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(NBC News)   Bison smashes car in under 40 seconds. Perfect. Collects 30,000 points   (nbcnews.com) divider line
    More: Scary, American Bison, herd of bison, Video footage, Delle Chiaie family, Automobile, Yellowstone National Park, bison herd, Wyoming  
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3997 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2019 at 12:37 PM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-08-22 12:04:05 PM  
Insurance probably won't cover it, sighting it was an act of wildlife or something.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 12:28:18 PM  
I'm actually shocked that people weren't getting out of their cars to pose for "look at the bison charging at me from behind" selfies.
 
2019-08-22 12:39:16 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 12:39:54 PM  
Rental cars, what can't they do?
 
2019-08-22 12:40:19 PM  

Pocket Ninja: "look at the bison charging at me from behind"


is the name of my SF2 slash fic.
 
2019-08-22 12:40:45 PM  
One of the museums in Montreal has an adult bison head on display.

It's the size of a bloody washing machine.
 
2019-08-22 12:41:03 PM  
Don't care at all about the subject, just glad the writers of the article were intelligent enough to refer to the animals as bison.
 
2019-08-22 12:41:24 PM  
The day Bison smashes your car to bits may have been the most important day of your life.

But for the Bison, *checks article* it was Tuesday.
 
2019-08-22 12:42:19 PM  
Dear tv news stations,

Do not accept vertical videos. You are just reinforcing bad behavior
 
2019-08-22 12:42:51 PM  
Two variations on the buffalo shot.
 
2019-08-22 12:43:36 PM  
Oh god....the newsdesk lady asking what that other animal was....it was a calf.  "It looked like a hyena!"
 
2019-08-22 12:43:43 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 12:43:58 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Photo of incident
 
2019-08-22 12:45:15 PM  

bobobolinskii: One of the museums in Montreal has an adult bison head on display.

It's the size of a bloody washing machine.


And almost as smart.
 
2019-08-22 12:45:35 PM  
"For you, the day that M. Bison graced your village with his presence was the most important day of your life. For me, it was... Tuesday"
 
2019-08-22 12:47:05 PM  
"Suddenly....BISON!!!"
 
2019-08-22 12:50:04 PM  

Merltech: Insurance probably won't cover it, sighting it was an act of wildlife or something.
[Fark user image image 360x140]


In MN (where the deer actively try to commit suicide by car), that's covered by comprehensive.  $50 deductible.
 
2019-08-22 12:54:24 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 12:57:17 PM  
I always tell this story in Yellowstone / bison threads.....we went to YNP/GTNP in 2016.  just gorgeous.  Stunning.  I'd love to go back someday.   a magical, magical place.

anyways....the first bison herd we saw, we were in a convoy of about 10-15 cars.  I noted a bunch of brake lights and was like, "huh?"  when we got closer, we saw about 15-20 bison by the side of road, a few babies, younger ones, and 5-6 adults, led by one big ass bison.  they have these small wooden fences, about 4' high, with little cutouts to let the bison pass between roads.

we were just about 20-30' away (if that) and the leader, he walked to one end of the fence then the other, searching for an opening.  finding none, he took a few steps back, and then as gracefully and lithely as a cat, he jumped the godamn fence.  Keep in mind this guy was about 5', 5 1/2' tall, 7-8' long, and fully grown, just this massive beast.  800lbs?  1,000? 1,200?  He cleared the fence like it was nothing.  then the others followed suit.  it was just incredible to see.  "did you see that?"  "....yeah!  holy shiat!"
 
2019-08-22 12:59:29 PM  

Explodo: Oh god....the newsdesk lady asking what that other animal was....it was a calf.  "It looked like a hyena!"


What did the dad hyena say to his boy when he went off to school?

Bye, Son!
 
2019-08-22 01:00:23 PM  
Makes it easier to get to the wagon?
miro.medium.comView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 01:00:41 PM  

This text is now purple: bobobolinskii: One of the museums in Montreal has an adult bison head on display.

It's the size of a bloody washing machine.

And almost as smart.


When you have zero natural predators, and weigh a fark-ton, intelligence is not in high demand.

/something-something Subby's mom
 
2019-08-22 01:03:12 PM  
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size

Did better than Ryu.
 
2019-08-22 01:03:26 PM  
...on Aug. 13...

i2.wp.comView Full Size

i0.wp.comView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 01:05:01 PM  

rickythepenguin: I always tell this story in Yellowstone / bison threads.....we went to YNP/GTNP in 2016.  just gorgeous.  Stunning.  I'd love to go back someday.   a magical, magical place.

anyways....the first bison herd we saw, we were in a convoy of about 10-15 cars.  I noted a bunch of brake lights and was like, "huh?"  when we got closer, we saw about 15-20 bison by the side of road, a few babies, younger ones, and 5-6 adults, led by one big ass bison.  they have these small wooden fences, about 4' high, with little cutouts to let the bison pass between roads.

we were just about 20-30' away (if that) and the leader, he walked to one end of the fence then the other, searching for an opening.  finding none, he took a few steps back, and then as gracefully and lithely as a cat, he jumped the godamn fence.  Keep in mind this guy was about 5', 5 1/2' tall, 7-8' long, and fully grown, just this massive beast.  800lbs?  1,000? 1,200?  He cleared the fence like it was nothing.  then the others followed suit.  it was just incredible to see.  "did you see that?"  "....yeah!  holy shiat!"


Cattle can do that, too. The difference is, cattle don't know it. They mostly do it when panicked, or something not aware. Cattle fences are at the height they are because cattle won't attempt to clear something above their head, even though they are fully capable of doing so.

The difficulty is once over the fence, the cattle also doesn't believe it can make the jump back into the corral.
 
2019-08-22 01:07:24 PM  
Shonen Knife-Bear Up Bison
Youtube 0PsxtOJbQ1I
 
2019-08-22 01:09:35 PM  
Good. Maybe next time they'll remember to turn their damn phone the right way.
 
2019-08-22 01:18:24 PM  
The main takeaway I got from this video was that Today Show casts for the dumbest 'news' broadcasters they can find. Their comments were worthy of domesticated livestock.
 
2019-08-22 01:33:11 PM  
No, this is not a frightening video.
You're secured in a metal box.
Some scrapes and other shiat may happen.
But your life is not in danger.
Go post your useless shiat on FB for your friends to get all alarmed about.
Then post a photo of your farking dinner.
 
2019-08-22 01:52:55 PM  

SloppyFrenchKisser: No, this is not a frightening video.
You're secured in a metal box.
Some scrapes and other shiat may happen.
But your life is not in danger.
Go post your useless shiat on FB for your friends to get all alarmed about.
Then post a photo of your farking dinner.


It would be uncomfortable to be in the car and there is some danger. It smashed the door and potentially could have broken the glass sending shards into the car to cut people.  If it kept ramming the vehicle potentially it could have penetrated the cabin.  This of course assumes the people do nothing and don't head out the drivers side to escape the danger and head to another vehicle or away from a scene.

Remember logic and cool calculations are had to come by when you have more than a half ton of solid muscle leaning up against your car or smashing into it.  You have to give them a little leeway to panic.
 
2019-08-22 01:53:40 PM  
nice reference subby
 
2019-08-22 01:57:48 PM  
Street Fighter Red Tape: M. Bison
Youtube HYDza1iznhI


So every third match the fighters destroy a car. But does it have to be a fully loaded Mercedes S-class?
 
2019-08-22 01:57:50 PM  

Explodo: Oh god....the newsdesk lady asking what that other animal was....it was a calf.  "It looked like a hyena!"


As an ardent fan of hyenas (all species), this causes me physical pain.
 
2019-08-22 01:58:06 PM  

Explodo: Oh god....the newsdesk lady asking what that other animal was....it was a calf.  "It looked like a hyena!"


Newspeople are readers, not thinkers
 
2019-08-22 02:00:02 PM  
Was THERE last week (Tuesday) on that same stretch of highway so I am feelin' lucky!

Fark user imageView Full Size


They are enormous animals, but the road runs right through THEIR world, so I am not surprised.

\ Also, I promised I would update the Fark community on the whole Yellowstone Super Caldera issue.
\\ It did not blow up last week.
\\\ Got back in time for the special show that says it is due any day (or in 10,000 years)
 
2019-08-22 02:04:01 PM  

J_Kushner: Merltech: Insurance probably won't cover it, sighting it was an act of wildlife or something.
[Fark user image image 360x140]

In MN (where the deer actively try to commit suicide by car), that's covered by comprehensive.  $50 deductible.


Here in Georgia if you hit a deer it's whatever your deductible normally is.  In my case that goddam deer cost me $1000.

I was going less than 30mph about 3 car lengths behind the car in front of me, looked down at the clock, and when I looked up a huge doe was a foot in front of my SUV.  I didn't even have time to hit the brakes.  It went DEER!thumpFARK!  $3500 in damage.

I wonder if it would be different if the deer ran into me.
 
2019-08-22 02:07:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 02:13:46 PM  
There is another video on YT where the bison veer away from hitting the car, and this when the animal was going about twice as fast.

Also, the haircut of the bison can only be described in one way "I'd like to see your manager about the cars in the road....ok"
 
2019-08-22 02:16:56 PM  

i.voted.for.Drew: They are enormous animals, but the road runs right through THEIR world, so I am not surprised.


cool pic -  is that yours?

I was bummed;  of the thousands of buffalo we saw, I ddin't get a good picture of one.  on one hand, that's because i wasn't about to get too close to one.  but even via telephoto i never got any good pictures.  just "yeah, that's about 50 bison running in the grass, about 200 yards away from us...."
 
2019-08-22 02:22:48 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: J_Kushner: Merltech: Insurance probably won't cover it, sighting it was an act of wildlife or something.
[Fark user image image 360x140]

In MN (where the deer actively try to commit suicide by car), that's covered by comprehensive.  $50 deductible.

Here in Georgia if you hit a deer it's whatever your deductible normally is.  In my case that goddam deer cost me $1000.

I was going less than 30mph about 3 car lengths behind the car in front of me, looked down at the clock, and when I looked up a huge doe was a foot in front of my SUV.  I didn't even have time to hit the brakes.  It went DEER!thumpFARK!  $3500 in damage.

I wonder if it would be different if the deer ran into me.


The noise the deer makes when it cartwheels over your car...
MooAAAOO00ooo...

It's seared into my brain & I can never unhear it.
 
2019-08-22 02:23:54 PM  
Was the bison ok?
 
2019-08-22 02:50:05 PM  

rickythepenguin: I always tell this story in Yellowstone / bison threads.....we went to YNP/GTNP in 2016.  just gorgeous.  Stunning.  I'd love to go back someday.   a magical, magical place.

anyways....the first bison herd we saw, we were in a convoy of about 10-15 cars.  I noted a bunch of brake lights and was like, "huh?"  when we got closer, we saw about 15-20 bison by the side of road, a few babies, younger ones, and 5-6 adults, led by one big ass bison.  they have these small wooden fences, about 4' high, with little cutouts to let the bison pass between roads.

we were just about 20-30' away (if that) and the leader, he walked to one end of the fence then the other, searching for an opening.  finding none, he took a few steps back, and then as gracefully and lithely as a cat, he jumped the godamn fence.  Keep in mind this guy was about 5', 5 1/2' tall, 7-8' long, and fully grown, just this massive beast.  800lbs?  1,000? 1,200?  He cleared the fence like it was nothing.  then the others followed suit.  it was just incredible to see.  "did you see that?"  "....yeah!  holy shiat!"



Two things-


Wow, I've lived between these two NP's almost my entire life, and didn't know they could do that, indeed a csb.

and #2- if you ever get back this way, hit me up.  BBQ is always ready to go, and beers are on me.
 
2019-08-22 03:07:06 PM  

SloppyFrenchKisser: No, this is not a frightening video.
You're secured in a metal box.
Some scrapes and other shiat may happen.
But your life is not in danger.
Go post your useless shiat on FB for your friends to get all alarmed about.
Then post a photo of your farking dinner.


CSB: Was in the park on a motorcycle when traffic stopped (could not see around the tall van stopped in front of me).  A small group of bison (about five) wanted to cross the road where I was stuck.  Turned the engine off .  Bull gave me a look I interpreted as "you gonna be cool?" then nodded its head and they walked calmly around me.  It all happened too quickly to soil myself.
 
2019-08-22 03:08:16 PM  
proxy.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 03:55:16 PM  

stir22: and #2- if you ever get back this way, hit me up. BBQ is always ready to go, and beers are on me.



deal....but we have no present plans to go back.  but yeah man, that was a magical place.  i always say how on my last day - i'm not religious, i don't believe in the invisible or the woo-woo -  we were watching the sun set inside the park near West Yellowstone, where the road goes by that winding, S-curve after S-curve creek and i said to no one, "thank you, Creator."  I was amazed at teh stuff we'd seen in our week there and I said a silent prayer that kinda took me by surprise.  there was a cleansing kind of energy there.  I know that might sound silly but i swear, i felt cleansed.


notmyjab: Bull gave me a look I interpreted as "you gonna be cool?" then nodded its head and they walked calmly around me.


yup.  at the same general area I just mentioned, a few miles away from Madison Junction, there was this huge car pullout.  we got out and saw a small herd about 50 yards away.  that was about as close I felt comfortable.  other people got closer of course, but just slightly, to take pictures.  there were a few smaller bison on the ground and wehther male or female, i don't know, but there was a big one that gave us "that" look.  "You guys stay there, and I'll stay here, and we'll be a couple of cool little Fonzies, right?  Right?"

it was interspecies ESP of sorts - i swear we were both thinking the same thing.
 
2019-08-22 05:06:31 PM  

SloppyFrenchKisser: No, this is not a frightening video.
You're secured in a metal box.
Some scrapes and other shiat may happen.
But your life is not in danger.
Go post your useless shiat on FB for your friends to get all alarmed about.
Then post a photo of your farking dinner.


Ah, I've been in that situation twice. Once on a motorcycle and once in a VW van.  We used cars to hide behind. It was terrifying.

The van didn't make me feel any safer. Those things are freeking huge and at full steam they could easily  tip a van over.
They ain't all that bright and don't exercise very good judgement. As in, why go around it when I can just go through it kind of deal.
 
2019-08-22 05:43:21 PM  

rickythepenguin: i.voted.for.Drew: They are enormous animals, but the road runs right through THEIR world, so I am not surprised.

cool pic -  is that yours?

I was bummed;  of the thousands of buffalo we saw, I ddin't get a good picture of one.  on one hand, that's because i wasn't about to get too close to one.  but even via telephoto i never got any good pictures.  just "yeah, that's about 50 bison running in the grass, about 200 yards away from us...."


Yes.  That was from inside the car with the cell phone.
Here is a better picture (from my DSLR) of one at about 100 yards:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-08-22 05:45:39 PM  

rickythepenguin: ... it was interspecies ESP of sorts - i swear we were both thinking the same thing.



Exactly!  And I also agree on your earlier points of the park being a very special place.
 
2019-08-22 05:53:22 PM  

This text is now purple: rickythepenguin: I always tell this story in Yellowstone / bison threads.....we went to YNP/GTNP in 2016.  just gorgeous.  Stunning.  I'd love to go back someday.   a magical, magical place.

anyways....the first bison herd we saw, we were in a convoy of about 10-15 cars.  I noted a bunch of brake lights and was like, "huh?"  when we got closer, we saw about 15-20 bison by the side of road, a few babies, younger ones, and 5-6 adults, led by one big ass bison.  they have these small wooden fences, about 4' high, with little cutouts to let the bison pass between roads.

we were just about 20-30' away (if that) and the leader, he walked to one end of the fence then the other, searching for an opening.  finding none, he took a few steps back, and then as gracefully and lithely as a cat, he jumped the godamn fence.  Keep in mind this guy was about 5', 5 1/2' tall, 7-8' long, and fully grown, just this massive beast.  800lbs?  1,000? 1,200?  He cleared the fence like it was nothing.  then the others followed suit.  it was just incredible to see.  "did you see that?"  "....yeah!  holy shiat!"

Cattle can do that, too. The difference is, cattle don't know it. They mostly do it when panicked, or something not aware. Cattle fences are at the height they are because cattle won't attempt to clear something above their head, even though they are fully capable of doing so.

The difficulty is once over the fence, the cattle also doesn't believe it can make the jump back into the corral.


I was at a rodeo when I was a kid and after dumping it's rider one of the bulls decided it didn't want to play the game with the clowns, or it just had urgent business to attend to. It jumped over the gate that separates the ring from the holding pen.

That gate was a good 2-3 feet taller than the fencing between the ring and the crowd. I'm glad Mr. Bull knew where he was headed. It could have been a mess.
 
2019-08-22 06:21:15 PM  

i.voted.for.Drew: Here is a better picture (from my DSLR) of one at about 100 yards:


that's great.  i like the birds too.  Yeah I'll have to look at my YNP pix and see if any decent shots of buffalo came out.  none really come to mind.  if anything is worth posting I'll post, check back if you like later.  or not!!


notmyjab:
Exactly! And I also agree on your earlier points of the park being a very special place.

yup.  I 100% felt a kind of energy there.  i just remember being startled by those words leaving my mouth.  it was like subconsciously i was thanking creation for the mere experience to see that amazing place.  i swear, in the weeks/months afterwards when friends/family would ask about the trip, i would choke up a little.  swear to god.  it had a lasting effect on me, the raw, untouched beauty of the majestic views and creatures within.  the Grand Prismatic!  that's an actual thing!  unreal.  such very, very fond memories of that place.

*contented sigh*
 
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