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(Marketwatch)   Millennials turn to Twitter to discuss their plans for retirement. It goes about as well as you think it does   (marketwatch.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Retirement, much of a retirement, first time millennials' retirements, Pension, Ageing, credit card, Gerontology, Old age  
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4569 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2019 at 11:22 PM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2019-09-17 10:08:28 PM  
I'm a Millennial. I've got about $250k in the market and I'm in my mid-30's. Maybe another $200k in miscellaneous assets.

Only debt is my car. I'm paying a mortgage, but I've got close to $80k in available equity.

I'll retire a millionaire easy.

Kids are for suckers.
 
2019-09-17 10:49:11 PM  
A six paragraph summary article with four actual Tweets as support.

This is what failure looks like when you've actually achieved failure, turned it over, scraped the bottom, burned those remnants, and smeared the ashes on a page.
 
2019-09-17 10:52:56 PM  

Pocket Ninja: A six paragraph summary article with four actual Tweets as support.

This is what failure looks like when you've actually achieved failure, turned it over, scraped the bottom, burned those remnants, and smeared the ashes on a page.


Maybe the author was a Millennial trying to retire by outsourcing his writing career to struggling Gen-Z'ers doing gig work on Fiverr.
 
2019-09-17 11:27:36 PM  
When I get old; I plan on robbing a bank and going to prison so you suckers have to pay for all of my old man medical expenses.

/ the previous post was not serious in nature
 
2019-09-17 11:29:06 PM  
This is only news to millennials. Gen-Xers like myself have known this since Saint Ronnie's ass was polishing the chair in the Oval Office.

FUTURAMA | Season 3, Episode 12: Retirement Plan | SYFY
Youtube TxVKaG-bNlc
 
2019-09-17 11:29:18 PM  
Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?
 
2019-09-17 11:31:10 PM  

Sid_6.7: I'm a Millennial. I've got about $250k in the market and I'm in my mid-30's. Maybe another $200k in miscellaneous assets.

Only debt is my car. I'm paying a mortgage, but I've got close to $80k in available equity.

I'll retire a millionaire easy.

Kids are for suckers.


LOL.  I'm sure we're all very proud of you.

You sound like me about 15 years ago.
Watch out.  Life can find little ways to bite you in the ass.  :-)
 
2019-09-17 11:31:29 PM  
How come few people talk about moving to a cheaper country?
I know at least one guy who moved to Thailand.
I recall doing the math some time ago and the monthly living cost was small.
As a tourist, I stayed in a place midtown, spent probably no more than $50 a day. Hotel and food were around $30.
Living out of town, in your own place and you could probably stay comfortable on $1,500 a month, $18,000 a year.
 
2019-09-17 11:32:06 PM  

Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?


I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.
 
2019-09-17 11:32:41 PM  

Johnny Stalker Black: This is only news to millennials. Gen-Xers like myself have known this since Saint Ronnie's ass was polishing the chair in the Oval Office.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/TxVKaG-b​Nlc?start=96]


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2019-09-17 11:33:31 PM  

iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.


If you graduated high school between 2000-2010, you're sort of kind of a Milennial.
 
2019-09-17 11:35:17 PM  

Resident Muslim: How come few people talk about moving to a cheaper country?
I know at least one guy who moved to Thailand.
I recall doing the math some time ago and the monthly living cost was small.
As a tourist, I stayed in a place midtown, spent probably no more than $50 a day. Hotel and food were around $30.
Living out of town, in your own place and you could probably stay comfortable on $1,500 a month, $18,000 a year.


I hear good thing about Vietnam too. Apparently, it's quite normal for a 20-something woman to marry a 60-70 year old expatriate.
 
2019-09-17 11:35:25 PM  

iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.


A person born that year is a millennial, yes. I feel like this thread is just a big smear of shiat.
 
2019-09-17 11:37:23 PM  

Trocadero: iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.

If you graduated high school between 2000-2010, you're sort of kind of a Milennial.


Nope. I refuse. I'm not a god-damned Millennial. Millennials are the damn children that I yell at to get off my damned lawn.
 
2019-09-17 11:40:57 PM  

iheartscotch: Trocadero: iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.

If you graduated high school between 2000-2010, you're sort of kind of a Milennial.

Nope. I refuse. I'm not a god-damned Millennial. Millennials are the damn children that I yell at to get off my damned lawn.


I graduated in 2005.

But this is 2019. You're allowed to be who you want to be. Therefore, I am a boomer.
 
2019-09-17 11:44:09 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.

A person born that year is a millennial, yes. I feel like this thread is just a big smear of shiat.


Anyone who was alive before the Berlin Wall fell is definitely NOT a Millennial. The oldest Millennials are 19 this year. The Millennium had to have happened before one can be a Millennial.
 
2019-09-17 11:45:19 PM  

Pocket Ninja: A six paragraph summary article with four actual Tweets as support.

This is what failure looks like when you've actually achieved failure, turned it over, scraped the bottom, burned those remnants, and smeared the ashes on a page.


My ex wife had the same thing to say about my first offer during our divorce
 
2019-09-17 11:45:49 PM  

AsparagusFTW: iheartscotch: Trocadero: iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.

If you graduated high school between 2000-2010, you're sort of kind of a Milennial.

Nope. I refuse. I'm not a god-damned Millennial. Millennials are the damn children that I yell at to get off my damned lawn.

I graduated in 2005.

But this is 2019. You're allowed to be who you want to be. Therefore, I am a boomer.


THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!
 
2019-09-17 11:50:31 PM  

Sid_6.7: I'm a Millennial. I've got about $250k in the market and I'm in my mid-30's. Maybe another $200k in miscellaneous assets.

Only debt is my car. I'm paying a mortgage, but I've got close to $80k in available equity.

I'll retire a millionaire easy.

Kids are for suckers.


So your parents were suckers?  Good luck when they write their wills.
 
2019-09-17 11:50:36 PM  

Pocket Ninja: A six paragraph summary article with four actual Tweets as support.

This is what failure looks like when you've actually achieved failure, turned it over, scraped the bottom, burned those remnants, and smeared the ashes on a page.


and it's what passes for modern website article writing.

Or you could read Reddit posts in monotone with semi-relevant images as backdrop on your Youtube channel.
 
2019-09-17 11:51:30 PM  
Pffft, I'm an Xer and I'll never be able to retire either. It's my fault for thinking I'd get rich by working for one failed tech startup after another. Meanwhile, I have relatives who went straight into the workforce after high school and are either in better shape financially or retiring early with full pensions. College is for suckers.
 
2019-09-17 11:56:47 PM  

Unscratchable_Itch: Pffft, I'm an Xer and I'll never be able to retire either. It's my fault for thinking I'd get rich by working for one failed tech startup after another. Meanwhile, I have relatives who went straight into the workforce after high school and are either in better shape financially or retiring early with full pensions. College is for suckers.


I know this is monday-morning quarterbacking, but maybe you should've tried working for successful startups?
 
2019-09-17 11:57:00 PM  
I may not be rich but at least I have a huge cock.
 
2019-09-17 11:58:45 PM  

iheartscotch: Anyone who was alive before the Berlin Wall fell is definitely NOT a Millennial. The oldest Millennials are 19 this year. The Millennium had to have happened before one can be a Millennial.


You're thinking of post-millennials, aka Gen Z, aka Zoomers

Millennials are people born 85-95 or so.
 
2019-09-18 12:00:44 AM  
Massive cardiac episode at age 46, nobody finds my body for 2 days at least. Book it, done.
 
2019-09-18 12:03:22 AM  
You say "retirement", I say "Selling meth from an ice cream truck". Potayto, potahto.
 
2019-09-18 12:09:51 AM  

TylerParry: I may not be rich but at least I have a huge cock.


This has two smart votes. Just how many people on Fark know that you have a big cock??

/not slut-shaming
 
2019-09-18 12:10:00 AM  

gnarlywizzard: iheartscotch: Anyone who was alive before the Berlin Wall fell is definitely NOT a Millennial. The oldest Millennials are 19 this year. The Millennium had to have happened before one can be a Millennial.

You're thinking of post-millennials, aka Gen Z, aka Zoomers

Millennials are people born 85-95 or so.


The definition I cling to is that the first fruits of the Millennial generation graduated high school in the year 2000 - that's where the name Millenial came from. So, it's the people born 1982-1996.
 
2019-09-18 12:11:22 AM  

TylerParry: I may not be rich but at least I have a huge cock.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-09-18 12:13:04 AM  
Honestly, with little expectation of fixing medical availability and long term budget crunches thanks to Republican no-taxes-ever idiocy, I plan on keeping a pistol nearby. If I'm ever diagnosed with something horrible that insurance/Medicare won't/can't treat, I'd go out on my terms.

If I get 10-15 good years in retirement before that happens, I figure that's fine.

Yay low standards!
 
2019-09-18 12:13:45 AM  

doomjesse: Sid_6.7: I'm a Millennial. I've got about $250k in the market and I'm in my mid-30's. Maybe another $200k in miscellaneous assets.

Only debt is my car. I'm paying a mortgage, but I've got close to $80k in available equity.

I'll retire a millionaire easy.

Kids are for suckers.

So your parents were suckers?  Good luck when they write their wills.


Maybe not suckers, but they sure did know how to raise a tacky doucgebag.
 
2019-09-18 12:16:36 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-09-18 12:19:39 AM  

Resident Muslim: How come few people talk about moving to a cheaper country?
I know at least one guy who moved to Thailand.
I recall doing the math some time ago and the monthly living cost was small.
As a tourist, I stayed in a place midtown, spent probably no more than $50 a day. Hotel and food were around $30.
Living out of town, in your own place and you could probably stay comfortable on $1,500 a month, $18,000 a year.


If I didn't get married, my plan was Thailand starting at age 40 with some tele-work, maybe 10 hours a week (I'm lucky enough to be able to swing $100-150/hr doing that stuff).   I figured I'd have to have half a mil to live there until retirement, then reap social security if it still exists.
 
2019-09-18 12:21:33 AM  

doomjesse: Sid_6.7: I'm a Millennial. I've got about $250k in the market and I'm in my mid-30's. Maybe another $200k in miscellaneous assets.

Only debt is my car. I'm paying a mortgage, but I've got close to $80k in available equity.

I'll retire a millionaire easy.

Kids are for suckers.

So your parents were suckers?  Good luck when they write their wills.


Doesn't sound like he's going to need an inheritance.   :)
 
2019-09-18 12:24:51 AM  

Unscratchable_Itch: Pffft, I'm an Xer and I'll never be able to retire either. It's my fault for thinking I'd get rich by working for one failed tech startup after another. Meanwhile, I have relatives who went straight into the workforce after high school and are either in better shape financially or retiring early with full pensions. College is for suckers.


Sucker here. I allowed myself to be convinced that college debt is good debt (not anymore, it isn't). Now I get to work until I die with no pension or retirement. I'm not quite sure retiring is such a great idea anyway, since I see family slowly wasting away with nothing productive to do.

/not a millennial
 
2019-09-18 12:27:16 AM  

Johnny Stalker Black: Unscratchable_Itch: Pffft, I'm an Xer and I'll never be able to retire either. It's my fault for thinking I'd get rich by working for one failed tech startup after another. Meanwhile, I have relatives who went straight into the workforce after high school and are either in better shape financially or retiring early with full pensions. College is for suckers.

I know this is monday-morning quarterbacking, but maybe you should've tried working for successful startups?


Um, yeah. If I knew they were going to fail I wouldn't have started working there in the first place. And if I had that kind of foresight I would have stopped working altogether and become a day trader.
 
2019-09-18 12:27:58 AM  
Retirement is for boomers, and some lotto winners.
 
2019-09-18 12:31:04 AM  

Naido: TylerParry: I may not be rich but at least I have a huge cock.

This has two smart votes. Just how many people on Fark know that you have a big cock??

/not slut-shaming


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-09-18 12:32:01 AM  
Living in a dumpster???? Pffff!!! I wish!  Some of us 'commoners' have to get by living in a Trash-Co Waste Disposal Unit !
 
2019-09-18 12:35:48 AM  
I'm retired from both military and federal service (medical) so as long as we have a functional government I get paid every month until I die. Unless they decide one day that paying for non active troops is expensive and just put cyanide in our meds. Or we have a hostile regime change who hunt down and kill any potential loyal soldiers to the old government. They probably won't be cutting any more checks. Or we have some ass clown president totally bankrupt the government and sell it to China or something.

But barring all that, I totes appreciate all you guys taking care of me.
 
2019-09-18 12:40:42 AM  

iheartscotch: Resident Muslim: How come few people talk about moving to a cheaper country?
I know at least one guy who moved to Thailand.
I recall doing the math some time ago and the monthly living cost was small.
As a tourist, I stayed in a place midtown, spent probably no more than $50 a day. Hotel and food were around $30.
Living out of town, in your own place and you could probably stay comfortable on $1,500 a month, $18,000 a year.

I hear good thing about Vietnam too. Apparently, it's quite normal for a 20-something woman to marry a 60-70 year old expatriate.


Go on...
 
2019-09-18 12:45:20 AM  

Resident Muslim: How come few people talk about moving to a cheaper country?


Cheaper countries tend to lack things we take for granted, like the Bill Of Rights...

It may have its flaws, but I'd rather pay more if it means I don't have to be murdered on the street for unfounded accusations of saying mean things about the royal family...
 
2019-09-18 12:46:01 AM  
"well", subby, "it goes about as well".
 
2019-09-18 12:58:39 AM  
My plan was to stay pickled on whatever opioid painkillers I got overprescribed as an elderly person with random aches. Thanks, Sacklers. Heroin it is.

/Gen X
 
2019-09-18 01:08:46 AM  

Sid_6.7: I'm a Millennial. I've got about $250k in the market and I'm in my mid-30's. Maybe another $200k in miscellaneous assets.

Only debt is my car. I'm paying a mortgage, but I've got close to $80k in available equity.

I'll retire a millionaire easy.

Kids are for suckers.


What a terrible thing to say about your parents.  Guess it's true though, millennials always blame their parents for their own faults.
 
2019-09-18 01:17:01 AM  

Trocadero: iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.

If you graduated high school between 2000-2010, you're sort of kind of a Milennial.


If you were born between 1982 to 1994, if you became a young adult or came of age with George W. Bush's administration, you're a Millennial.
 
2019-09-18 01:22:46 AM  

Trocadero: iheartscotch: Snapper Carr: Is this another instance of an author using "Millennial" when referring to someone in their early-mid 20's?

I've heard of people born as long ago as 1985 referred to as "Millennial". The word means less than shiat.

If you graduated high school between 2000-2010, you're sort of kind of a Milennial.


Here's the Pew Research Center's definitions

Fark user imageView Full Size


In practice, it gets a bit fuzzy at the margins, my experiences as a 40 year old Xer can be closer to those of an older Millennial, but I guess you could say I had an analog childhood and a digital life from about 18 onwards.

Anyway, in terms of retirement planning I'm following the financial independence/retire early path and intend to retire at 50. I'm nothing special - a librarian - but I don't have kids and bought my house before the market went nuts.
 
2019-09-18 01:53:13 AM  

MythDragon: I'm retired from both military and federal service (medical) so as long as we have a functional government I get paid every month until I die. Unless they decide one day that paying for non active troops is expensive and just put cyanide in our meds. Or we have a hostile regime change who hunt down and kill any potential loyal soldiers to the old government. They probably won't be cutting any more checks. Or we have some ass clown president totally bankrupt the government and sell it to China or something.

But barring all that, I totes appreciate all you guys taking care of me.


I/We appreciate your service.  I don't like taxes, but paying the people who were at least theoretically willing to fight for me, and may have done so, is the last thing I'd ever complain about, especially if it's medical.
 
2019-09-18 02:32:04 AM  

3rd Burglar: [Fark user image image 515x266]
[Fark user image image 638x359]


I was starting to think that chart was purposefully made to piss people off until I realized "handheld devices" and "FaceTime" probably got switched around accidentally.
 
2019-09-18 02:56:05 AM  
"...combing through credit card and bank statements to see if there are any expenses that can be cut or eliminated, like an unused subscription to a magazine or happy hours that don't actually bring joy."

I'm not a millennial, but this always seems to be the advice people who have retirement savings seem to pull out of their asses. Their secret seems to be "don't enjoy any of your life at all until you get to your 60s... just so you can survive and not enjoy your life even more until you die".

And no, not buying the occasional (1-2x a week) coffee or eating out someplace cheap once in awhile ain't gonna do a damn thing to help that $40k student loan. What these folks need are real jobs paying real money so they can get their asses out of debt, out of their parents basements, out of their shatty apartments with roommates, and start saving for real... like their parents were able to. Ya gotta enjoy at least some of your life, else why bother?

Thing is when millennials do cut back on buying shat corporations accuse them of "killing" whatever it is they're not buying. They can't win.
 
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