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(New Yorkish)   Man spends life in search of overpriced, generic, terrible-tasting coffee   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
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8175 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2004 at 2:37 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

109 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-07-16 10:16:49 AM  
hey, i like starbucks and i am not ashamed to say so.

give me a venti soy mocha (decaf, of course---don't need another heart attack) or a strawberries and cream frap and a strawberry shortcake scone anyday.
2004-07-16 10:17:03 AM  
Talk about a desperate need for attention
2004-07-16 10:25:40 AM  
Starbucks is okay. They also have some higher-grade coffees that you can buy. It's more expensive, but really good. I hate their house blend, though. And the Christmas blend? UGH.
2004-07-16 10:32:06 AM  
ever tried the gingerbread latte?
2004-07-16 10:32:41 AM  
um...anyone seen a proper close tag lying around?

Hello, Close tag, clean up aisle 7...
2004-07-16 10:35:25 AM  
I don't really like lattes. I usually get coffee or iced coffee. Keep it simple, that's my motto. Or was it E Pluribus Unum?...
2004-07-16 10:43:49 AM  
Coffee? Do people still drink that crap?
2004-07-16 10:54:27 AM  
Starbucks isn't in the coffee business. It's in the milk business. I don't like the way they roast their beans, and it makes their coffee taste bitter. I guess that doesn't matter since most people that come in are dumping milk and sugar and flavored syrups and chocolate and whipped cream and on and on and on. I've read that the coffee craze is a contributing factor to American obesity. Well, a cup of black coffee has no calories, so it's all those mochalattefrappucinos that are doing it. I walk by most coffee shops, and they smell like coffee, but Starbucks always smells like a milkshake, because that's basically what it serves.

Sorry for the rant.
2004-07-16 10:59:32 AM  
That's true. I don't put sugar in my coffee, but to me it's undrinkable without cream. I don't know about blaming that much obesity on coffee drinks, though. Seems to me like people drink more sodas (with their fast food) than sweet coffees.
2004-07-16 11:00:59 AM  
BTW, is this a repeat?
2004-07-16 02:40:55 PM  
Not a coffee fan myself - but people do rave about a Starbucks coffee. Does the submitter have a clue?
2004-07-16 02:41:14 PM  
An ugly hepped up programmer! He must be a devil with the ladies.
2004-07-16 02:41:43 PM  
farking moron needs to get a farking life ...
2004-07-16 02:42:46 PM  
wow. I mean, I like the flavored mocha/chocolate/orange/latte/frappu/cappu/whatever coffee every once in a while, too, but to drink it every time I grab some coffee (2-3 times a day)? I would be a farking fatass in no time...
2004-07-16 02:43:28 PM  
Starbucks coffee tastes burnt. I can burn my own coffee at home, thank you very much. AND, it's a lot cheaper!

/not into this yuppie-puppie "gourmet" coffee/
/happy with Folger's or the occasional Dunkin' Donuts/
2004-07-16 02:43:34 PM  
"overpriced, generic, terrible-tasting coffee" add in "overly hot", too. I figured he was looking for some Mickey Dee's caffeine from the Fark-line.
2004-07-16 02:43:55 PM  
This was uninteresting the first time it was covered.

2004-07-16 02:45:46 PM  
Most baristas at Starbucks don't know how to pull espresso shots.
2004-07-16 02:47:24 PM  
Another slow news day eh? Is the war going so slowly/badly/well thatwe have to have stories about hyper computer programmers?
2004-07-16 02:47:52 PM  
I suppose a Starbucks coffee follows the same tagline as marmite then...
2004-07-16 02:47:55 PM  
Good point Nabb:
Personally although I don't think it has That much to do w/ obesity, I do agree that there's way too much sugar in the darn things. Does anyone have stats on the amount of calories/sugar in a crappucino vs. a Coke?

I used to be a coffee snob (only Peet's, no Starbucks) till I moved east. My wife's family drinks this Cuban brand that's fine ground for espressos and demitasse, except everyone uses it for drip makers.

One HALF a cup and I'm flying off the walls. Peet's never did that to me. So fark coffee snobbery. I'll take my caffeine the junkie's way.

/I'm tryin' find the mainline
/I said I couldn't hit it sideways
/no, I couldn't hit it sideways
/It's just like Sister Ray says...
2004-07-16 02:48:18 PM  
What a total jackass.
2004-07-16 02:48:27 PM  
"An ugly hepped up programmer! He must be a devil with the ladies."

Who sleeps in a beat-up old Honda, no less! What a catch!
2004-07-16 02:49:01 PM  
any kitchen gurus know of a good home coffee thingy that would cater to a mocha and cream type addict?
2004-07-16 02:50:18 PM  
Sorry, where is the stupid tag when you need it? And why did we have to see this bland headline again on Fark?

[image from too old to be available]
2004-07-16 02:50:31 PM  
They just built one in El Centro , CA.
1. Does anyone know where EC is?
2. Will this guy make it there?

2004-07-16 02:53:27 PM  
Okay, obviously Fark is having a slow news day. Let's play fill-in-the-blank with Lella, todays Fark Personals girl:

"I'd like to slap her across the _______ with my big ________"

/have fun!
2004-07-16 02:54:03 PM  
Charbucks blows. They roast the hell out of standard beans, and everyone thinks it tastes "oh so rich!" Find a real importer/roaster, like Tim at the Tea Party in Ottawa, and learn to appreciate the nuances of different growers, beans and roasts. You'll find that coffee can be as variable exciting as fine wine, scotch or cigars. The only downside is that a good cup will spoil you for the mass-produced stuff afterwards.
2004-07-16 02:54:17 PM  
Holy Farking Christ this guy's a LOSER!
2004-07-16 02:57:05 PM  

/on second pot
2004-07-16 02:57:44 PM  
What a loser. If he thinks he'll get the same reaction from that Super Size Me documentary, he won't. People associate bad things with McDonalds moreso than Starbucks, IMO.
2004-07-16 02:57:46 PM  
This inspires me I think I will quit my job and visit every Waffle House in the US. Scattered, Smothered, Covered, Chunked, Topped, and Diced. Their Coffee Ain't bad either.
2004-07-16 02:58:47 PM  
do I live in the only place in America without a Starbucks??

/i am okay with this.
2004-07-16 02:59:16 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2004-07-16 02:59:47 PM  
Ha, I live in a town of over 20000 people, and we don't have a Starbucks. Although, every time I go to one, it tastes a hell of a lot better then Caribu Coffee ever will. The cheap drip coffee is the best way to go though, Yuban drip actually tastes so much better then the overly-sweet-lots-and-lots-of-fat-crap.
Oh and overpriced terrible coffee? Try McDonalds, Best Western, Denny's, and TA. I would average the actual cost of a cup of that crap at 3 cents.
2004-07-16 03:01:25 PM  
First... Starbucks sucks. I drink my coffee black and their stuff tastes like goat. No wonder they have all those different creamers and flavored syrups in there. It's to hide the fact that their coffee is awful.

Second... Dude's a loser.
2004-07-16 03:02:29 PM  
For cryin out loud! If he likes Starbucks so much, why doesn't he get a job there in Market Development or Marketing or whatever??
2004-07-16 03:03:11 PM  
I like the taste of Starbucks, but dealing with those damn baristas is getting more and more annoying:

"I'd like a large coffee, black please."
Is that tall, venti or grande?
"Um, large, you know, like the biggest cup you have"
So a venti
"May I please just get a large cup of coffee, black?"
Would you like room for cream?
exit, stage left

I'll admit that I'm a beer snob, though I believe that there's no such thing as a bad beer unless you brewed an infected batch. These Starbucks yuppies, howver, seem to be picking up on the coffee culture not because they have a deep passion for the brew, but because it's the latest way to spend too much money trying to look refined. Personally, I think if you're buying a frappa-mocha-capa-whatevera-chino, you probably don't like coffee in the first place.

/$0.02 USD
2004-07-16 03:04:27 PM  
That's just about the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.

Coffee schmoffee...I buy a 3-lb can of grocery store coffee for what a single cup costs at them hi-falutin' places, and I make it thick and black and it wakes me up just fine.
2004-07-16 03:05:30 PM  
While i have been forced to purchase starbucks from time to time, I have never and will never order a coffee using their cute little names for the size of the cup. Yes, this almost caused a problem when a particularly rabid south beach starbucks employee tried to arm twist me into saying anything other than "medium" and almost wouldn't serve me.

Dennis Leary has a very funny bit about trying to order a "coffee flavored coffee"
2004-07-16 03:05:38 PM  
Wouldn't a strawberries and cream frappe and scone have lots of fat that would help give you another heart attack? Or is it low-fat cream?

/grew up in a town of 50k, still no 'Bucks
2004-07-16 03:06:40 PM  
NYC's gotta be fun.

/Went there on a school trip in March..saw about 80 different Starbucks.
2004-07-16 03:07:55 PM  
Ugh everybody acts so pretentious..."find a real importer/roaster...and learn to appreciate the nuances of different growers..." blah blah blah you queer, not everybody has a stuffy little coffee hobby. I don't give a rats ass about how deliciously roasted their beans are, I just don't care to patronize their viral franchise. Anyway, the guy in the article is a goober and I'm grouchy because I didn't have coffee this morning because my local coffee shop isn't as conveniently located as starbucks is to the freeway.
2004-07-16 03:08:53 PM  
I second Adman12's statement about buying from a real roaster (and more specifically, about The Tea Party): you don't really know how bad most of the chain coffee is until you've experienced freshly (and properly) roasted beans.
2004-07-16 03:11:03 PM  
Irulebiatch... I live in a city with over 500,000 people including suburbs... and we don't have a starbucks either. Unless there's one inside of the single Barns & Nobles we have on Monroe St. But according to the article, those don't count. :)

Toledo has some good qualities I spose.

/Knows they probably snuck one in somewhere when I wasn't looking.
2004-07-16 03:12:39 PM  

Preach it, brother! Or sister, case depending. Either way, right on.
2004-07-16 03:13:40 PM  
Drink all the crap coffee you want, teensie. But you're missing out.
2004-07-16 03:14:27 PM  
I think he was last spotted in Poughkeepise:​ tml

Hey buddy: cut back on the caffeine.
2004-07-16 03:14:37 PM  
And thanks for comin' out, Rollo.
2004-07-16 03:15:55 PM  
"Find a real importer/roaster, like Tim at the Tea Party in Ottawa"

The only time I went to a Starbucks was the one at the Rideau Centre. I asked for a large 100% Colombian, the guy said "Uh, we don't have any left" He said the house blend was similar. It was the last time I've ever been to a Starbucks.
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