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(Axios)   He then grabbed a sword and started swinging it at the ocean, commanding the tides to cease   (amp.axios.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Nuclear weapon, President of the United States, Jared Kushner, President Trump, Tropical cyclone, White House, Charles Kushner, Hurricane Katrina  
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4539 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 Aug 2019 at 11:26 PM (39 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



179 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2019-08-25 8:33:45 PM  
Hey, I have a great idea. Let's spread radioactive fallout into as large an area as humanly possible. How should we do that?
 
2019-08-25 8:40:29 PM  
You want nuclear sharknados?  This is how you get nuclear sharknados.
 
2019-08-25 8:42:20 PM  
A nuke would heat up the water beneath it, essentially adding more energy to the hurricane. And then you got radioactive wind spinning in a cyclone hundreds of miles wide at hundreds of miles an hour hitting landfill and cancerfying every biological thing it touches.

So nuking a hurricane would actually make it worse.
 
2019-08-25 8:48:25 PM  

NeoCortex42: You want nuclear sharknados?  This is how you get nuclear sharknados.


Y'know, telling him that is probably the best way to get him to reconsider.
 
2019-08-25 8:57:53 PM  
Just tell him it's best to nuke them right before landfall for maximum effect and get him to pre-authorize the strike. Then just wait until one is about to hit Mar-a-Lago.
 
2019-08-25 9:01:17 PM  
What good is a nuclear arsenal if you can't use it?
 
2019-08-25 9:02:08 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Gotta nuke something.
 
2019-08-25 9:04:48 PM  
You really can't make upt this shiat.  He is that ignorant.
 
2019-08-25 9:06:41 PM  
media0.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2019-08-25 9:08:47 PM  
flabbergasted, I be it.
 
2019-08-25 9:09:12 PM  
I, for one, am so glad Obama took his secret weather machine with him when he left office.
 
2019-08-25 9:10:05 PM  

vudukungfu: I, for one, am so glad Obama took his secret weather machine with him when he left office.


What ever became of his time machine?  Asking for a nation in trouble.
 
2019-08-25 9:13:25 PM  
He's only asking for a friend.  Who has a house in Florida.  Name of John Barron.  You've never heard of him.
 
2019-08-25 9:21:11 PM  
What movie did he get this dumb farking idea from?
 
2019-08-25 9:23:08 PM  
"His goal - to keep a catastrophic hurricane from hitting the mainland - is not bad," the official said. "His objective is not bad."

That is some world class euphemizing. "Sure he created a giant radioactive hyper-hurricane that rendered much of the Gulf Coast uninhabitable, but his intentions were good." Someone really needs to stand up in those meetings and tell him he's a farking moron when he says things like this. He's needed it for his entire life.
 
2019-08-25 9:26:06 PM  
 Trump said, "I got it. I got it. Why don't we nuke them?"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-25 9:28:36 PM  

nekom: vudukungfu: I, for one, am so glad Obama took his secret weather machine with him when he left office.

What ever became of his time machine?  Asking for a nation in trouble.


Killary used it to go back and kill the guy who invented it.  She didn't want anyone interfering with her plan to rule the world.
 
2019-08-25 9:28:42 PM  
Asked how the briefer reacted, the source recalled he said something to the effect of, "Sir, we'll look into that."

The fact that the briefer said this instead of "no, you f*cking dumbass" is a testament both to where we currently are as a country and the briefer's ability to hold it together.
 
2019-08-25 9:33:26 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-25 9:46:27 PM  
The F-14 fighter jet bounced in and out of the turbulent winds as Special Officer Donald J. Trump prepared to fire.

"Andrew, I have you right in my sights."

It wasn't just enough that political parties and nation-states had turned on our Presdent.  The greatest hurricanes in the history of the Atlantic, dating back to regular record-keeping as it began in 1851, were coming back for revenge.

They were all here: Gilbert, Katrina, Camille, a wide range of hurricanes named after individuals depicting all genders and ethnic groups from the Northern Atlantic, along with the occasional military code.  But even though Donald Trump had no dog in this fight, he was the alpha.

As Hurricane Andrew prepared to once again make landfall, Donald Trump began the sequence to arm the payload and fire the nuclear missile right into the fury of mother nature.  The radio crackled: "Donald, if you fire that missile, you're not only going to destroy the city of Homestead, but everyone in it."

Donald spent several minutes figuring out how to operate the radio as Andrew barreled along at a speed of approximately eighteen miles per hour, bearing a wobbling westward direction, but the man finally found the button labeled "RADIO" and made his voice heard.

"Mike Pence, my Vice President," the Presdent said, "I have the situation under control."  But Donald didn't even know if it was Mike Pence, and the situation was not under control.  Nature's fury was an elaborate fiction, the combined work of dementia, syphillis, narcissism, Diet Coke, and a stolen fighter jet.

Tens-of-thousands of Americans were dead and an entire metropolitan area was devastated as international markets and politicians unraveled the absolute carnage of the Presdent's war on what he imagined nature to be.  FOX News celebrated the Presdent's efforts to keep this country safe from the imagined enemies in his head.

Trump's poll numbers would go down a handful of points before rebounding the next week, when the news that Donald had mishandled uranium at the Indian Point Nuclear Facility began to unfold, one scandal wiping out the memory of the next, along with most of the Eastern Seaboard.
 
2019-08-25 9:47:43 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: What movie did he get this dumb farking idea from?


Geostorm - Climate Change [Opening Scene HD]
Youtube wDNAzi1XUVs
 
2019-08-25 9:47:57 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/Only 513 days left to go with this shiat show.
 
2019-08-25 9:51:36 PM  
Asked how the briefer reacted, the source recalled he said something to the effect of, "Sir, we'll look into that."

Rather than placating the incontinent dickhead with subtle condescension and magnanimity that'd just go over his head, how about we try being as farking direct as goddamn possible considering the volume of stupidity and ignorance on display with his "plan".

"You know what, Mr. President? That's the stupidest farking thing I've ever heard. So stupid, in fact, that it's not even worthy of a detailed explanation as to why it's so farking stupid, because the mere fact that you suggested something so childishly ignorant makes it clear that you are incapable of rational thought. I now find myself questioning how we've come so far without a legitimate invocation of the 25th Amendment, you cockamamie, self-aggrandizing shiat-for-brains."
 
2019-08-25 9:54:23 PM  

nekom: vudukungfu: I, for one, am so glad Obama took his secret weather machine with him when he left office.

What ever became of his time machine?  Asking for a nation in trouble.


Time travel will never be invented.  That's been proven conclusively by nobody showing up January 20, 2017 and stopping this whole mess.
 
2019-08-25 10:07:16 PM  

Ishkur: A nuke would heat up the water beneath it, essentially adding more energy to the hurricane. And then you got radioactive wind spinning in a cyclone hundreds of miles wide at hundreds of miles an hour hitting landfill and cancerfying every biological thing it touches.

So nuking a hurricane would actually make it worse.


It's a recurring theme to all his 'solutions': make it worse and let somebody else deal with it.
 
2019-08-25 10:17:59 PM  
King Canute was in on the joke.

Donald Trump is shoving "Sorry!" pieces up his nose and screaming "Chalkmate!"
 
2019-08-25 10:24:20 PM  

calbert: Markoff_Cheney: What movie did he get this dumb farking idea from?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/wDNAzi1X​UVs?start=88]


I feel like several movies have toyed with the concept.
 
2019-08-25 10:25:22 PM  

nekom: [Fark user image image 850x531]
Gotta nuke something.


I was gonna say fatty just wants to use them.
 
2019-08-25 10:30:50 PM  
All Trumpian nonsense aside, it does bring up an interesting question.

Suppose our monitoring and modeling technologies get so good that we can identify the very small disturbances that will form a hurricane. Then maybe it is feasible to disrupt them.

Now you have to trade off New Orleans versus some marine species that relies on them...or some farmer depending on the rain.
 
2019-08-25 10:55:19 PM  

mr_a: All Trumpian nonsense aside, it does bring up an interesting question.

Suppose our monitoring and modeling technologies get so good that we can identify the very small disturbances that will form a hurricane. Then maybe it is feasible to disrupt them.

Now you have to trade off New Orleans versus some marine species that relies on them...or some farmer depending on the rain.


The NOAA page mentioned in the article  mentions that.

Attacking weak tropical waves or depressions before they have a chance to grow into hurricanes isn't promising either. About 80 of these disturbances form every year in the Atlantic basin, but only about 5 become hurricanes in a typical year. There is no way to tell in advance which ones will develop. If the energy released in a tropical disturbance were only 10% of that released in a hurricane, it's still a lot of power, so that the hurricane police would need to dim the whole world's lights many times a year.
 
2019-08-25 10:55:21 PM  

mr_a: All Trumpian nonsense aside, it does bring up an interesting question.

Suppose our monitoring and modeling technologies get so good that we can identify the very small disturbances that will form a hurricane. Then maybe it is feasible to disrupt them.

Now you have to trade off New Orleans versus some marine species that relies on them...or some farmer depending on the rain.


Funny you should mention that.  Warm oceans are one of those disturbances.  But no, we aren't going to do jack shiat about that. Also wind patterns, which are influenced by warming temperatures.  But the temperature of the planet is not on the list of things we are going to do jack shiat about, either.  Another is the rotation of the earth.  So there's that.

Any other suggestions?
 
2019-08-25 11:16:24 PM  

forteblast: mr_a: All Trumpian nonsense aside, it does bring up an interesting question.

Suppose our monitoring and modeling technologies get so good that we can identify the very small disturbances that will form a hurricane. Then maybe it is feasible to disrupt them.

Now you have to trade off New Orleans versus some marine species that relies on them...or some farmer depending on the rain.

The NOAA page mentioned in the article  mentions that.

Attacking weak tropical waves or depressions before they have a chance to grow into hurricanes isn't promising either. About 80 of these disturbances form every year in the Atlantic basin, but only about 5 become hurricanes in a typical year. There is no way to tell in advance which ones will develop. If the energy released in a tropical disturbance were only 10% of that released in a hurricane, it's still a lot of power, so that the hurricane police would need to dim the whole world's lights many times a year.


I was letting my mind wonder to 100 years in the future to when satellite sensors can detect a puff of air, and chaos theory is so good that we can identify the exact second a butterfly in Africa beats his wings and begins the path to a hurricane in the Caribbean.

Admittedly quite a stretch, but if you think about where hurricane forecasting was 100 years ago- where you hoped a ship radioed a warning before it sunk--- who knows?
 
2019-08-25 11:28:57 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-25 11:30:57 PM  

Ishkur: So nuking a hurricane would actually make it worse.


Much like nuking anything.
 
2019-08-25 11:31:52 PM  
If grandpa said shiat like he does you'd take away his car keys, yet this orange farkmuppet has the nuke codes.
 
2019-08-25 11:31:59 PM  
Nuking Hurricanes is the real R word.
 
2019-08-25 11:32:50 PM  

nekom: [Fark user image 850x531]
Gotta nuke something.


Too late.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLA6c​L​OJ5Kc
 
2019-08-25 11:33:08 PM  
This is obviously bonkers, especially with a nuke. But, for curiosity's sake, how would a (real
 
2019-08-25 11:33:48 PM  

Ishkur: A nuke would heat up the water beneath it, essentially adding more energy to the hurricane. And then you got radioactive wind spinning in a cyclone hundreds of miles wide at hundreds of miles an hour hitting landfill and cancerfying every biological thing it touches.

So nuking a hurricane would actually make it worse.


No shiat?
 
2019-08-25 11:35:28 PM  
(really goddamn big) conventional explosion effect a forming hurricane? I think the idea is reckless, but I kinda want to watch the attempt.
 
2019-08-25 11:35:37 PM  
Napalm tornados!

Water-board the drought!

Gas the j...
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2019-08-25 11:36:09 PM  
Sorry, but this is a hoax until proven otherwise. No one is that f*cking dumb, not even Donnie, who I believe is, to be kind, extremely f*cking stupid.
 
2019-08-25 11:36:09 PM  

forteblast: mr_a: All Trumpian nonsense aside, it does bring up an interesting question.

Suppose our monitoring and modeling technologies get so good that we can identify the very small disturbances that will form a hurricane. Then maybe it is feasible to disrupt them.

Now you have to trade off New Orleans versus some marine species that relies on them...or some farmer depending on the rain.

The NOAA page mentioned in the article  mentions that.

Attacking weak tropical waves or depressions before they have a chance to grow into hurricanes isn't promising either. About 80 of these disturbances form every year in the Atlantic basin, but only about 5 become hurricanes in a typical year. There is no way to tell in advance which ones will develop. If the energy released in a tropical disturbance were only 10% of that released in a hurricane, it's still a lot of power, so that the hurricane police would need to dim the whole world's lights many times a year.


The other problem: even if you could identify which ones are going to form hurricanes and somehow stop them you still have a warm ocean in the area that's trying to shed a VAST amount of energy into the atmosphere.

Prevent a few hurricanes and the area will just keep accumulating energy that's begging to be unleashed, so when one actually does manage to form it's really going to let rip.
 
2019-08-25 11:36:25 PM  

Minus1Kelvin: Ishkur: A nuke would heat up the water beneath it, essentially adding more energy to the hurricane. And then you got radioactive wind spinning in a cyclone hundreds of miles wide at hundreds of miles an hour hitting landfill and cancerfying every biological thing it touches.

So nuking a hurricane would actually make it worse.

No shiat?


Nuke, yes. Conventional, might be fun to watch.
 
2019-08-25 11:36:51 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: What movie did he get this dumb farking idea from?


Ideas like this were common back in the '50s. Bill Bryson writes in one of his books that there was a plan under serious consideration to widen the shipping channels to Australia by nuking the Great Barrier Reef.

There's only one person left dumb enough to suggest such things now, and I think he's really just itching to nuke something.
 
2019-08-25 11:38:35 PM  
Man I hope this story is wrong.
HOLY fark HE IS THE PRESIDENT AND I CAN'T DRINK ON SUNDAY NIGHT.
 
2019-08-25 11:39:03 PM  
I had a grandparent who developed Alzheimer's which was eventually fatal.

She never said anything this stupid.
 
2019-08-25 11:39:05 PM  

GooberMcFly: nekom: vudukungfu: I, for one, am so glad Obama took his secret weather machine with him when he left office.

What ever became of his time machine?  Asking for a nation in trouble.

Time travel will never be invented.  That's been proven conclusively by nobody showing up January 20, 2017 and stopping this whole mess.


There is another theory that time travel can only be used in a limited fashion, and that change is difficult, so maybe we're already in the better alternative timeline, if you can imagine that.
 
2019-08-25 11:40:28 PM  
For the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, someone, anyone, please get that damn nuclear Football away from Lucy.
 
2019-08-25 11:41:03 PM  
*tsk!* LIBS! So dumb! Most hurricanes hit the south! And radioactive fallout causes healthy mutations! Trump is going to turn the whole south into Übermensch! Very stable genius, remember? No you don't remember, because you're LIBS! Oh man are you guys gonna be surprised when this works! Ahhhahahaha!
 
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