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(Futurism)   BMW unveils a car painted in Vantablack. Zaphod Beeblebrox immediately steals it   (futurism.com) divider line
    More: Cool, BMW, BMW Sports Activity Series, BMW X6, BMW X5, Spartanburg, South Carolina, BMW xDrive, BMW Manufacturing Co. Spartanburg, Black  
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2705 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 30 Aug 2019 at 6:23 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



41 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-08-30 3:14:12 AM  
Hotblack Desiato! Paging Hotblack Desiato!
 
2019-08-30 5:50:37 AM  
You mean in summer I can open the doors to an even hotter car than I do today?

Neat.
 
2019-08-30 6:22:42 AM  
Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.
 
2019-08-30 6:36:57 AM  
Is that like Vanna White, only different?
 
2019-08-30 6:38:59 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.


Seriously, how much did Anish Kapoor need to be fellated in order for BMW to get this made? They should have asked Stuart Semple, who isn't a cnut.
 
2019-08-30 6:40:20 AM  
"Yes, officer, that car just came out of nowhere. I never saw it coming before I hit it."
 
2019-08-30 6:44:53 AM  
Not impressed:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-30 6:53:47 AM  
Hello?

We put reflectors on cars for a reason.
 
2019-08-30 6:55:26 AM  

dryknife: Is that like Vanna White, only different?


I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is
 
2019-08-30 6:56:20 AM  
Yeup. I think "how can I make my car less noticeable?"
 
2019-08-30 7:00:22 AM  
Wow, it's really amazing how black that car is when you film a few underexposed seconds of it in a really poorly-lit (mostly backlit) setting! Incredible.
 
2019-08-30 7:06:04 AM  

MagicChicken: Gordon Bennett: Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.

Seriously, how much did Anish Kapoor need to be fellated in order for BMW to get this made? They should have asked Stuart Semple, who isn't a cnut.


It makes me sad that jerk clearly profited significantly on this.
 
2019-08-30 7:06:12 AM  

MagicChicken: Gordon Bennett: Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.

Seriously, how much did Anish Kapoor need to be fellated in order for BMW to get this made? They should have asked Stuart Semple, who isn't a cnut.


Apparently this is a different version of Vantablack than the one Anish has exclusive rights to in the world of artistry alone (which according to Surrey Nano is rather limited in scope in the first place).

Also as mentioned in previous Vantablack threads, this isn't some mere paint where you pop the lid off the can or tube and go to town with a brush. This is an industrial engineering coating process that requires a laboratory environment to apply and the material and application process themselves are strictly export controlled (though once applied it "may" not be). Though again apparently the version used on the BMW is "less" complicated than the original.
 
2019-08-30 7:10:45 AM  

MagicChicken: Gordon Bennett: Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.

Seriously, how much did Anish Kapoor need to be fellated in order for BMW to get this made? They should have asked Stuart Semple, who isn't a cnut.


It's not actual Vanta Black. This one is only 99% absorbent of light compared to 99.95%

Likely they didn't have to do anything because of that.
 
2019-08-30 7:13:27 AM  

casual disregard: MagicChicken: Gordon Bennett: Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.

Seriously, how much did Anish Kapoor need to be fellated in order for BMW to get this made? They should have asked Stuart Semple, who isn't a cnut.

Apparently this is a different version of Vantablack than the one Anish has exclusive rights to in the world of artistry alone (which according to Surrey Nano is rather limited in scope in the first place).

Also as mentioned in previous Vantablack threads, this isn't some mere paint where you pop the lid off the can or tube and go to town with a brush. This is an industrial engineering coating process that requires a laboratory environment to apply and the material and application process themselves are strictly export controlled (though once applied it "may" not be). Though again apparently the version used on the BMW is "less" complicated than the original.


I honestly wonder how this would fair in the outdoors. I know actual Vanta Black would melt or warp most things from just the sunlight it absorbs, but this 99% blend may fair better? Or would the BMW still be a puddle if left outside in a sunny day?
 
2019-08-30 7:13:27 AM  
"As it is, no one knows when BMW drivers are gonna turn because they can't use blinkers - how can we make them even less visible to other drivers on the road?"
 
2019-08-30 7:20:40 AM  
A car that black is going to have middle-age white ladies named Karen calling the cops constantly to report it doing suspicious things like "being parked" and "driving."
 
2019-08-30 7:26:43 AM  
I imagine that car will just melt in Scottsdale in the summertime.
Also, how much for a respray when someone inevitably runs into it?
 
2019-08-30 7:27:58 AM  
I'd like to see how black it is after about ten minutes existing in the same county as a gravel road or parking lot.

Or down here in NC during pollen season.
 
2019-08-30 7:33:52 AM  
''Every time you try to operate on of these weird black controls that are labelled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it. What is this? Some kind of galactic hyperhearse?''
 
2019-08-30 7:41:43 AM  
-You see, ordinary dealers sell what look like black cars, but if you look closely, you'll see that they're very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
-That's true. I thought my Uncle Tommy was driving a black car, but when I looked at it closely, it was just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
-Never buy black cars from a normal dealer.
img.gifglobe.comView Full Size
 
2019-08-30 7:51:34 AM  

Koodz: I'd like to see how black it is after about ten minutes existing in the same county as a gravel road or parking lot.

Or down here in NC during pollen season.


I wonder what Florida sun, salt air, and acid rain would do it.
 
2019-08-30 7:52:22 AM  

brainlordmesomorph: Koodz: I'd like to see how black it is after about ten minutes existing in the same county as a gravel road or parking lot.

Or down here in NC during pollen season.

I wonder what Florida sun, salt air, and acid rain would do it.


Or a northeast highway after a snowstorm.
 
2019-08-30 8:14:11 AM  
Fare
 
2019-08-30 8:19:46 AM  

Bovine Diarrhea Virus: I imagine that car will just melt in Scottsdale in the summertime.


<deep-satan-voice>
Welcome to Australia
</>

Seriously, physics.
 
2019-08-30 8:30:58 AM  
Never mind the car, please put that black on everything, my walls, ceiling, floor, my clothes even. Then I'll hide.
 
2019-08-30 8:46:56 AM  

brainlordmesomorph: Koodz: I'd like to see how black it is after about ten minutes existing in the same county as a gravel road or parking lot.

Or down here in NC during pollen season.

I wonder what Florida sun, salt air, and acid rain would do it.


Or your typical sea bird's cloaca.
 
2019-08-30 9:10:58 AM  

stuartp9: ''Every time you try to operate on of these weird black controls that are labelled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it. What is this? Some kind of galactic hyperhearse?''


You're a hoopy frood. I sass you.
 
2019-08-30 9:21:31 AM  

casual disregard: Also as mentioned in previous Vantablack threads, this isn't some mere paint where you pop the lid off the can or tube and go to town with a brush. This is an industrial engineering coating process that requires a laboratory environment to apply and the material and application process themselves are strictly export controlled


Part of the work for my dissertation involved constructing electron guns used to excite atoms inside a vacuum chamber. The optical system I had set up required the gun to be as black as possible, so I used a technique called "gold blacking." Inside a bell jar, you'd set up a tungsten filament, wrap some gold wire around it, and hang the parts of the gun you wanted to black inside the jar. If you evacuated the jar (just using a roughing pump--all you needed was a crappy vacuum), and then heated the filament to vaporize the gold, it would get deposited on the metal parts inside as a an incredibly flat black coating. I don't recall where this technique came from; it was just something that had been handed down in the lab. And I don't recall why it works--why you get a deep black soot instead of gold. I should probably dig my dissertation out and look at it. It was great for putting parts in high-vacuum applications, since it was just gold and there was nothing to outgas.

Anyway, maybe someone should try this on cars. You'd get a super-black finish, AND you'd get to say it's a gold-plated car! You could probably sell it for way more than the Vantablack one. Unfortunately, gold blacking was pretty easy to scratch off, so you'd need to figure out some sort of coating to put over it, and that would probably negate some of the blackness.
 
2019-08-30 10:20:44 AM  

Nidiot: Never mind the car, please put that black on everything, my walls, ceiling, floor, my clothes even. Then I'll hide dress up my wife as Dagger.


FTFM.
 
2019-08-30 10:24:06 AM  

FormlessOne: "As it is, no one knows when BMW drivers are gonna turn because they can't use blinkers - how can we make them even less visible to other drivers on the road?"


If you had to pay for expensive synthetic indicator fluid from Germany that required a quarterly refill, you'd conserve it as well.
 
2019-08-30 11:12:06 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Wow, it's really amazing how black that car is when you film a few underexposed seconds of it in a really poorly-lit (mostly backlit) setting! Incredible.


No kidding.  Maybe it would have been interesting to see, but this video gave us nothing.  Put it side by side with a normal black BMW.  Show it under a variety of lighting.  Maybe give us more than a handful of seconds of overly produced garbage.
 
2019-08-30 11:14:13 AM  

keldaria: casual disregard: MagicChicken: Gordon Bennett: Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.

Seriously, how much did Anish Kapoor need to be fellated in order for BMW to get this made? They should have asked Stuart Semple, who isn't a cnut.

Apparently this is a different version of Vantablack than the one Anish has exclusive rights to in the world of artistry alone (which according to Surrey Nano is rather limited in scope in the first place).

Also as mentioned in previous Vantablack threads, this isn't some mere paint where you pop the lid off the can or tube and go to town with a brush. This is an industrial engineering coating process that requires a laboratory environment to apply and the material and application process themselves are strictly export controlled (though once applied it "may" not be). Though again apparently the version used on the BMW is "less" complicated than the original.

I honestly wonder how this would fair in the outdoors. I know actual Vanta Black would melt or warp most things from just the sunlight it absorbs, but this 99% blend may fair better? Or would the BMW still be a puddle if left outside in a sunny day?


Normal black paint absorbs 96% or so of incident light, the car absorbs 99%... So wouldn't it get about 3% hotter?
 
2019-08-30 11:54:01 AM  
Bullshiat! nothing is blacker than Wesley Snipes or Forest Whitaker's neck.
Dont Be A Menace to South Central - Racist cop
Youtube t89gYubt76U
 
2019-08-30 12:59:55 PM  

MagicChicken: Gordon Bennett: Only Anish Kapoor is allowed to buy it.

Seriously, how much did Anish Kapoor need to be fellated in order for BMW to get this made? They should have asked Stuart Semple, who isn't a cnut.


I think he's heard about it.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-30 3:33:48 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Unfortunately, gold blacking was pretty easy to scratch off, so you'd need to figure out some sort of coating to put over it, and that would probably negate some of the blackness.


There are plenty of people out there saying BMW ought to have just gone all the way and made a one-off coated with true Vantablack:

https://newatlas.com/automotive/bmw-v​a​ntablack-x6/

And whether or not it makes any sense to the Vantaback team, we'd love to see a car done up in the full-fat original recipe. The idea of dialing down the power of Vantablack just doesn't sit well with us, this is an extreme technology that should be presented in its most extreme form.

The problem with this is that I imagine the Vantablack is a coating that just doesn't tolerate anything other than existing in laboratory conditions, or otherwise extremely controlled conditions. Cover a car with Vantablack and you've got to keep it in a showroom/studio. How do you keep it pristinely clean? When dust falls on it, can you even dust it off with any physical dust removal tools without upsetting or otherwise marring the Vantablack surface? You sure as hell can't take that car out for a drive and expose it to all the road contamination that would immediately get deposited on the surfaces.

Try to cover the Vantablack with a protective coating (like a paint clear coat process) and you've just ruined the properties of Vantablack, because the protective coating will be reflecting light before the Vantablack beneath the surface gets to absorb almost all the visible light.
 
2019-08-30 3:55:02 PM  
Considering how ugly the X6 is, they picked the right car to do that with!
 
2019-08-30 4:58:10 PM  
Think of blackest thing you can imagine, and double that blackness!

This is the level of darkness we strive for
Youtube LEC6F7ic7ks
 
2019-08-30 6:21:52 PM  
How to make a car look more black:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-30 8:17:06 PM  

mrmopar5287: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Unfortunately, gold blacking was pretty easy to scratch off, so you'd need to figure out some sort of coating to put over it, and that would probably negate some of the blackness.

There are plenty of people out there saying BMW ought to have just gone all the way and made a one-off coated with true Vantablack:

https://newatlas.com/automotive/bmw-va​ntablack-x6/

And whether or not it makes any sense to the Vantaback team, we'd love to see a car done up in the full-fat original recipe. The idea of dialing down the power of Vantablack just doesn't sit well with us, this is an extreme technology that should be presented in its most extreme form.

The problem with this is that I imagine the Vantablack is a coating that just doesn't tolerate anything other than existing in laboratory conditions, or otherwise extremely controlled conditions. Cover a car with Vantablack and you've got to keep it in a showroom/studio. How do you keep it pristinely clean? When dust falls on it, can you even dust it off with any physical dust removal tools without upsetting or otherwise marring the Vantablack surface? You sure as hell can't take that car out for a drive and expose it to all the road contamination that would immediately get deposited on the surfaces.

Try to cover the Vantablack with a protective coating (like a paint clear coat process) and you've just ruined the properties of Vantablack, because the protective coating will be reflecting light before the Vantablack beneath the surface gets to absorb almost all the visible light.


My guess is it would look like a cardboard cutout
 
2019-08-31 3:25:58 AM  

casual disregard: Not impressed:

[Fark user image 500x275]


Came here for the "None More Black" line, and I'm pleased to see that y'all did the right thing.
 
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