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(YouTube)   It is time for subby's most cherished, beloved personal holiday tradition: A full and complete transcript of Ralphie's old man swearing at the furnace in "A Christmas Story"   (youtube.com) divider line
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747 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Entertainment » on 18 Dec 2019 at 11:50 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2019-12-18 4:48:07 AM  
It's time for my most beloved personal holiday tradition: An accurate transcript of Ralphie's old man's cursing at his furnace from "A Christmas Story":

=================

Ralphie's old man: "Hold it! Shhhh..."

(smoke pours from a vent as clanking noises come from the basement)

"Aha! AHA! It's a clinkerrrr! That blasted stupid furnace! Dadgummit!"

(Stomps downstairs; loud crash)

Ralphie's old man: "Ow! Damn skates! A HACK HACK COUGH COUGH! Oh, for cripes' sake -- open up the damper, will ya? Who the hell turned it all the way down? Again?!! Aw, blast it! Poop flirt rattletrap camel flirt! YOU BLONKER! Rattle feet sturcklefrat!"

(additional crashing noises)

Ralphie's old man: "Of a womp sack butt ratter bottom fodder!"

Narrator: "In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

Ralph's old man: "Smick melly womp walker! Drop dumb fratten house snickle fifer!"

===================

You're welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjNqLOorulI
 
UberDave [OhFark]
2019-12-18 9:07:35 AM  
No "wart mundane noodle"?

/Second furnace battle, leg-break scene.
 
Uzzah
2019-12-18 11:51:49 AM  
Naddafinga!
 
pounddawg
2019-12-18 11:55:06 AM  
poppasays!
 
oldfarthenry [TotalFark]
2019-12-18 12:03:09 PM  
Slab Bulkhead
Bridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Hold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Crunch Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Junkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Rip Slagcheek
Punch Sideiron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Beef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchmeat
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef
 
BassmanBP
2019-12-18 12:03:15 PM  
Reads like the letter to Pelosi.
 
Wellon Dowd
2019-12-18 12:13:47 PM  

BassmanBP: Reads like the letter to Pelosi.


Not enough Random capitalization.
 
ProcrastinationStation [TotalFark]
2019-12-18 12:44:08 PM  

Sensei Can You See: It's time for my most beloved personal holiday tradition: An accurate transcript of Ralphie's old man's cursing at his furnace from "A Christmas Story":

=================

Ralphie's old man: "Hold it! Shhhh..."

(smoke pours from a vent as clanking noises come from the basement)

"Aha! AHA! It's a clinkerrrr! That blasted stupid furnace! Dadgummit!"

(Stomps downstairs; loud crash)

Ralphie's old man: "Ow! Damn skates! A HACK HACK COUGH COUGH! Oh, for cripes' sake -- open up the damper, will ya? Who the hell turned it all the way down? Again?!! Aw, blast it! Poop flirt rattletrap camel flirt! YOU BLONKER! Rattle feet sturcklefrat!"

(additional crashing noises)

Ralphie's old man: "Of a womp sack butt ratter bottom fodder!"

Narrator: "In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

Ralph's old man: "Smick melly womp walker! Drop dumb fratten house snickle fifer!"

===================

You're welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjNqLOorulI


At some point he shouts what my sisters and I swear is "DAG NABBIT BLAB", which has become a classic in my family.
 
il Dottore
2019-12-18 1:36:54 PM  

oldfarthenry: Slab Bulkhead
Bridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Hold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Crunch Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Junkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Rip Slagcheek
Punch Sideiron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Beef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchmeat
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef


This is going to be the guest list I give to the bouncers at the doors of my gigs for now on.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2019-12-18 2:13:11 PM  

il Dottore: oldfarthenry: Slab Bulkhead
Bridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Hold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Crunch Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Junkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Rip Slagcheek
Punch Sideiron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Beef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchmeat
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef

This is going to be the guest list I give to the bouncers at the doors of my gigs for now on.


I've been working with a Wordpress site manager lately, and it autogenerates the goofiest password for staging sites. It's always a random adjective and noun linked together:

pleasant-telephone
epic-table
loud-vitamins
illogical-mark
courteous-traffic

I haven't seen correct-horse-battery-staple yet.
 
dittybopper
2019-12-18 2:40:42 PM  
Yeah, well, I wouldn't mess with Ralphie's dad.  He shoots old ladies with crossbows:

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
I'm on the Brute Squad
2019-12-18 5:12:33 PM  

Sensei Can You See: il Dottore: oldfarthenry: Slab Bulkhead
Bridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Hold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Crunch Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Junkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Rip Slagcheek
Punch Sideiron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Beef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchmeat
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef

This is going to be the guest list I give to the bouncers at the doors of my gigs for now on.

I've been working with a Wordpress site manager lately, and it autogenerates the goofiest password for staging sites. It's always a random adjective and noun linked together:

pleasant-telephone
epic-table
loud-vitamins
illogical-mark
courteous-traffic

I haven't seen correct-horse-battery-staple yet.


Those sound like Beck lyrics.
 
Dear Jerk
2019-12-18 8:31:10 PM  
I got a big laugh out of "mundane."
 
johnnygew
2019-12-19 10:34:33 AM  

Sensei Can You See: It's time for my most beloved personal holiday tradition: An accurate transcript of Ralphie's old man's cursing at his furnace from "A Christmas Story":

=================

Ralphie's old man: "Hold it! Shhhh..."

(smoke pours from a vent as clanking noises come from the basement)

"Aha! AHA! It's a clinkerrrr! That blasted stupid furnace! Dadgummit!"

(Stomps downstairs; loud crash)

Ralphie's old man: "Ow! Damn skates! A HACK HACK COUGH COUGH! Oh, for cripes' sake -- open up the damper, will ya? Who the hell turned it all the way down? Again?!! Aw, blast it! Poop flirt rattletrap camel flirt! YOU BLONKER! Rattle feet sturcklefrat!"

(additional crashing noises)

Ralphie's old man: "Of a womp sack butt ratter bottom fodder!"

Narrator: "In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

Ralph's old man: "Smick melly womp walker! Drop dumb fratten house snickle fifer!"

===================

You're welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjNqLOorulI


When in the heat of loud discussions with Mrs Gew, and it became obvious that we were getting nowhere except louder, one of us would always call each other house stickle fifer (that's how we heard it), or Bupmpass.
Fark user imageView Full Size

/Usually cut the tension enough to come back to civil conversation.
//And making up making out
 
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