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(The New Yorker)   Denmark offers to buy the US instead. Except for its government   (newyorker.com) divider line
    More: Satire, Donald Trump, United States, Ivana Trump, Fred Trump, Trump Entertainment Resorts, Donald J. Trump's hypothetical proposal, The Apprentice, key provision of the purchase offer  
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921 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Aug 2019 at 5:12 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2019-08-16 04:00:29 PM  
We're truly a fixer-upper.
 
2019-08-16 04:04:08 PM  
MEANWHILE: the most valuable natural resource on Greenland is melting and running away. Maybe a big beautiful wall to contain it until the price rises.
 
2019-08-16 04:11:36 PM  
I for one welcome our new Danish overlords.  I'd like to remind them as a trusted Farker I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground Hønsekødssuppe caves.
 
2019-08-16 04:27:36 PM  
So disappointed that this is Borowitz. I would love to see President Babyhands respond to the offer.
 
2019-08-16 05:16:45 PM  
Sounds good to me. I, for one, would like a little Nordic social Democracy.
 
2019-08-16 05:17:13 PM  

Dallymo: So disappointed that this is Borowitz. I would love to see President Babyhands respond to the offer.


If he got commission on the deal, he'd do it.
 
2019-08-16 05:18:28 PM  
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Come by Monday to pick up the keys. We'll leave the windows cracked to air out the smell of the dead democracy.
 
2019-08-16 05:18:46 PM  
Sold!
 
2019-08-16 05:18:54 PM  
I'm fine with paying Danegeld.
 
2019-08-16 05:18:59 PM  
With all the debt and negative goodwill I think we'd have to pay someone to put up a new flag.
 
2019-08-16 05:19:54 PM  
It would be a rotten deal for them.
 
2019-08-16 05:20:34 PM  
I'm ok with this
 
2019-08-16 05:27:14 PM  
We accept

Don't you want to see how much we're offer- 

WE ACCEPT!
 
2019-08-16 05:28:13 PM  
I'm pretty sour my ancestors left it in the first place, so please, you know, proceed.
 
2019-08-16 05:31:49 PM  
I believe that runs afoul of lemon laws.
 
2019-08-16 05:36:36 PM  
In Soviet breakfast, Danish buys you!
 
2019-08-16 05:37:25 PM  
jöösð thæ kæybörð change wuudbe a  ðoösæ.  Donð leivæþ anyööne on the bridge cut in halþþf betwðxt. Kanada ær Mexiko.  It kud be a þorny problem.
 
2019-08-16 05:48:12 PM  
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2019-08-16 05:56:24 PM  
I'd be okay with this, as long as I don't have to learn Danish.
 
2019-08-16 05:58:19 PM  

LincolnLogolas: I'd be okay with this, as long as I don't have to learn Danish.


They understand that under it all, we'd still be American, which means we have an inability to learn more than 1 language.  Don't worry, by the next generation they'd be intelligent, multi-lingual happy children.  The rest of us will be grandfathered.
 
2019-08-16 05:59:10 PM  
They'll have to talk to the current owner. I'm sure they have someone who speaks Russian.
 
2019-08-16 06:09:44 PM  

Diogenes: We're truly a fixer-upper.


fear not, I have been studying Danish and I can communicate with them.
 
2019-08-16 06:11:57 PM  
"We believe that by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,"

So do I.... so do I... *sobs*
 
2019-08-16 06:36:08 PM  
We bought the Virgin Islands from them, maybe there's a clause in the sale document and they can exercise an option on the U.S.
 
2019-08-16 07:04:09 PM  
There is one drawback.  The vikings traditionally take the beautiful women back to Danemark, and leave the ugly ones.   You'll be fine.
 
2019-08-16 07:06:59 PM  

BitwiseShift: There is one drawback.  The vikings traditionally take the beautiful women back to Danemark, and leave the ugly ones.   You'll be fine.


Well, I wouldn't mind moving to Denmark.

Anyway, that's where my in-laws live anyway.
 
2019-08-16 09:53:41 PM  
How about they just buy Puerto Rico?
 
2019-08-17 12:42:57 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: BitwiseShift: There is one drawback.  The vikings traditionally take the beautiful women back to Danemark, and leave the ugly ones.   You'll be fine.

Well, I wouldn't mind moving to Denmark.

Anyway, that's where my in-laws live anyway.


Nice to have that kind of emergency escape hatch :p
 
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