already a recognized property in the theater world, so the play can get away with it. People who care at all about theater are a small minority, so it will never be able to succeed in any other medium. Because of furries.
 
2019-12-22 9:18:24 PM  

malaktaus: "The Lloyd Webber musical has grossed close to $4 billion worldwide and is the fourth-longest running Broadway musical of all-time."

Be that as it may, the vast, vastmajority of moviegoers don't know or care about the musical or Broadway in general. It has to compete on its own merits. Now consider some other, more successful film adaptations of musicals. Mamma Mia has some people in it. They look pretty normal. There are lots of stories about mothers. Maybe it's an adaptation of Beowulf or something. (Full disclosure: I did not see Mamma Mia.) Anyway it's not off-putting. Les Miserables is a bunch of people in old timey clothing. Probably a historical drama or something, well and good.

Cats is a bunch of furries, basically. Furries barely existed when the musical was at its peak on Broadway, so it didn't matter. If furries had been a thing, it never would've been made, because there would be no way to avoid the association. Cats is already a recognized property in the theater world, so the play can get away with it. People who care at all about theater are a small minority, so it will never be able to succeed in any other medium. Because furries turned me into a newt.


Mamma Mia Spoof French & Saunders. Full!!!
Youtube 1inN936HpJc
 
2019-12-22 9:19:48 PM  
Cats just looks weird. I was fine with the musical, but the trailers left nothing to be enthusiastic about. The stage musical had a very distinct look, with heavily-furred costumes evoking the look of cats, as well as a set that was reminiscent of an alley or junkyard where the cats gathered. However, that costume would have obscured the faces of all the A-list actors and actresses. This pushed the costuming between two extremes. They wanted the actors to look cat-like, but with recognizable faces. That is what resulted in the uncanny valley monstrosities. The other issue involves scale. Just watching the trailers, it jumps back and forth from the cats looking large to looking cat-sized. You know what I mean. Sometimes, they occupy the full-frame and you feel like they are big, akin to how things worked with the set of the stage show. However, other times the cats look tiny. The effect is just jarring.
 
2019-12-22 9:20:18 PM  

malaktaus: "The Lloyd Webber musical has grossed close to $4 billion worldwide and is the fourth-longest running Broadway musical of all-time."

Be that as it may, the vast, vastmajority of moviegoers don't know or care about the musical or Broadway in general. It has to compete on its own merits. Now consider some other, more successful film adaptations of musicals. Mamma Mia has some people in it. They look pretty normal. There are lots of stories about mothers. Maybe it's an adaptation of Beowulf or something. (Full disclosure: I did not see Mamma Mia.) Anyway it's not off-putting. Les Miserables is a bunch of people in old timey clothing. Probably a historical drama or something, well and good.

Cats is a bunch of furries, basically. Furries barely existed when the musical was at its peak on Broadway, so it didn't matter. If furries had been a thing, it never would've been made, because there would be no way to avoid the association. Cats is already a recognized property in the theater world, so the play can get away with it. People who care at all about theater are a small minority, so it will never be able to succeed in any other medium. Because of furries.


The only reason I'm even aware of Cats is an old SNL sketch.

"I'll see it again and again..."
 
2019-12-22 9:22:05 PM  

malaktaus: "The Lloyd Webber musical has grossed close to $4 billion worldwide and is the fourth-longest running Broadway musical of all-time."

Be that as it may, the vast, vastmajority of moviegoers don't know or care about the musical or Broadway in general. It has to compete on its own merits. Now consider some other, more successful film adaptations of musicals. Mamma Mia has some people in it. They look pretty normal. There are lots of stories about mothers. Maybe it's an adaptation of Beowulf or something. (Full disclosure: I did not see Mamma Mia.) Anyway it's not off-putting. Les Miserables is a bunch of people in old timey clothing. Probably a historical drama or something, well and good.

Cats is a bunch of furries, basically. Furries barely existed when the musical was at its peak on Broadway, so it didn't matter. If furries had been a thing, it never would've been made, because there would be no way to avoid the association. Cats is already a recognized property in the theater world, so the play can get away with it. People who care at all about theater are a small minority, so it will never be able to succeed in any other medium. Because of furries.


The furries I know want nothing to do with that dumpster fire of a movie.
 
2019-12-22 9:22:10 PM  
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2019-12-22 9:26:51 PM  
Ya'know. I read some of that article And I skimmed some of this thread. Then I thought to myself why am I wasting time when I could just run a google image search of Francesca Hayward again.

Fark user imageView Full Size

God is good.
 
2019-12-22 9:27:52 PM  

Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: I was excited for this project when I read it was to be directed by Tobe Hooper.  Of course I soon remembered he died a few years ago and saw Tom Hooper instead directing.  Perhaps they should still have used Tobe Hooper regardless.


Regardless of who directed it, Leatherface definitely should have been added as a character.
 
2019-12-22 9:32:35 PM  
And here's another for anyone else who loves beautiful, talented, classy women.

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2019-12-22 9:44:45 PM  
And since I doubt fark will have many more Cats threads.
And since I realized for all the times I'd google image searched her, I'd never Bing image searched her.
And because good things, like slashies used to, come in threes.

Here is what she looks like working out with little to no make up.
Fark user imageView Full Size

I mean Jesus farking christ!
 
2019-12-22 9:50:57 PM  

fusillade762: malaktaus: "The Lloyd Webber musical has grossed close to $4 billion worldwide and is the fourth-longest running Broadway musical of all-time."

Be that as it may, the vast, vastmajority of moviegoers don't know or care about the musical or Broadway in general. It has to compete on its own merits. Now consider some other, more successful film adaptations of musicals. Mamma Mia has some people in it. They look pretty normal. There are lots of stories about mothers. Maybe it's an adaptation of Beowulf or something. (Full disclosure: I did not see Mamma Mia.) Anyway it's not off-putting. Les Miserables is a bunch of people in old timey clothing. Probably a historical drama or something, well and good.

Cats is a bunch of furries, basically. Furries barely existed when the musical was at its peak on Broadway, so it didn't matter. If furries had been a thing, it never would've been made, because there would be no way to avoid the association. Cats is already a recognized property in the theater world, so the play can get away with it. People who care at all about theater are a small minority, so it will never be able to succeed in any other medium. Because of furries.

The only reason I'm even aware of Cats is an old SNL sketch.

"I'll see it again and again..."


Fark user imageView Full Size


Indeed.
You wouldn't believe the mileage I've gotten out of this pic over the past couple of weeks.
It too, is much better than "Cats," and I've used it again and again.
 
2019-12-22 9:56:32 PM  

Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: I was excited for this project when I read it was to be directed by Tobe Hooper.  Of course I soon remembered he died a few years ago and saw Tom Hooper instead directing.  Perhaps they should still have used Tobe Hooper regardless.


This is only the 2nd worst movie travesty that involves Tom Hooper.  Keep in mind that he won Best Director for King's speech.  Over Fincher for Social Network
 
2019-12-22 9:57:05 PM  

little red bot: And since I doubt fark will have many more Cats threads.
And since I realized for all the times I'd google image searched her, I'd never Bing image searched her.
And because good things, like slashies used to, come in threes.

Here is what she looks like working out with little to no make up.
[Fark user image 499x333]
I mean Jesus farking christ!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-12-22 9:57:07 PM  

little red bot: And since I doubt fark will have many more Cats threads.
And since I realized for all the times I'd google image searched her, I'd never Bing image searched her.
And because good things, like slashies used to, come in threes.

Here is what she looks like working out with little to no make up.
[Fark user image 499x333]
I mean Jesus farking christ!


Hopefully being in this highly polished cat turd will not harm her future prospects. She is incredibly talented (and dedicated) and deserves better.
 
2019-12-22 9:59:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-12-22 10:02:34 PM  

basicstock: Maybe they should have done a movie based on Wicked instead.


I have zero interest in musical theater. That said- I read the book. And all of the ones following it.
They were quite good, imho.
If they made a film or a miniseries based on the book, it would actually be quite good. Sadly, if they make one, I am almost positive they will ruin it by adding musical numbers.
 
2019-12-22 10:06:30 PM  
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2019-12-22 10:16:21 PM  
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2019-12-22 10:31:31 PM  

alienated: basicstock: Maybe they should have done a movie based on Wicked instead.

I have zero interest in musical theater. That said- I read the book. And all of the ones following it.
They were quite good, imho.
If they made a film or a miniseries based on the book, it would actually be quite good. Sadly, if they make one, I am almost positive they will ruin it by adding musical numbers.


If they did that, they would pull out all the deeply philosophical and ethical questions raised in the book, force some dumb assed loves story into it, and give it a happy ending.

Want to know how I know that?

Because that is exactly what they did with the stage musical.
 
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