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(NYPost)   Teen suing NYC for $5 million because the school Snapple machine he shook fell on him   ( nypost.com) divider line
    More: Asinine  
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14720 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2004 at 11:36 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

222 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-07-30 10:08:12 AM  
isn't there a little sticker on it that says "hey, kid.. don't do this: <insert picure of a stick figure shaking a vending machine>"?
2004-07-30 10:15:34 AM  
If that guy is winning is $5 mil. suit, I'm gonna be shaking a lot of vending machines!
2004-07-30 10:19:27 AM  
People will sue for anything these days.

"I vandalized your machine, but it fell on me!"
"I robbed your house but you shot me!"
"I tried drinking steaming hot coffee and spilled it on me while driving!"

Anyone who brings asinine lawsuits like that into court should be shot. Either that or face several thousand hours learning common sense that apparently they forgot to pick up at the door on the way in.
2004-07-30 10:19:29 AM  
Salcedo's mother, Diana Tineo, acknowledged that her son had sued before. He received $30,000 to settle a 1999 case in which he suffered facial cuts after he fell through a broken school fence.
Well I can only admire him, because at this rate he'll never need to work for his entire life.
2004-07-30 10:23:52 AM  
Anyone who brings asinine lawsuits like that into court should be shot. Either that or face several thousand hours learning common sense that apparently they forgot to pick up at the door on the way in.

Well if nobody won those silly lawsuits, nobody would try. Problem is, they sometimes win...
2004-07-30 10:28:43 AM  
"It ate my dollar, so I shook it very gently," he said.
Seriously, what jury in the world would buy this?
2004-07-30 10:30:12 AM  

I know. It sucks that people can actually get away with that type of thing.
2004-07-30 10:32:31 AM  
Seriously, what jury in the world would buy this?

A jury that is sick of having dollars eaten by vending machines?

/doesn't buy it
2004-07-30 10:41:06 AM  
Hmm. I have an idea, then. Rock-'em-Sock-'em Vending Machines! If your dollar is eaten by the Coke machine, you can put $1.50 into the nearest candy machine and it'll beat the tar out of the Coke machine for 10 minutes.
2004-07-30 10:44:16 AM  
Forget the jury buying this. What judge would ever let this case even get to a jury?
2004-07-30 10:56:20 AM  
[What judge would ever let this case even get to a jury?]

Nobody ever thought the McDonalds coffee cup case would get to a jury. Ditto the tobacco lawsuits. You just have to shop around until you find a sympathetic judge. it's not like there's any penalty for trying and failing after all.
2004-07-30 11:26:11 AM  
Pretty much all vending machines these days are bolted to the wall at the top of the machine, to prevent asshats like him from trying to kill themselves.
2004-07-30 11:38:21 AM  
Personal responibility dies, slow and painfully..
2004-07-30 11:39:06 AM  
Coming next year: students sue city over removal of Snapple vending machines.
2004-07-30 11:39:42 AM  
kid must have had great reflexes.

here's an excuse to take the junk food vendors out of our schools!
2004-07-30 11:39:54 AM  
"Do not tip or rock this vending machine. Doing so will cause serious injury or death"

- Those stickers were the shiat, with the stick figure dude rocking the machine
2004-07-30 11:40:44 AM  
Thankfully you didn't triple dog dare me. Not sure Walmart would be so understanding a second time.
2004-07-30 11:41:40 AM  
There was this one time at school when I hit my head against a wall really hard and it hurt a lot so Im going to sue the school for having a wall there.
2004-07-30 11:41:43 AM  
Thos machines just don't fall over from being rocked "gently".
2004-07-30 11:41:58 AM  
OH SNAP ! -ple.
[image from artpad.org too old to be available]
2004-07-30 11:42:04 AM  
[image from home.att.net too old to be available]

best i could find. :(
2004-07-30 11:42:37 AM  
Welcome to America. Where stupidity is rewarded with valuable prizes.
2004-07-30 11:43:56 AM  
Actually, the McDonald's lap spilling incident was legitimate. The coffee was so hot that the woman actually had to get a skin graft on her thighs. Apparently that particular McDonald's was keeping the coffee at ridiculous temperatures (the actual figures escape me), and they had been warned repeatedly before about the possible hazard.

/so are you all going to america to become lawyers?
//no, we're going to trip on sidewalks!
2004-07-30 11:44:20 AM  
Guess he didn't read the sign:
[image from cs.utexas.edu too old to be available]
2004-07-30 11:44:26 AM  
darwin he raised a valid point that instead of adressing you attack bush, good job dude.

no seriously though he should sue for 100 million and hire edwards to represent him
2004-07-30 11:44:37 AM  
Future news: Snapple machine sues student for sexual harassment.
2004-07-30 11:45:01 AM  
stevearooni Seriously, what jury in the world would buy this?

A Bronx jury. Defense attorneys in New York do everything possible to keep a civil case seeking damages from a Bronx jury. They love to give ridiculously high verdicts for crazy shiate.
2004-07-30 11:45:03 AM  
at best all he deserves is his medical bills paid, and even that is iffy. personal reponsibility has died. and it looks like he is a professional lawsuit filer already. can't wait for him to slip on the sidewalk next
2004-07-30 11:45:17 AM  
It's possible that there may have been something wrong with the machine. Maybe it was leaning forward or something. But considering that he's sued before, it's probably not the case.

And, of course, someone has to bring up the McDonald's coffee case. The lady just asked for medical expenses, but the evidence in the case showed that McDonald's was grossly negligent because their coffee was hot enough to initiate fusion, so the jury awarded her punitive damages, which was greatly reduced to about what she asked for on appeal.
2004-07-30 11:45:25 AM  
it's not like there's any penalty for trying and failing after all.

Defendants can win their legal fees if the suit is deemed frivolous. The problem is, a dismal minority of the millions of civil cases admitted into state supreme/superior courts every year are ever deemed frivolous. The judges encourage as much litigation as possible so they can get kickbacks from connected attorneys.
2004-07-30 11:46:24 AM  
It's a shame he didn't make into the Darwin awards.....but give him time...give him time.
2004-07-30 11:46:26 AM  
"It ate my dollar, so I shook it very gently," he said. "It must have been top-heavy, because it fell right down on me."

Yes dear, we believe you...
2004-07-30 11:46:27 AM  
I think that if the kid wins the lawsuit for all $5M (which, btw, I hope he doesn't), he should ask for payment in the form of a 1/120th share of the West Side Stadium.

/Anyone else from New York? If not you probably don't get that.
//If you do, you'll know how farktarded it is that people want to build a $600M stadium with tax money.
2004-07-30 11:46:44 AM  
It seems the victimization/entitlement idea has reached this one young. In 5 years Rev. Al Sharpton will present him as a victim of racism after he points a gun at a white cop and gets his face blown off, just wait and see.
2004-07-30 11:47:21 AM  
damn shame it didn't kill the worthless little bastard.
2004-07-30 11:47:34 AM  
Oh yeah, this never would have happened if the kid was drinking Slurm instead.
2004-07-30 11:47:44 AM  
I have always thought that there should be a three strike and your out law for lawyers, bring 3 worthless cases before a judge in a 10 year period and loose you law licenses.
2004-07-30 11:47:47 AM  

Excellent pic. The best part is the way the artist decided to have the stick figure guy desparately trying to hold the machine up in one arm and one foot and keep himself off the ground with the other arm. There's a man/woman who believes anything worth doing is worth doing right.
2004-07-30 11:48:02 AM  
Mom and son have different names. Looks like Albert's slut whore of a mother couldn't get any money out of the baby daddy so she expects society to pay.

Stop the poor from overbreeding!
2004-07-30 11:48:11 AM  
I remember a website that some Canadians made after their son killed himself trying to steal product from a Coke machine at his university (wish I could remember the URL), basically blaming everyone but the kid himself (school officials should have taken precautions, friends should have stopped him, Jesus should have intervened - you name it, they'll claim it was a contributing factor).

Don't get me wrong, I can't even fathom the pain of losing a child, especially to something so stupid, but holy hell, the ignorance is enough to drive you to drink.

Anyone for a Coke?
2004-07-30 11:48:24 AM  

Well if nobody won those silly lawsuits, nobody would try. Problem is, they sometimes win...

Sorry but most suits that are for less than the cost of defending are settled. i.e. "nuisance suits" - everybody from Jacko to Microsoft gets hits with them.
2004-07-30 11:49:33 AM  
This little punk isn't only stupid, but greedy. He should be happy with the $30,000 he already got (probably from being an idiot then as well). I don't know about the rest of you, but I give vending machines more than some "gentle" shaking when they take my money. I usually opt for some gentle shoulder smashes and soft, well directed kicks instead. Amazingly though, I still manage to leave the scene without breaking my shiat (usually just before the cops arrive).

Anyone with 5 million extra dollars to spare can feel free to push a vending machine on me. I'll even say I shook it. But only gently, of course.
2004-07-30 11:50:13 AM  
Holy Diver
I especially like the lightning bolts of pain.
2004-07-30 11:50:14 AM  
Oh yeah, this never would have happened if the kid was drinking Slurm instead.

Excellent reference.

Ewww! *SPIT* ... *sip*... FRY!

Repeat, ad nauseum.
2004-07-30 11:50:23 AM  
re: trial lawyers and politics. read something yesterday which pointed out that a lot of the republican big wigs were also trial lawyers. methinks, if the dems got their act together, they would easily be able to counterattack all these "edwards is a slimy trial lawyer" insinuations with the ever popular "i'm rubber, you're glue" defense.

as for this idiot, there's no way a vending machine is going to fall on you, unless you're seriously shaking it. you've got to be rocking the thing several inches off the ground before it'll pass the center of mass and squash you.

/dork engineer thinking about actually calculating how far it would have to be tilted before calamity ensues...
2004-07-30 11:50:39 AM  
Well if the machine was not on a proper level surface and it did not have any of those "hey dumbass, don't..." stickers, then maybe the city should pay for just his medical bills. But since I doubt that is the case; as a good buddy of mine worked in vending for many years and has seen all sorts of asshattery (incl. people killed). He would have people kick and shake a machine right in front of him when he was coming to service the machines. It's dumbasses like this kid that wreck a 2k+ machine over a buck or two.

/Everybody knows you rock it from the side anyway
2004-07-30 11:50:59 AM  
if that machine had the sticker on it (like every single machine i've ever seen), then this case should not only be tossed, but it should be deemed frivilous and the kid should have to pay all court and attorney fees.
2004-07-30 11:51:21 AM  
I loved it before that little flap was invented to prevent you from stealing. Before then, it was hard times for vending machine operators. It was like, "Hey, what are you getting out of the machine", and you'd be like "a twix, and one of everything on the bottom row!"
2004-07-30 11:51:50 AM  
Uh.. here's what I want explained. "But the practical result of the ruling is moot since the mayor controls four of the six members on the review committee."

The mayor controls members on the review committee?? Is he blackmailing them? Are they stapled to fishing line? What's the deal there?
2004-07-30 11:51:58 AM  
Ah, I think that site's gone now, here's a good synopsis:

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